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happy_doughnut · May 16th, 2005, 05:39 PM

Sorry for the double post. I somehow managed to go over the limit.

Ouch meryl. I'm an unwanted baby. Haha. That's so mean, but so true. As far as I go, I was planned! Although, my dad wanted a boy... and my mom wanted a girl... In their sted, they got me: a hybrid of boy and girl.

So, yeah... they wanted me, dammit! Don't leave me live a vegetable to grow myself. Hmph!

And I don't pity you. I never have. There are many things that are admirable of you, so don't say that. I am sorry that you go through all the things you tell me, not because I pity you, but because I care and I honest to goodness don't believe you desserve them, so I feel bad. Bad because, again, not of pity, but of sadness that it seems as if the better people in this world seem to get battered the most. This is a type of cosmic irony that I will never understand.

And plus, you know that I think you as my friend and by now you ought to know that pity, in my opinion, is a sign of an enemy, not a friend.

If my dad a good dad? I don't know. I don't have another dad to compare him with... but I do feel that he lacks in places. Sometimes he fails to fulfill his role. But even though, I still believe that someday things will seem different. Nothing ever lasts forever. And maybe this will too someday change.

I only have one dad and while he may be the cause of my profane language sometimes, I still love him. I don't know why. I love how Faile put it: it's a strange and tarnished love.

Maybe I'm just another stupid idealist, but I still wait for the day when I get his embrace because I will welcome it.

I think that maybe it takes years of experience to better understand parental love and dis-love. There's a Chinese proverb that say something along the lines of, "To understand your parent's love, bear your own children." Maybe only when the child becomes the mother or father will they better understand what the parents did... the "why" that is always oh, so difficult to answer... for better or for worse. Or maybe all we have to do is age more and understand more the complexities a "real" adult (in age) goes through and how they emit them onto others.

Who knows?

May 16th, 2005, 05:39 PM	#29
happy_doughnut just a rolling stone Joined: Apr 2002 Location: of what? Posts: 1,561	Sorry for the double post. I somehow managed to go over the limit. Ouch meryl. I'm an unwanted baby. Haha. That's so mean, but so true. As far as I go, I was planned! Although, my dad wanted a boy... and my mom wanted a girl... In their sted, they got me: a hybrid of boy and girl. So, yeah... they wanted me, dammit! Don't leave me live a vegetable to grow myself. Hmph! And I don't pity you. I never have. There are many things that are admirable of you, so don't say that. I am sorry that you go through all the things you tell me, not because I pity you, but because I care and I honest to goodness don't believe you desserve them, so I feel bad. Bad because, again, not of pity, but of sadness that it seems as if the better people in this world seem to get battered the most. This is a type of cosmic irony that I will never understand. And plus, you know that I think you as my friend and by now you ought to know that pity, in my opinion, is a sign of an enemy, not a friend. If my dad a good dad? I don't know. I don't have another dad to compare him with... but I do feel that he lacks in places. Sometimes he fails to fulfill his role. But even though, I still believe that someday things will seem different. Nothing ever lasts forever. And maybe this will too someday change. I only have one dad and while he may be the cause of my profane language sometimes, I still love him. I don't know why. I love how Faile put it: it's a strange and tarnished love. Maybe I'm just another stupid idealist, but I still wait for the day when I get his embrace because I will welcome it. I think that maybe it takes years of experience to better understand parental love and dis-love. There's a Chinese proverb that say something along the lines of, "To understand your parent's love, bear your own children." Maybe only when the child becomes the mother or father will they better understand what the parents did... the "why" that is always oh, so difficult to answer... for better or for worse. Or maybe all we have to do is age more and understand more the complexities a "real" adult (in age) goes through and how they emit them onto others. Who knows? Last edited by happy_doughnut; May 16th, 2005 at 05:41 PM..