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Aug 4th, 2008, 02:01 PM | #1521 |
Useless Oracle™
Joined: Jan 2002
Location: Everywhere
Posts: 5,136
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Thanks. It's a long time we knew it was coming, so the shock wasn't great. It's just bad to think about some things. But there are always reflections to be made that aren't easy to digest in moments like these.
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Aug 5th, 2008, 08:53 PM | #1522 |
ys.
Joined: Jan 2002
Location: ex-ex-exeter, disunited kingdom
Age: 40
Posts: 1,137
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I'm so sorry for your loss. I don't know what to say. Words seem useless when placed against life and all it is; silly distractions. You're in my thoughts.
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Aug 12th, 2008, 11:41 AM | #1523 |
pazparacolombia
Joined: Sep 2002
Location: Restless dreams...
Age: 43
Posts: 2,002
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I am so sorry to hear Pu. My deepest condolensces to you and your family during this hard time. My grandmother passed away this past March and it was very hard on all of us. Don't be dissallusioned if it doesn't hit you right away. You will mourn in your own way when the time is right. My heart goes out to you.
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"..loathsome laughing, mixed with such a cry as no man has heard save for in the phlegathon of unrelatable nightmares; a cry wherein reverberated the horror and anguish of a haunted lifetime packed into one atrocious moment..." |
Aug 14th, 2008, 12:56 PM | #1524 |
Useless Oracle™
Joined: Jan 2002
Location: Everywhere
Posts: 5,136
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Thanks. It doesn't feel real, but it's very natural at the same time. I guess the way you go through the mourning process depends on the kind of relationship you used to have with the deceased person. So... looks like I don't really care from the outside. I'm probably more rational than emotional about it than most people, considering the kind of relationship we used to have in our family.
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Aug 19th, 2008, 05:10 AM | #1525 |
Reached for the sky
Joined: May 2002
Location: The road less traveled
Age: 34
Posts: 2,465
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Sorry to hear of your loss Pu. Everybody mourns differently some cry it out and others don't and just go with things. I also personally wouldn't be concerned with looking like you don't care; I've reacted the same way to deaths all my life. I just accept the loss and try to move on. I also don't know what I'm trying to say; at 5 AM I get wordy and don't make a lot of sense so just ignore me Pu.
As for what I'm thinking, well that's a mixed bag. Things are decent I guess, even though my thoughts don't seem to reflect the change. I try not to pay too much mind to what I think about anyway, it hardly does me any favors.
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Aug 19th, 2008, 09:07 PM | #1526 |
Ex-S.T.A.R.S Officer
Joined: Jun 2002
Location: City Of Survival
Age: 36
Posts: 828
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Well many things are on my mind at the moment.. Lately I feel like im not a good enough person. I try to my best to be a person everyone enjoys being around. Im used to being happy most of the time. It made me happy to put someone else in a better mood. Im not like my sisters who had boyfriends at an early age. Im not used to guys coming up to me. Im known as the friend type I guess you could say. I used to not mind it so much. I was fine with being single. I thought I finally found someone who could love me and that made me feel in a way that I cant even put into words. I gave everything I had to be caring and supportive but I guess it wasnt enough. It hurts to find out that the person you loved, doesnt have the same feelings back. It hurts to go from saying I love you to this person then go straight to being just friends. It hurts to not being able to confide with my own sisters about this since I've hid this from my family. It hurts going to bed every night and crying till I fall asleep. It hurts trying to make myself hate him but I cant. I constantly ask myself what I did wrong. I loved him and still do. I still wait for the day that I know will never come when he wants to be with me again. I know I have to move on but its hard. Im just trying to go day by day
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Aug 19th, 2008, 09:13 PM | #1527 |
Useless Oracle™
Joined: Jan 2002
Location: Everywhere
Posts: 5,136
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^ Awww *hugs*
It's not always a question about what you did wrong, you know. Sometimes things just don't work out as you were hoping, and of course feeling it's your fault is very natural. But it's not the truth. It's not always a matter of doing wrong or right. I'm sure you don't have to torture yourself like that over it. One day you'll find there is actually somebody that will be able to give you feel those special feelings again, but maybe without many of these insecurities you're experiencing right now. |
Aug 27th, 2008, 12:34 AM | #1528 |
misfit
Joined: Jan 2003
Location: graveyard...diggin' up her bones
Age: 43
Posts: 2,574
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Sad to hear that REchick14!
Been smoking too much cigarettes lately (after quit smoking some years back), first only when I was having a drink now it's everyday after work one cigarette... it's nowhere near the amount I used to smoke....but I need to totally quit again. Starting today....
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I'd rather be forgotten....than remembered for giving in.... Vincere Aut Mori |
Aug 27th, 2008, 11:34 AM | #1529 | |
Now or Never
Joined: Jan 2002
Location: Zürich
Age: 42
Posts: 2,456
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Quote:
Social smoking is also very wrong, because you smoke depending on your social life, so you feel like you have to, everytime you go out for a drink, or everytime you are with your freinds, even if you wouldn't normally smoke in these cases. |
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Aug 28th, 2008, 12:30 AM | #1530 |
misfit
Joined: Jan 2003
Location: graveyard...diggin' up her bones
Age: 43
Posts: 2,574
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Agreed, haven't smoked for the last 36 hours...no probz. Allthough I know for sure that even when totally stopped I'll still have a cigarette with a beer/vodka. I only have a few drinks every two weeks or so, but it's just part of the relaxing experience of having a drink for me.
I like the eastern philosphy about the whole balance thing. Stress is the biggest killer around, if an occasional drink and smoke helps me relief the tension and release some built up stress from work/school/life I'll take the (in my opinion) smaller side effects for granted. Maybe I'm wrong but it works for me, after a night like that I feel rejuvenated and ready to cope with anything they throw at me. It's probably just one of my ways of dealing with stress (the others are kickboxing and fitness...so at least they're healthy).
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I'd rather be forgotten....than remembered for giving in.... Vincere Aut Mori |
Sep 1st, 2008, 12:18 AM | #1531 |
misfit
Joined: Jan 2003
Location: graveyard...diggin' up her bones
Age: 43
Posts: 2,574
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My thoughts are with the people that live in New Orleans and surrounding areas....
__________________
I'd rather be forgotten....than remembered for giving in.... Vincere Aut Mori |
Sep 11th, 2008, 12:42 AM | #1532 |
misfit
Joined: Jan 2003
Location: graveyard...diggin' up her bones
Age: 43
Posts: 2,574
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Hope I get a reply soon about the go or no-go concerning my project.
__________________
I'd rather be forgotten....than remembered for giving in.... Vincere Aut Mori |
Sep 18th, 2008, 12:54 AM | #1533 |
Useless Oracle™
Joined: Jan 2002
Location: Everywhere
Posts: 5,136
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People always judging people without even knowing them. Just to fill their mouths with something and to pass the time. What the hell...
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Sep 23rd, 2008, 04:44 PM | #1534 |
The One & Only
Joined: Dec 2002
Location: Being Reborn
Age: 41
Posts: 2,132
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Thinking about how amazingly good my life is lately and how I don't understand why I feel so low and depressed.
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Sep 25th, 2008, 08:18 PM | #1535 | |
pazparacolombia
Joined: Sep 2002
Location: Restless dreams...
Age: 43
Posts: 2,002
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Quote:
RED
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"..loathsome laughing, mixed with such a cry as no man has heard save for in the phlegathon of unrelatable nightmares; a cry wherein reverberated the horror and anguish of a haunted lifetime packed into one atrocious moment..." |
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Oct 13th, 2008, 02:23 AM | #1536 |
misfit
Joined: Jan 2003
Location: graveyard...diggin' up her bones
Age: 43
Posts: 2,574
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Busy weeks ahead and I'm already so friggin' tired, I need more sunlight!
__________________
I'd rather be forgotten....than remembered for giving in.... Vincere Aut Mori |
Nov 22nd, 2008, 01:11 AM | #1537 |
Useless Oracle™
Joined: Jan 2002
Location: Everywhere
Posts: 5,136
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I haven't been around much lately *shame* I've been working on something, which I now completed. The editing of my father's book. Last thing I had to do, after all the editing of the original manuscript, which was in bad shape and had some parts missing and lots of things to fix here and there, was the cover. Now it's all done, and the book's ready for sale!
Huzzah! PS: I know it's in Italian, it's just to give you an idea... |
Nov 22nd, 2008, 02:14 PM | #1538 | |
pazparacolombia
Joined: Sep 2002
Location: Restless dreams...
Age: 43
Posts: 2,002
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Quote:
LOL... I run into the same thing. The question is "What are you thinking right now?" Well... several things... actually... hehe. And also the word association thread... I mean you are supposed to think of the first word that comes to mind... but I'm not always sure I like that one.
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"..loathsome laughing, mixed with such a cry as no man has heard save for in the phlegathon of unrelatable nightmares; a cry wherein reverberated the horror and anguish of a haunted lifetime packed into one atrocious moment..." |
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Nov 24th, 2008, 01:24 AM | #1539 | |
misfit
Joined: Jan 2003
Location: graveyard...diggin' up her bones
Age: 43
Posts: 2,574
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Quote:
__________________
I'd rather be forgotten....than remembered for giving in.... Vincere Aut Mori |
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Nov 24th, 2008, 09:48 AM | #1540 |
Useless Oracle™
Joined: Jan 2002
Location: Everywhere
Posts: 5,136
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Summing it up, the story of the book is very minimal and doesn't sound very original. It's the story of a man, whose purpose in life changes with the passing of time, as he becomes more and more mature and responsible about many things: a marriage, some extra-marital affair, a work he doesn't like and a family that doesn't support or understands him, a battle with a disease, etc. As he becomes more aware of himself and of the people around him, he also changes his view on fate and fortune, that are something he's afraid of and doesn't really understand at the beginning, and becomes able and confident to control and shape into happiness towards the end. That's more or less about it.
More books? Well, yes and no. There are more writings, but I'm not sure some of them are part of a single and complete work. I'll have to look into them one of these days and see if they can be collected into a something, somehow. But could be they're all indipendent and unfinished works. In that case, I'll have to leave them or think of something to arrange them. |
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