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Meryl, I have gone through almost the same kind of thing. The only difference is I'm white, but besides that I feel I kinda know where you're coming from. I have tried to be somebody other than myself and people hated me more for it. SOme people have told me they think I'm a jerk sometimes, but I don't get how because if I tell someone I won't move over so they can sit with their friends I'm not trying to be a jerk I just decided to sit there just to sit there not because I didn't want them to be with their friends. ANyways, if you need to talk I'd be happy to lend you a hand if I am able to.
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