[merylsilverburg]

Previous message too long...

Originally Posted by happy_doughnut

And personally, I am not one to smile and pretend everything is alright. I hate it and I won't take it. Whenever the situations come up, I walk away or ignore them. I absolutely hate having to pretend I have a super-supper family and lie about it. I won't. If people want to believe it, then they can but I'm not going to be a factor in their misunderstanding. If you can deal with it, then it's admirable because I could not stand it. I mean, I'm not a total ass and sometimes I do say things like, "Yeah, my dad sure does a lot." But I'm not going jump in and say that he's great and awesome if I don't think so.

So no, I don't agree. And I don't think we have to pretend either. Life can suck sometimes but if we are always pretending that it doesn't then we are degrading ourselves that much more.

Is that right? And do you also apply this way of thinking into dealing with the rest of the world/life/careers/etc. as well? If so, well then all I have to say is 'good luck' because if you refuse to pretend that some amount of your life is good or a situation is good when it's not, then you're going to have a very hard time with other people that are not your family or close friends. You are also more likely to get manipulated by people because they all know the way you are: you can't hide your emotions because you refuse to; you don't want to pretend. If you're angry, you're angry, so what? So, you let it out; you show the world. So, when you are at your job and you've got some co-workers who don't like you as much and they see how easily you show your emotions, oh no, they won't think of some way to manipulate you at your most vulnerable point in order to "get your goat." And then, once they do, you blow up/become sad or unfocused/etc. and don't you think that won't cause you to look weak to your boss or your other co-workers?

Originally Posted by happy_doughnut

You know me more than anyone else here and know me a lot better than most overall. My family is large, yes, but at the same time, it's so small. You know how I have never been able to rely on my brothers or sister for affection, partly because they are only my half brothers because of my mom. It's always been that much harder for me. So who do I really have? My mom and dad. And it's hard when you only have two people and one of them can't even be there.

Yes, I understand this and I know all about your family and the rest. I do understand that you could never rely on your brothers and sisters and I do know that you are not very close with them except for your one brother (and even so, not that close). And I do know that you depend or as you said, highly esteem, your parents and I know that it's painful when they, the only two people you rely on, are, well...unreliable. I do understand this, really. Again, not to be all like "Look-at-Meryl's-Situation" but it was the same thing with me when I was younger; out of my family of 4 (including me) I could only rely on my mom and my sister. Of course, I wasn't able to...my mom went through her bouts of depression, losing complete focus on everything and she had to work late, my sister always ran out and stayed out till the wee hours of the morning hanging out with friends to avoid home and she worked late as well, and my dad....well, he does what he does best: cause more problems, yay! So, what else could I do? I relied on myself and I had to take care of myself but it wasn't easy (and let me tell you, without parental assistance, all of these situations caused me to join the bad crowds, if you know what I mean). At these times, I got angry that my mom and my sister were loopy or irresponsible or acting like f*cking retards and I also wished that they were there when I needed them. So yes, I do understand...but at least you have your mom even if your dad is never there. And while it's not exactly what you wanted, you should be very satisfied that at least you have one person who is there for you. And in my opinion, that person is the most important and most worthwhile your care and attention.

Originally Posted by happy_doughnut

However, they are the ones that decided to have children.

Yes, this is true...they are the ones who've decided to have children, so they shouldn't completely disregard their kid when they're the ones who wanted to have a child in the first place. But, some parents don't have a kid on purpose with the intention to abandon them while they're in their teens or whatnot. Situations change; they wanted to have kids because they love kids...they think they would always be there for their kids...but then, something happens which causes them to either not be available for the children or they just begin to lose "interest" <-- horrible thing, but it happens. So whatever the situation may be, blaming our parents with the whole "Well! You're the ones who wanted to have kids!" isn't exactly the right thing to do because you don't know what they intended at the time they wanted to have children.

Originally Posted by Redpyramidhead

Oh wow... what a surprise... neither of them were insulted about what i had to say... and look proof that meryl asked me to look at the thread!? WOW!

_RED_ stuff

Man, just chill out already, okay? Are people not allowed to makes mistakes or something?