Light

Sword 4 Hire · May 24th, 2002, 06:29 PM

Light

By: Sword 4 Hire

The Light is unpredictable
Giving off a storm of false hope to some
And a feast to a chosen few
A feast decorated in candles that provoke the shadows
The shadows that the tormented few inhabit
Watching...waiting for their time of redemption
Until their next chance to capture their own piece of light
In a glass bottle
A sliver of good fortune tucked tight within them
Their own feast of happiness nuzzled in their pocket
A feast of risk
And Light...

happy_doughnut · May 25th, 2002, 12:19 AM

*sniff* That's so pretty S4H.
*sniff sniff* You're a very talented poet. I can't write poetry at all...
All I can do is stuff like:
Roses are red
Violets are blue
I'm in a bad mood
So what's it to you?

*ahem* Anyway, very nice! it's great. I hope you post more cuz they're all really fun to read

Beretta55 · May 25th, 2002, 03:16 AM

nice post i like it.

Lost_myth · May 25th, 2002, 10:10 AM

I like it, though the ending confuses me a little. What risk? Maybe you could explain it more. Just a suggestion.

My favorite part is:

A feast decorated in candles that provoke the shadows
The shadows that the tormented few inhabit
Watching...waiting for their time of redemption
Until their next chance to capture their own piece of light

The way you describe it. It has good imagery. Good job.

Sword 4 Hire · May 25th, 2002, 12:45 PM

Sorry Myth...here I'll explain it...the Light in my poem represents a new opportunity...something new and exciting popping up in your life, and if you go for this new opportunity, you may end up happier....or it could be misfortune....I used the word risk because new chances or opportunities aren't always good, but you gotta go for em anyways because in the end...you could end up happier...

The people who went for their own piece of light are now being rewarded somehow with their "feasts decorated in candle light"

The people who are kept closed in the shadows are people who never went for their new opportunity in fear of the worst

Moral of the poem...try new things, take chances, make risks in your life...you just may be rewarded in the end...

Lost_myth · May 25th, 2002, 01:01 PM

I really liked that. Thanks for sharing

Indrid Cold · Jun 12th, 2002, 08:23 PM

Not bad, Cool Poem!!!!

007_JamesBond · Jun 13th, 2002, 01:05 PM

wow that was cool, I liked it alot, can not wait to read more

Ruby Moon · Jun 21st, 2002, 02:52 PM

I agree with Myth, when she said you're very good at describing using verses.

Black Heart · Jun 21st, 2002, 09:31 PM

I'm reading a lot of good poems at these forums!
I wish I could write like you guys!

Can I ask you, in this case to S4H, how do you choose to express yoursefl thru verses? Don't you think it would be much easier to write a story? It's a dumb question, but since I can't write poems, I'd like to know

Sword 4 Hire · Jun 22nd, 2002, 06:08 PM

I don't know why I use verses...I always have...and as for your question about writing a story...I would...but I'm too lazy, poems are much easier lol

Lost_myth · Jun 27th, 2002, 06:47 PM

Poems can be stories, they can be almost anything that the writer chooses. S4H, I'm sure rhymes and uses free verse. Just guessing about the last part.

Sword 4 Hire · Jun 28th, 2002, 12:09 PM

Actually I rarely rhyme...I mean I think I can...but it takes too much thinkin...I like to write poetry as fast as I can...that's when the good stuff pours out onto the paper

May 24th, 2002, 06:29 PM	#1
Sword 4 Hire Retired... Joined: Jan 2002 Location: Swamp hill. Age: 37 Posts: 1,632	Light Light By: Sword 4 Hire The Light is unpredictable Giving off a storm of false hope to some And a feast to a chosen few A feast decorated in candles that provoke the shadows The shadows that the tormented few inhabit Watching...waiting for their time of redemption Until their next chance to capture their own piece of light In a glass bottle A sliver of good fortune tucked tight within them Their own feast of happiness nuzzled in their pocket A feast of risk And Light... __________________ and for now the tired soldier sheathes his sword...

May 25th, 2002, 03:16 AM	#3
Beretta55 Reached for the sky Joined: May 2002 Location: The road less traveled Age: 34 Posts: 2,465	nice post i like it. __________________

May 25th, 2002, 12:45 PM	#5
Sword 4 Hire Retired... Joined: Jan 2002 Location: Swamp hill. Age: 37 Posts: 1,632	Sorry Myth...here I'll explain it...the Light in my poem represents a new opportunity...something new and exciting popping up in your life, and if you go for this new opportunity, you may end up happier....or it could be misfortune....I used the word risk because new chances or opportunities aren't always good, but you gotta go for em anyways because in the end...you could end up happier... The people who went for their own piece of light are now being rewarded somehow with their "feasts decorated in candle light" The people who are kept closed in the shadows are people who never went for their new opportunity in fear of the worst Moral of the poem...try new things, take chances, make risks in your life...you just may be rewarded in the end... __________________ and for now the tired soldier sheathes his sword...

May 25th, 2002, 01:01 PM	#6
Lost_myth Every One Dies Alone Joined: May 2002 Location: In the depths of existance where the hot magma flows. Age: 37 Posts: 1,057	I really liked that. Thanks for sharing __________________ All around me are familiar faces Worn out places Worn out faces Bright & early for the daily races Going nowhere Going nowhere Their tears R filling up their glasses No Xpression No Xpression Hide my head I want to drown my sorrows No 2morrow No 2morrow & I find it kindof funny I find it kindof sad. These dreams in which i'm dying, R the best I've ever had

Jun 13th, 2002, 01:05 PM	#8
007_JamesBond Angel of Darkness Joined: Jan 2002 Location: Everywhere, but then again nowhere Age: 38 Posts: 1,692	wow that was cool, I liked it alot, can not wait to read more __________________ Vini Vidi Vici victory comes to those who want it the most i am only mearly surviving

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Light

May 25th, 2002, 12:19 AM	#2
happy_doughnut just a rolling stone Joined: Apr 2002 Location: of what? Posts: 1,561	sniff That's so pretty S4H. sniff sniff You're a very talented poet. I can't write poetry at all... All I can do is stuff like: Roses are red Violets are blue I'm in a bad mood So what's it to you? ahem Anyway, very nice! it's great. I hope you post more cuz they're all really fun to read

May 25th, 2002, 10:10 AM	#4
Lost_myth Every One Dies Alone Joined: May 2002 Location: In the depths of existance where the hot magma flows. Age: 37 Posts: 1,057	I like it, though the ending confuses me a little. What risk? Maybe you could explain it more. Just a suggestion. My favorite part is: A feast decorated in candles that provoke the shadows The shadows that the tormented few inhabit Watching...waiting for their time of redemption Until their next chance to capture their own piece of light The way you describe it. It has good imagery. Good job.

Jun 12th, 2002, 08:23 PM	#7
Indrid Cold Banned Joined: Jun 2002 Location: Zapadocesky Czech Republic Age: 41 Posts: 298	Not bad, Cool Poem!!!!

Jun 21st, 2002, 02:52 PM	#9
Ruby Moon The Cynical Clone Joined: Jan 2002 Location: Lakeview Hotel Posts: 496	I agree with Myth, when she said you're very good at describing using verses. __________________

Jun 21st, 2002, 09:31 PM	#10
Black Heart Mighty Captain Joined: Mar 2002 Location: Nautilus Posts: 273	I'm reading a lot of good poems at these forums! I wish I could write like you guys! Can I ask you, in this case to S4H, how do you choose to express yoursefl thru verses? Don't you think it would be much easier to write a story? It's a dumb question, but since I can't write poems, I'd like to know

Jun 22nd, 2002, 06:08 PM	#11
Sword 4 Hire Retired... Joined: Jan 2002 Location: Swamp hill. Age: 37 Posts: 1,632	I don't know why I use verses...I always have...and as for your question about writing a story...I would...but I'm too lazy, poems are much easier lol __________________ and for now the tired soldier sheathes his sword...

Jun 27th, 2002, 06:47 PM	#12
Lost_myth Every One Dies Alone Joined: May 2002 Location: In the depths of existance where the hot magma flows. Age: 37 Posts: 1,057	Poems can be stories, they can be almost anything that the writer chooses. S4H, I'm sure rhymes and uses free verse. Just guessing about the last part. __________________ All around me are familiar faces Worn out places Worn out faces Bright & early for the daily races Going nowhere Going nowhere Their tears R filling up their glasses No Xpression No Xpression Hide my head I want to drown my sorrows No 2morrow No 2morrow & I find it kindof funny I find it kindof sad. These dreams in which i'm dying, R the best I've ever had

Jun 28th, 2002, 12:09 PM	#13
Sword 4 Hire Retired... Joined: Jan 2002 Location: Swamp hill. Age: 37 Posts: 1,632	Actually I rarely rhyme...I mean I think I can...but it takes too much thinkin...I like to write poetry as fast as I can...that's when the good stuff pours out onto the paper __________________ and for now the tired soldier sheathes his sword...

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