This is one of your best, friend. IMO, that is. I read it a long time ago and I believe I gave you my thoughts on it and what it was about and how I liked the way it flowed with the imagery and everything else. The feeling sounds familiar to me. Being caught in the downward spiral of whatever it is you are fighting against. Depression or whatever it may be, but being used to the taste and needing it. Etc.
Written wonderfully. Keep up the good work
_RED_ stuff