twice
The first half was excellent, but then you stopped rhyming and still had the rythme. Which was a little confusing, might make more sense if I re-read it. But overall really nice poem, enjoyable. Good sense of meaning. Maybe you should show off the transition by making a new paragraph.
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All around me are familiar faces
Worn out places Worn out faces
Bright & early for the daily races
Going nowhere Going nowhere
Their tears R filling up their glasses
No Xpression No Xpression
Hide my head I want to drown my sorrows
No 2morrow No 2morrow
& I find it kindof funny I find it kindof sad.
These dreams in which i'm dying, R the best I've ever had
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