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[tokim021]

Just continue the story...

Snake steps into the giant hangar to find...

[Cannibal Clown]

A dirty pile of laundry that he forgot to take to the cleaners. He tells himself that he has to drop the mission at hand and take care of this before Otakon b*tches at him for being a slob. But he knows that he doesn't have time for such nonscence, so he takes the dirty pile of clothes and tosses 'em over a rail. Then he hears a voice from over the railing, yelling "WTF?" as a pile of sweaty laundry falls on his head. Snake then scrambles into a...


(I've already screwed ythis story up, so if you want to start it a different way, it's fine with me.)

[tokim021]

*dammit people post*

snake scrambles into a...

...laundry basket...

[Mercury Shadow]

Revolver Ocelot has made a genius scheme of putting a big laundry basket to have Snake fall into! Then Snake looks up, and low and behold, he sees....

[Rei]

... a giant chipmunk staring at him! "Damn!" thinks Snake "He looks hungry!"

[Qjij_jijQ]

Snake then remembers that his grandpa had once told him that if he ever came across a giant chipmunk, the best way to get rid of it would be to shoot his eyes !

So Snake takes out his gun and start shootin' at the giant chipmunk's eyes !

[Sword 4 Hire]

But unfortunately for Snake...the giant man-eating chipmunk had just wipped out and put on his bullet proof shades...so now this chipmunk had his eyes protected...and was lookin mighty stylish as well...

[Cannibal Clown]

Then the entire room is filled with boss fight music and Snake realises that he can't get out of this fight with a cinema, so he's going to have to whip out his big guns and destroy this rodent so that he can go further into the game, and get to the next level.

The chipmunk also here's this music and doesn't like it. "Damn man, this tune is cramping my style." Then the chipmunk snaps his fingers and the room is filled with blinking red and black lights. And some funky hip hop music fills the air. The rodent begins to bob his head and tap his feet. "Yeah, this is more like it."

Then the chipmunk pulls out an AK47 and starts shooting at Snake. But Snake is tooo fas6t for him and he dodges the bullets and runs behind a pillar twenty feet away.

"Where the hell did this music come from? I'm the star of this game, I should be able to choose the music for this fight."

"Hey home boy, your time is up,
you knew this gamer would never last,
'cuz now you health is almost gone,
and it's time for me to kick your @$$"

The chipmunk then starts shooting grenades at the pillar, causing Snake to jump out of his hide away.

"Sh*t, this damn hip hop rodent bastard is a pain." Snake looks down at his gun and realises that his ammo is alomost out. And he can hear the beat of the music getting louder and faster. Snake knows that that means that a turn in the game isa going to take place, and he doesn't think it sounds very good in his favor.

The chipmunk slowly grooves his way to Snake, who is now behind a tipped over table.

"Listen litle man,
you can't keep this up.
The score is 5 to 1
and I'm taking home the cup"

The chipmunk then busts the table apart with his tail. He grabs Snake and continues to bob his hread to the pimpin beat.

Snake is still to annoyed by that disturbing tune to think of anything quick, so he just hange there in the chipmunks hands, and the music is driving him insane.

"God, will someone turn off that retarded music!" Yells Snake.

the rodent pushes his shades up and smiles at Snake. "Time to die punk" The rodent opens his garlic smelling mouth, about to put Snake into his mouth and have a nice little snak, when all of the sudded...




There, try to continue on with that one.

[Sword 4 Hire]

Realizing that being digested by a 7 foot chipmunk who enjoys "the funk" would be a pretty embarassing way to die, Snake finds within himself the strength to go on...as the Pimpdaddy chipmunk opens his mouth Snake gives him raging headbutt straight in the eyes...releasing Snake from the hold. Unfortuneately it did not kill the Chipmunk...it just pissed him off...

So Snake is out of ammo...and this Funk-a-licious Chipmunk is irritated to say the least. So Snake must think fast...and find within himself his own slice of the Funk pie to overcome this threat.

"Wait..umm...put down your gun...I...err...It's time for a dance off...if you win...I'll let you eat me...but if I win...

Finish Snake's statement people...

[Rohamgh]

...then you have to let me pass through the giant flower-door to the next level, and do battle with your older brother, the Mysterious Squirrell of Doom.

Of course, the chipmunk refuses, coz he knows he can't dance for sh*t compared to this fit young human. and so he loads up his AK again.

At exactly the moment when snake thought his death was come, however, the doors behind him suddenly burst open and lo! who else do we see standing there, ready to save the day, but the Super Mouse himself! Using his Super Mouse Speed, he quickly disables Mr. Chipmunk and puts on some classical music. Snake, being the tough ol' guy that he is, is obviously pissed off that a chipmunk and a mouse get to decide the music in what is supposed to be HIS game...


hahahaha try to finish that.

[Cannibal Clown]

The chipmunk starts toward the Mouse, and gets real pissed at the stupid mouse for breaking his groove. He goes over and beats...

"Hey yo yo fool
what the hell's with that
I'll decide the music played
not some f*cking rat."

Then the chipmunk turns on his bebop groove tunes and punches the mouse in the face. "Take that you stupid pest!"
The mouse rubs its big red tipped nose and snaps his fingers to make the theme music turn back to his classical 50's crap. Then he starts singing to the tunes. "Oh hell no!" the chipmunk then goes at the mouse at full speed and kicks the mouse in the ball sack. Snapps his fingers to turn his music back on.

Snake looks at the two huge rodents going at it and is baffled by what's happening in HIS game. He takes the oportunity to grab the AK that the chipmunk dropped as they started to fight.

"Enough with this sh*t!" yells Snake as he aims the barrel at the monsters. "Take this you Disney Land bastards!" Snake then lets the bullets fly. Snakes perfect shot lands about twenty bullets in each of the animals heads. They both fall over the rail where Snake originally threw over the laundry. Then he hears the same poor little guy down below yell out"WTF?" as the beasts fall on his heade as well.

"Finally, I'm done with those two."
Snake looks down at his gun, pulls the trigger and realises that he's out of ammo with this one too. "Sh*t!" He looks to find another weapon, but there are none to be seen. He dropps the AK and heads out the door he came through. "There's no way in hell I'm going through that door over there," as he looks at the giant flower door where the Mysterious Squrill of Doom is supposed to be lurking. So he leaves out the other one he came through, hoping to find a way around.

As he exits the hanger, he is met by a woman in the shadows. Snake then with his fast reflexes goes to his gun, but then remembers that he has none. He looks back up at the woman in the shadows at the other end of the room.

"Who's there? Show yourself!"

The woman laughs in an English accent, and slowly steps forward to reveal herself.

"Oh my God it's..."
"That's right Snake it's me, you'r long time video game rival." answers the woman who is now found to be Laura Croft!

"Why are you here?"
"Well, I couldn't let you have all of the fame and fortune in the PS2 world. This counsle need a real woman to lead the way, and it's all full of sexest pigs like yourself!"
Oh come on, give me a break, you have a movie don't you, isn't that good enough. And a hell of a lot more game than me. Besides, how the heck did you get into my game, doesn't Konami have rights?"
Sorry buddy, but I'm solo now. And it's time for you to die. But to be fair, I'll give you this." Laurs then throws Snake a 9mm VS laura's assult rifle. "Now let's play." Laura fires at Snake, Snake dodges and runs down to the corridor to wis right, and continues down a long hall, trying to dodge each of laura's shots.

"Sh*t, this b*tch is too complicated for me. I gotta find a way to get through her. But it doesn't seem like she's up to listening. And that dumb broad didn't even load the gun. Stupid b*tch." Snake then turns a corner and leaps behind a crate, waiting for Croft to turn the corner.

Ther's something new to work with everyone.

[tokim021]

Snake, realizing the durability of the crate wouldn't last forever, dashes toward the same pillar he hid b4 20 minutes ago. He gathers all of the weapons and startes lobbing them at croft. Croft, confident that she will win the fight doesn't notice the weapons flying above and the ak 47 hits her rigth in the eye, knocking her over the rail that the laundry and rodents fell over...
The guard, fairly pissed with his lack of AI to notice that if he went up the stairs, he wouldn't have to deal with falling objects, continue his patrol as lara lands on him... The guard shocked, scrambles up, and gets ready to shoot...

[Cannibal Clown]

But the guard stops yelling as he notices that as Laura fell to the ground, her clothes caught the rail and tore off. All of it. The guard just stares mindlessly at Crofts buge breasts.

"Oh my god, they're beutifull!" yells the man with his eyes wider than the sun.

Laura gets Peed off and kicks the man in the sack, causing him to faint from the pain. Laura takes some of the dirty laundry and puts it on. She looks up at the rail, and glares.

"You'll pay for this Snake, you'll pay."

Snake hears the cry of the man as he took that painfull beating in the nuts. "Oh well, it's not my problem anymore. Lauras temperarily out of the picture for now, so I can get back to the mission at hand"

Snake whips out a small note pad. On it it says "Dear Snake, I ran out of milk, and my parents are comming over. I'll need you to go to the store to get me some 1% white milk and a loaf of bread. signed Otakon" Snake looks at the pad of paperand groans. "Why can't that little turd get his own damn milk. Oh well, I'm sure I'll find some milk around here sooner or later. Maybe the coller in the basement has some. I'm sure it does."

Snake gets into the closest elevator and begins to ride down to the bottom floor with his grocery bag in hand. Then the elevator stops and the dorrs wont open. "What the heck is goping on here? Why wont the elevator open?"

Add on to that. I made it a bit easier for ya guys. This time we can try to keep the story a bit more on the reality side but let's try to leave a bit of humor in. K?

[Cannibal Clown]

Sorry for double posting,but I kinda like this thread, and I want to continue on with this story. Here it goes.

Snake looks up as a light above him begins to flash red and all of the other lights turn off.

"Is the power dead?" Snake thinks to himself. "Either way, I'm stuck here for the moment, and that's all that matters right now. So how do I get out of here?" Snake looks up and sees the excape hatch. He then hits himself in the forehead in stupidity. "Of coarse, how could I be so forgetfull?" Snake reaches up and opens the hatch. He pullshimself up onto the elevator. He looks up and sees an opening seven stories up the dark shaft. He climbs to the ladder to his left and begins upward. Slowly moving up the stairs,being sure no one else is there, about to stop him in his tracks. Step after step he moves up. After about four minutes he makes it to the opening. He peeps over the door, scanning the area. There are two guards there. He takes a small nail filer and a bobby pin which he smoothly snatched from Laura before she went down the side of the rail. He takes the two objects and trows them at the two guards dead in the back of the neck. They both die instantly.
"That was easy enough. Now to figure out where i am."
Snake creeps over to an office door accross the hall to his right. He hears a voice from inside the office. Then he learns that it isn't an office at all, it's a showering room. The voice in the sound of two girls giggling behind a concrete wall around the corner. He hears them talking about how much they hate their husbands,and what they'ddo for a real nam to come along and take them away with him.

Snakes eyes grow with eagerness. He slowly moves around the corner and turns to face the women, with his eyes closed,and grin on his face, and a steady posture, he says "Hello ladies"

He hears no responce. He opens his eyes and sees a small tape recorder,with the sound of two women talking comming out of it.

"What the hell?"

Then he hears tapping of feet all around him,and the clicking of a dozen guns loading behind him. Snake raises his hand slowly innthe air. "Sh*t!" he says as he straitens upmand turns to face the many men, onlyto find that the men aren't soldiers at all,but they're all...

There, now try do do something cool with it. please. I didn't type all of that crap for nothing.