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Mar 15th, 2003, 08:28 PM | #1 |
Registered User
Joined: Mar 2003
Posts: 98
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The Funniest Thing I Heard Was.......
What was the funniest thing you ever heard, or of been told about. It could be from a movie or book. I want a little humor in my life, so make me laugh.
Ive never heard anything funny yet, except for Austin Powers. |
Mar 15th, 2003, 08:36 PM | #2 |
Useless Oracle™
Joined: Jan 2002
Location: Everywhere
Posts: 5,136
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It is not the funniest thing I've ever seen or heard, but it's quite funny to look at:
https://digilander.libero.it/zoein/kitty.jpg I'll think of something better... later... |
Mar 16th, 2003, 12:15 AM | #3 |
here and there
Joined: Dec 2002
Location: ps2f, where else?
Age: 35
Posts: 1,347
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the funniest thing i heard was a long time ago, these guys rented a hotel while they were on a trip. they left for a while and when they came back they found all their stuff moved around, nothing was missing though. then when they went back home, they developed their camera's film a week later and found pictures of the ppl who worked at the hotel shoving their toothbrushes up their butts. i read it on cnn a long time ago
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Mar 16th, 2003, 02:19 PM | #4 |
The One & Only
Joined: Dec 2002
Location: Being Reborn
Age: 41
Posts: 2,132
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An email someone sent me...
EVER WONDER...
...why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin? ...why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed? ...why you don't ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"? ...why "abbreviated" is such a long word? ...why doctors call what they do "practice"? ...why you have to click on "Start" to stop Windows 98? ...why lemon juice is made with artificial flavour, while dishwashing liquid is made with real lemons? ...why the man who invests all your money is called a broker? ...why there isn't mouse-flavoured cat food? ...who tastes dog food when it has a "new & improved" flavour? ...why Noah didn't swat those two mosquitoes? ...why they sterilize the needle for lethal injections? ...why they don't make the whole plane out of the material used for the indestructible black box ? ...why sheep don't shrink when it rains? ...why they are called apartments when they are all stuck together? ...if con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress? ...why they call the airport "the terminal" if flying is so safe? >AND... > >In case you need further proof that the human race is doomed because of >stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods... > >On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. (darn, and that's the >only time I have to work on my hair). > >On a bag of Fritos: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. >Details inside. (the shoplifter special?) > >On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (and that >would be how???....) > >On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (but, >it's "just" a suggestion). > >On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside >down." (well...duh, a bit late, huh)! > >On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating." > (...and you thought????...) > >On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (but >wouldn't this save me more time?) > >On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate >Machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce >the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those >5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.) > >On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (and...I'm taking >this because???....) > >On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." >(as opposed to...what?) > > >On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." >(now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.) > >On Sainsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (talk about a news >flash!) > >On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat >nuts." (Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?) > >I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one: On a >child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you >to fly." > >On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or >genitals." (...was there a lot of this happening somewhere?) Piggle x x x x
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Mar 16th, 2003, 02:32 PM | #5 |
Registered User
Joined: Mar 2003
Posts: 98
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*tears of laughter* Oh those are funny, including Fortune's cat thing. Man I have been waiting to laugh like that in a long time. I'll try to find something funny on the net also. |
Mar 16th, 2003, 02:53 PM | #6 |
Extinct.
Joined: Nov 2002
Age: 37
Posts: 1,185
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https://www.imagestation.com/picture/...d/fc938534.jpg
~its really huge, but let it load up. https://starterupsteve.servepics.com:...terghogday.jpg ~hehe gopher... https://starterupsteve.servepics.com:...er_support.jpg ~yep, its true https://starterupsteve.servepics.com:...Battleship.jpg ~Canada joins the War Against Terrorism https://starterupsteve.servepics.com:...nobinladen.jpg ~So does the Soprano Family. https://starterupsteve.servepics.com:.../wankmeoff.jpg ~Whos says "Countdown" is dull?! https://starterupsteve.servepics.com:...unny4/4094.jpg Anyone know what these are and where to get em?! If anything here is too "rude" or not allowed, just tell me or break the link. |
Mar 16th, 2003, 03:10 PM | #7 |
EVA 00 Pilot
Joined: Jan 2002
Location: NERV
Age: 41
Posts: 2,239
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ROFL mark0! Some of these pics are really amazing!
The kitties' one is also freakin' awesome! |
Mar 16th, 2003, 03:27 PM | #8 |
.illustrated.thingy.
Joined: Mar 2002
Location: pixel-land
Age: 37
Posts: 2,576
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i've been reading a few web comics recently... and some of these are pretty funny ... fo your viewing pleasure i'll mention the 5 sites that I often visit to laugh:
www.engrish.com - aka. "japlish" - bad english from japan mainly, some is funny, some is just strange (not really a webcomic though) www.penny-arcade.com - one of the more established webcomics... pretty sure many of you will know it. www.nuklearpower.com - home of "8-bit theatre", the FF1 parody https://ctrlaltdel-online.com - new, fresh and funny www.pluggedcomic.com - just finshed ... I liked their basic but cute style, plus this made me laugh for some reason: "pee pee" ^_^ uh... anyways, away from the computerness, Monty Python, the Simpsons, Austin Powers and Red Dwarf make me laugh no matter how many times I see them yes... I have simple tastes...
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Mar 16th, 2003, 07:51 PM | #9 |
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Age: 38
Posts: 2,712
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Funniest movie I saw was probablt Robin Hood: Men in Tights, it's the one with Dave Chapelle and Mel Brooks. Been a while since I've seen it, my favorite part is when Robin Hood finds Achu. I like how whenever anyone says his name they say "bless you". It looks like Army of Darkness is very funny, I've only seen the first 30 mins and the last five.
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Mar 16th, 2003, 07:57 PM | #10 |
Cream Puff
Joined: Jan 2002
Location: Stevens Point, Wisconsin
Age: 38
Posts: 2,713
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Any Kevin Smith movie.
Kevin Smith (aka Silent Bob) has some of the funniest scripts. Mall Rats, Dogma, Chasing Amy, Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back. They are all good.
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Mar 17th, 2003, 05:39 AM | #11 | ||
Enemy or Ally?
Joined: Jan 2002
Posts: 4,023
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Quote:
Quote:
EDIT: https://starterupsteve.servepics.com:...unny4/4094.jpg mark0: These cute little guys are called Domo-kun and they were really popular in the US around 2000/2001 especially in New York. Domo-kun originally from Japan, started off as the "spokesperson" for a TV ad (I think) and it quickly became a popular "icon" in Japan. I'm not sure where to get these guys, but you can try Ebay.
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"You're a louse Roger Smith" ~ R. Dorothy Wayneright "Have a little priest" ~ Mrs. Lovett "Grim Reaper, you could not get the women? What was the problem? Didn't you reap them with your grim reaping equipment?" "I tried that but the women, they all know hopscotch" ~ Eddie Izzard You Can Help |
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Mar 17th, 2003, 05:42 AM | #12 |
Lost Hero
Joined: Mar 2003
Location: California... For now...
Age: 40
Posts: 225
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Thats my favorite parody movie. "We're men... We're men in tiii-ights... We roam around the forest looking for fights..." "Fights!" "Fights" *Pow* "We're men... We're men in tiii-ights... Call us pansies and we'll put out your lights!"
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Mar 17th, 2003, 06:01 AM | #13 |
Reached for the sky
Joined: May 2002
Location: The road less traveled
Age: 34
Posts: 2,465
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https://www.millaj.net/rem/files/0837.jpg
not the funniest thing i have ever seen but i like it and robin hood: men in tight's is a awsome movie.
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Mar 17th, 2003, 06:05 AM | #14 |
Enemy or Ally?
Joined: Jan 2002
Posts: 4,023
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Omg, Beretta! That's a cool pic!
One movie I thought was pretty funny also (which may be stupid to a lot of people) is "Dracula: Dead and Loving It", also by Mel Brookes. I also like the one Monty Python movie, though I haven't seen it for a long time.
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"You're a louse Roger Smith" ~ R. Dorothy Wayneright "Have a little priest" ~ Mrs. Lovett "Grim Reaper, you could not get the women? What was the problem? Didn't you reap them with your grim reaping equipment?" "I tried that but the women, they all know hopscotch" ~ Eddie Izzard You Can Help |
Mar 17th, 2003, 06:22 AM | #15 | |
The One & Only
Joined: Dec 2002
Location: Being Reborn
Age: 41
Posts: 2,132
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Quote:
Love Kevin Smith! Have all films and Movie posters! yey! Snoochie boochie! Piggle x x x x p.s You should Check out Emo Philips Quotes, He's so funny!
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Mar 17th, 2003, 11:00 AM | #16 |
Extinct.
Joined: Nov 2002
Age: 37
Posts: 1,185
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Clerks is a great film, saw it a little while back. That Adult video his friend watched... lol! How Gross! And the Snowball!!! lol.
Thanks for the info Meryl, Thanks a lot actually |
Mar 17th, 2003, 11:47 AM | #17 | |
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Age: 38
Posts: 2,712
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Quote:
Spoiler: show |
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Mar 17th, 2003, 04:16 PM | #18 | |
.illustrated.thingy.
Joined: Mar 2002
Location: pixel-land
Age: 37
Posts: 2,576
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Quote:
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Mar 19th, 2003, 04:55 AM | #19 | |||
Enemy or Ally?
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Posts: 4,023
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Quote:
Quote:
Quote:
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"You're a louse Roger Smith" ~ R. Dorothy Wayneright "Have a little priest" ~ Mrs. Lovett "Grim Reaper, you could not get the women? What was the problem? Didn't you reap them with your grim reaping equipment?" "I tried that but the women, they all know hopscotch" ~ Eddie Izzard You Can Help |
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Mar 19th, 2003, 05:00 PM | #20 |
Talk to the hand
Joined: Nov 2002
Location: Manchester
Posts: 3,520
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funniest thing ive seen is-
French rifle, never fired, dropped once. -EBAY.
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