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Old Jul 4th, 2002, 09:30 PM   #1
The Rhythmosaur
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Just another one...

Why?
By the Rhythmosaur
banging the ancient drums of doom...

Do you see
the fly at the window?
The fly, it sees it all
the trees, the gardens, the street...
it sees it all
Cannot understand the meaning
of twin glass windows
struggling and fighting to reach out
and starving at the end
Not knowing
not understanding
why

You see,
Me,
I very often am that fly
I´m struggling to reach something
and when I just grab for it
It feels like a collision
with a wall
Me
too,
I´m not knowing
not understanding
why


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Old Jul 5th, 2002, 12:13 AM   #2
Pu the Owl
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That's a quite interesting poem.
Very different from the other ones I've read here
Keep it up and post more of your works
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Old Jul 5th, 2002, 03:19 PM   #3
007_JamesBond
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that was wow, I liked it. it was good and I hope to be able to read more
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Old Jul 7th, 2002, 09:24 PM   #4
Black Heart
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Thumbs up

Cool work! I liked it!
Post more!
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Old Jul 8th, 2002, 11:43 AM   #5
The Rhythmosaur
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I wrote it for our school magazine when I was deeply depressed about a failed love affair which lasted 3 years. Up to now, I don´t know what I did wrong, or to speak with the Pet Shop Boys: "What have I - What have I - What have I done to deserve this?..."
When I just worried about it, I heard the sound of this little insect fighting in vain to get outside through my window. It´s strange to say it, but then I felt sympathy, because it was in the same situation like me,
not knowing
not understanding
why
and I wrote it down.
I freed the insect, but me, I´m still struggeling.
Reminds me somehow to Metallica´s "One" who´s fight turned to an interior fight either... okay, that´s way to pathetic, sorry...

More? Hm, an then someone will publish them under his name

Okay, you want more, you got it:

Planet you
by the Rhythmosaur
banging the ancient drums of doom

(dedicated to the one I loved)

Few people reached it ever
Men usually move at the border up and down
But I did the jump to deeper
The gate is wonderful...

It´s a planet full of colors
crowded with animals
Butterflies, horses, colored birds...
Okay, there are snakes and crocodiles, too
But they belong there
there are beautiful in there way
and remain from ancient times as witness...

It´s a planet of beautyful landscapes
designed by divine power
With seas, rocks, jungles...
Okay, there are deserts, too
But fly over a desert at dawn
Come at noon totaly dried up to one of your oases
that lay in this sea of sands like painted
and you will understand
that I love your deserts
Even though they drive me crazy sometimes

It´s a planet with arctic regions
frozen in ice your memories
To discover it a task for lifetime
Would there be a place for me?
I´m working to design it with my own fingers
try to shape it well
hoping it´s not gonna melt away
My sculpture in your mind

I really love this planet
I love
the jungles, the deserts
I love
the seas, the arctic region
I love
.........you

Let us sleep
and never awake any more...


Well, I hope, this slightly sexuall hint at the beginning is not likely to constitute a violation to my promise not to be obscene. I heard, Americans shall be sensitiv with that topic...?!?
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Old Jul 8th, 2002, 02:30 PM   #6
Rei
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I liked both works. Very well written
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Old Jul 12th, 2002, 10:40 AM   #7
The Rhythmosaur
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I just had another idea when I red again at the homosexuality thread and hate and bitterness of some people there held me back from replying again....

Give the power to...

by the Rhythmosaur
banging the ancient drums of doom

When I was younger than a boy
I used to use my favourite toy
The only fear was in my mind
that my meal was not on time

I did not have a clue ´bout sex
neither from money nor from cheques
I did not know how to write beer
no coke, no hash, nothing to fear

Just one desire that I had:
Just laying playing in my bed
Satisfaction my heart was filling
not politics, terror and killing

And Mama told my fairy tales
and red aloud my grandma´s mails
When I cried (intentionaly!)
she´re doing anything for me

Cigarettes were an ugly thing
Warm honeymilk just made me sing
I teased my brother, he fought back
We gave each other kisses (smack!)

There was at no time any hate
even if we not obeyed.
And this world was for evermore
a funny place just to explore...

Why do I tell you all the story
by risking you might find it borin'?
...........................
Let us sum it up together:
A WORLD OF BABIES WOULD BE BETTER...
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Old Jul 12th, 2002, 02:55 PM   #8
007_JamesBond
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finally another person who likes to write
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Vini Vidi Vici

victory comes to those who want it the most

i am only mearly surviving
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Old Jul 13th, 2002, 08:55 PM   #9
Lost_myth
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mog

Out of all of them, I liked this poem the best... "Give the power to..."

This one seemed to flow naturally. The other two seemed as if you were trying too hard. I also liked how innocent the third one seemed to be.

I like what images came into my mind from reading the second one. For example: Just scanning over the world. I mean, imagining the artic regions, deserts, and jungles.


I'm not sure what to think about the Americans comment. However, I can tell you this: I didn't like it too much.
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All around me are familiar faces
Worn out places Worn out faces
Bright & early for the daily races
Going nowhere Going nowhere
Their tears R filling up their glasses
No Xpression No Xpression
Hide my head I want to drown my sorrows

No 2morrow No 2morrow
& I find it kindof funny I find it kindof sad.
These dreams in which i'm dying, R the best I've ever had
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Old Jul 15th, 2002, 02:36 PM   #10
The Rhythmosaur
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@Lost_Myth
First of all: I didn´t mean any offence. It is just what I heard, nothing more. Like people keep imagining Germans as fat bavarian beer drinkers with skinheads and leather trousers who like discipline and order (you should see my house, he, he, he!).

I´m not quite sure if I got you right:
You think, the first two "poems" seem to be tried hard? If yes, it would surprise me, because in those I did not use any rhymes and wrote freely, just keepinga kind of structure, whereas in the last I rhymed, kept a metrum an wrote in stanzas which was harder for me - in a foreign language.

If so - what makes you thinking that way? I ask because of cautiousness, not because of not standing critizism


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Old Jul 15th, 2002, 04:15 PM   #11
Lost_myth
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mog

For me it seems to be easier to rhyme....

Once in a while ppl tend to get writers block where they would think too much and try too hard. Which doesn't make it sound too good. Parts of the poems where like that. It'd be hard for me to write a poem in spanish so I understand sorta.

Doesn't Flow...

FYI... You shouldn't try to figure out who I am because you'll never know what I'm like. However, you might get an idea. You actually seemed to lighten up which is a good sign.
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All around me are familiar faces
Worn out places Worn out faces
Bright & early for the daily races
Going nowhere Going nowhere
Their tears R filling up their glasses
No Xpression No Xpression
Hide my head I want to drown my sorrows

No 2morrow No 2morrow
& I find it kindof funny I find it kindof sad.
These dreams in which i'm dying, R the best I've ever had
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Old Jul 15th, 2002, 04:21 PM   #12
The Rhythmosaur
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Thanx a lot for ya statement.
To the second: It is originally in german - that could cause a kind of tried hard feel... But the first (Why?) has ever been english, by the way.

N.B@ all: This sort of comment to me is more interesting and useful than just sayin´You´d like it and wished more. So if you got your special thoughts and critizism, I always lend you both of my "ears". Thank you!
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