[Redpyramidhead]

It's 2am and i havent taken my medication yet
It's 2am and i havent taken my medication yet
It's 2am and i havent taken my medication yet
It's 2am and I havent taken my medication yet
It's 2am and I havnet taken any of my medication yet
It's 2am and I havent taken any of my medication yet
It's 2am and I still havent taken any of my medication even though it is apparent that i need it
It's 2am and I still havent taken any of the medication prescribed to me by the doctor because i need it at times like this
It's 2am and I still havent taken the medication that is prescribed to me by the doctor because I have issues that become apparent in my repetitive thinking
repetitive thinking
repetitive thinking
repetitive thinking
repetitive thinking
repetitive thinking
repetitive thinking
repetitive thinking
repetitive thinking
repetitive thinking
i have repetitive thoughts in my mind
i have repetitive thoughts in my mind
i have repetitive thoughts in my mind
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whats up with that person staring thru my window woops theres no one there i am going insane woops i already did what the hell are u looking at i mean what the fuck are you looking at even though you are looking away i find myself staring into the bottom of a well oh wait oh nevermind oh hell i am just sitting here like a leaf with no tree without roots that was never even a seed and didnt have any water to make it grow in the first place i am out of intelligent sounding words these days i feel as though i have got just plain dumb at times other times i feel i am slowing down and a part of my brain is never coming back even though i have seen and heard and prayed too much and all i wanna do is eat something even though i gained 20 pounds since i moved back home im still not fat but i wish i was skinny and physically fit and had some muscles to kick some serious ass with even though i dont need to kick ass right now i just want the ladies to dig my sexy bod buy my appearance is nothing special but atleast im not ugly ok im lying im the coolest mother****** in the word but at the same time im not shining im not showing it im just sitting here in the night tavern and i cant even drink this beer that they gave me cuz its too strong i dont hold my liquor well i better man the fuck up n take my fuckin alcohol or maybe i should just go home i am just a white hispanic living in the middle of the woods with my parents who likes to rap and make hip hop music but has nothing hardcore to talk about except the demons i have been fighting in my mind and the heroic aspect of being a bigger and better man in the process but im just sitting here at the computer and u probably didnt even read this far becuase of the still in which i typed this because there is no punctuation and its all just one gigantic run on sentence not unlike my life at times so i dont know where to stop or to begin or to continue or to finish something important i am working on cuz my mind is constantly in chaos and my thoughts are misfiring and arent getting caught by my neurotransmitters or whatever the fuck that shit is i dont remember because that was back in high school when i studied that shit for that senior project bullshit but now i feel like i dont remember anything i have learned in life and im just relearning the same lessons over n over again like some dumb fuck caught in a rut on the edge of sanity and u dont even know some of u may think im wise or even believe it but i am telling u i am only just figuring out all of this shit even though i had it all figured out before even though theres nothing to figure out because none of this make sense and like i said...

its way past 2am and i still havent taken my medication...

so how smart do u think i am now? like i thought... i have no brain left...


cthen again last night i dreamed i was living my life over and over again for the first time and i had the ability to make the right choices this time...


gnight


_RED_ stuff