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May 27th, 2005, 07:28 PM | #1 |
just a rolling stone
Joined: Apr 2002
Location: of what?
Posts: 1,561
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Need some advice, guys...
Well, I've been coming to this board for a few years now, and throughout the stime span I have made many precious friendships. Because of these friendships, and also by the simple notion of my being here and yours, too, I think many of you know me a little more intimately now than back in 2002, when I first joined. It is because of this that I think many of you here know how I can be such an, oh, I don't know... WORRYWART!!
I am ever unduly worrying about this and that to the point where I can't sleep, eat, think about anything else, and so on. Now, why am I posting this? Because I am at a point in my life were I am worried and distressed beyond belief! Why? This is the year where I must decide which university I want to go. I know this may not seem like a big deal to some, but if you know me even a little, then you probably understand that it is for me. I remember I used to rant just about everyday about my crappy high school days. When it passed, I came and ranted about the extensive work load of college and how I still didn't like school. In short, you all got to know of my extreme dislike for school and came to know that the main reasons for me sticking with it where two: 1.) My parents - More than twice I have expressed my sincere value and care for my parents. More than twice I have told about their abundant appreciation of school, and more than twice I have admitted to you that going to school and graduating from a good university is the way I feel I will finally make them proud. And you know how "making my parents proud" is my lifelong dream. 2.) I am a sucker. I have no "special" abilities for anything. Nothing! I'm not good at anything naturally, meaning that only by studying am I "good" at X, Y, or Z. Knowing this, I know that if I don't go to school, I will become a big nobody, lost and maltreated by life because of my lack of special skills and ability. So I know that even though I don't like it, I have to. My worry now is that I don't really know where I want to go. Well, I digress; I do know. In mind, I have always kept these three universities: Univeristy of California Berkeley, University of California Los Angeles and the University of Southern California (USC, which has been dubbed "University of Spoiled Children"). The first two are (relatively good) public schools in California, one being in the south where I live (LA) and the other in the north (Berkeley). Getting into either of these two would be more than great. The latter, though, is a private school, meaning that I would need a whole lotta $$$ to survive. Money I just don't have. It had always been my dream, but I'm giving up on it, seeing as the ones who go there are the rich boys and girls sporting Abercrombie and Fitch and carrying wads of cash in their purses. It's too much for me. So, I have decided on these universities, but now I am (horribly) worrying about these two things: 1.) That I won't get into any of them and 2.) That I was just informed I need to declare a major... and I have NO idea whatsoever of what I want to do! I just think, "I'm not smart enough" and "My grades are probably not good enough" and "Why would they pick someone dumb with dumby grades, while they can choose Mr. X?" I'm going crazy with self-doubt. And then I have to write an essay... and I think: "What if I write crap? What if I completely mess up on the syntax!!" And then the even bigger problem: God, I do NOT know what I want to do. Some of you know my extreme heart-felt desire to help people. I love it. I would LOVE to sit down with them and discuss any problems they may be undergoing. So for the longest time I considered going into psychology, either clinical/therapeudic psychology or medical psychiatry (just in case I want people to think I'm smart). So, okay: I took an introductory psychology class this semester and it sucked major ass! Sooo boring! The professor taught straight from the book. I never even went after the second week! I just read the text, went and took the exams. What crap. Total disillusioment right there. I have also always had this (secret) want to have my own magazine (which, of course, you will ALL subscribe to, right?!). But as writing books, I think that no one will buy them. What if no one likes my magazine? What if I get all poor and starve to death? Yes, I admit that English is my strong point. I can write okay, I guess, but then I see other's writing and I realize mine is mediocre. It's true, in my head I am always fighting monsters, escaping from jail cells, casting spells, saving the world, and what not and because of this, some have suggested that I pledge myself a writer and wing it. With hope, of course. But, omigod... what if I fail? (Yes, by now my fear of failure is clearer than the polluted water of SoCal.) I need to pick... ASAP because next Fall, I must double on classes pertaining to that major. But I am so confused... and sad because I feel like I won't get into a good university... and to end up in a CalState would just prove that I did fail... again. I already fucked up royally in HS; I can't do it again, guys. My heart sinks to think I won't get into the unis. I want. It sinks. Me... a psychologist giving people therapy, trying to help, a magazine editor (owner :p) writing a variety of things so as to engulf a variety of ages, or an author writing the crazy stories in my head. Which? How do I know (and please don't tell me to "look within myself" Chewbacca style)? I need advice, opinions, (kind) words to help out... pu-lease! Thanks! |
May 27th, 2005, 11:56 PM | #2 |
Noble Psychopath
Joined: Jan 2002
Location: Striving towards a finish line I can't yet see
Age: 43
Posts: 720
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wha?
why do you need to pick a major? did I miss something when I read I'm sorry but no school should be forcing you to declare a major until a certain amount of credits are reached. Well thats how I went through school and how it is here........you can liberal for 1 year and some, and then declare. But if theres something different on your side... and next point..special abilites? you obviousely have the special ability to worry and regretting lol. Sheeet, if that was a special ability..you'd have to roll me around in a wheel chair around the academy of students ready to fight magneto. next point....parents. I wish I could divorce mine, but I cant. They think big for oyu and try not to put stress but the pressure is always there. Heres something to realize...dont count you parents as a factor when chosing your future. Dont feel like a failure if you fall short of what you want to give to family. True family supports you on your shortcomings and praises you on advancements. Bosses on the other hand....you are a failure if you dont meet standards and true bosses only support advancements....your family isnt a job that you can be fired from. next point.....psych was crap eh? lemme share something <-------------6 years of college experience your major classes wont always be the most interesting. The simple reasoning that "Well Ilike the subject so I'll do good in it." is bantha poodoo. I was a marketing major....I always believed I could sell air conditioners to eskimos but out of all the marketing classes I took, only 1 was interesting to the point where I liked it. The rest were crap. Why? Because it depends on the professor. My experience is that the professor makes the class...period. My best marketing class was from someone who diverged form the text, challenged us as students, and HOLY BLEEEP BLEEEP HE ACTUALLY LOOKED LIKE HE ENJOYED TEACHING. 3/5 professors look like teaching can be their only source of income other than asking "Is that happy meal for a boy or girl?" Dont feel discouraged because someone else discourages you...the only person that can limit you is yourself. next point...scared about those essays and such for entrance exams. You must know how you get better at writing? BY WRITING...pudumpoooosh You want to know if you have the chops for a magazine or you want to strengthen your writing confidence. Then fregain write write write. You can only grow stronger by it.........you want to know how to land a good entrance essay. Find an approach thats unique, allowing your creativity to mask what you may lack somewhere else. Write a mock magazine, create, build, learn. INFORMATION INFORMATION INFORMATION......scarf it by the boatloads. The net is your freind, explore every side of curiosity you may have regarding every field you've every wanted to knwo about. Today, I realized I didnt know much about quantum mechanics, so I bought a book and started reading it.....just for shitsngiggles. I've written 15 notebooks worth of my book so far, eh? And every year I go back to some and read my writing...its PAINFUL. I laugh and laugh at it because in a year Ive grown a vicious pen, and now three years of writing, I cant even understand why I worried about not being able to write my book. I'm doing it I'm going back to school to major in english with a creative writing focus and think of how strong I'll be by its end. glorious triumph....and its all afetr I wasted time and got a degree that I didnt even have a passion for. wasted because I just wanted to give my parents something..anything. wasted because I swore I couldnt write the story in my head-that I would fail. Sound famaliar? Cut the BS and focus. Get some extra writing in, set goals with determination "There is no try, just do.", approach college essays creativly, and when you do 'do' things-do it as best as you can. If your best is 40% then thats it. But realize that to reach a goal you need to leave self-doubt in your other set of pants everyone can kill a squirrel with a bat but not many people can kill a grizzly with a toothpick. umm what I think I meant by that was to sharpen your weapon....your knowledge about yourself, NOT DOUBT. THE TRUTH ABOUT YOURSELF not I think I can be good at.... I think I might be able to... its WHEN IT COMES TO _____________, I SHOULD BE KING OF A COUNTRY THAT EXPORTS _______________. ITS SO EASY FOR ME TO DO THIS, I THINK I MIGHTVE BEEN ITS CREATOR IN A FORMER LIFE build on yourself, if you were a f'up before then identify why you f'd up and build. look inside your se....oh whoops, not supposed to say it. But really, how are we supposed to know what you're supposed to pick? If you do follow my advice right now then you dont have to follow my advice....makes perfect sense to me ay? Try your best to strengthen your 'weapon' and killing bear with a toothpick is cake...get more prepared to make desicions because it sounds like your self doubting because you dont know details |
May 28th, 2005, 02:19 AM | #3 | ||||||
Enemy or Ally?
Joined: Jan 2002
Posts: 4,023
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As for the rest of what you said MAD, I have to say, I can't fully agree with the last part (about buying a book about something you know nothing about just for the hell of it). This method doesn't really apply to everyone. I mean, I can do the same thing: I can go out and buy a book about something I don't know (which is a lot of things, hehe) and you'll see me re-reading the same line over and over again or fast asleep. I have short-attention span, maybe that's why, lol. Quote:
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"You're a louse Roger Smith" ~ R. Dorothy Wayneright "Have a little priest" ~ Mrs. Lovett "Grim Reaper, you could not get the women? What was the problem? Didn't you reap them with your grim reaping equipment?" "I tried that but the women, they all know hopscotch" ~ Eddie Izzard You Can Help Last edited by merylsilverburg; May 28th, 2005 at 02:23 AM.. |
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May 28th, 2005, 02:27 AM | #4 |
Senior Member
Joined: Nov 2004
Location: Somewhere, who knows??
Age: 35
Posts: 229
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Um, I'm in High school, and the only thing I can say is...
Things just happen and..... I mean the way you should take it is.............. Well................................. Oh, god what am I doing here??
__________________
A good book quotes: A teacher asks "Tell me who invented the bow and arrow??" "The cavemen!!!" gary cried enthusiastically. "Cavemen?? And what do you suppose prompted cavemen to come up with the bow and arrow?? "Er...somebody kept stealing the wheel?? |
May 28th, 2005, 01:22 PM | #5 | |
Noble Psychopath
Joined: Jan 2002
Location: Striving towards a finish line I can't yet see
Age: 43
Posts: 720
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Quote:
excuse my late night rant people but I meant that its how I get things done. My book requires that I have to create create create....religions, sciences, evolution. I'm trying my best to be unique and creative so that when someone reads my book, I want them to put down the book and stare off into space thinkin "Well, I never thought about it like that before." and quickly pick up the book again to continue. The only way you can become successful, even when creating magazines and such, is to know what the reader desires to see and then delivering those images in such a degree that they're hooked. My book is about everything so I need to know about everything....but I was just tryin to give the example that learning about goals is far better than to just be dreaming about them. |
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May 28th, 2005, 06:11 PM | #6 | ||
just a rolling stone
Joined: Apr 2002
Location: of what?
Posts: 1,561
|
Thanks guys. I appreciate the, erm, eye-openers.
Anyway, don't get me wrong. If I were to do what my parents wanted, I'd end up being either a lawyer or an architect (both professions, which btw, I think very cool, but not suitable for my personality.). Psychology has always been something that interests me mainly because of the helping-others aspect. Same goes for psychiatry, although this is far more a medical school type thing. I have always loved to write. Not necessarily poems or stories, but just writing about whatever. And in this I beat you, MAD: I have written 47 notebooks worth of whateverness, starting from the age of 7. :O My problem is that I don't know which to choose, and my question is... how do you know? And I agree 100% on the teacher thing: this is probably one of the rasons why I have never liked school. My prof just sucked... and by contrast, I had a math teacher last fall (and I really really don't like math much) and I LOVED it. She was amazing and made the subject amazing. I think that there was something else though: I guess I just wasn't aware of all the biological factors included in psychology. I knew there are certain branches, such as the Behaviorist's theories that go hand in hand with biology, but I didn't expect this to be so for just about all others. I was suprised to be listen to Freudian theories and still be talking about the hipothalamus, cerebelum, and cerebral cortex's! Hmm. This kinda disappointed me... Quote:
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In that regard, I think we are the same. I write something everyday. Journal jottings and meanderings to beginnin stories I never do finish... but I am constantly writing. When I compare today's writing excerpts to last years, I do see a change, but still. Like you, I can't help but think I'm not good enough. And also, at first I didn't know what to do with an English major, aside from being a teacher, and I don't want to do that for sure. It's just that writing magazines and books seems to me, aside from farfetched, so unstable. I don't know. I am still confused. They just laid the bomb on me so unexpectedly. "Pick a major!" I was like... wha? O_O;; I once had this plan: To major in psychology and minor in english. This way, I am available for therapeudic services, and can write books or whatever pertaining to psychology or not on the side. But then... I don't know if this combination is even a good one. I would ask my counselor, but gee, those 15 minute sessions are a wee bit too short. =__=; I think I'm just going to be a chef. Last edited by happy_doughnut; May 28th, 2005 at 06:12 PM.. |
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May 28th, 2005, 08:03 PM | #7 |
Noble Psychopath
Joined: Jan 2002
Location: Striving towards a finish line I can't yet see
Age: 43
Posts: 720
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sounds good to me
cook me some cereal, I'm starvin |
May 29th, 2005, 10:30 PM | #8 |
pazparacolombia
Joined: Sep 2002
Location: Restless dreams...
Age: 43
Posts: 2,002
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Mena, whatever it is you do, it better have something to do with writing. You know how I stand on this. I have told you over and over again about your writing. Ask Harry what he thinks of your writing. If people keep telling you that you are great at something and you love to do it why don't you think long and hard about that, ok? You say you are not naturally good at anything. Well, you are wrong. You were born a WRITER. The gift of language and communication. This is an incredibly sought after gift and here it is and its yours. USE IT! There are many things you can major in that involve setting your path towards a career in writing. Communications is one major. My brother majored in communications. I can ask him about that and any other ideas he has on the subject for you. Coincedentally he teaches a college course on writing, himself. He would probably be the perfect person to ask so I am going to ask him for you. PEACE
_RED_ stuff
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"..loathsome laughing, mixed with such a cry as no man has heard save for in the phlegathon of unrelatable nightmares; a cry wherein reverberated the horror and anguish of a haunted lifetime packed into one atrocious moment..." |
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