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[merylsilverburg]

Originally posted by MakgSnake

I know I wouldn't be a great help or even any help at all. But I think its because of how you are. CHANGE yourself. You are sooooo freaking negative about yourself. I mean this is too much. You are negative, and negativity brings depression to one self. You dont need no medicine or any tablets like that. You are the cure. In school you "THINK" if you say something would be said against you in a weird manner. You have to change yourself. (Now I get a feeling that you'll say the first thing is "I cant change myself" and stuff like that) Thats the first step of Negativity. Its something not nice. Like I said, I may not be helping you at all here. But I am saying all this just cause I care........simple. (Even if it doesn't sound like it). Its your fault.

Well Makg, you may think it's all me and my fault, but I don't think so. And since you don't know me, I can't blame you for saying that. I've never done anything all my life to be the way I am....all I ever been was just "different" from everyone. While everyone was loud and outgoing, I was quiet and shy. Whatever I did to "fit in" I just got strange looks from everyone....even when I did try to act "stupid and ditzy" just how every other girl in my class. So, I gave up....I was always "too mature" and "too motherly" to join in any conversations or anything.
Also, it was my family situation that had an effect on me....I never did anything wrong. Everyone just put pressure on me to "be the best" and "do well in school" and I took it as my duty in life. While I was still young, you know what my mom said to me everyday before I went to school? She said, "Don't pay attention to any of your friends, even if they're talking about fun stuff. Just pay attention to the teacher and do your best to be the best. The teacher is more important because homework is more important so try not to have too much fun". And since I was a kid, I had to listen to her...so that became embedded in my mind....and so I kinda "drifted" away from everyone....because I listened to my mother's words and I was shy and I was not accepted.
So, I never really was a happy kid...and the depression hit during 6th grade because I was...."isolated" from my family. Things went wrong, I was ignored at home, at school I was ignored by my peers, I was made fun of, the teachers thought me as "troublesome" and sent me to my counselor...just because I tried to fit in and be like everyone else.
So, in the end...I don't see how this can be my fault. What did I do wrong?
Mena: Did you try to call? I'm sorry, I wasn't at home...I was at...the restaurant....

[Rei]

Yes meryl, depression for a teenager is not that serious and uncommon, just don't take this fact in a bad way. I agree that maybe your negativity is a reason that has made things worse for you. I'm not blaming you, just saying you shouldn't be so negative. Just try to think more positive regarding some matters, as for example school. And talk more to the people you consider friends, don't keep everything for yourself, this is not good either.

[merylsilverburg]

Yes, that's true Rei...I already agreed with Ruby about this...however, I am not your normal, typical teenager. So, this depression I'm going through is not just any normal problems....
Ah, I only posted about my depression because I wanted to hear from you guys who have it or used to have it whether or not the pills are worth it or not.
But, thanks again for all the support.

[Pu the Owl]

That negativity brings depression is true, I have to agree on that, but often negativity is increased by external causes. Makg, I don't think you should say it's meryl's fault, also because as she said you don't know her enough to say anything like that.

[kupoartist]

negativity is a multiplying effect, or a downward spiral... theres not a lot you can do about that. I'd love to give great advice, but they only way I've coped with any personal problems is to distract myself with somthing else.. work or games etc. Thats probably not the best path to take, but just remember that every situation has a positive way out if you're prepared to work for it. Good luck Meryl

[dan da man]

i feel for you meryl i suffered a bit aswell going to the doctors soon to find out.

[ssjtrunks13]

I distract myself from what people at school thought of me by playing video games. That didn't work at school, but at home it made me kinda forget what people have said to me. I am also very shy at school and at social gathrings so I keep a lot stuff inside. I never really had any friends until 9th grade when I met this girl at school in a few of my classes, I liked her a lot. My friend had told me to go talk to her when he found out I had a crush.

What I'm trying to say is I never had any real friends until High School. I still don't talk much, but I have a lot more friends than I ever thought I would and I also have a girlfriend now. So, keep your chin up and one day you'll find someone out there who'll be your friend.

[Faile]

Depression sadly is a rising trend amongst teenagers. i'm 19 now and have suffered with depression for about the last six years. I never really looked for medical help because i personally do not believe in medication such as seroxat, prozac etc.
probably due to my strange fear of help i was led towards letting it out through other means which i will not go into here because its not always right to be so open.

but yes, i suffered a lot, but time eventually sorts it out or erodes you. it depends on how your situations are and your outlets, but its probably a good idea to seek some sort of help as you have. i hope you feel better with time and everything smooths over.

[Gadzoox]

*quietly hugs*

[ssjtrunks13]

So do I. I know some of my problems have gone away, yours will too.

[dan da man]

yes, but at the moment i cant amagine mine going away.

[merylsilverburg]

Thank you again to everyone who posted here or PMed me. *group hugs* It was nice to have your support and kind words. I've decided not to take the medication because I don't want to end up being dependent on them once I run out or something. So, I'm just going to try to be a little more positive about my current situation even though it will be hard. Thanks again everyone.

[ssjtrunks13]

No problem, anytime!

Thanks for the hug.(I really needed one)

[BlackThornn]

I didn't see this earlier.. I'm sorry for you, Meryl. It sucks being depressed, I know.

Do you know if it's bipolar or unipolar..?

I was diagnosed with unipolar depression when I was in high school, after being prescribed ritalin (generic: methylphenidate) to alleviate Attention Deficit Disorder (which I have). Unfortunately one side effect they forgot to mention was it messes with your brain chemistry, and sends you into some serious depression.. I got out of it, though (..though I've never really been 'right' since.) with a mix of meds and a steady regimen of friends and video games. Aah, the glory of escapism.


My reccommendation, don't take it too seriously.. stick with your friends, and let the stress out somehow. I know it might not be your style but just some sort of pseudo-violent means of letting it out of your body and head would probably help a LOT. (a punching bag worked for me.. but playing Grand Theft Auto and dragging simulated people outta thier cars might help just as much for you! ^_^) As for the pills... you might want to take them, stuff like prozac isn't really addictive.. And like most things like depression, with time you will 'grow out of it'.

(after actually reading the thread.... one more thing. This is in NO WAY your fault. Your environs have adverse effects on you, and stress builds up inside. Contrary to what SOME people believe, it's not something you can just 'deal with' safely.)

[Ninja]

look meryl, i know i'm always kidding around and stuff but what im about to tell you is not a joke, my best friend was depresed, he was never lightened, he was tired, always in his room playing games, never wanting to go out and chill. meryl my advice to you is go out chill with your friends,(if you dont have any, go out with your sister) have fun go to the movies, dont just stay at home tired, playing games and junk like that, look, im poor and even i can find things can make me feel good, find something your good at, share it with other people, well its 11:30 so i must b going, meanwhile

[MakgSnake]

Originally posted by Fortune
Makg, I don't think you should say it's meryl's fault, also because as she said you don't know her enough to say anything like that.

Yeah, I dont know her at all.....but as far as Ive seen her. She is nothing but negative about herself. Thats all what I was saying. And in my opinion that plays a big part over here. She keeps saying she is different and not like other kids around, HEY every single person on this planet is different, and not like the other kid.......but have we all got depressions?

Forget I said anything............live your life to the fullest.....thats all.

[merylsilverburg]

Originally posted by MakgSnake

She keeps saying she is different and not like other kids around, HEY every single person on this planet is different, and not like the other kid.......but have we all got depressions?

Uh....that may be true for you....but in the generation I live in now....like....the teenage generation (ahem, where everyone is the same)...if you act too mature or too serious or sees things differently you are shunned from everyone your age. I just don't see things the same way as other teens my age do. While I think one thing is stupid, they think it's fun and hilarious. While I think that doing this is inappropriate, they think it's the best thing in the world. What the hell am I supposed to do in order to fit in then, huh? Am I supposed to follow them and do all those stupid things when I don't think it's right? And even if I do (like I had already mentioned in my earlier post) they all look at me funny with expressions like "What the hell are you doing?" I told you that I tried it in the past and it didn't work. I got shunned even more for trying to be someone I wasn't. So you tell me, Makg, what am I supposed to do.

[MakgSnake]

You just have to let things slip.......I've lived in a society where I hate things people love........infact all my life I have lived in a HUGE FAMILY, where they have thought that I am the weirdest person around. My closest people think I have the worst choice, my parents never and I mean EVER supported me in things I liked. My sisters hate what I listen to, or what I like to watch and how basically I live my life.............

There was a time when where I entered a room, people use to look at me and say "What the f*ck are you doing here".....

What did I do.....I just let it go, and now look...I am happy with everything around.......

The world is not against you Diana, you are! Not saying that you change ureself for the world completely, but YOU ARE going to live here, THERE IS only ONE planet we can live on right now. THESE PEOPLE will be there for the rest of you life. You have to cope with things............ you have to co-operate. I dont change myself, but I do work on things which the society asks me to do. I am not putting myself down like that.

The way you say it, seems like you WANT to go against the people around you, because of the hatred youve had from them. You feel like never agreeing with anything with them.

I KNOW that I am too mature (if not at the forums), at work and with my fellow peeps, and too serious most of the time. YES I AM, and I have been told that my views are different from others. So basically I am just like you, right? AND NO I am not saying all this to prove a point but BECAUSE I am like that.

My friends tell me that I stay too serious all the time, and that I see things differently, but the way I am.......they RESPECT IT and appreciate it. How is that............how can that be possible......if you and I are the same?

You dont have to do anything that you think isn't right Diana. But atleast try to compromise a few things.........that wouldn't hurt your life! ...........Trust me, LIFE IS too short to worry around. But then again, there is whole life for you to enjoy.........if you stay like the way you are........you are going nowhere. You have to change...........

I am not saying try to be someone you are not.........THAT doesn't work for anyone in this world. But start with thinking positive....I seriously dont remember how many times I have told you to be positive about things around. Seems like you dont wanna listen, just like you dont wanna agree with things around the TEENAGE people. Just like that...................

Person 1: Diana, can you wear blue tomorrow?
Diana : No, I dont want to. I am happy with what comes in my mind tomorrow.
Person 1: Fine!

Its not gonna lead you anywhere..........TRUST ME (Although I know you will not) but that doesn't matter.

I am not gonna tell you ever again to be positive. Ive said it before and I'll say it again......listen to people. THEY are trying to help you. You would say "Oh thank you for helping" but would not work on it.

Change is good. and Being positive is better. But then....thats the last time your hearing it from me.

[Pu the Owl]

These are interesting suggestions Makg, but you know, not everyone in this world is able to say to his inner self "I want to change, I have to start being positive". That's not how it works for some people. You can tell them there's nothing wrong with anything, that after all their life is good, but they won't get it. Not because they're stupid, but because some personal issues taught them it's false. They need help to start being positive as you say, but if anybody around them keep on repeating "You're weird, I don't understand you" or if they keep on ignoring them, how can they force themselves to change? Not anybody's strong enough for these things, you know. That's being different in this case. It means you're unable to face everything by yourself and say "I don't care about the others, I want to decide for myself" or "I want to be happy also if I feel I'm not accepted".
Everyone knows being positive is better, as anyone knows smoking is bad, but does this considerations change a thing? Nope, it's not that knowing something automatically means you'll be able to act in a certain way. And if you add that in some cases depression is a clinical status, you'll get that you can't heal yourself simply deciding you have to do it. It could be that meryl one day will find herself changed and she'll start to accept anything regarding her life, but what if this doesn't work? What idf she tries, failing? She'll find herself in the same situation. That's why you can't simply say "It's your fault, because you're negative". Negativity can't be erased like you said. She has to start being less worried about anything, I agree on that, but receiving the help of other people, is really important. I think that was what meryl was looking for here. And talking about it, feeling there's somebody around supporting you in difficulties, ready to give an helpful hand when needed is somehow starting being positive IMO.

[MakgSnake]

But like you said, they dont agree on things, whats the use of everybody here giving her a helping hand, if that person isn't going to listen.

And its not like I am telling her to change herself RIGHT NOW, this very second. Ofcource its gonna take some time. But if she doesn't start now, when will she?

but you know, not everyone in this world is able to say to his inner self "I want to change, I have to start being positive". That's not how it works for some people. You can tell them there's nothing wrong with anything, that after all their life is good, but they won't get it. Not because they're stupid, but because some personal issues taught them it's false

That is right from your point of view. Ive got different beliefs Fortune. I believe everybody on this planet is capable of doing anything. And I mean anything........... we are all equal......in each and every way. (Not counting those are physically and mentally challenged, may god be with them). But we know Meryl isn't.

Anyperson can do anything...........ONLY IF ONE puts an effort to it, and that effort wont be come in TILL the whole "BEING NEGATIVE" is set aside for good.

She is Negative to an EXTREME....(Thats what I think).
Neways............whatever.