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[happy_doughnut]

I'm tired. It's late. I have a math exam tomorrow. I can't work out the problems for the last three sections. It's late. I'm tired. I won't be able to get up tomorrow at 7. Why am I still here?

Tee hee.

Well, this isn't an RP, for those that are wondering. I guess it could be, but I don't mean it as such. This is a special thread. Partly because I created it and partly because I say so.

Really, though... this is the "night thread." It's for anyone to post, but only during late hours of the night! I know that there are many members that stay awake into deep hours of the night... I know because I'm here till like 3 or 4 am and I always see at least one or two members wandering the forums.

So now, instead of having nothing to do (and if you can't sleep or just don't like sleeping till late, of course) post here. What about? Anything you'd like. Maybe you can tell us what you are doing at such late hours or if you're having trouble sleeping, tell about it and fellow insomniacs will read and hopefully support.

So yes, this is a quirky thread. But then again, I made it so what can you expect?

Post here, but only if it's late (maybe post 12 am?)! Tell us what... well, whatever you'd like.

Personally, I'd like to know who is up at late hours and why there aren't in bed sleeping. Yep.

Oh, and - please do post your time at the top of your post. (Yeah, I know it's at the bottom anyways, but will ya?) It should make it interesting.

Night fellow nocturn mates.

[merylsilverburg]

Gah, it's 3:40 AM here and I'm doing mega research for a paper I'm writing. It's about cosmetic procedures/enhancements and it's an argument paper...I'm anti-cosmetic enhancements, so I'm searching and searching all over the net for sources. I've got about 26 sources, but I have to go through each of them and pick out specific information for my arguments and support.

I'm an insomniac anyway, so this is no problem. But doughnut, you should try to get some rest...it's not healthy to stay up so late and wake up at 7 AM.

[happy_doughnut]

Gah, it's 2.25 here.

I was supposed to go to sleep an hour ago, cause yesterday I wasn't able to sleep at all. Man, I worked on the crappy paper all day today and hardly had any time to review for my math exam. =\

Thing was that I had no other time during this weekend! I had so many things to do that I had virtually no time to do my homeworks.

I just finished writing a cause and effect paper and I was reading it over in my room... before going to bed... and I noticed that I gave an example and I didn't explain it. *sigh*

I need to fix that and while I'm up, I'll debate whether I should sleep and study at lunch or study now and study at lunch.

BTW: Good luck on that essay meryl. It seems like you're one paper ahead of me. Didn't you just finish writing a cause and effect paper? My next paper will be an argument paper, too, so it does seem like you're one step ahead. Hey... lemme copy. :o!

Good luck with it though. 26 sources seems scary to me. You should get some sleep, too, ya know.

[merylsilverburg]

That's too bad Mena. I don't know how you do it; I would be like a zombie the next day if I were you. *gives Mena-chan some coffee and doughnuts * Yeah, I did finish a cause-effect-like paper....my instructor hasn't returned it to me, but I have a feeling I did terrible. -_-;;; But sure, you can copy! *hands Mena her notes*

I've been at this paper for nearly the whole night; this entire weekend I was going around looking at houses...'cause....you know my situation. It was so exhausting, trying to find a good house that suits your needs, you know? And there are so many decisions to make and pros and cons about the house...so, I didn't have a chance to work at this paper. *shrugs* Oh well.

Good luck on your paper and math exam Mena!!

[tempted]

1.21 AM

well it's late..lol..i'm not either tired or sleepy yet as usual..i'm not doing much..just playing around with PSP9 and talking to mr Sasuke..with who i was having an interesting chat until all of the sudden we stoped talking so i guess we're on a break..lol..either that or he left again with out saying goodbye.. ..anyways..there's not a single noise around the house or the street..and that is creepy..usually at this hour my neighboors are screaming at each other..but not today..umm..weird.. maybe they just killed themselves to free me from the hell of having to listen to them..lol..well mr sasuke is back so i'm gonna go and chat with him again..g-night!

[Faile]

01:27am and i am up late telling secrets to people on msn.

what a life.

[tempted]

2.34 AM

still not sleepy or tired ..and i have nothing to do now..so most likely i'm gonna go watch tv or something..g-night again

[Pu the Owl]

4:34 AM.

This headache won't let me sleep. I feel more like a werewolf than like a human now. I have many options. Well, not as many as it could seem, to tell the truth. I could read. But I'm bothered by the idea of starting a new book at this hour. I'm not going to keep on reading the book I was reading yesterday either: a rather banal gothic novel with all the religious cliches you can think of. Seems more like a gothic soap opera... Hope the innocent virgin will be corrupted before the end of the book. Not because I find immoral details amusing, but simply because innocent virgins in books are improbable characters, a lot more than the perverse monk, anyway.... XVIII century readers were probably very bored ones. I can't see other reasons to find interesting such rubbish.

Somebody outside is yelling at the phone. Lovers? Conspirators? Hmmm... probably not. Just a drunk somebody mad at the phone.

[Pu the Owl]

4:47 AM - One Day Later...

Sometimes you have many things buried inside your head, you absolutely want to communicate. But you don't know exactly what you want to say, so you end saying nothing. Night is almost over, morning is round the corner, and it's cold outside. Rain. In few days it'll be the birthday of one of my best (ex-)friends. I won't call her or buy gifts or send any messages. I wouldn't know what to say. Time has done all that was in its power to enlarge a gap between us. We spent our childhood and youth together. She was cruel. I loved her with all my heart though. But I wouldn't know how to tell her I can forgive her now, after all the years that I kept her away from me knowing I could be indipendent from our friendship, finally. Could I start despising her once again, looking at her face or hearing her voice? Questions...

Why am I telling this? Why am I writing? I don't know. This thread is in many ways like a sort of "hole" where you can hide words that in other threads you wouldn't write. Despite the similarity with the "What are you thinking" thread, it looks like this thread is more "confidential", even if it's just an impression (after all more or less the same people are reading all posts and threads around here...). Probably it's just I'm to sleepy to understand I am actually writing something, meaningful or not.

[merylsilverburg]

1:46 AM...Still doing bloody research for this paper *grumbles*. This isn't what I'm really pissed about though...yeah doing research is annoying, but I have a reason why I'm so f*cking pissed:

A few days ago, I tried to sell a Burberry Blue Label bag on Ebay (okay, uh...Burberry, for those who don't know, is a designer bag...like those that Hollywood stars carry...like Louis Vuitton or Gucci). This bag belonged to my mom, but she didn't want it anymore, so I'm trying to get rid of it for her.
2 days after it was listed, it was pulled from Ebay. Why? Because Burberry USA accused me of selling a counterfeit bag. Okay...
first off....I don't deny it could be a counterfeit. My mom had received this bag as a gift from a friend and we don't know if this bag is the genuine article. So, if they believe it's counterfeit, so be it.
BUT...I'm friggin' pissed off because this bag is part of another label that is available only to ASIA. This is Burberry USA who contacted me. So, how the hell do they know whether this bag is a counterfeit? If Burberry Hong Kong (which BTW, was the company which Ebay said pulled my auction) contacted me, I would understand. But no...Burberry USA...
And, I'm pissed because they didn't even warn me or anything...and when I asked them why they pulled it from Ebay, they were very rude about it. What's also annoying is that there are still many Hong Kong sellers out there who still have their auctions up! And if you guys know these things, we Asians are notorious for counterfeits (unfortunately). Especially in Hong Kong though. So, I feel very angered that Hong Kong auctions are still up and running and me, a person in the USA, had their auction pulled. It's totally unfair.
I can't sell this bag anywhere online otherwise they could send authorities to come and arrest me.

[happy_doughnut]

2.40 AM

Gah, I just finished writing another essay. Again... I didn't have time to do my math homeworks. Well, I was able to do 2 out of 4. There's this one that I will do tomorrow during lunch, and the other... well, I have no clue whatsoever of how you're supposed to do it. *sigh* I'm doing pretty bad in that class... I missed it for a couple of weeks because it's so boring! The teacher is such a bitch. I mean, god, you're 2 minutes late and she won't let you in... not even if it's an important lecture day or if we have exams! I mean, what if someone has some kind of emergency and they're 5 minutes late? I don't see why she needs to penalize students so. And she won't even let you go to the restroom. If you're in class and have to go, you can leave but you won't be allowed back in. I mean, what if someone is sick! What an ass.

I have a quiz for that class tomorrow. I hope it's not on the program I can't do. I'm pretty sure it's one the first, which I'm fine with and another... *sigh* This class.

Lately I've been so stressed. It will be 2 or 3 or 4 or even 5 AM and I will be unable to sleep. With all these things at home, at school... I feel like I don't have any more head space. Like right now, my parents think I'm sound asleep and yet I'm here like some kind of insomiac unable to sleep yet again.

I wonder why everything is so difficult. In the end, is it really worth it? To study so hard and do so much... what if you don't make it anyways? Honestly, I feel so old. I just turned 18 and I feel like I'm 30. Why? Because hardly anything seems fun. I feel like I have to work, work, work.

I get up at 7 AM. I go to school. I come home at about 5 PM. I sit down for a bit. I eat. I wash the dishes and pick up messes. I do my homework. I make lunch or breakfast for the next day. I got to sleep at late hours.

I do this Monday through Thursday... and on Friday I get to clean, clean, do errands, clean, clean, sleep. Saturday I need to take care of personal things (washing clothes, cleaning up my room, ect) and I study in the afternoon. On Sundays it's the same... more cleaning, errands, personal things, studying, homeworks...

Omg, what kind of life is this for an 18 year old? All I need is a husband, a kid, and to replace school with work and BAM! I always see all these girls out and about when I'm doing my errands... with their friends, laughing and having fun. And me? I have a list in my hand and a watch on the other.

Feels like my "youth" alread whisked me by and I didn't even realize it.

I wonder if school and studying are worth erasing your social life... or your life in general.

I feel so... old.

Maybe I should go to sleep. If I can, anyways.

[tempted]

1.27 am

I'm so tired..but i'm not sleepy yet so going to bed is out of the picture..because if i know myself well..i'll be up in less than 30 minutes again..grr..my neighboors went back to screaming at each other again...-_-...i was drawing but i got bored..i get bored really easy lately.....i don't really feel like talking to anyone..i'm just really..really bored tonight...and don't know the why since i was in a rather good mood all day..maybe i should just go out for another one of my night walks..maybe i'll get sleepy. ..g-night ^_^

[Faile]

01:25. At 9:00am I have to go for my counselling session. It's the first one I'll have been to in a while. I'm not sure what I'm going to say. Something like "My girlfriend of two years ran off with someone else and hey! I'm coping really well actually.". I hate admitting things and telling the truth to the counsellor. Then it's work work work all day.
I'm really scared about the future but I'm not admitting it to myself. I'd be really heartbroken about everything if the depth of the betrayal hadn't made me so angry and I'm pouring all my anger into songwriting and creative energy, to prove her wrong. She said I couldn't sing and she said I would never write a good song. She shattered my trust and she shattered my confidence, but I'm not buying into any of it. She's welcome to run off into the hearts and arms of others, but I'd like to think that ultimately I will become stronger and happier without her. Anyone that could betray so easily is worthless in my life.
But I'm so lost right now...

[Pu the Owl]

4:25 AM

Why do I always post at the same hours? Why stuffed bears are laughing at me? There's something very wrong in this room... And cats keep on falling from my balcony. Silly, oh silly them... Falling asleep on the edge of the abyss...

[Tha Keaf]

It's 1:04 in the morning here and I'm not sleepy at all.

Oh yeah, this is my first post, I plan on making many more.

[Pu the Owl]

Somewhat off topic... here it's morning, but for this time doesn't matter! *looks nearvously around hoping Mena won't notice*

Ahemmm... Welcome Keaf

[Tha Keaf]

Still up and it's three minutes till 2, thanks Panuru.

[merylsilverburg]

Hmm...it's 2:16 AM and I'm thinking about the same problem that I continue to think about whenever I draw...

I wonder: will I ever become a mangaka? Am I even talented enough to be one? I look at my drawings everytime and there's always something wrong...I get very sad, to the point where I cry.
Whenever I look at other websites where they feature their works of manga art, I view them very carefully, but yet, some of them, I don't think are very good. This isn't out of spite, but because most of them imitate their styles very much (which is fine, but I just don't care for these type of drawings) or the style they claim is "manga" is actually "anime." They don't seem the know the difference between the two.

Then, I came across another forum where the girl was posting out fanart (they were from Gensomaden Saiyuki, Rurouni Kenshin, and Hunter x Hunter). They were very good and I was very happy to see this! Reading her posts, she said she's been drawing since she was 5 and only started drawing anime 6 years ago. For a person who started 6 years ago, she was very good. This made me sad though. I've been drawing manga style ever since I was 5 too. Yet, my drawings, I feel, are not good.

Whether or not this is an excuse, I feel that I shouldn't be sad that my drawings aren't very good because when I was young, there weren't much reference for me to go on. Unlike now, where there are tons of manga available in the US and there are "How-To-Draw" books to teach basics, I never had anything like this. What did I have? I had only 3 books of Bara no Berusairu ("The Rose of Versailles") manga and one "Swan Lake" Chinese anime children's book to draw from. I didn't have access to all the things others have now (which is why I feel that the ones now who draw anime/manga style will advance further because of this...but they have it easy and they didn't have to go through this process without reference...because nowadays, just as long as you draw big eyes and small nose, it's "acceptable."). So, I improved my drawings on my own...with no help or references except for those. Another reason that I couldn't get better at my drawings was because my parent's forbade this type of drawing. They allowed me to draw, but I never planned to become a mangaka. So, drawing was always just a "hobby." So, I never focused on it intently. And now...if I want to achieve my dream, it depends on my drawings...but my drawings are not good in my eyes, when they should be good since I was drawing since I was 5...but I had no reference.

I don't mind if someone answers or responds to my post/question. Actually, I would like to know some of your opinons...am I being arrogant for thinking this way or what? In some ways, I guess I am arrogant, but I just don't know what I'm lacking...I work hard at my drawings, but they just never seem to improve.

[Tha Keaf]

Could you link me to some of your drawings?

[merylsilverburg]

Originally Posted by Tha Keaf

Could you link me to some of your drawings?

You can check here for some of my old fanart...I put these out only because nowadays, I haven't made any fanart/art of my own...except for that "Eve" drawing...that was done in 2003. I'm very happy about the "Kenshin and Kyo" drawing, as I did that on Microsoft Paint and not a Photoshop program. But...uh...that's about it.

but, here you can check out my own manga (it's just a test page, so it's not an actual manga yet).

As you can see, I draw mostly girlish stuff, as I would like to be a shoujo artist one day.