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IcyMourdor · Jul 29th, 2005, 09:35 AM

Actually, I just started a new relationship with my new gf, Sarah, about a month ago. So far in this current one, it seems that we are pretty much equal when it comes to control and dominance. There are times when I take control in situations and then there are times I just become the little puppy dog and she takes control.

However, that wasn't always the case. I have had experiences in which I learned that you need to be equal with that in order to be happy.

Case #1: High School Sweethearts

This was back in my senior year of high school. We were friends for about 1 1/2 - 2 years before we started dating. She seemed like a shy person and would be great. It was at first, than I learned. She started to open up with me, which by all means is a great thing, but the person she turned out to be wasn't one I could be with. She would demand all of my free time that I had. I didn't have much. With school, football, and my part-time job, it was hard for me to be able to do that. I would go to school, have practice right after school til 6pm, work until 10-11pm, and then she still wanted me to come over. If I had a day off of work, she would instantly nab me and say we were hanging out. I thought it was cute at first, but when 8 months go by and it hasn't changed, it wasn't good. She would always be the one to decide what was going to be happening and when. I have never met such a controlling woman in my life.

Case #2: Best Friend turned Girlfriend

In a way, this is similiar to the first case. She would always want to spend time together, which is great. However, she was completely willing to be controlled. If I wanted to take advantage and use to for my own will, I probably could have and just left her standing there to obey my commands. I don't want that in a woman. I need some backbone to keep me in line. I am a dork after all.

She is still probably one of my best friends, however, with all her other relationships that I have seen over the past year, things haven't changed, but the guys certainly have been a little more anxious to take advantage of her nature.

In my short 19 years that I have lived, I have learned a couple things about relationships.

-You need to be able to compromise. A relationship is only that if both sides are happy. Find a middle point in which both of you can be happy.
-Be equal. Don't let one side have more control than another. If you feel smothered, say so. Only after something is said will anything change, hopefully for the better.
-Of course, be caring and loving. This person that you are with, your so-called significant other, may be the person that you want to spend the rest of your life with as your husband/wife. You don't want to mess things up and end up without that complete happiness that everyone deserves.

Most of all, be yourself. If something bothers you, change it. No point in being in a relationship if you aren't happy. If something about you turns them off, oh well, he/she isn't the one for you.

Good luck to you and your soul mates.

Jul 29th, 2005, 09:35 AM	#4
IcyMourdor Cream Puff Joined: Jan 2002 Location: Stevens Point, Wisconsin Age: 40 Posts: 2,713	Actually, I just started a new relationship with my new gf, Sarah, about a month ago. So far in this current one, it seems that we are pretty much equal when it comes to control and dominance. There are times when I take control in situations and then there are times I just become the little puppy dog and she takes control. However, that wasn't always the case. I have had experiences in which I learned that you need to be equal with that in order to be happy. Case #1: High School Sweethearts This was back in my senior year of high school. We were friends for about 1 1/2 - 2 years before we started dating. She seemed like a shy person and would be great. It was at first, than I learned. She started to open up with me, which by all means is a great thing, but the person she turned out to be wasn't one I could be with. She would demand all of my free time that I had. I didn't have much. With school, football, and my part-time job, it was hard for me to be able to do that. I would go to school, have practice right after school til 6pm, work until 10-11pm, and then she still wanted me to come over. If I had a day off of work, she would instantly nab me and say we were hanging out. I thought it was cute at first, but when 8 months go by and it hasn't changed, it wasn't good. She would always be the one to decide what was going to be happening and when. I have never met such a controlling woman in my life. Case #2: Best Friend turned Girlfriend In a way, this is similiar to the first case. She would always want to spend time together, which is great. However, she was completely willing to be controlled. If I wanted to take advantage and use to for my own will, I probably could have and just left her standing there to obey my commands. I don't want that in a woman. I need some backbone to keep me in line. I am a dork after all. She is still probably one of my best friends, however, with all her other relationships that I have seen over the past year, things haven't changed, but the guys certainly have been a little more anxious to take advantage of her nature. In my short 19 years that I have lived, I have learned a couple things about relationships. -You need to be able to compromise. A relationship is only that if both sides are happy. Find a middle point in which both of you can be happy. -Be equal. Don't let one side have more control than another. If you feel smothered, say so. Only after something is said will anything change, hopefully for the better. -Of course, be caring and loving. This person that you are with, your so-called significant other, may be the person that you want to spend the rest of your life with as your husband/wife. You don't want to mess things up and end up without that complete happiness that everyone deserves. Most of all, be yourself. If something bothers you, change it. No point in being in a relationship if you aren't happy. If something about you turns them off, oh well, he/she isn't the one for you. Good luck to you and your soul mates. __________________ You will walk in fire, earth, water, and air, through temptation, and at last into despair and desolation.