[Harry]

As Panuru said, you really did not need to justify yourself to us. As you can see, many have left this community: some because of arguments they had with other members, others simply because of the inactivity of the main website - it is normal. This said, I appreciate you took the time to write this thread, and even more that you decided to share with us the things you had to deal with during these years.

I also do not have many friends in "real life", but I have always considered some of you psfantasy.com's old timers as friends, and, in a way, as part of my life. You cannot imagine how often I discuss with Panuru and the others about things some of the members of this community have posted in these forums. You are one of those personalities we have learnt to appreciate the most. Just to make a tiny example, I swear that whenever I see a Wii, I cannot help but think about the post you wrote a while ago about you and your parents playing together with the console, and having fun with it, or about your mother, and then your dad, waiting with you in line to grab a console at launch. These may seem like small things, but there was such a warmth in that thread that made me think you really had a great family. This shows through all your posts, through the way you behave and write, through all the little things one learns to notice when he has been living half his life on the Internet. Your parents seem to have cared about you not only as a son, but also as a person, and this is something so rare (it seems to me that most of the times parents are just strangers or idiots when it comes to take care of their sons) it's worth fighting for, like you are doing.

I know that illness can change a person. We all react in different ways to pain and suffering. On one side, you have the person that's suffering because of the illness, and on the other you have the persons close to her, that care about her, but feel powerless, also because of the increased difficulty in communicating. Pain, affliction, hardships, worries always create a wall around us that's difficult for others to penetrate, a wall that can become fear, and then anger. You are a human being, and you can do little about it. Your anger is a natural reaction, a revolt against the weight life has imposed on your (young) shoulders, so do not blame yourself about it. Just remember that, after all, your anger comes from the simple fact you love your mother. She must know it.

But Panuru already gave you the most precious advice: even in front of the darkest discomfort, protect the things you believe in, the passions that also your parents seem to have encouraged, those things you love and that, in the end, define your personality. Treasure them, always, also for the sake of those that love you.

And do not feel bad because you decided to write this post and ask the help and support of people here. Neruda once wrote:

"Dies slowly he who destroys his self-love,
who does not accept somebody's help."