I am thinking i did way too much drinking last night..i was so drunk that i decided to walk 5 miles down to the gas station to steal more booze with my partner in crime andrew parker.. we got tired and decided to turn around.. but not before incurring some damage on surrounding property.. there was a farm truck with keys in it.. so i took the keys out and threw them into a huge puddle.. haha.. take that ******s!
then i ripped a road sign out of the ground and threw it into the woods... took several urination breaks... on peoples property such as homes and cars and lawn gnomes... then got home.. finished up what beer was here... then watched toy story 2... had to go potty... and woke up this morning with my underwear around my ankles sitting on the john.. i guess i never got up... hahahaha.. yes kids.. this is why you dont drink!