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[Soul Angel]

Well here's the beginning part of a story I'm working on right now and I was wondering what people here thought of it?

In a world far away from ours different kingdoms have grown, in the past these kingdoms fought each other in what it looked like a never- ending war, as friendships and betrayal went on between them until only four kingdoms still stand. One day a group of people known as Peace set up the Peace religion, this religion brought peace to the kingdoms and had sworn to keep the peace between the four kingdoms and to stop the never- ending wars with it.
And so since the religion was set up the four kingdoms were ruled under by this religion and promising to stop the wars and to bring the never-ending peace to the land.

Present day

It was a rainy day at the Kingdom of Caloe, behind the castle walls though the people were celebrating the Day of Peace, the day which it was believed that all four kingdoms agreed to make peace with each other and to stop the wars to fight for land and to help feed there greed for ultimate power over the world and the people who lived on it.
There music was playing and people were dancing to the music, while others were clapping their hands in time with the music happily celebrating the Day of Peace.

There at one end of the room on the royal table was a young princess with long blonde hair and blue sparkling eyes, happily joining in to the clapping to the music, where she elegantly clapped her hands and smiled at the people dancing around in the room, by her side was the plumb King of Caloe who smiled watching the young princess enjoying the happy celebrations.

Meanwhile back outside the castle walls on the cold damp lonely streets of Caloe, where the rain was pouring down was a person slowly walking towards the castle, this person was wearing a dark red coloured cloak with a hood, which almost covering his face and was drenched by the rain. The person’s eyes were like a blue, green, aqua colour and they almost looked like they had a slight glow to them as the person walked down the wet streets. Water dripped of the person’s chocolate brown coloured hair where the rain had managed to seep through the hood of the cloak.
Just then with a blink of an eye the person disappeared with only the sound of the cloak waving and hitting the air as they disappeared from the cold dark damp streets.

Back at the party in the castle, the people were still celebrating, the Young Princess was now standing up and was happily talking to some young Lords and ladies some distance from the royal table close to the door entrance to the room, which looked like it was made out of gold with patterns carved into it as it sparkled from the lights in the room.
On the other side of the door two well-dressed guards stood there from each side of the red carpet, which was leading to the door and was laid down throughout the castle. The guards were guarding the door from anyone who attempted to crash into the party, they could still hear the music playing from inside the room nice and clearly.

Just then a person step out from around the corner from the other side of the corridor and slowly walked up to the guards. It was the same person who was walking on the streets still dressed in the dark red cloak which dripped from the rain onto the red carpet and started making darker red patterns on it as the drips hit the carpet.

One of the guards turned and looked to see whom it was, but before he could say anything the person stabbed a knife into his chest. The guard dropped to the ground with the knife still in him, by this time the other guard quickly starts to draw out his sword, just then the person quickly whips of the dark red cloak with their left hand revealing himself, there he then covers the guards face with the dark wet cloak and while still holding the cloak, he pulls out his sword with his right hand. As he quickly twirls round taking the cloak of the guards face his sword pierces through the guards armour where it slices through his stomach. Just then before the young guy finishes off the second guard another guard starts running up behind him. The young guy quickly tosses the cloak at the third guard covering his face and stopping him in his tracks for a few moments while he then runs behind the guard’s back. The guard had managed to take off the wet cloak from his face but before he realises where the guy went the young guy grabs hold of the guard’s mouth with his hand and with his sword he smoothly slices the guard’s throat, where he then drops to the ground clutching hold of his bleeding throat with his hands. The guard’s warm blood slowly and smoothly runs off the cold steel blade as if no ones blood could stain this sword’s blade.

The young guy looks towards the gold door as he slowly slips his sword back into its holder, staying alert to any sound around him, as the three guards rested on the ground by his feet and their blood almost hidden as the royal red carpet soaked it up with no hesitation from that of the blood of its own people.
The young guy then begins to reach into his small like black bag connected to his belt, where he pulls out a small black coloured ball. He then lifts the dull blue coloured bandana around his neck and puts it over the top of his nose so that it only showed his eyes and the top of his head. The two tied ends of the bandana drape down his back reaching up and around pass his waists, almost making a cloak effect in themselves.
The young guy slowly walks up to the gold door where he slowly opens it, making a slight crack so he could see what was going on inside but also not too much to make it visible for others to see.
He slowly looks from one side of the well decorated room to the other, his eyes widen as he sees his prize the thing, which he has came for and was prepared to slaughter others who got in the way between him and his prize. There the young guy says quietly and softly to himself “Night, night!”
With that he quickly fully opens the door knocking some people over when doing so and throws the small black ball onto the dancing floor in the room as he runs towards his prize. The black ball soon hits the ground where it burst covering the whole room in a dense thick grey coloured smoke, there you could hear and just about see the people coughing and collapsing to the ground by the smoke as it starts to cover the whole of the room.

By this time the young guy is now running back out of the room closing the golden door behind him to stop people from following him, He carefully watches where he puts his feet while running pass the dead guards, which he had slaughtered before hand and over his right shoulder is the young princess unconscious by the smoke. The guy begins to start running towards one of the castle windows, down one end of the corridor and while doing so with his free hand he pulls the bandana gently down from his face back to where it was before around his neck.

The young guy quickly gets up onto the window’s edge where you could see a rope tied up just above it and the other end of the rope is tied down diagonally to another part of the castle wall some distance away. The guy quickly puts a hook over the rope, where he then suddenly turns his head around to see a load of guards running up towards him.
The young guy puts a mischief smirk on his face and does almost a small laugh under his breath before turning his head back round and without hesitation jumps off the window’s edge and slides down the rope with the princess now under his arm.
Just as the guy is sliding down towards one of the castle’s dark grey damp walls where the rope leaded too, one of the guards at the window quickly cuts the rope.

“Whoa!!” shouted the guy in surprise as he feels the rope collapse with him and the princess still on it. Lucky enough the guy manages to land on his feet on top of the wall before the rope fully collapses with him on it.
The guy turns to look at the window angrily “What the hell are those guys trying to do!?”

The young guy quickly runs across the wall still carrying the princess, he then suddenly meets up with a guard, which is shouting out at him “Hey you stop right there!!”
The young guy stops and stares at the guard with his unusual coloured eyes as he gently puts the princess down onto the dampened ground but never taking his eyes off the guard. He then quickly draws out his sword once again ready to fight the guard but just then he hears a voice behind him “Put your weapon down lad you’re not going any where!!”

The young guy quickly turns his head round to see 10 more guards behind him, he then faces the guard in front of him only to see another 5 guards had joined up with him.

The young guy turns his body slightly and starts looking either side of him and let still does not sweat from panic and then says, “Surrounded huh!” as he continues to check the guards out, ready to take any of them on as he slowly starts to think of away of a means of escape with him and the princess unhurt by the conflict.
Just then another voice from above shouts out “Over here!!” The young guy looks up into the dark clouded skies where he then sees a blue and yellow coloured dragon around maybe the size of a large dog heading towards them, the dragons scales shimmered as the moon’s light hit its scales. The guy sees his chance of escape, there he quickly puts his sword away and picks up the princess and as the dragon flies pass the castle wall, the young guy jumps off the wall and lands onto the dragon before the guards realise what was going on and there they quickly fly off away from the castle into the distance with the princess.

[Ruby Moon]

That's a really cool story you're working on Soul, very interesting and well done. there's some good atmosphere in it. Hope you'll keep on writing it.
Nice

[Hylas]

It's been a long time since you last posted a story!Very nice one, but can I ask, only for my curiosity, why haven't you picked names for the characters? Do you plan to let us know who they are later?

[Black Heart]

Nice work Soul, this story seems a good fantasy one.
I'd like to read the next part too, and yeah, I'd like to know something more about the characters!