Meryl-chan, I completely agree with Hylas about the "sharing of common things" thing
It's real hard to find someone with the same likes of you. However, I think we've already talked about this matter, I guess it just takes ppl to be open minded, I believe. Or at least that's the way I think. For what I've tlaked to you you seem to be a very open minded person as well, so probably it is just that you are surrounded by a whole bunch of morons who are not yet at your mental level (that is, lower than yours, I must make clear)
It's always good to have that "shield" but it can be real annoying if it's one of those "impenetrable shields that only a few chosen can pierce
" (I'm serious) (I've met some ppl who use that "shield" and they usually turn out to be real annoying and I just lose interest in such ppl real quick. And just because they're so hard to get close to.)
I just say "open up a little bit, more than usual" It's always good to be at the defence, of course. Being too opened to other people can lead to trouble as well.
OK, now, more centered to the main question........ I have always felt alone. Although I have my mom and dad who I love so much, and i know that they are worried about me and love me and all, it's just like, not enough. Maybe I am a jerk and I am too greedy. As or friends.... I don't have any, the few ones I called like that are now very far away from me and email is the only way we communicate. I need that physical presense (sp?). I'm a very kinesthetic person, and that's a real disadvantage when it comes to the matter of solitude or company.
I feel empty everyday. Emptyness of love, and that same emptyness of company, that lack of someone to talk to about your stuff. The lack of having someone who really does worry about you and at least tries to help you out.
So, basicaly, solitude means to me, both the physical lack of company, but the lack of a deeper relation with otehr people as well. I'm suffering from both right now
