[merylsilverburg]

Originally Posted by Redpyramidhead

Meryl told me she had had a "spat" with mena and she was worried about it and she directed me to read this thread so that I WOULD understand what it was about.

Yes, this is true, but perhaps I should've said "misunderstanding" instead of "spat" because I didn't realize the word "spat" would have been mistaken for "fighting" or something very negative like that. This is my fault and I apologize. And yes, I did direct you to read this thread only because it was too complicated for me to sum it up in that little space on those MSN messenger things without interruptions. I didn't think that you would've felt so strongly about this...but then again, I should've known you are very passionate about these things which is why I now regret even filling you in on these things. Stupid me...again, this was my fault and again, I apologize.

Originally Posted by Redpyramidhead

Now, please, I would appreciate it if people wouldn't jump to conclusions about me and the way I try to offer a little help to my friends. Sorry, Rei, if it sounds like I overreacted, but your post was the last thing I expected to see. Makes me wonder how well I am understood by ppl who do not know me better.

There's no need to snap at Rei like that. It's true that she did jump to conclusions without knowing what was really going on, but because she doesn't know you as well or the situation at hand, what else could she expect when you post out something like that? And the part I underlined, well, what do you expect? Of course people who don't know you as well would probably misunderstand you and whatnot.

Originally Posted by happy_doughnut

Overall, however, I see him pretty little. But my point was that he always seems to manage to always miss events that are important for me. What you are telling me is that it is okay because he works and that I have to understand that. Well, I do understand but I do not agree with you for a second.

It was from your very first post which is why I misunderstood your whole thing about "working." The way you said it, about he can never make it because he "has to work" (especially with the quotation marks) left me with the impression that you are unhappy because he "has to work" which, to me, sounds like "Geez, why does he have to work?" sort-of-thing. Naturally, from the sound of things, it makes me angry because, well, you should know how work-obsessed I am and you should know how jobs/careers are extremely important to me, so naturally, I get pissed when people say things like this.

Originally Posted by happy_doughnut

This is all great and good, but he's not the type of dad who will say, "Hey, I'm not working Sunday, wanna go out to eat?" Nope.

And yes, I wish he would do that every now and then. Or maybe not even that, but it would be nice if I'm say, graduating from HS, and he says, "I'll be there." Instead of, "Sorry, can't go. Lemme watch the movie."

I hate how my mom has to do sooo much and my dad so little. I hate how my mom, despite all her worries, always manages to be there when I need her and my dad, well, he just can't.

We never have been that close. But just because we aren't doesn't mean this is the way I want it. Unfortunately, this is the way things are and I can't really do anything about them. I do wish he were there and I hate how work is more important that his only child.

I know he has to work, but he works like crazy. He can't stop. He works as if we had nothing to eat, yet thankfully we do. Sometimes it feels to me that he works in order to not be here because being here is probably more difficult than his work.

Well, no offense, but all these sound like your father isn't really good at being a father (which is what I already said at the beginning) and whether he does care or not, he's not very good at showing it. And if it seems like he cares more about work or enjoys going to work to avoid being with the family (thus equaling having to be "involved" with family matters which, oh, must be so painful for guys like him ), then again, the guy doesn't sound like a very good dad at all. And yes, you and I are extremely different: if it were me, as I've said in previous posts, I would even care about the guy at all. I wouldn't care whether or not he's there, whether or not he's alive or dead, whether or not he really loves us, etc. Yes, I am pretty much cold-hearted and you are not, because you actually wonder or care about these things...I just didn't realize that you genuinely are as sensitive as you say because I always knew you were a strong person, but I guess you are only strong at certain situations (this is not an insult, by the way, so please do not misunderstand me).

Originally Posted by happy_doughnut

And you know, I am so sorry you go through all those things.

First off, I don't really give a flying f*ck whether people "feel for me" or "feel sorry that I went through stuff" because I honestly wouldn't even say all that about my own father or situations if it were not for this situation where I was trying to make a point (meaning, I used my own past experiences in order to explain my points better). There are plenty more things that have happened that I won't share because why should I? They're my things and they're my troubles, what's the need to share them with the entire world or even close friends, for that matter? And do not think for one second that I am describing all my past experiences as a "pity-me" act because I cannot stand these sort of things or people who do this so I would never do this myself.

Originally Posted by happy_doughnut

And it's great that you have the strength, but don't think that you are the only one that can handle it. I can too and I have handled it. Because I post about my dislike makes me somehow immature? I don't think so.

Originally Posted by happy_doughnut

We never have been that close. But just because we aren't doesn't mean this is the way I want it. Unfortunately, this is the way things are and I can't really do anything about them. I do wish he were there and I hate how work is more important that his only child.

As for you saying "don't think that you are the only one that can handle it. I can too and I have handled it" and the underlined part...alright, so you have the strength to handle these situations and have handled it and if things are the way they are and there's nothing you can do about it...then why do you feel so saddened by it still? You should be used to it by now and have gotten stronger or have more strength to deal with it and know that this is the way it is so what's the point of being sad or unhappy? There are other people who are in the same situation (not necessarily father-related things) of either having to accept/deal with the events at hand or just shrivel up and not do anything and you know what? They would have to choose the first option. Why? Because that's the way life is, you either accept it or you don't. If you choose to accept it, then don't complain or feel emotional because you yourself have chosen it. If you don't accept it, then fine, complain all you want, but don't go around blaming others because you chose not to accept it. It's the same thing with women who believe their boyfriend/husband/fiance/etc/ will "change over the years." *cough* my mom *cough* Hello? The guy is never going to change, why can't you accept it? But no, they believe the guy will change, then when he doesn't, they go off and complain about it but refuse to accept the choice they made to be with the guy, but blame the fact that the guy never changed.