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yeah I know.. I just have a fear of breaking his heart. I swear to god I love him more than anything.. a year and a half it'll soon be, since we got together, ya know? ... I'm always so scared to hurt people, anyone! ... unless its someone I really dispise, then no biggy.. lol ... But yeah.. he has given me the okay if I were to see someone else... he ask me to tell him if i do and all... and I'm alright with that.
I'm just not thrilled to put effort into attempting to see someone else, when I know i'd probably have no chance at getting with that person. Its ALWAYS such a pain for me trying to get with someone... like starting all over again... and its NEVER them wanting me.. its me wanting them. .. sure I had people in highschool after me.. *coughmycomputerclasscough* ... but none of them I felt the same for. Its like I deliberatly pick the guy I've got NO chance with! .. The guy I'm with.. but not with now... is the first who had the same feelings for me when I had feelings for him. so it was more, the both of us liking eachother at the same time.. and I didnt have to play.. the game... dear god how I hate THE GAME. so yeah, there's my problem. lol
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