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[Pu the Owl]

Thanks. It's a long time we knew it was coming, so the shock wasn't great. It's just bad to think about some things. But there are always reflections to be made that aren't easy to digest in moments like these.

[Faile]

I'm so sorry for your loss. I don't know what to say. Words seem useless when placed against life and all it is; silly distractions. You're in my thoughts.

[Redpyramidhead]

I am so sorry to hear Pu. My deepest condolensces to you and your family during this hard time. My grandmother passed away this past March and it was very hard on all of us. Don't be dissallusioned if it doesn't hit you right away. You will mourn in your own way when the time is right. My heart goes out to you.

[Pu the Owl]

Thanks. It doesn't feel real, but it's very natural at the same time. I guess the way you go through the mourning process depends on the kind of relationship you used to have with the deceased person. So... looks like I don't really care from the outside. I'm probably more rational than emotional about it than most people, considering the kind of relationship we used to have in our family.

[Beretta55]

Sorry to hear of your loss Pu. Everybody mourns differently some cry it out and others don't and just go with things. I also personally wouldn't be concerned with looking like you don't care; I've reacted the same way to deaths all my life. I just accept the loss and try to move on. I also don't know what I'm trying to say; at 5 AM I get wordy and don't make a lot of sense so just ignore me Pu.

As for what I'm thinking, well that's a mixed bag. Things are decent I guess, even though my thoughts don't seem to reflect the change. I try not to pay too much mind to what I think about anyway, it hardly does me any favors.

[REChick14]

Well many things are on my mind at the moment.. Lately I feel like im not a good enough person. I try to my best to be a person everyone enjoys being around. Im used to being happy most of the time. It made me happy to put someone else in a better mood. Im not like my sisters who had boyfriends at an early age. Im not used to guys coming up to me. Im known as the friend type I guess you could say. I used to not mind it so much. I was fine with being single. I thought I finally found someone who could love me and that made me feel in a way that I cant even put into words. I gave everything I had to be caring and supportive but I guess it wasnt enough. It hurts to find out that the person you loved, doesnt have the same feelings back. It hurts to go from saying I love you to this person then go straight to being just friends. It hurts to not being able to confide with my own sisters about this since I've hid this from my family. It hurts going to bed every night and crying till I fall asleep. It hurts trying to make myself hate him but I cant. I constantly ask myself what I did wrong. I loved him and still do. I still wait for the day that I know will never come when he wants to be with me again. I know I have to move on but its hard. Im just trying to go day by day

[Pu the Owl]

^ Awww *hugs*

It's not always a question about what you did wrong, you know. Sometimes things just don't work out as you were hoping, and of course feeling it's your fault is very natural. But it's not the truth. It's not always a matter of doing wrong or right. I'm sure you don't have to torture yourself like that over it. One day you'll find there is actually somebody that will be able to give you feel those special feelings again, but maybe without many of these insecurities you're experiencing right now.

[Berserker]

Sad to hear that REchick14!

Been smoking too much cigarettes lately (after quit smoking some years back), first only when I was having a drink now it's everyday after work one cigarette... it's nowhere near the amount I used to smoke....but I need to totally quit again. Starting today....

[Hylas]

Originally Posted by Berserker

Been smoking too much cigarettes lately (after quit smoking some years back), first only when I was having a drink now it's everyday after work one cigarette... it's nowhere near the amount I used to smoke....but I need to totally quit again. Starting today....

Yeah smoking's bad, because people often start saying they're smoking just few cigarettes, a cigarette or two, and after a little time they end smoking 10 or more

Social smoking is also very wrong, because you smoke depending on your social life, so you feel like you have to, everytime you go out for a drink, or everytime you are with your freinds, even if you wouldn't normally smoke in these cases.

[Berserker]

Agreed, haven't smoked for the last 36 hours...no probz. Allthough I know for sure that even when totally stopped I'll still have a cigarette with a beer/vodka. I only have a few drinks every two weeks or so, but it's just part of the relaxing experience of having a drink for me.

I like the eastern philosphy about the whole balance thing. Stress is the biggest killer around, if an occasional drink and smoke helps me relief the tension and release some built up stress from work/school/life I'll take the (in my opinion) smaller side effects for granted. Maybe I'm wrong but it works for me, after a night like that I feel rejuvenated and ready to cope with anything they throw at me. It's probably just one of my ways of dealing with stress (the others are kickboxing and fitness...so at least they're healthy).

[Berserker]

My thoughts are with the people that live in New Orleans and surrounding areas....

[Berserker]

Hope I get a reply soon about the go or no-go concerning my project.

[Pu the Owl]

People always judging people without even knowing them. Just to fill their mouths with something and to pass the time. What the hell...

[Piggle_humsy]

Thinking about how amazingly good my life is lately and how I don't understand why I feel so low and depressed.

[Redpyramidhead]

Originally Posted by Piggle_humsy

Thinking about how amazingly good my life is lately and how I don't understand why I feel so low and depressed.

sometimes it can be as simple as the matter of just letting yourself take things lightly and be in a better mood... I know it sounds odd or overly simplistic but... just LET yourself enjoy how good life is

RED

[Berserker]

Busy weeks ahead and I'm already so friggin' tired, I need more sunlight!

[Pu the Owl]

I haven't been around much lately *shame* I've been working on something, which I now completed. The editing of my father's book. Last thing I had to do, after all the editing of the original manuscript, which was in bad shape and had some parts missing and lots of things to fix here and there, was the cover. Now it's all done, and the book's ready for sale!

Huzzah!

PS: I know it's in Italian, it's just to give you an idea...

[Redpyramidhead]

Originally Posted by Hylas

If I have to write what I am thinking, I stop thinking about that and start thinking about the fact I have to write what I was thinking before writing. I'm not into the stream of consciousness type of writing. Does this make any sense to you?

LOL... I run into the same thing. The question is "What are you thinking right now?" Well... several things... actually... hehe.

And also the word association thread... I mean you are supposed to think of the first word that comes to mind... but I'm not always sure I like that one.

[Berserker]

Originally Posted by Pu the Owl

I haven't been around much lately *shame* I've been working on something, which I now completed. The editing of my father's book. Last thing I had to do, after all the editing of the original manuscript, which was in bad shape and had some parts missing and lots of things to fix here and there, was the cover. Now it's all done, and the book's ready for sale!

Huzzah!

PS: I know it's in Italian, it's just to give you an idea...

Awesome! It's a great excuse if you're working on something that cool. Could you tell us some more about it? What's the story about, are there more books etc.

[Pu the Owl]

Summing it up, the story of the book is very minimal and doesn't sound very original. It's the story of a man, whose purpose in life changes with the passing of time, as he becomes more and more mature and responsible about many things: a marriage, some extra-marital affair, a work he doesn't like and a family that doesn't support or understands him, a battle with a disease, etc. As he becomes more aware of himself and of the people around him, he also changes his view on fate and fortune, that are something he's afraid of and doesn't really understand at the beginning, and becomes able and confident to control and shape into happiness towards the end. That's more or less about it.

More books? Well, yes and no. There are more writings, but I'm not sure some of them are part of a single and complete work. I'll have to look into them one of these days and see if they can be collected into a something, somehow. But could be they're all indipendent and unfinished works. In that case, I'll have to leave them or think of something to arrange them.