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[Redpyramidhead]

I have never posted a thread like this before because I don't usually believe in sounding this way. This is probably counterproductive , but I am at the end of my rope. I have been single for two years almost. I know there are a lot of you in here who haven't even experienced love yet and you might use that argument atleast sub-consciously to write off this lament of mine here as unwarrented. "Why should Red get to complain? Atleast he has had somebody, before." But if you stop and think about how ridiculous that sounds, you should be choking on your words. Everybody deserves love. At this point, I'm almost to the point where all I ask for is somebody to give me a try, again. I am more than worth it and I know this and that is why I am so frustrated. I know what I have to offer.

I have changed a lot since my most recent relationship ended in 2002. I am a new man in many ways. A lot of extremely tough shit can't stop me these days. I have been to the bottom of my mind's inferno where the very threads that keep you from falling into the mouth of your satan start to unravel and you are slipping out... I have been there and back. I did it all without a good women by my side and I improved my threshold for pain all without the help of a good women by my side as well, too. I have succeeded in life without the notion I had in my mind that I needed someone for happiness all those years in order to function at a decent level let along the level I have achieved that I am at now that I never dreamed possible before in my life. For years I thought I need a girl in my life to be happy, but I proved that whole thing wrong by experiences happiness... true happiness in my life for the first time since I was but a child. It has been a long, dismal, and and impossible journey, but I conquered it. I passed the greatest test my life has dealt me! So far...

With all this new found confidence in myself I have become able to finally have mediums in my life with which to make the fruits of my creativity within this world at an alarming rate. SOmething I had been so frustrated about not being able to do before. I would have so many ideas, but there was a wall preventing me from making them happen and I thought I would never tear down that wall. I thought I was doomed to a mundane existence. Now I know I am not in this sense. My creative outlets include my writing, my music, and a number of things.

All of this has felt good enough that for a while even I felt I did not want a gf. Well, I was partly kidding myself and slowly my heart started to ache again. It knows along with my soul...

I can kid myself into feeling complete or even be complete in many ways with the new prospects in my life, but I never will be without my soul mate. How does one cope with feeling so alone? I have given countless advice on how to in the past becaus I have learned a few things along the way that have been a godsend. I have had to learn new ways of looking at things.

But when it comes down to it at the end of each day I am still alone. I have talked to all kinds of girls and been myself to each and every one of them, but I have seen no just reward for my efforts.

My good friend online here just told me "just wait she is out there and she is coming to find you" and I wonder if that is true in some sense. What I do know is that I am searching for her...... it has been so long... I am only human. Hell hath no sorrow like a soul without a mate. I... I can't talk anymore. All I know is that now I do need a good women by my side. Whoever and wherever you are. I could cherish you.

Well, I'm gone for now...

PEACE


_RED_ stuff

[Deathwatchz]

i know this is going to sound redundant, but keep your head up man, you are a great guy and i know you will find someone who deserves you. im not gonna tell you what to do, but some of the time, the lack of affection does hurt.. i know this from experience, and i can tell you i didnt like it either. if you are considering giving an old fling another chance, i dont know if it is such a bad thing, as long as they are a person that can support you for the time being. even if it is just a mutual agreement to give some temporary affection to satisfy the void you feel. as long as they arent someone who hurt you deeply, i think it might no be such a bad idea, and it really isnt lowering yourself. oh well, im not the best of people to give advice on relationships right now, but if u need someone to talk to, there are more than a few open ears here. catch ya later man, and good luck.

[IcyMourdor]

This sounds like me like a week ago. My gf and I split up our romantic ties. We are still great friends and all, but she just wasn't ready for a relationship yet. Even though we still are great friends, I was devastated. And then there is one thing I learned through all my relationships whoever they were. Just because it didn't work out with them doesn't mean there isn't someone out there for you.

I am a firm believer that two souls are meant to be with one another, and will travel until they can be together. You just have to be ready...and patient. Souls are eternal, and thus their quest can be as well. Just keep looking, but don't let it worry you. This will only lead into depression the more you think about it. I know, I just snapped out mine.

My group of friends are another example. We have like 15 people in our group. Half of them has had gfs/bfs because they were themselves. I myself of found gfs, offline and online, cause I was, as my last gf Bobby would say it "cute and caring" self. And yet, I never hid what I was, a gamer who was a jock. Some of my friends haven't had gfs/bfs cause they hide who they are. They act like themselves when at my house. But when they are around their gf, they act like three different people.

I don't care who you are. You could be an amazing person or you could be a Brian Hext (my friends here will understand the meaning). Everyone will find someone, someday. Either in this life, or the next, or maybe the one after that. However, that goes into my spiritual beliefs, whole nother topic.

Don't get yourself down red. She is out there and she is looking for you as well. Just give it time and have fun in the mean time. Don't take being single for granted.

[tempted]

Well i can only tell you to be patient ..you're a great guy and i know that someday someone is going to realise that..i know that being alone isn't the best of things but look at me i was alone for quite awhile and apparently as you know i found someone who really loves me and i wasn't searching for someone as you also know ...so take it easy and be patient cause i'm sure that she ,who ever she is, will come to you..just keep being yourself and don't let this depress you ...ttyl...xx

[Piggle_humsy]

Well you know the story of my love life so I can't really give you advice, and no im not gonna moan at you either, I'm just gonna say that you do deserve someone great and they will come along, but right now I think the best thing you can do is to be happy being single no matter how hard you find it, y'know sometimes when your not looking for that special someone that someone comes along , just as eli has proven, and if you seem happy within yourself that is a big attraction.

Piggle
x x x x

[goodman]

The fact is, most women wont be the one for you, so instead of going through many, search for the one who is right. Do whatever it takes in the meantime to get along. Actually, as you get older, you will find that while you love the company of a good woman, you can still be happy if you have a settled life and keep busy. Ive had a few girlfriends the past two years, myself, and yet i still very much enjoy my own privacy as much as i do being with them. I didnt really even date much till i was in my late twenties, between shyness and simply trying to find a place in society. What you will learn from listening to others can be helpful, but in the end do whats right for yourself. Same advice i gave to Trunks a while back when he was reeling from the loss of his girlfriend, dont let someone else be the cause of your happiness or unhappiness, find it for yourself, and if someone else wants to join you, then great, at least your happy either way... Many mistake loneliness for being alone, actually loneliness is being seperated internally from the source of life that we all need as human beings, which doesnt come from another person, but God alone...

[007_JamesBond]

i am alone again but that is because of my job, i had the best relationship i could ask for b4 i went in, then after about 4 months of me bein in we desided to call it quits, it suxd, and it took me a while to find someone i could have a relationship with, not many of you know me but well im not the relationship after another guy i wait to have one i can have and make last for a while, that doesnt happen to often so hense me bein alone most of the time, all i can say to you is there is someone out there for you , you might know the person itll hit you though soon enough just wait a little longer, itll be alright

[Redpyramidhead]

I really really appreciate all the support guyz. I thank you deeply. I had something I was going to say about some things that were mentioned, but I am exhausted at the moment. I've been up all night fixing songs. Mourdor and Goodman each made some particularly interesting points that I wanted to address. I will get back to you on that. I will mention, though, that I understand what you mean and I have not confused being alone with loneliness. Perhaps my wording was off.

There is something else I neglected to mention. I am not exactly the kind of guy that girls will ever line up for. Quite the opposite. My argument is that I am worth lining up for, but some of us just dont got it. Not that kinda luck. So those of you with certain suggestions, take into account for somebody like me it is easier said than done.

_RED_ stuff

[007_JamesBond]

i like that argument, girls dont line up for me either, i think i will try your suggestion and plead the same argument

[Gadzoox]

There's no one in my line up either!

Everyone wants to find their soul mate right away, so you can spend more of your life with them, right? I know I sure do. But life doesn't always go the way you want it to, no matter how hard you wish, it just doesn't work that way. And I'm just repeating everyone here, but it's true.

IT WILL HAPPEN SOME DAY!!!!!

Don't waste all your life lementing on something like that because you're just wasting your time! Plus people don't want to be around other people who feel sorry for themselves. I'm not saying you are a downer, because I don't know you in real life and can't tell, but just incase! Plus if you're just sitting there waiting for the one to come along, chances are she wont, so don't think about it and just go on with life and when you least expect it she'll be there!

[goodman]

Definitely on the up and up there, Zoox, when the time is right the right person will be there, but life is meant for living either way. The vibes you put off today will make the life you live worthwhile and prosperous in the future. Ancient chinese secret..........

[Infernal Mass]

Why am I still alone?

You're the only one that has the answers to that question.

[Vicious_2003]

Everyone wants to find their soul mate right away, so you can spend more of your life with them, right? I know I sure do. But life doesn't always go the way you want it to, no matter how hard you wish, it just doesn't work that way. And I'm just repeating everyone here, but it's true

To reiterate what zoox said bro. You cant rush love...hmm..I think thats a song aint it. Some people wait thier whole lives to find love. Some people dont get married till thier in thier late 40's. You cant expect that every one of your relationships is gonna last forever. I know its hard..especially if your the kind of guy that gets...lets just say.... attached.to a girl.

I myself have never expericenced true love of that measure so im sure it leaves a whole that u want to fill asap. But perhaps Usher could be of some wisdom here. U gotta let it burn my friend..gotta.let it burn . Oh man..did I just quote Usher.....SHIT !

[Redpyramidhead]

I am wondering if half of you didn't read my post and just read the thread title. Either that or I need to work on my communication skills when I explain things...that's probably more likely... I dont know. I thank those who took time to understand it even though it is probably hard to understand what I am saying sometimes because I tend to rant too much.

I wrote two whole paragraphs explaining things... How I had overcome my dependency way back on the idea of needing a gf to be happy. I made a lot of progress beyond that. I said so much more than that. In fact I suggest you read it again if you are thinking of posting here. I tried to explain that it is much deeper than an on the surface just me being lonely problem, but I guess maybe this isn't the place for this even though I know a lot of you are very caring and supportive.

In fact, I am wondering if I should just ask for this thread to be closed...then again I don't know...maybe this is what I need. More advice than I usually tend to seek. After all, I can't be a hypocrite when I give advice...heh.

Thank you all for your support. It means a lot to me. I just need to get over this on my own like I did before, but with a little support from friends, too... i have realized.

Trust me, I don't just sit around for someone special to come to me. I'm way past that. It's a deeper issue I have to resolve. I am not wastin my life on waiting for anything... I am doing things with it. PEACE out for now.

_RED_ stuff

[goodman]

Its tough, RPH, ive been asked many times over the years why i never got married, or what i was doing on a dating website. Meeting and being with the fairer sex is a real dodgey thing. Ive succeeded and been doing well, and sit at home wondering what i gotta do to meet someone to do something with. One thing i can say from my experiences is its clear that most women are looking for that special one, and if you arent it, then they just keep moving on. The ability to "just be friends" isnt anywhere near as straight forward as it sounds, most arent willing to be "just" that, luckily one in particular is... Hey if one thing from this thread you have found out your in similar situations to many, so there wasnt a reason not to do this thread, just realize the answer isnt an easy one, were all up against something...

[Gadzoox]

I dunno Red, cuz I read it all before I posted that, AND again just now. What I figured was that you obviously are/were dwelling on it enough for you to seek out the advice of others, but I guess I was wrong.
So, I'm sorry.
Actually no, I'm really not sorry! I gave my two cents, and that's that! But like you mentioned, Just know that we all care about you enough to try and help you out!

[Deathwatchz]

oh well man, usually i get more in depth to a conversation, but i was down in the dumps at the time about my own troubles, and probably just assumed the worst even though your post kind of suggested against it. if you have gotten past the point of needing a relationship, congratulations, youre a stronger man than i am right now. well, guess since the "deeper" problem isnt discussed, then ill just have to say if you wanna talk about it, we're all ears, if not, good luck man.

[Redpyramidhead]

Originally Posted by Gadzoox

I dunno Red, cuz I read it all before I posted that, AND again just now. What I figured was that you obviously are/were dwelling on it enough for you to seek out the advice of others, but I guess I was wrong.
So, I'm sorry.
Actually no, I'm really not sorry! I gave my two cents, and that's that! But like you mentioned, Just know that we all care about you enough to try and help you out!

No no. I wasn't asking anybody to apologize and I was seeking advice and as I said before I am grateful that so many ppl care. I hope I did not offend you Gadzoox for taking the time to offer the advice you did because I know from experience that analyzing somebody else's issue and then writing out one's thoughts on it with the thought in mind to help out is not an easy process at all. So I thank you all. Also, Deathwathz, your posts were plenty in depth and I thank you for taking the time to make them even with your situation going on which I imagine is tugging at your heart threads really hard. Adding that on top of what Goodman said, I think we should maybe turn this thread into a more general one addressing the common topic that it brings up and how it affects everybody's lives.

So, who's next? Heh.

_RED_ stuff

[trunks69420]

Red my good friend... as you know... i was struggling with this for quite some time... and it was eating my self... my soul... and my heart apart... and you heard me the other day when i talked to you... you know what i said and what i said to do... but i also have read what others have said and they have good ideas.. a common theme was it will happen someday... but as being in your situation.... that isnt very comforting in the meantime whilst you are still alone.. and i feel for ya bone.. i really do... but if you really want someone that bad you can come stay with me j/k bone.... but seriously man... you got my number.. and you can call me whenever you want to talk... but for now... as the lovely tupac would say... keep yo head up
peace out bro

[Uchiha Sasuke]

I just know I feel the same way. I am all about finding the right one and I'm only 20. I have such a strong moral obligation not to date to many girls and such because thats the just the way I feel. I always complain to myself about how I don't have a G/F and such, but its what I believe that is keeping me back. I don't see myself with anyone for a good long while do to this and it is quite troubling, but I will stand by what I believe and live everyday to its fullest despite how bad my heart aches for someone. As for you red all I can do is advise the same. Try not to let anything with love to get you down to much. It is the hardest feeling to hide and try to seal, but if you suceed you will enjoy life so much more for what it is.