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[fantasytiger]

ok so as you can tell I am taking psychology and my teacher often askes me to get opinions from other people about the topics we have so from time to time this thread might pop up all I ask is if you have an opinion please give it thanxs

ok first topic acording to my instructor she did some research and found out that guys mature mentally and emotionally three years slower then girls so if you are dating a 19 year old guy mentally you are really dating a 16 year old. Then she said that its wrongfor girls to tie down guys in a serious relationship at the ages of 16,17,18 because thats the years were they should randomly date and have fun and that if you do tie them down they will always have that what if? question running through their mind. So I want to know what do you all think does age really matter? are there exceptions to this finding? what do you all think on the whole topic

[Uchiha Sasuke]

Originally posted by fantasytiger

ok so as you can tell I am taking psychology and my teacher often askes me to get opinions from other people about the topics we have so from time to time this thread might pop up all I ask is if you have an opinion please give it thanxs

ok first topic acording to my instructor she did some research and found out that guys mature mentally and emotionally three years slower then girls so if you are dating a 19 year old guy mentally you are really dating a 16 year old. Then she said that its wrongfor girls to tie down guys in a serious relationship at the ages of 16,17,18 because thats the years were they should randomly date and have fun and that if you do tie them down they will always have that what if? question running through their mind. So I want to know what do you all think does age really matter? are there exceptions to this finding? what do you all think on the whole topic

I find that extremely false, atleast in my case. I'm 19 and I find myself mature as or mature than most adults in there 20's. Same goes for my group of friends that I hang around with. But I guess that statement applies to the majority which may be true because I noticed a lot of people that are childish that are in my age group

[ssjtrunks13]

Yeah, that's what I heard as well. I guess for the most part it is, but of course like most findings there are the exceptional people. I don't think age might have so much to do with it, but maybe the guy's situation.

[XXAVIERR]

I think that, in general, what Fantasy said, or was told, is true. There are always exceptions to every rule, but for the most part, guys do mature at a slower rate than girls. This point has been proven time and time again. Granted, some might go through certain things in their lives that will make them mature at a faster rate than others. As far as being tied down in a serious relationship between the ages of 16-18, neither a guy or a girl is ready at that age.

[Zone]

False.

Use me for an example. I've always been able to fool people about my age, and it's not just because I look years older than I am. Many people over the internet have thought that I was/am older than I really was/am.

I almost never gloat over myself, but I'm proud to say that I'm quite mature for my age.

I'd say there are just as many females "slow to mature" as there are males.

[Vicious_2003]

False. Age doesn't matter

I disagree with you on that one. In general age does matter. As XXavieRR said, there are always exceptions to the rule. You may or may not be one of them, thats not really the issue. Over all, the chances of a relationship going the distance between a young male and an older women are very slim. I dont care how mature you sound, just because you can converse with adults doesent mean your mature. Maturity comes with experience, and at sixteen, or nineteen, you just dont have enough to fully understand what you want. Again, thats in general, there are exceptions.

But part of being mature is knowing your not (Confused yet ?). If your not mature enough to figure out that you have ALOT to learn than your not as mature as you think. (And when I say "you" im not reffering to anyone in particular). I wouldnt be against a 19 year old BOY dating a 28 year old women (Or whatever), Im just saying I would doubt the relationship would survive for long. I believe that age does matter , it isnt such a hurdle that it cant be overcome, but it is a hurdle none the less.

And some people brake up over the smallest hurdles (Money, dissagreements, misscomunication, blah blah). 60% of marrieages end in divorce, I bet the precentage would be higher if the men in those relationships were only 19 and the women were much older. Porbably around 80%, and those aint good odds

[Qjij_jijQ]

If that's a fact fantasy, then I'm special.
... 'nough said!

[Zone]

Originally posted by Vicious_2003
I disagree with you on that one. In general age does matter. As XXavieRR said, there are always exceptions to the rule. You may or may not be one of them, thats not really the issue. Over all, the chances of a relationship going the distance between a young male and an older women are very slim. I dont care how mature you sound, just because you can converse with adults doesent mean your mature. Maturity comes with experience, and at sixteen, or nineteen, you just dont have enough to fully understand what you want. Again, thats in general, there are exceptions.

But part of being mature is knowing your not (Confused yet ?). If your not mature enough to figure out that you have ALOT to learn than your not as mature as you think. (And when I say "you" im not reffering to anyone in particular). I wouldnt be against a 19 year old BOY dating a 28 year old women (Or whatever), Im just saying I would doubt the relationship would survive for long. I believe that age does matter , it isnt such a hurdle that it cant be overcome, but it is a hurdle none the less.

I agree with you on almost everything.
Also, maturity does come with experience, but that doesn't mean it takes many years to gain. One can experience a lot in a short amount of time and learn greatly from it. Yes, I can converse well with adults but that's not my only reason. I can't give a good, detailed explanation, but I know if I were to have to make an important decision, I could make the right choice. I also know "right from wrong", among other things. Like I said, I can't give a good explanation, but I just know I'm more mature than a lot of people my age. Not fully mature, but up there. (Now I'm sounding immature.)
I don't think that being mature is knowing you're not, though. One can easily tell the difference in maturity level between themselves and others their own age (that is if they are mature and smart).

As for my comment that age doesn't matter, I didn't mean that on a entire level. I agree that age does matter for many reasons. In turn, I will remove that part of my original post to avoid more confusion from what I really intended for it to mean.



My head hurts.

[Redpyramidhead]

Is your teacher female? I believe that it works both ways and I actually believe that it is quite possible that girls have the same problem with the "what if" factor regarding maturity in the same way to even a higher degree. From personal experience I have always been more willing to have a long lasting serious relationship with somebody than they have with me. I think it is unfair to say all guys mature at a rate slower than girls. It really depends more on the way they were brought up both at home and by society and the individuals ability to percieve the importance of what they see and how it relates to them, thus shaping the person that they are. And finally, how can you say someone is really 16 when they are 19? Or in my case, would I really be 20 instead of 23? That's almost-albeit in a non-direct way-like saying "Ok so my dog Sparky is 3 years old, but in dog years that's really 21 because each year counts for 7, right?" And that would be without considering the breed or size of the dog which we all know effects how long a dog lives. Ok...that didn't sound quite right You must pardon me, it's late...

_RED_ stuff

[Berserker]

[QUOTE]Originally posted by Vicious_2003

I disagree with you on that one. In general age does matter. As XXavieRR said, there are always exceptions to the rule. You may or may not be one of them, thats not really the issue. Over all, the chances of a relationship going the distance between a young male and an older women are very slim. I dont care how mature you sound, just because you can converse with adults doesent mean your mature. Maturity comes with experience, and at sixteen, or nineteen, you just dont have enough to fully understand what you want. Again, thats in general, there are exceptions.[QUOTE]

Amen.

It is important that you don't want to be too mature too fast, you must cherish the child in you it keeps you going on the long run. I know friends of mine who are well in their thirties but always keep a sort of childish edge to them self .....and you know what it makes them look at least 5 to 10 years younger. You must not want to be like thirty when you're only 21...be 21( or 18,17...).
At least that's mine opinion and part of mine philosophy in life.

[trunks69420]

I must dissagree witht that "theory"... I was in quite a happy relationship being 19 and being w/ a 22 year old woman.. This 22 year old woman behaved more like a 16 year old than i ever was... I was the one trying for a relationship, I wanted it serious/tied down... But she was the one who acted like a child... Which is unfortunate, because i thought by going older i would get rid of the childish factor... but alas.. whether male or female.. there are always people who will defy a stereotype and to try and classify this into an age situation.. is just not possible.... Everyone matures at different rates... I had a lot of shit to deal w/ at a young age so now i am naturally more mature than the "average" 19 year old... Doesn't mean that i'm not a jackass... becausei most certainly am.. but generalizations in this category dont seem to work in my opinion

[Preventer Wind]

Age does not matter. There are some 12 year olds who are smarter and more mature then most adults. Age is not an excuse to be imature. Doing the right thing or not doing the wrong thing is something you can find most of the time by thinking it through or finding some guidance. The problem is that a lot of teenagers don't think things through and they end up making the wrong decision.

So yeah I would have to say the information is true for both guys and girls. Though I would say I've seen more girls mature out of highschool then guys. I don't have to look far to see a perfect example in my step-brother.

[XXAVIERR]

"There are some 12 year olds who are smarter and more mature then most adults."
What world are you living in Preventer. Boy or girl, you won't find anyone at the age of 12 more mature or smarter than an adult. Tell me what kind of life experiences, which is what maturity is based upon, a 12 year old KID has actually gone through. At 12 years old, a person hasn't even begun to face many of the things that life will throw at you. I'm not saying you have to be an adult to have some level of maturity, but come on.

[fantasytiger]

Yes the teacher is female her name is Mrs. Wikenczy and she has been known for her long speeches on the exspected behaviors of men and women she is extremely tough thats why I posted it here I need at least ten people by wensday i plan to print this forum page out and turn it in if I get ten people

honestly i think it has to do with the sistuation and what they have experienced through there lives i think girls can be just as immature as boys.

[neomarik]

Originally posted by fantasytiger

Yes the teacher is female her name is Mrs. Wikenczy and she has been known for her long speeches on the exspected behaviors of men and women

i dont think she likes the male race very much, ive had her class before.

[Cannibal Clown]

Originally posted by SSSnake

I find that extremely false, atleast in my case. I'm 19 and I find myself mature as or mature than most adults in there 20's. Same goes for my group of friends that I hang around with. But I guess that statement applies to the majority which may be true because I noticed a lot of people that are childish that are in my age group

I think I'm one of those friends who are left out in the maturity group.

I suppose that I am very immature and childish, but at times i can be very calm, responcible, gentile, kind, reasonable, straight forward.
Usually that part of me only comes out when i'm around other girls. Expecially if they are older than me. ex. I'm 18 to a 21 year old. but i usually act like i'm 15 any other time.

[Uchiha Sasuke]

Originally posted by Cannibal Clown

I think I'm one of those friends who are left out in the maturity group.

I suppose that I am very immature and childish, but at times i can be very calm, responcible, gentile, kind, reasonable, straight forward.
Usually that part of me only comes out when i'm around other girls. Expecially if they are older than me. ex. I'm 18 to a 21 year old. but i usually act like i'm 15 any other time.

No Steve you are part of the group, just because we act out a little bit once and awhile does not mean you are really immature.

[Vicious_2003]

Age does not matter. There are some 12 year olds who are smarter and more mature then most adults

LOL, im with XXavieRR. A 12 year old's more mature than most adults. Appearently you arent living on the same planet as the rest of us. And even if you were, what leeds you to belive this. Name some of these supposed 12 year olds, who, while learning how to multiply fractions in grade school are mature enough to face the real world as an adult. But that may be true...in what 1% of the population. Were talking in general, and in general, age matters.

Doing the right thing or not doing the wrong thing is something you can find most of the time by thinking it through

Right and wrong is something we learn as childeren, theres more to maturity than something as basic as that. How about sacrafice ?. Emotional issues ? Financial issues ? Political Issues ? Religious issues ? Family ? friends ? theres more to it than right and wrong and im afriad most any 12 year old is not well enough equipperd to handle these things

You will understand someday. Im willing to bet anything that if you havent allready, you will look back on your life and realize you didnt know half as much as you thought about life. Im only 19 and ive allready looked back to when I was 16 and thought that. Back then I thought I had it all figured out, I thought I was extreemly mature, and now I realize I didnt know shit then and I still have ALOT to learn.

Age is not an excuse to be imature

So you look at a 5 year old and say, why are you so immature !? Dont use your age as an excuse !. Or the same for a 12 year old ? You HAVE to have some experiecne to be Mature. And to have experience you have to have lived a while ya know . The fact that you feel the way you do shows some immaturity (No offense). Were all Immature to a degree, myself included. And if you think your not, that just proves that you are.

[Preventer Wind]

If you people do not want to face the fact that there are some 12 year olds out there that are smarter then some adults then fine go ahead and believe that. There is some 12-16 year old every year that graduates from college. Now it is a small fraction but even 1% is some. When did I ever say in general? That's the problem with Psychology, there is almost always an exception.

Maturity is about doing the right or wrong thing and standing up for the decision you made. If you make a sacrifice you ask your self was it the right thing to do? It's the same thing for everything. You look back and think did I do the right thing? And how mature you are at the time reflects the decision you made. Tell me how your age will reflect the decisions you make?

And yes 5 year olds have no reason to be immature. No one does unless they can somehow make it their job. Can you give me any other reason? There's only 1.

Can you tell me where this experience stuff comes into play and where do you have all your experience? And why do you have to be a certain age to have experience.

[Deathwatchz]

waitaminnit, do I know you neomarik??? if you had ms.Wickencsy, then you obviously went to chadsey, so who r u? but on the topic now, yes, she is a very sexist teacher, so she would have her psychological opinions backed up by her biased attitude. Anyway, in my opinion, there are exceptions to the rule, but i believe that they are describing this situation on a chemical and hormonal basis, rather than simply an emotional basis. If you took a guy who acted 20 when he was 15, and thought about what would happen if you put a female thru the same situation, she would probably be as mature as he was when she was about 13. If you examine women to men as an average, the results show that women mature faster mentally and emotionally. The only problem with a lot of these exams is that they always take the AVERAGE into account rather than the exceptions. A majority of the people here seem as if they were the exceptions, since this site seems to attract those of us who have some emotional and mental development that our fellow citizens are lacking. This makes it so that a lot of people here don't feel that this applies, since they cannot see it from the view of the norm. I think that women do mature faster due to there chemical make-up, but it doesn't mean that they WILL mature, period. You could have a person with the potential to act 35 when they are a young teenager, who chooses to stay immature, which would result in just another immature brat. why dont you try to bring that point up to Ms. Wickencsy, and tell her that I said hi!