That was great Mourdor!
Heres mine:
The Jerry Springer Show : Episode 627 : "Marriage Meltdown!"
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[The crowd starts chanting "Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!"]
Jerry: Tonight on "The Jerry Springer Show" we have a particularly interesting episode! Cory is here to finally confess something to a long-time friend, Jeff. So everyone, please put your hands together for Cory!
[The crowd whoops and hollers]
Jerry: Okay, now Cory you're here to talk about someone aren't you?
You: Yes.
Jerry: And what is this other person's name?
You: Susan.
[The crowd squeals with delight]
Jerry: Okay, okay, well Susan, is actually here tonight ...
[The crowd squeals]
Jerry: But first we have a surprise for you Cory, because as it happens there is someone else here to see you! So let's bring out ... Kali!
You: What the HELL!!!
[Out of nowhere you pull out a Pussy. Kali reaches for the Couch. Out of the shadows Amber appears]
Amber: Wait everybody, wait!
Jerry: Yes, everybody let's just calm down for a moment here. First, tell us why you're here Kali.
Kali: Because I saw Cory and Amber making out at Hollywood Video!
[The crowd goes absolutely insane]
Amber: That's a lie! I was home watching Dragonball Z!
Jerry: [raising his hands] Hold on, hold on, I'm missing the problem here ... what exactly is the problem Kali?
Kali: Because I've recently been taking part in a sexual relationship with Jeff who has recently become engaged to Amber.
[The crowd hollers, screams and whoops in an orchestra of orgasmic excitement]
Jerry: Okay, okay. Well why don't we bring Jeff out here because Cory had something that they needed to tell them anyway about ... Susan that's right!
Jeff: [enters onto stage and saunters over towards you] What's the deal? I saw you outside getting it on with Susan! You know how I feel about Susan!
Amber: [screams] What? Why the hell did you ask me to marry you if you're in love with Susan!
Jeff: Because I knew that I could never have Susan. But Cory promised me that they'd never hook up out of respect for my feelings!
Amber: What about respect for my feelings!
[Kali walks suddenly across the stage, embracing Jeff]
Kali: Don't worry baby, you don't need any of them now that you have me.
[Again the crowd squeals]
Amber: Oh my God! Are you sick!?
[Amber runs across the room and wraps their arms around you tightly]
Amber: Cory take me away from all of this!
You: You see? That's the thing ... I'm ... well, I'm married ...
[The crowd does its bit]
Amber: Married?
[You nod]
Amber: Who the hell are you married to? When ... when did this happen? I don't understand!
You: The other day. In Vegas. I'm married to Susan.
Jeff: [screaming] WHAT!!!
Jerry: [grinning widely, makes an enquiry] So ... did you have a nice wedding night?
Susan: [stepping back out onto center stage] Well we had sex 69 times if that's what you mean.
[The crowd squeals]
Jerry: Okay, okay. So let me get this all straight ... Cory is married to Susan who Jeff has secretly been in love with for years and years. Now Jeff has recently become engaged to Amber who was recently spotted kissing Cory in Hollywood Video. Now on top of this, Kali has just admitted to being in a sexual relationship with Jeff.
Susan: That's right Jerry.
Jerry: [looking sternly into the camera] It's times like these that one has to wonder whether or not these people are aware that they are quite clinically insane. Perhaps we should be spending more on psychiatric health funds in this country, perhaps we should just ban Vegas to cut down on impulse marriages. Perhaps I should get a new job. Thanks for watching folks - it's been great - but for now, take care of yourselves ... and each other.
[Cue cheesy background music and fade to black]
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