meryl, im just trying to offer some help from a person who has experienced it, yet to the extreme. I, for abou 2 years, was on the verge of suicide. I'm not the most stable of people, and i didnt fit in until high school. I can tell you, it may seem like things are very bad, yet you have to realize, life isnt going o be very friendly. I had to realize that it isnt going to be a situation where you have to get acceptance from others, you just have to ry to find acceptance from yourself. i know its hard when everyone around you cant understand you, but I KNOW you ccan do it. you just have to try to think about what things you like, and try to see what people around you like. if the people you talk to dont agree with it, dont mention it round them. im not saying that you have to change who you are, just that you have to think about what people will hold against you. if you can find some people who fit into the same group as you, thats perfec, even if the rest of the school will not talk to you. i, personally, have gotten so socible with people, that te only ones at my school who dont like me are the ones who TRY not to like me. you just have to try to be yourself. just because you are more mature than everyone around you, doesnt mean its a bad thing. you can think of it as you have a different view of life. from what ive seen, you arent a very negative person. ive seen a LOT worse, myself included. you have to hold your head up. and as for the pills, you can take them if you want to, but its YOUR choice. you shouldnt ask anyne else how YOU feel, because you are the only one who truly understands your problems. other people have had to deal with the same thing as you, but they dont know how it made you feel. if you think that your attitude towards life is verging on the self-mutilation, then i suggest you take the pills before you end up like me. ive got scars that are going to last me the rest of my life. i hold those as something that prove to me that things can always be worse than what im dealing with now. I'm planning on being a psychiatrist, and i think that you arent as deep in as you think. you may not be telling everything to us, but i think that you are a very nice person who just needs to find some more mature people to talk to. if you cant find anyone like that at school, then maybe you should try to find an older crowd to talk to. most of my friends are 20+, and im only 17, still in high school. just because your teachers and schoolmates hold stuff against you, it doesnt mean you should hold it against yourself. the majority of people who will tease you are not wondering what is wrong with you, they are jealous of the fact that you have that mature look at things. well, if you think that you need any help, im one of the people on your growing list of help. it seems to me that you are one of the people who i could actually consider a friend, rather than an aquaintance. well, i think ive taken up as much of your time as i should, so ill let you go. just remember, theresalways gonna be SOMEONE out there who you can talk to, you just have to find them
P.S. sorry about being so deep. i have that habit when im concerned about someone.
(oh yeah, sorry about the misspelling, i was typing too fast)