[merylsilverburg]

Originally Posted by happy_doughnut

Suppose you find your self in a setting/situation in which you're with someone - anyone, be it a friend, family member, school mate, boy/girl friend, ect., and a problem arises... and you want to "talk" it over, so as to clear things out, but the other person does not want to; what, then, do you do? What is your reaction? Are you worried? Are you frustruated? How do you feel?

Do you find it annoying and/or pestering that you honestly do want to work out whatever differences/problems may be in need of fixing, but find out that the other person prefers to not talk about it, or respond with the oh-so-annoying "nothing's wrong"? Or... are you like this? Do you prefer to evade the problem in hopes that things will cool down by themselves?

I don't know... I just find it interesting how people have so many different reactions and approaches to things of this sort. If you are one of the people that get frustruated with these things (like myself!), do you stick around despite your vexation, or are you more brash and say "Well, fine - goodbye!" and leave until the other individual approaches you? If you tend to do the latter (and even if you don't), what do you think of people that react in this manner? Is it right or is it not? Is maturity a factor in things like these? If so, by whom is the immaturity displayed?

Just curious.

Interesting topic Mena. Well, here are my thoughts:

In some ways, I get frustrated when the other person doesn't want to talk about their problems when it is something in need to be discussed; something trivial isn't a big deal to me. The only reason why I get annoyed/frustrated is because letting out your problems or thoughts can be relieving and can sometimes help you see your problem/solution more clearly. I don't like it when people (particularly those who try to figure it out for themselves but in the end need help) refuse to talk things through but keep dropping little hints of "Oh...I don't need help...it's is a big problem though".
However, I can't say I get very irritated because there are times that when the other person doesn't want to talk about it, I can understand and just let them be. Only because I know what kind of person they are and their ways of dealing/handling the problem they're in. These people are the genuine types that feel too proud or the types that truly can figure it out or the types that will eventually figure the solution out on their own.
So, when the other says "Nothing's wrong" I figure what type of person they are and either let them be or inquire once more or a few more times just to be sure. And finally, I would say "Okay, but if there's anything wrong I'm here to listen" and leave it at that. As for myself, I am more of the type that says "Nothing's wrong" or "There are a few problems but no worries" only because I don't think my problems are so big that they need to be discussed or handled with another person. And because, for me, I tend to feel that the solutions to my problems (the small things) will come to me eventually. Though I appreciate their concern, if I can figure it out on my own, then so be it. Another thing is because it depends on what the other person I am speaking to is like. If they're the type that tends to stress out on other's problems, I don't like to burden them with my useless ordeals. If they're the type that doesn't give good advice though they claim so, I don't share only because I know I get the same advice they give to the rest of the people. If they're the type who says they understand many problems and in reality don't, I don't share because they won't "get" it and thus will think my issues are worthless.
As with those who tend to get frustrated with the other (the ones who say "Nothing's wrong") I don't blame their reaction of getting irritated. It's pretty common to get annoyed when you care about the other and would like to genuinely help them and they refuse your help. If it were me, I would be frustrated, but I would stick around for a while...because sometimes, the other may want to find the solution on their own but give up and turn to you. I wouldn't really say "Fine goodbye!" immediately just because the other doesn't want to talk about their problems at that moment or later on. I would only do that to those who say they don't need help but continues to talk about "What a huge dilemna they're facing" and "complains" about it.
For my thoughts on people who react in the brasher way, I wouldn't say they're immature but would categorize them in two types: the ones who care and gets frustrated easily or the ones who tend to lack understanding of human nature. I say this because those who tend to react in a harsher, colder way are most likely the ones who care about the other very much...in such a way where they get annoyed that the other refuses their help...almost as if the other doesn't trust them. Because, if you trusted the other person, you would ask for their help/advice, right? With the ones that lack human understanding, I say this because if you reacted quickly without thinking of the other person's personality, then you might not have such a understanding of the way people work. Because, there are people who really don't need help or don't want the help (even if they do trust you) but if you fail to see this part of the other person, then you haven't really "studied" or "understood" them. However, this isn't to say that the ones who say "Nothing's wrong" aren't at fault as well. Because, if you were a person who's more aloof and "let my solution come to me" then you might have to let the other know (I mean, really let the other know since they're the types that need to know) that you have some problems but they're no biggie. And even if they were pretty major, you would be able to handle it. And these types sometimes really need to just let their pride go and just accept the help when needed. I know, because I am very proud but when I need the help, dammit, I will let someone help me.

Well, that's it.