Home  Appotography.com 
advertisement Tiny Crosswords - Made by MagnetiCatGames.com
Playstation 2 Fantasy - Everything about Playstation 2 Developed on Alienware! Search games!
  Register   Mark Forums Read   Calendar   Members   FAQ   Home  

Latest NewsReviewsPreviewsFeaturesScreenshotsContact Our Staff

Welcome to the PsFantasy.com Forums.
If this is your first visit, be sure to check out the FAQ by clicking the link above. You may have to register before you can post: click the register link above to proceed. To start viewing messages, select the forum that you want to visit from the selection below.



Go Back  PsFantasy.com Forums » General Forums » General Chat

Reply
 
Thread Tools
Old May 18th, 2002, 07:10 AM   #1
Yuna
Simple and clean
 
Yuna's Avatar
 
Joined: Mar 2002
Location: Behind you! =p
Age: 37
Posts: 79
Yuna is on a distinguished road
Talking Jokes.

Anyone know any good jokes?
Ah c'mon, they're good for the soul.

A guy walks into a bar and pulls a 12 inch pianist out of his pocket. The little man starts to perform on the piano. The bartender was impressed. “Where did you get this little guy? You can make lots of money with him!”

“A genie,” the man answered. “From a lamp.”

The bartender was skeptical. “And... where is this genie now?”

“You want the lamp?” the man pulled out the lamp and gave it to the bartender.

“Wow, thanks!” The bartender rubbed the lamp and the genie came out.

“I will grant you one wish and one wish only.”

“I want a million bucks!” said the bartender.

“Your wish is my command.”

Suddenly, the entire bar starts to shake. The bartender runs outside and sees a million ducks. He curses and runs back in to the man who gave him the lamp. “What the hell is this?! I asked for a million buck, not a million ducks!!”

The man laughed. “Do you really think I wished for a 12 pianist?”
Yuna is offline   Reply With Quote
Old May 18th, 2002, 08:33 AM   #2
Infernal Mass
pariah
 
Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 2,385
Infernal Mass is on a distinguished road




A pirate walked into a bar and the bartender said, "Hey, I haven't seen you in a while. What happened, you look terrible!"
"What do you mean? I'm fine."
"What about that wooden leg? You didn't have that before."

"Well," said the pirate, "We were in a battle at sea and a cannon ball hit my leg but the Doc fixed me up, and I'm fine, really."

"Oh yeah? Well what about that hook? The last time I saw you, you had both hands."

"We were in another battle and we boarded the enemy ship. I was in a sword fight and my hand was cut off but the Doc fixed me up with the hook, and I feel great, really."

"Oh," said the bartender, "what about that eye patch? The last time you were in here you had both eyes."

"One day when we were at sea some birds were flying over the ship. I looked up and one of them crapped in me eye."

"You're kidding," said the bartender, "you couldn't have lost an eye just from some bird crap!"

"Well, I really wasn't used to the hook yet."
__________________

Infernal Mass is offline   Reply With Quote
Old May 19th, 2002, 12:38 AM   #3
inamaize
Registered User
 
inamaize's Avatar
 
Joined: May 2002
Age: 39
Posts: 39
inamaize is on a distinguished road
haha.. ok.

i got a fair amount jokes, but 98% contain sexual or expilcit language. so i wanna get 'ok' before i post em.
inamaize is offline   Reply With Quote
Old May 19th, 2002, 11:53 PM   #4
Frozen
Dante May Cry
 
Frozen's Avatar
 
Joined: May 2002
Location: America's Guard of Honor: 82nd Airborne Division
Age: 40
Posts: 1,523
Frozen is on a distinguished road
That's a very nice idea Yuna! However, know no jokes in English. It ain't my first language.
__________________

Frozen is offline   Reply With Quote
Old May 20th, 2002, 02:42 AM   #5
inamaize
Registered User
 
inamaize's Avatar
 
Joined: May 2002
Age: 39
Posts: 39
inamaize is on a distinguished road
^^ wat bout joke content ?
inamaize is offline   Reply With Quote
Old May 20th, 2002, 02:50 AM   #6
Frozen
Dante May Cry
 
Frozen's Avatar
 
Joined: May 2002
Location: America's Guard of Honor: 82nd Airborne Division
Age: 40
Posts: 1,523
Frozen is on a distinguished road
You should go ahead
__________________

Frozen is offline   Reply With Quote
Old May 20th, 2002, 02:58 AM   #7
inamaize
Registered User
 
inamaize's Avatar
 
Joined: May 2002
Age: 39
Posts: 39
inamaize is on a distinguished road
ok. 1 a day.. ? (BTW blame frozen for this )

theres 3 girls walkin along the street as they turn and go into the bar.
as they enter the subject of speech turns to sex.

the first girl says as she sits down "well, my boyfriend can get his whole hand in there!"

second girl scoffs "thats nothing, my guy can go all the way up to his ELBOW!!!!"

the third girl just smiles with a cheeky grin as she slides down the bar stool.
inamaize is offline   Reply With Quote
Old May 20th, 2002, 03:06 AM   #8
Frozen
Dante May Cry
 
Frozen's Avatar
 
Joined: May 2002
Location: America's Guard of Honor: 82nd Airborne Division
Age: 40
Posts: 1,523
Frozen is on a distinguished road
ha ha ha ha ha ha ha


That ain't that bad compared to some of the jokes I've heard in spanish. But they would not come out good if I translated them......

(runs away before he gets his ass kicked)
__________________

Frozen is offline   Reply With Quote
Old May 20th, 2002, 03:09 AM   #9
inamaize
Registered User
 
inamaize's Avatar
 
Joined: May 2002
Age: 39
Posts: 39
inamaize is on a distinguished road
haha.. no thats not rude. just topic matter. they will get worse dont worry
inamaize is offline   Reply With Quote
Old May 20th, 2002, 12:33 PM   #10
Frozen
Dante May Cry
 
Frozen's Avatar
 
Joined: May 2002
Location: America's Guard of Honor: 82nd Airborne Division
Age: 40
Posts: 1,523
Frozen is on a distinguished road
Ha ha ha. This ain't a joke, but something funny a friend of mine sent me

https://freehost11.websamba.com/Kraus...ook_Hungry.jpg
__________________

Frozen is offline   Reply With Quote
Old May 20th, 2002, 07:15 PM   #11
Infernal Mass
pariah
 
Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 2,385
Infernal Mass is on a distinguished road
44 things to do in a movie theater


===========================

1. Throw popcorn in the air and yell, "It's snowing!"
2. Go, "Oooooh..." whenever anyone kisses.
3. Clap when the good guy gets killed.
3. Starting wheezing and ask the person next to you if you can have some Juicy Fruits for you asthma.
4. During the previews, yell, "Can you fast-forward it?"
5. Whenever the bad guy is doing something devious, say, "Watch out!"
6. Laugh very loudly at all the corny jokes.
7. Tell the man selling popcorn that the bathroom is flooding.
8. Yell out what is going to happen.
9. Wear a cape and when its your turn to get popcorn yell, "I'm Batman! Hahaha!" and run away.
10. Say that they cannot sit next to you because you invisible friend already is.
11. Dress for every movie as if it were the Rocky Horror Picture Show.
12. Use empty chairs next to you as catapults with candy. Aim at specific people behind you and see if you can hit anyone in the back row.
13. Wear 3d glasses. Complain loudly how bad the effect are.
14. Bring a flashlight. In the middle of the film do shadow puppets on the ceiling.
15. Bring a remote control. Complain that you can't change the channel.
16. Run out of the theater screaming, "Oh my goodness, I forgot, Webster is on now!"
17. Every time a character's name is mentioned do the Richmeister. (for a guy named Nick say, the Nickmeister, the Nickenator, Nickarino...)
18. Bring a beach ball. Toss it around.
19. Try to start a wave.
20. Become a bookie. Take bets on who will die first.
21. Sit in the back and throw eggs at the projection window.
22. Every time someone curses cover your ears and scream, "No profanity!"
23. Sing with the theme music.
24. Whenever a fat guy comes in the movie, stand up and do the truffle shuffle. Include the sound effects.
25. At the ticket booth, request tickets for really old movies, "I'll have two tickets for the Goonies."
26. Throw spit wads on the screen. Try throwing them on the upper part of the screen so they can't get scraped off.
27. Ask your neighbor if Mr. T. is in the movie, and ask often.
28. Point a laser pointer at the screen. Give the audience a laser light show.
29. Bring a book and a bright light. Start reading the book with the light on. When someone asks you to turn out the light, yell, "Shh, I'm trying to read!"
30. Use binoculars. Stare at the audience rather than the movie.
31. Bring a Nintendo laser gun. Shoot at the screen.
32. Clap loudly every time a person walks into the theater late.
33. When someone kicks the back of your chair, scream, "Ahhh, whiplash!"
34. Ask what the theater's return policy on popcorn is.
35. Ask the person at the ticket window, "Do you work here?"
36. Start a standing ovation at the end of the movie.
37. Quote all dialogue 4 seconds after it is said on the screen.
38. Do the running man every time a rap song is played.
39. Every time there is a gun shot scream, "Hit the floor!", jump on the floor, and cover your head.
40. Wear one of those "cat in the hat" top hats.
41. Get 3 people together and act like you are Crow, Tom Servo, and Joel from Mystery Science Theater 3000.
42. Before the movie starts, stand up, and imitate the Truth commercial saying, "The makers of this film couldn't find any way to make their characters rebellious, rockin`, or cool so instead, they'll just smoke."
43. When someone walks by you in the aisle scream, "Ahhhhhh! Bad Touch!"
44. When you are choosing a seat point at someone and say loudly, "I don't want to sit next to that guy, he smells funny!"
Infernal Mass is offline   Reply With Quote
Old May 20th, 2002, 07:23 PM   #12
Harry
Administrator
 
Harry's Avatar
 
Joined: Jan 2002
Location: Here
Posts: 1,222
Harry has much to be proud ofHarry has much to be proud ofHarry has much to be proud ofHarry has much to be proud ofHarry has much to be proud ofHarry has much to be proud ofHarry has much to be proud ofHarry has much to be proud ofHarry has much to be proud ofHarry has much to be proud of
No sexual or explicit language at all. Yuo don't want AOL to ban us right? There are children around. Next time, just ask to moderators, not members.
Harry is offline   Reply With Quote
Old May 21st, 2002, 02:33 AM   #13
Frozen
Dante May Cry
 
Frozen's Avatar
 
Joined: May 2002
Location: America's Guard of Honor: 82nd Airborne Division
Age: 40
Posts: 1,523
Frozen is on a distinguished road
(UGH )

I was to blame after all. I use to hang in other forums without censoring, so I guess I got the bad habbit and I appologise for that.

I laughed like 3 times for each one of the 44 (well, actually like for each of 30, cuz english ain't my first language so I didn't understand some of them )
__________________

Frozen is offline   Reply With Quote
Old May 21st, 2002, 07:15 PM   #14
Beretta55
Reached for the sky
 
Beretta55's Avatar
 
Joined: May 2002
Location: The road less traveled
Age: 34
Posts: 2,465
Beretta55 is on a distinguished road
i know a your mama joke and i dont mean to diss anybody okay here i go.
your mama so dumb she got hit by a parked car.
your mama so fat when she sat on a rainbow skittles poped out.
your mama so fat when i heard her beeber go off i said she is backing up.
__________________
Beretta55 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old May 22nd, 2002, 03:27 AM   #15
inamaize
Registered User
 
inamaize's Avatar
 
Joined: May 2002
Age: 39
Posts: 39
inamaize is on a distinguished road
yo mama jokes re pretty lame, but the 2 decent ones are;

Yo mama is so fat, that when she gets outta bed, she gets out on BOTH sides,

and finally, Yo mama is so fat, that when she walks down the street, people think "damn shes fat".
<last one you hafta hear voice tone and emphasis to be funny. its more of a mockery of all yo mama jokes, hence the reason i made it up<
inamaize is offline   Reply With Quote
Old May 23rd, 2002, 11:36 AM   #16
007_JamesBond
Angel of Darkness
 
007_JamesBond's Avatar
 
Joined: Jan 2002
Location: Everywhere, but then again nowhere
Age: 38
Posts: 1,692
007_JamesBond is on a distinguished road
nothing explicit huh alright then I was told this one yesterday

a man was camping in the forest and got lost, when he was wondering around the forest he happened to find a little house, he went up and knocked on the door, a little chineese man comes to the door, the man asks him if he could have some food and a good place to stay the night, the old man says ok but you cant sleep with my young grand daughter for if you do 3 ancient chineese torutures will be performed to you, ok but as the man enters the house and sees the young girl, he wants her

later that night the young man creeps out of bed and sneeks into the room of the girl, but the man checks the old man is asleep

he does his thing and goes back to bed, when he wakes he notices a 100 lb rock on his chest, he thinks nothing of it but on the rock it says torture 1 rock on chest, he pick it up and proceeds to throw it out the window, he gets about half way there and throws it out, but as he does he notices that there is writting on his hand, it reads torture 2 right nut attached to rock

the man then runs to the window and gets ready to jump out but before he does he sees writting above the window and it reads torture 3 left nut attached to bed post
__________________
Vini Vidi Vici

victory comes to those who want it the most

i am only mearly surviving
007_JamesBond is offline   Reply With Quote
Old May 23rd, 2002, 01:49 PM   #17
RufusFF7
Member
 
RufusFF7's Avatar
 
Joined: May 2002
Location: Shinra HQ
Age: 38
Posts: 192
RufusFF7 is on a distinguished road
Here is a really harsh joke about Jews... So if your a Jew please don't read it.









What's the difference between a jew and a pizza?

Punchline: The pizza doesn't scream when you throw it in the oven!


Oh my that's harsh.... don't kill me ppl. haha
__________________
FF7:The greatest game ever made!

AKA: The Onion Knight.
RufusFF7 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old May 23rd, 2002, 04:35 PM   #18
Beretta55
Reached for the sky
 
Beretta55's Avatar
 
Joined: May 2002
Location: The road less traveled
Age: 34
Posts: 2,465
Beretta55 is on a distinguished road
heres some more your mama jokes.
your mama so fat when she put on a red shrit everybody said koolaid.
your mama so fat when she saw a speeding bus go by she said hey catch the twinke.
your mama so poor that when i sat on her couch a ****roach said hey this is my side b****
__________________
Beretta55 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old Jun 13th, 2002, 11:50 PM   #19
Indrid Cold
Banned
 
Joined: Jun 2002
Location: Zapadocesky Czech Republic
Age: 41
Posts: 298
Indrid Cold is on a distinguished road
lol... good one!
Indrid Cold is offline   Reply With Quote
Old Jul 11th, 2002, 01:42 AM   #20
Friza
Registered User
 
Friza's Avatar
 
Joined: May 2002
Location: Within the darkness of men souls.
Age: 45
Posts: 37
Friza is on a distinguished road
Ok I have a pretty stupid and lame joke here.

A man is walking thru the desert and finds a lamp. He picks it up and decides to rub it. As soon as he does a jenie pops out. The jenie looks at him and saies, "Thanks." Then he starts to walk off. The man catches up to him and saies, "Wait don't I get three wishes?" The jenie looks back at him and saies, "Buddy If I had the power to Grant wishes Do you think I would have been stuck in that d@## bottle?"

Here's anouther lame one.

this young couple gets married and goes to carnival. When they do the young man sees a helicopter and goes over to it. "I want to ride that." He saies. His wife comes over. "But Joseph, IT cost 10 dollars and 10 dollars is 10 dollars." She saies. He nodds his head and goes on. This happens every year for the next 60 years. Again on their 60th anniversy they go to the carvinal and Joseph goes to the helicopter. "I want to ride that. And darling I'm an old man I may never get another chance." He saies. "Yes dear, but it is 10 dollars and 10 dollars is 10 dollars." She saies. The pilot looks at them. "I'll tell you what folks. If you can sit in here and not say a word or make any noise while I fly I'll let you ride for free." He saies. They nod their heads and get in. The pilot takes off and performs some of the most daring and dangerous stunts he can think of . But the elderly couple don't say a word. When he lands he gets out. The old man steps out behind him. "I thought for sure you was going to say something." He said. "Well I almost did when my wife fell out, but 10 dollars is 10 dollars." Joseph said.
Friza is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Ha ha lets see how funny you are! Virtualeclipse General Chat 13 Jul 18th, 2003 09:22 PM
The Funniest Thing I Heard Was....... Kimahri General Chat 23 Apr 7th, 2003 02:00 PM
New Drawings!!!!! not real drawings, kinda jokes DSgamer Creativity Forum 14 Feb 17th, 2003 03:53 PM
Jokes at the telephone Frozen General Chat 10 Sep 24th, 2002 06:44 PM
Jokes JC Denton General Chat 50 Mar 7th, 2002 07:12 PM

All times are GMT -5. The time now is 09:22 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.10
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.

Playstation 2 Fantasy - Everything About Playstation 2 Ps2Fantasy.com | News | Games | Forums | Newsletter | Chat | Privacy Policy | Advertise With Us | Contact Us
Copyright ©2001-2014 MagnetiCat.com. All rights reserved. All trademarks and trade names are properties of their respective owners.

X vBulletin 3.8.10 Debug Information
  • Page Generation 0.11915 seconds
  • Memory Usage 2,645KB
  • Queries Executed 10 (?)
More Information
Template Usage:
  • (1)SHOWTHREAD
  • (1)ad_footer_end
  • (1)ad_footer_start
  • (1)ad_header_end
  • (1)ad_header_logo
  • (1)ad_navbar_below
  • (1)ad_showthread_beforeqr
  • (1)ad_showthread_firstpost
  • (1)ad_showthread_firstpost_sig
  • (1)ad_showthread_firstpost_start
  • (1)footer
  • (1)forumjump
  • (1)forumrules
  • (1)gobutton
  • (1)header
  • (1)headinclude
  • (1)navbar
  • (3)navbar_link
  • (21)option
  • (1)pagenav
  • (1)pagenav_curpage
  • (2)pagenav_pagelink
  • (20)postbit_legacy
  • (20)postbit_onlinestatus
  • (29)postbit_reputation
  • (20)postbit_wrapper
  • (4)showthread_bookmarksite
  • (5)showthread_similarthreadbit
  • (1)showthread_similarthreads
  • (1)spacer_close
  • (1)spacer_open
  • (1)tagbit_wrapper 

Phrase Groups Available:
  • global
  • inlinemod
  • postbit
  • posting
  • reputationlevel
  • showthread
Included Files:
  • ./showthread.php
  • ./global.php
  • ./includes/init.php
  • ./includes/class_core.php
  • ./includes/config.php
  • ./includes/functions.php
  • ./includes/class_datastore.php
  • ./includes/datastore/datastore_cache.php
  • ./includes/class_hook.php
  • ./includes/functions_cat_cfgeoblock.php
  • ./includes/functions_cat_edittime.php
  • ./includes/adminfunctions.php
  • ./includes/functions_bigthree.php
  • ./includes/class_postbit.php
  • ./includes/class_bbcode.php
  • ./includes/functions_reputation.php 

Hooks Called:
  • init_startup
  • cache_permissions
  • fetch_threadinfo_query
  • fetch_threadinfo
  • fetch_foruminfo
  • style_fetch
  • cache_templates
  • global_start
  • parse_templates
  • global_setup_complete
  • showthread_start
  • showthread_getinfo
  • forumjump
  • showthread_post_start
  • showthread_query_postids
  • showthread_query
  • bbcode_fetch_tags
  • bbcode_create
  • showthread_postbit_create
  • postbit_factory
  • postbit_display_start
  • fetch_musername
  • reputation_image
  • postbit_imicons
  • bbcode_parse_start
  • bbcode_parse_complete_precache
  • bbcode_parse_complete
  • postbit_display_complete
  • pagenav_page
  • pagenav_complete
  • tag_fetchbit_complete
  • showthread_similarthread_query
  • showthread_similarthreadbit
  • forumrules
  • showthread_bookmarkbit
  • navbits
  • navbits_complete
  • showthread_complete