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Sep 26th, 2002, 03:32 PM
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#1 |
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Retired...
 
Joined: Jan 2002
Location: Swamp hill.
Age: 40
Posts: 1,632
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The Sword 4 Hire
The Sword 4 Hire
The light trembles on his skin While the shadow's greet him eagerly Rays reflected from the drawn blade It's edge as thin as thread Yet as deadly as the flames The flames that burn within him Concealed by the chain-linked armor Armor impenetrible to your thoughts Your wielded threats are reflected Never touching him Never confronting him Never again will you see him For you are down Gasping for the air that he left you Dim lights Dim hope Dim existence... ... Contract Fullfilled...
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and for now the tired soldier sheathes his sword... |
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Sep 27th, 2002, 11:26 AM
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#2 |
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Every One Dies Alone
 
Joined: May 2002
Location: In the depths of existance where the hot magma flows.
Age: 39
Posts: 1,057
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Nice... that was cool. I liked how you describe the whole thing about the blade.
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All around me are familiar faces Worn out places Worn out faces Bright & early for the daily races Going nowhere Going nowhere Their tears R filling up their glasses No Xpression No Xpression Hide my head I want to drown my sorrows  No 2morrow No 2morrow & I find it kindof funny I find it kindof sad. These dreams in which i'm dying, R the best I've ever had |
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Sep 28th, 2002, 10:02 AM
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#3 |
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Now or Never
Joined: Jan 2002
Location: Zürich
Age: 44
Posts: 2,456
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Very cool and well written!
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Oct 13th, 2002, 11:47 PM
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#4 |
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Hero of Darkness
 
Joined: Sep 2002
Location: In between the depths of Time
Age: 42
Posts: 122
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Awesome poem S4H, couldnt have done any better myself!!!
 peace bro!
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Oct 21st, 2002, 12:38 AM
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#5 |
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pazparacolombia
Joined: Sep 2002
Location: Restless dreams...
Age: 45
Posts: 2,002
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I liked this poem. I like how you convey the sword as an extention of the fire within him and vice versa. And then there's the impenetrable armor, both in a physical sense as well as an emotional sense, cuz this is definately a guy who is dedicated to his work and knows the difference between these things. So, basically you describe things really well for your audience to get all that. keep 'em coming!
_RED_ stuff
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  "..loathsome laughing, mixed with such a cry as no man has heard save for in the phlegathon of unrelatable nightmares; a cry wherein reverberated the horror and anguish of a haunted lifetime packed into one atrocious moment..." |
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Oct 21st, 2002, 03:23 PM
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#6 |
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Retired...
Joined: Jan 2002
Location: Swamp hill.
Age: 40
Posts: 1,632
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Thank you
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and for now the tired soldier sheathes his sword... |
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