[Redpyramidhead]

Here is the first part of chapter four. Be sure to read all previous chapters in order if you haven't already and even if you have try reading them again so that the story continues to present itself in your mind as a whole. There's a reason for this. Enjoy guyz. The next portion should be up soon, as well. Also, I am planning on doing some major editing. PEACE



Chapter 4 - Reawakenings



Physically, I did not see anything I did not expect to see. My face looked as I thought it would, only not as quite as bad. There were deep blackened areas underneath my sunken in eyes, which had their own somewhat bloodshot characteristic to them. I needed a shave. Extra whiskers on my face in this unkept fashion did not add any character to my look, even though a woman from long ago that I had loved had tried to convince me otherwise. Was that another lifetime? Everything felt like it was from another lifetime in front of a mirror to me. Especially this one. It and I had developed a love/hate relationship over the years. It was always careful to remind me of my faults even on a much deeper than superficial level when I showed the slightest hint of a good mood when looking into it. It knew. It knew me inside and out like a bad inside joke every time, even if that joke was known by neither of us. It was my face that stared back at me after all.

The events of the morning began to get lost in time as things did tend to do when I stared back at my reflection. Then I would find myself almost feeling like I was staring back through my reflection at me. Then maybe it was me looking back at my reflection that was me looking back through it at myself and then so on until it was a game of infinite that couldn't be won, and in the end neither side did. In the end, maybe no reality on either side of the mirror was more real than the other and the things being told on one side were no less important than the messages being shown on the other. The previous incident with the little girl in it's entirety suddenly felt like something that must have happened before today, as well. Was the memory of the same event happening the first time, which I could almost swear by in my mind at this point, actually a premonition of it occuring ahead of time? I would often feel this way about events that had happened to me later on and it would happen most often when staring through and through myself in that mirror. I let it go again, like I normally did. Suddenly, all I could think of was how wonderfully deserving I would be of a sound night's sleep that night if I could just make it through the long hard day at work. It was time to snap out of it all and do what I did best, which was to waste time until I could be lazy again. A time when I could become nother more than another inanimate object in my apartment, of which there were plenty of.


***


It was about 9:30pm. The watch on my wrist reflected the lights on the ceiling of the elevator, which did its best to keep its ancient monster of a rattling from keeping nervous passengers heading to their various floors from deciding to take the stairs in the future. It needed a purpose just like anything else, after all. Things that are invented for a certain purpose and then forgotten and never used again tend to die a slow and lonely death that my involve rusting, the gathering of mold, or anything else time can throw its way. Despite the thought, though, I had no sympathy for this elevator. It had given everybody in the building way too much trouble.

After it rumbled to a stop at the floor my apartment was on and I had gone through the doors, I had the distinct sensation that something was waiting for me right there in front of me and had indeed been waiting for a long time, but nobody was there. I called out in a nervois voice several times before I fumbled with the keys to my apartment door and managed to step through, locking the door behind me. I was suddenly very paranoid. Apparently, the safe haven from this paranoia was not my apartment, but instead the exact opposite effect was taking hold upon me. Somebody or something, was waiting for me and asking for me to do something to solve it's discomfort, but not in so many words. In fact, nothing spoke any words, which was just as well or I would have wondered if I indeed was losing it, but I could feel the strong emotion of need of attention of some kind, nonetheless. I found my way to the bathroom, despite the steady increase of emotional noise in my head. I wondered if my mirror were laughing at me as I popped pills once again right in it's face for it to see. Right in my face. I couldn't hide from my weakness as it mocked me. I never could.

Violent shaking was taking over my body and my consciousness now. Emotions were shoutin inside my head in opposite directions misfiring and bouncing of the walls of my sanity, each time dealing a deadly blow to my nerves.

"Ack! Whaaatttt....." I was salivating my words and drooling them out pathetically onto the floor. "I need...neee....siiileennnce..."

And then for some unknown reason to me at the time, as I felt compelled to turn to the forgotten door on the opposite end of the bathroom. It was nothing more than a gaping black hole.............................................. .

TO BE CONTINUED...

Stay tuned, guyz...

_RED_ stuff