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May 10th, 2003, 12:03 PM | #1 |
Chokyonim
Joined: Nov 2002
Location: Cincy,OH
Age: 37
Posts: 113
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Thunderstorms
Shards of light
reflect bright high in the sky, air seared, scorched by bolts, birds broken from flight, clouds darken, soaked deep with God’s depressive ink painted this dismal picture for my own contemplation I think- abrupt cries ring loud like lions roaring strong through lungs with powers of a muezzin that’s calling for kings it seems to me that, rain dances intimately between me and the ground I dance too, while it lulls me to sleep with it’s peaceful, sensual, serene sounds, I dream now, I fiend now for that person to share my watch there for my journey tangled in my arms intricately, like parts to a watch- Startled again by the gunshot fire way up in the stratosphere or higher feels like a warfare far in the Heavens and I’m glad I’m here, so for now I lay here enjoying my fireworks display the grey, the white, the black not many colors but hey it works, there’s something surreal about this, mystifying as eternal bliss as gripping as an ethereal kiss- the thud of the rain brings me back, it’s parallel to pain so how could I just feign and maintain my sanity the power of God models itself in all its vanity commanding me, to take notice- very demanding of me, the shimmy of the wind chime makes this time even more sublime and just a few seconds later the sun shines... Awe struck I stand, change can come so fast so grasp these moments forever- while they last.
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May 10th, 2003, 08:11 PM | #2 |
||escape||reality||
Joined: May 2003
Location: Ireland. UK
Age: 40
Posts: 127
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nice, very nice m8
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[color=light blue]courage[/color]=respect respect=[color=light blue]honor[/color] |
May 18th, 2003, 09:33 PM | #3 |
Now or Never
Joined: Jan 2002
Location: Zürich
Age: 42
Posts: 2,456
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Cool poem. It has some "funny" lines in it, but it is indeed nice to read. Also for the use of rhymes here and there.
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May 20th, 2003, 08:14 PM | #4 |
Chokyonim
Joined: Nov 2002
Location: Cincy,OH
Age: 37
Posts: 113
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Thanks for the replies... what do you mean by "funny" lines?
[]D
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May 20th, 2003, 08:50 PM | #5 |
Useless Oracle™
Joined: Jan 2002
Location: Everywhere
Posts: 5,136
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"Elegant" description of a thunderstom. Effective imagery too
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May 21st, 2003, 10:26 PM | #6 |
pazparacolombia
Joined: Sep 2002
Location: Restless dreams...
Age: 43
Posts: 2,002
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This poem sounded very powerful to me...alll of the intense weather imagery certainly woke me up and I could almost hear the deafening sounds...and it was interesting how you dabbled in turning these normally portrayed as destructive forces into some kind of peaceful thing that entertwined with something else...eerrghhh...I'll have to read it again...but great job!
_RED_ stuff
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"..loathsome laughing, mixed with such a cry as no man has heard save for in the phlegathon of unrelatable nightmares; a cry wherein reverberated the horror and anguish of a haunted lifetime packed into one atrocious moment..." |
Jul 18th, 2003, 09:16 AM | #7 |
Virtual
Joined: Jul 2003
Location: Virtual Zone
Posts: 191
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Very good poem. Nice job.
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Jul 19th, 2003, 01:48 AM | #8 |
Techno Artist
Joined: Apr 2003
Location: Global
Age: 40
Posts: 732
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I must say very nice poem man.
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Jul 22nd, 2003, 07:16 AM | #9 |
Registered User
Joined: Jul 2003
Location: Finland
Age: 38
Posts: 39
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Very nice poem. Looks professional.
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Jul 22nd, 2003, 09:06 AM | #10 |
Registered User
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 49
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Amazing!
Nice Job, I liked it. Nice rhyming.
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