[merylsilverburg]

Originally posted by Cannibal Clown


I think that you should open your eyes mourdor. I know exactly where Meryl is comming from. I take crap like that every day, from more people than you can imagine. Every day for me is hell, at one point or another. I'm a junior too, and though I'm a male, I still have to take that kind of sh*t everywhere I go. Even from people who don't know me. There are a couple of guys who pick on me and tell their friends to pick on me just to get a laugh out of it. They don't even know my name, but lbeing ike the ass holes they are, they do it anyways.

I'm sorry that this kind of stuff happens to you too, Cannibal. I just don't understand what goes through people's minds that cause them to torment others who don't even do anything. People like that (including the shit-heads bugging me) are really just a bunch of friggin' losers because they're too pathetic to go up against...oh, say...popular kids. You notice they only pick on us, the ones who are not so popular, quiet and all. Only because they know we can't fight back.

I can sympathise with you entirely Meryl. Right now there are these couple, oh I mean couple dozen of guys who like to give me crap like that all the time after school and in the halls.

It sucks, doesn't it? I feel even more sorry for you because you're a guy and they're probably treating you worse than me.

What makes it worse is that everyone iun the school knows that I'm not a violent person and that no matter what they do to me, I wont do anything back. But since you are a girl, and a good student, I suggest that you kick 'em accross the face. You wont get in trouble, and I'm sure that they wont fight back. No one would ever fight a girl who is just defending herself. but for me, all have to say is shut up and I'm in danger of getting an ass kicking.

I guess I could try to actually attempt to slap (or punch) the guys across their faces....but I'm just afraid of the reaction of everyone (including my crappy teacher) after I do so, because I don't talk, yell, laugh, or anything while I'm in school. When others see me in this state, they usually see me as quiet, wise, and mature. I'm just afraid that my teacher will see that I do have a violent streak and send me to my dean, because "good students shouldn't behave this way" and they might think that I have a mental problem. You know, like those kids who cause school shootings, because they're always picked on, so they're taking their revenge on the school. I don't want them to see me that way, because teachers talk......and when they talk, everything gets out. Sooner or later, all the teachers will be watching me extra carefully, to see if I outburst or snatch out a gun or something.

But what Mourdor said, there are a lot of sh*t heads in our school, and I've encountered them all. I'm a f*cking junior, and even f*cking freshmen piss me off, and make fun of me. And by now they know i wont fight back, so they spread the word to all of the other freshmen and sophmores in the school that I'm a pussy and that bthey should have some fun and be ass holes to me.

Goddammit! Even the freshmen mess with you?! Omigod, I don't think I can tolerate that....I'd probably never go to school again..

All together it makes my everyday life a living hell. But my high self esteem seems to keep me smiling and not reaching the point of taking matters into my own hands with a gun or something drastic like that.

In fact, I've had dreams whare things like that have happened, and it scares me a lot, because i think that it's my subconsience saying that I'm going to snap and kill someone.

I hope this info helped you realize that there are other people ie. me, who knows axactly how you feel.

Well, I'm glad to hear that you still smile and your self-esteem is very high. But, about your dreams, you could be right; it could be your self-conscience telling you that you need to let out your anger otherwise you might do something terrible to others....or even yourself. This is why I try not to mess with anyone, so that way they'll ignore me. It's been working fine, but now, all this crap has to happen. I've been picked on when I was in elementary school, and it stopped during 6th grade, but when I entered 7th, all these kids just messed with me. But, I just ignored them, and they did stop. And now, I haven't had that much problems until now. The worse part is the teacher wouldn't do anything about it. Goddamn teachers, you know? Even in elementary school, they don't do shit. Thank you for telling me about your problems too, Cannibal. Even if you didn't, I know there are probably tons of people getting picked on at school besides me, so I'm not really surprised about your info, but yet...I also am. I know you're a pretty quiet guy, but I just thought that maybe...I dunno...your friends might come to your defense. Kinda like, you and a couple of other guys can go and beat those punks up or something. As for me.....I have no friends. No one talks to me, no one pays attention to me, I'm basically all alone at school, because I'm much, much different than anyone else. Since I don't have anything in common with everyone, I'm an outcast. So, when I get picked on, people just watch, then ignore it. But, if it was them, a whole bunch of their friends would come and start screaming at those guys to stop.