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[Berserker]

When I hear you talk about your experiences, I''m getting the feeling that you're very demanding and specific in what kind of woman you want. The perfect partner doesn't exist. I've had experiences with friends that always said I want this and that kind of girl period and she better not be this and that....they end up with the complete opposite and you know what? They're happy!
Maybe the women that completely doesn't seem your type can match quite well, you never know till you give it a try.

[goodman]

Well, its tough to say, really, i will say from experience, though, that im open to the possibility of meeting a lady for friendship if nothing else. And, that being said, most of the women out there are either looking for someone to date or get married to, and if you dont fit into that mold, then they arent interested. I think there are a lot of game players on these dating services, also, and i restrict my game playing to the ps2 and the pc, tired of it in relationships... Im gonna just meet somebody as the situations occurs instead of trying to create a situation...

[Berserker]

Originally Posted by goodman

Im gonna just meet somebody as the situations occurs instead of trying to create a situation...

Exactly, that's the best way IMO. In the long run you'll find somebody everybody does just keep an open mind and eye.

[Faile]

Its an odd point. From experience you cannot define love unless you know someone so completely you can see their flaws and accept them. Certainly thats not really possible until you've spent serious amounts of time with them. Online(or long distance) relationships can have this huge gestation period where you will be in dreamland, thinking that you understand said person when really you cannot as you are not interacting with them on a 'normal' basis. When your relationship with said person comes under the slightest stress its probably going to break as you don't understand the other person well enough to resolve any problems and vice versa. But I guess it changes from person to person. Perhaps I'm just a pessimist in that sense.

As for friendships, well that different. You can connect with people on a variety of different reasons, mutual interests etc. I'd consider a number of people via this online world really close friends who i could trust with things. Only a few, but yeah. Friendship yes, relationships no. I guess thats how I figure it.

But that is only me and my opinion !

[goodman]

Relevent and good opinion, Faile. To me, if someone is trying a long distance relationship online its going to be hard. Its hard enough with locals, all a person has to do is stop replying to email, then the relationship is over...

[tempted]

Originally Posted by Faile

...As for friendships, well that different. You can connect with people on a variety of different reasons, mutual interests etc. I'd consider a number of people via this online world really close friends who i could trust with things. Only a few, but yeah. Friendship yes, relationships no. I guess thats how I figure it...

Exactly my point of view great friends, yes very true,something more i doubt it ...

[tempted]

I know i'm probably going to be called a hypocrite but who cares anyway..Well i used to think as you probably noticed that it wasn't possible to fall for someone over the internet but i now know that it is and i had to find out about it the hard way..meaning it happened to me...so yes it is possible to fall in love for someone who you never even seen the face in person and trust me you can fall deeply for that person...but and that's the reason i'm posting in this thread again my advice is don't let yourself fall for someone like this especially if you're someone like me who when falls in love falls for real because even though you may really love that person and that person love you, there are a lot of obstacles such as distance, family, work or even the person you fell for. Or even life itself can put obstacles in your way...obstacles that even if you want to overcome them they won't get out of your way. And also the person you fell for may not be really what you thought they were and may not be really want to try and make things work..well in my case it's the contrary the person is everything i thought he was and more ..but anyway all i'm trying to say is if you feel like you're getting too close to someone like this just stop it while you still can..i had someone telling me not to let myself fall for this person while i could still stop it and i didn't listen to them and now i'm left with a brokenheart and it's an unberable pain unlike any other i've experienced in my love life before ...so yeah that's all for now.



P.S - I'm back ..for those who care to know .

[Berserker]

It's always though to learn it the hard way, but for some people that's the only way they can learn things like this( me included). But maybe it's better to find it out for yourself, cause now you know for sure and otherwise you may still have doubts like what if etc.etc.
You'll get stronger and wiser out of this in the end.... another lesson lived is another lesson learned.

Take care and keep your head up girl!!!

[goodman]

You all are young, you have years and years of heart renderings to experience. I waited later in life to try and find love. Have i found it yet? No, but ive found facsimilies of it, and i know that there is that special "one", but until the time is right all the efforts and concerns towards that end are for naught. Because its not meant to be, its hard to believe now at this time in a persons life, but its supposed to be a very special person that your meant to spend your "happy" times with, and anything else is just a substitute. My most recent "catch" on the internet that ive actually talked to, was a 35 year old girl who has been married three times. We talked twice, and between her telling her son to shut up and stop bothering her, we probably both came to the conclusion were not gonna hit it off. I, for myself, dont think i will find love on the internet. Im just glad im still close friends with a girl i was really close with for many years, if a person remains friends with someone the had a relationship with, then you know it wasnt a waste. People consider relationships and people to be trash, nothing more than something to be disposed of. If it has real meaning, and i mean "real" meaning, its neither trash or something you want to let go of, but maintain it on another level, one that in the long run still benefits both people. Our world is so self-centered and self purposed that "real" relationships are rare, but they are what we live for, whether or not we realize it or not...

[tempted]

Well i wasn't looking for love..love came without asking me if i wanted it or not...i was actually trying not to fall for anyone because i've been hurt a lot in my past relationships and it actually took me 5 years since my last b/f for me to let myself fall for someone again..and i never said this was a waste of time because i know it wasn't and i also think, no, not think, i know that the love i feel for this guy is a good thing but i guess it just can not be..he's an amazing person and there's nothing about him that makes me think that me loving him is or was wrong..but like i said before things don't always go the way we want them to go and if only one of the 2 is willing to make things work obviously it's not enough..it takes 2 to make it work...and as far as friendship well he knows i'm his friend and that won't ever change..even though we're not talking at the moment.
And about that whole someone special for everyone thing ..i do believe in it but with all that has happened to me in the past i'm starting to think that maybe i'm meant to be alone..which isn't all that bad..i can be happy alone.

Originally Posted by goodman

Our world is so self-centered and self purposed that "real" relationships are rare, but they are what we live for, whether or not we realize it or not...

Sorry i have to disagree on this, people shouldn't live for a relationship people should live for themselves not for others.And living only to try and find someone to be with, it's dumb.IMO anyway.

[goodman]

People should very much live for themselves, i totally agree, and when that special one comes along, take it! But that is what were looking for, whether or not we think so or not. Youve been hurt and for five years or more and havent tried much, or anything, but all that does is make the efforts you make that much tougher. It takes many, many eggs to make an omlet. If you dont reach out, then certainly you wont ever meet the person your meant to be with. And, in all honesty, there is nothing at all wrong about being alone, actually, its wonderful, much better to be alone than with someone you dont want to be with, ive done both, and much prefer being alone. Its worth it to do a soul search as much as a person search, in anyones life, much more valuable in the long run, and knowing yourself will provide the answers when true love knocks on the door of your heart!

[tempted]

Well right now i'm going to pass all that relationships thing for awhile again..my heart and my mind need some time to heal...and in the meantime there's other stuff in my life that need to be fixed...maybe then when i have all sorted out..i'll dedicate some time to the whole dating thing...but right now that it's not even crossing my mind.

Originally Posted by goodman

..and knowing yourself will provide the answers when true love knocks on the door of your heart!

Lol...well if what i feel isn't true love then i need someone to tell me what the hell it is that i'm feeling or what the hell love is!!?

[goodman]

My parents just went to Europe celebrating their fiftieth wedding anniversary. Admittedly while they have had a lot of good times in their life, there have been times when im sure they were ready to end it. Even if someone were to meet their "true" love, there will be times when their pressed hard as to why their still hanging on so strong to someone. Its a serious commitment thing, which often doesnt happen like it did fifty years ago, that is kinda a result of our throw away society. Somewhere in the seventies it became easier to just end a relationship and either raise the kids yourself or find another hubby or mommy to help raise em. Its tough meeting someone who isnt raising kids and isnt totally involved with them and other distractions. They have a concept of what they are looking for, but havent clearly thought it through enough to know that they really need to try and get that child raised and then seek the attentions of a good man (Goodman, get it!). Im fairly resolved to going another five or more years without being too deeply involved with the right lady because they still have so many distractions, as time and situations evolve, though, that will change and the time will be there for her to concentrate on other things..

[Sodge]

I think it's possible for e-love to foster, but for it to work out is very slim -- especially those long distance ones. Since, you know, people tend to cheat on their e-girl/boyfriends with chicks/dudes in real life. If you're REALLY faithful it might work... but that'd take a lot of commitment. In conclusion: the internet is serious business!

[goodman]

Elove needs to be like any love, imo, its got to be fostered. To never actually be with a person, but just send emails, to me means you cant truely "feel" or know that other person. Just like trying to meet local women, i make sure to point out to them that we really need to talk, not just email, because we can find out probably 85% more information this way. The internet is much more of an introductory tool, and then actually getting to know someone in person for who they are is the next step. Many of the women on dating websites per se are there for anoymously lurking around and seeing whats out there, which is great for them. For those of us who are tired of games and want realistic communication and correspondence, the internet part of edating needs to depart quickly and become only a quick way of saying hi in between get togethers after youve hit it off with someone....