[merylsilverburg]

Originally Posted by Spank-A-Thon

However, if a woman is offended by being called "love", "sweetheart" or "babe" then I'm sorry but it is over-sensitive. These are terms of endearment that are used by both sexes frequently.

In many shops the asisstants will refer to me as "love" - there's one girl who works in the local McD's who refers to people as "babe".

I totally agree with you 100% that certain actions are not to be tolerated and can be deemed offensive, but some actions and words are nothing more than a way of life. I don't know about where you live, but here in the North of England the word "love" is used all the time by people, irrespecitve of sex.

Ah but you see, that's in England and it's normal for those terms to be used. I mean, if I were to go to England and have someone say that to me, I wouldn't be offended since it's a common term...nothing to get worked up about.
But, here in the States, there aren't many people who use "hon" or "love" or "babe" as non-sexual. Older people, yes (like, the other day, an older woman referred to me as "Hon" but that didn't disturb me) but not younger ones, unless they're brought up differently. A lot of men in the States tend to use "babe" as in "Damn, you're hot! I want some of that". Or "honey" or "sweet cheeks" or "baby", etc. Yes, it's true that couples use it but that's 'cause they're couples...they're using these as pet names with each other.
But as I said before, younger people use it at times, but it depends on the person. If the person, male or female, use "hon" or "babe", you'll just have to see what the person is like...whether they're coming onto you or something.

Originally Posted by Spank-A-Thon

The problem was you titled the post "Women are not meat" and then bashed the male of the species. You can't expect us to not respond. If you'd have told us about your experience in a different way I'm sure you would have had everyone offer their support - but unfortunately your words when read looked like a rip on men.

I think you'll find, in essence we all agree that there is no place for certain behaviours irrespective of sex.

- S

I'm afraid I agree with Spank. We couldn't possibly know that you've been harassed like that Mena, so there isn't any way we could understand your title or your post...we took it as a rant against males. I mean, I know you don't like to share much problems, but this something we shouldn't expect to know from the beginning. I'm sure that many people support and understand you now that you've revealed it to us...and I'm very sorry to hear that you had to go through such a terrible experience.

Originally Posted by Spank-A-Thon

First off, I'd like to say "hear hear" for Red - women are just as bad as men, equally obsessed with looks if not even more so. I have never told a girl to her face that she was ugly - however I have had derogatory remarks made to me directly by females.

Yes, well...women tend to be more cruel, heh.

Originally Posted by Spank-A-Thon

Secondly, is it really that bad to be told you're nice, attractive, whatever? Would you prefer a life of being ignored, never complimented no matter how crass the remark? Sure, there are limits - but I hardly think a wolf-whistle or "Hey baby" is offensive (unless you're stupidly over sensitive).

Uh..well...I'm not overly-sensitive but if I were to get a wolf-whistle or a "Hey baby", I'd say I would be stunned/irritated. That's because women don't really know whether these remarks are actual genuine compliments or if these guys are just saying it just to "get some". Women do have to protect themselves. Of course, there are dumb women who fall for it and get screwed over, but that's another story.
For me, I'd say the best compliment would be to get a "look" (not like, bulging eyes and very obvious movement of eyes, but more a side/hidden glance)...not actually a voiced out opinion...but that's just me though, everyone's different.

Originally Posted by Spank-A-Thon

Finally, if anyone thinks that men hold the power then they are completely wrong. When it comes to the battle of the sexes, the women hold all the Aces in the pack.

OMG, how friggin' true!! Women do take control of the reins in a relationship (with the exception of those balanced, "We're equal" couples). Men are so casual (at times) and women are more sly and/or cunning. Seriously, I couldn't agree more. I haven't seen a couple in a while where the man is actually the "man" of the relationship.
In the restaurant where I work, there's about 88% of the couples that come in where the women dominate. It's always: "Get this!" "Get that!" "Order this! I want this!" "Don't order that, I don't like that dish!" "Don't get that, it's too fattening and I'm on a diet!" "Get a carry-out box!" "Tell her I want to order that...GO ON! Tell her!"......hey, why don't they goddamn do it for themselves if they're so great?! And then, there are some where the guy *tries* to take charge and the girl is like "Go sit down, I'll order!" and the guys sit down!! And it ends up the chick orders something the guy doesn't like but OH! They eat it anyway in fear of the wrath of their so-called "significant" other. What the f*ck is that about? And these are the so-called "sweet feminine girls"...please...they're such losers they have to get a guy where they can use as a toy since they can't get someone with real opinions and a mind of their own. Sure, it may be "no big deal" to some but I have to see and hear it everyday, so I get very irritated...especially since I can't stand those women to begin with.

Originally Posted by Spank-A-Thon

Men are constantly competing to gain the attention of some female out there. They wear certain clothes, drive certain cars, wear certain aftershave all for this reason.

That's true, but it goes with the old ritual of "courtship" or "wooing" a girl. It's always that the male tries to win the attention/affection of the female and this ideology has passed on to the modern times. Okay, maybe it's not so strongly but it's there. Women tend to like it when a guy tries to do something to gain their attention...it's because it seems they're actually honest about trying to be with the female (not all, mind you) and they're "worthy" (yes, this is where the problem with women come in). Women have high-standards and guys are supposed to live up to these. Of course, I'm not saying this is right, but it's just a fact.

Originally Posted by Spank-A-Thon

If a woman was to walk in a room and ask for sex, most of the time she would not be short of offers. If a male was to do the reverse, I think the success rate would be much lower.

Well, if a women were to ask for sex right there the minute they walk into a room, other females wouldn't say "Oh yeah, you GO girl!", it's more of a "Wow, what a slut/wh*re/ho/skank, etc." Sure, guys would line up but that's 'cause guys...well....are a lot more into sex than females. So if a man were to do the same, it wouldn't be successful since women tend to be more restrained (not thinking of sex constantly)and never do such "indecent" acts. Of course, there are women who'd line up for sure if a guy were to say "let's get it on". These are certain type of women which I won't go into.

Originally Posted by Spank-A-Thon

All you need to do is think of the sheer amount of ways time and money is gotten from men in order to have anything to do with an attractive female.... Porn, lap dancing, buying drinks in a bar, dating, flowers, gifts and so on.....

Omg, who said that female porn stars, strippers, or lap dancers are attractive? I mean, they're ugly as hell to me, but I guess that's just me. This was a bit of a bad example to use since I know that some females don't consider these women to be "hot" or gorgeous. But I know that guys do, so I can't really criticize you. But the rest of what you said (buying drinks, dating, flowers, chocolates, jewelry, etc.), yes it's true but women have it tough too (and not just on the attractive factor). Yes, this is where I defend for females:

Women have to not blow up to the size of a football stadium otherwise it's "Bye Bye!" or "Omigod, what happened?". We have to remain attractive at all times which leads to taking forever in the bathroom (and not just piling on cosmetics)...but guys complain about us taking so long. And when we don't feel like looking attractive, it's like "Oh man, people'll think I'm going out with a slob!". Some females have to tone down their "tomboyishness" otherwise men freak out thinking "I don't wanna date a girl who can kick my ass!" either in sports or games or whatever. Women have to play down their smarts and act dumb/play helpless (admitted, a lot of females are naturally just brainless) just so the man won't feel intimidated. A lot of females are expected to like/love/want kids and when they don't, the first reaction is "ALRIGHT!" for a while, but later it's "How come?" when the guys actually wants kids later on. And there are some more, but I can't think of them right now.

Originally Posted by Spank-A-Thon

You do realise that 90% of all DIY tasks by men are performed under the promise of sexual favours?

Yes but there are times when it's so the guy can have an ego or confidence boost. It makes them feel "needed" and "smart". And who says that females don't ask guys to help them on purpose so they can also "repay" the sexual favors?