Home Appotography.com |
|
||||||
Mar 18th, 2002, 12:27 PM | #1 |
Angel of Darkness
Joined: Jan 2002
Location: Everywhere, but then again nowhere
Age: 38
Posts: 1,692
|
invincible part 4
well here it is sorry its been a while and it probably has some errors but here you go
"Wait a minute," I said as I stop and think. "Oh sh*t my brother and sister were in their school when this happened, I hope that they are alright." Then I try to remember where their school was, and of course can you guess where it is? It was on the other side of town. Now I am off to the elementary school, to see and to make sure that the remaining members of my family are still alive, I mean alright. I make my way through the destroyed town to the school. When I got there the school was no more, it was reduced to a pile of rocks and wood. I call out their names in hope that they will hear me, but there was no answer. I pick up some of the rubble throwing it out of the way searching for signs of life. I found none. What I did find though was two bodies ripped to shreds, hardly identifiable, but I could see that around one of the necks was the same gift that I gave to my brother on his tenth birthday. I was consumed with emotions my mother, now my brother, and if that was him my sister would be there next to him. After closer examination though I realized that it could not be her for she was at home sick that day, and she was there when I left this morning. That means that there still is a possibility that she is still alive, but where could she be? I set out around the city searching every possible place that she could be. I searched for anything that could give me a clue on where she could be. Then I found it, her favorite doll covered in blood there in the middle of the street, there was also a blood trail leading away from the doll. Although I must admit that the doll was in a strange spot in the middle of an unfamiliar street for my sister to be in, especially alone while all this is going down. Then I realize that they used her to get to me. Then from around all the corners of the streets and through the shops around stepped out ten to fifteen members of the force. I couldn't really tell because I did not take the time to count them I was too worried about my last and final member of my family. I looked around and starred at all of them in the eyes one by one, as they did to me. I then noticed that they started to take out their weapons. Then I started to remove mine, but I did it not so discreetly, they saw this and as soon as they were up they opened fire at me. The fire was so intense that it created a blanket of smoke and dirt, that dusted the air making it impossible to see, but yet they fired. They fired toward the middle of this smoke and dust, they thought to themselves that no one could survive this, but they still kept firing. Meanwhile I took to the air before they had noticed that I was gone, I saw from the air all of them firing at what they thought was me. "Fools," I yelled. They stopped. "My Turn."
__________________
Vini Vidi Vici victory comes to those who want it the most i am only mearly surviving |
Mar 18th, 2002, 12:47 PM | #2 |
Senior Member
Joined: Jan 2002
Location: Um...? *Pulls out map*
Age: 40
Posts: 1,887
|
Hey another great chapter of your story!
Its really good, I like the way you ended this chapter Keep it up, can't wait to read the next chapter
__________________
"I'm back! But for how long who knows? But PS2Fantasy will always be on my mind!" |
Mar 18th, 2002, 06:52 PM | #3 |
Cursed
Joined: Jan 2002
Location: AWOL!
Age: 40
Posts: 3,841
|
Thats cool i like how you have all the anticipation going up to the climax and then boom it slows down and the tables turn.
__________________
~I've Lost Myself, Life no longer matters~ ~The Official Ps2Fantasy Ninja~ ~A Life Without Love, Is No Life At All~ Social Networks |
Mar 19th, 2002, 12:28 PM | #4 |
Angel of Darkness
Joined: Jan 2002
Location: Everywhere, but then again nowhere
Age: 38
Posts: 1,692
|
I thought that i ended it good too, just like an ep. of a show, youll like how this one ends
__________________
Vini Vidi Vici victory comes to those who want it the most i am only mearly surviving |
Mar 25th, 2002, 04:05 PM | #5 |
Taijutsu Master
Joined: Jan 2002
Location: Konoha Village
Age: 38
Posts: 2,129
|
Hey, it's been a while since you put up another chapter. When are you going to get to it? It's getting really interesting. And this thread seemd to have been lying here dorment for like a few weeks.
Come on. Where's the next part?
__________________
If you could see the future, would you try to change it? Would you keep trying... even if you knew you would always fail? |
Mar 27th, 2002, 12:32 PM | #6 |
Si|ent Protector
Joined: Jan 2002
Location: Everywhere
Age: 39
Posts: 536
|
I didn't know that you wrote 007
|
Mar 29th, 2002, 03:23 PM | #7 |
Angel of Darkness
Joined: Jan 2002
Location: Everywhere, but then again nowhere
Age: 38
Posts: 1,692
|
next chapter is coming as soon as I can fix my A drive here at home or I get back to school, what ever comes first
__________________
Vini Vidi Vici victory comes to those who want it the most i am only mearly surviving |
Bookmarks |
|
|
Similar Threads | ||||
Thread | Thread Starter | Forum | Replies | Last Post |
Invincible X the next part (new) | 007_JamesBond | Creativity Forum | 4 | Sep 14th, 2002 02:57 PM |
invincible part 6 | 007_JamesBond | Creativity Forum | 9 | Jun 13th, 2002 09:46 PM |
invincible part 8 | 007_JamesBond | Creativity Forum | 6 | May 4th, 2002 01:21 PM |
invincible part 5 | 007_JamesBond | Creativity Forum | 5 | Apr 4th, 2002 08:47 PM |
invincible part 2 | 007_JamesBond | Creativity Forum | 11 | Feb 16th, 2002 01:10 AM |
All times are GMT -5. The time now is 11:09 PM.
|
Ps2Fantasy.com | News | Games | Forums | Newsletter | Chat | Privacy Policy | Advertise With Us | Contact Us | |||
Copyright ©2001-2014 MagnetiCat.com. All rights reserved. All trademarks and trade names are properties of their respective owners. | |||
X vBulletin 3.8.10 Debug Information | |
---|---|
|
|
More Information | |
Template Usage:
Phrase Groups Available:
|
Included Files:
Hooks Called:
|