Here's a few of mine.
Lo! Who is that, rampaging out of the freeway! It is Beretta, hands clutching a burning branch! He grunts apocalyptically:
"I'm going to pummel you into the fourth dimension, then steal your lederhosen!!!"
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Who is that, rampaging through the mountains! It is Beretta55, hands clutching a bladed baseball bat! He screams mightily:
"I'm going to pulverize you until you are hot and bothered, then bake cookies
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Rampaging across the mountains, attacking with a reflective halberd, cometh Matt! And he gives a spectacular roar:
"I'm going to make you cry like the bitchiest bitch!"
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Rampaging along the cliffs, brandishing a studded crowbar, cometh Matthew! And he gives an ominous howl:
"I'm going to contort you like a first grade teacher, then make toast!!!"
By far the third one is my favorite.
I then made this one for a laugh.
Who is that, sprinting amidst the steppes! It is That One Guy Who Was In Stir Of Ehcoes With Kevin Bacon Who Was In Trapped With Charlize Theron Who Was In Reindeer Games With Gary Sinese, hands clutching a reflective halberd! And with a bloodthirsty howl, his voice cometh:
"Hail the blood-letting! I destroy all in my path like a sentient bulldozer!!!"