The Funniest Thing I Heard Was.......
 

What was the funniest thing you ever heard, or of been told about. It could be from a movie or book. I want a little humor in my life, so make me laugh.

Ive never heard anything funny yet, except for Austin Powers.
:laugh:

It is not the funniest thing I've ever seen or heard, but it's quite funny to look at:

https://digilander.libero.it/zoein/kitty.jpg

I'll think of something better... later... :heh:

the funniest thing i heard was a long time ago, these guys rented a hotel while they were on a trip. they left for a while and when they came back they found all their stuff moved around, nothing was missing though. then when they went back home, they developed their camera's film a week later and found pictures of the ppl who worked at the hotel shoving their toothbrushes up their butts. i read it on cnn a long time ago

An email someone sent me...
 

EVER WONDER...
...why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?
...why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?
...why you don't ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?
...why "abbreviated" is such a long word?
...why doctors call what they do "practice"?
...why you have to click on "Start" to stop Windows 98?
...why lemon juice is made with artificial flavour, while
dishwashing liquid is made with real lemons?
...why the man who invests all your money is called a broker?
...why there isn't mouse-flavoured cat food?
...who tastes dog food when it has a "new & improved" flavour?
...why Noah didn't swat those two mosquitoes?
...why they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
...why they don't make the whole plane out of the material used for the indestructible black box ?
...why sheep don't shrink when it rains?
...why they are called apartments when they are all stuck together?
...if con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?
...why they call the airport "the terminal" if flying is so safe?

>AND...
>
>In case you need further proof that the human race is doomed because
of
>stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer
goods...
>
>On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. (darn, and that's
the
>only time I have to work on my hair).
>
>On a bag of Fritos: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary.
>Details inside. (the shoplifter special?)
>
>On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (and that

>would be how???....)
>
>On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (but,
>it's "just" a suggestion).
>
>On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside
>down." (well...duh, a bit late, huh)!
>
>On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after
heating."
> (...and you thought????...)
>
>On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (but
>wouldn't this save me more time?)
>
>On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate
>Machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce

>the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those
>5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)
>
>On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (and...I'm
taking
>this because???....)
>
>On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only."

>(as opposed to...what?)
>
>
>On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use."
>(now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)
>
>On Sainsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (talk about a news
>flash!)
>
>On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet,
eat
>nuts." (Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)
>
>I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one: On a
>child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable
you
>to fly."
>
>On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands
or
>genitals." (...was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)

Piggle :roll:
x x x x

:laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

*tears of laughter*
Oh those are funny, including Fortune's cat thing.
Man I have been waiting to laugh like that in a long time.
I'll try to find something funny on the net also.

https://www.imagestation.com/picture/...d/fc938534.jpg

~its really huge, but let it load up.

https://starterupsteve.servepics.com:...terghogday.jpg

~hehe gopher...

https://starterupsteve.servepics.com:...er_support.jpg

~yep, its true

https://starterupsteve.servepics.com:...Battleship.jpg

~Canada joins the War Against Terrorism

https://starterupsteve.servepics.com:...nobinladen.jpg

~So does the Soprano Family.

https://starterupsteve.servepics.com:.../wankmeoff.jpg

~Whos says "Countdown" is dull?!

https://starterupsteve.servepics.com:...unny4/4094.jpg

Anyone know what these are and where to get em?!

If anything here is too "rude" or not allowed, just tell me or break the link.

ROFL mark0! Some of these pics are really amazing!
The kitties' one is also freakin' awesome! :laugh:

Funniest movie I saw was probablt Robin Hood: Men in Tights, it's the one with Dave Chapelle and Mel Brooks. Been a while since I've seen it, my favorite part is when Robin Hood finds Achu. I like how whenever anyone says his name they say "bless you". It looks like Army of Darkness is very funny, I've only seen the first 30 mins and the last five.

Any Kevin Smith movie.

Kevin Smith (aka Silent Bob) has some of the funniest scripts. Mall Rats, Dogma, Chasing Amy, Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back. They are all good.

Interesting site, artist. At first, I was a bit annoyed when I entered because I thought this site was created to make fun of the Japanese/Chinese, but after reading the FAQ, I was pleased to know the creator has lived in Japan for a long time and that the site isn't created to make fun of them. Looking through, there are some funny mistakes, but they're pretty normal to me.

Omg, I thought I was the only person who saw this movie and thought it was funny. :shock: This film is great, really hilarious IMO. :laugh:

EDIT: https://starterupsteve.servepics.com:...unny4/4094.jpg

mark0: These cute little guys are called Domo-kun and they were really popular in the US around 2000/2001 especially in New York. Domo-kun originally from Japan, started off as the "spokesperson" for a TV ad (I think) and it quickly became a popular "icon" in Japan. I'm not sure where to get these guys, but you can try Ebay.

Thats my favorite parody movie. "We're men... We're men in tiii-ights... We roam around the forest looking for fights..." "Fights!" "Fights" *Pow* "We're men... We're men in tiii-ights... Call us pansies and we'll put out your lights!"

https://www.millaj.net/rem/files/0837.jpg
:laugh:
not the funniest thing i have ever seen but i like it:D

and robin hood: men in tight's is a awsome movie.

You forgot Clerks? Did you not like it?
Love Kevin Smith! Have all films and Movie posters! yey! Snoochie boochie!

Piggle :roll:
x x x x

p.s You should Check out Emo Philips Quotes, He's so funny!

Clerks is a great film, saw it a little while back. That Adult video his friend watched... lol! How Gross! And the Snowball!!! :blergh: lol.

Thanks for the info Meryl, Thanks a lot actually :happy:

Well, I wouldn't be one of those people. I also thought that movie was funny, it's nice to know that there's finally a movie I've started talking about that people ahd actually seen and liked it. I've downloaded the Men in Tights song and the two Sherwood Forest Raps. I loved part of the end of the movie, I think Dave Chapelle is great in this movie.

That's true...but most of the Japanese in English speaking countries aren't on written form. I mean, if you think about it, using romanji (using the English alphabet to write Japanese) to write Japanese isn't really funny. They're just more like spelling errors. However, using English in Japan is more "ha ha" because of the improper sentence structure and words they chose. Like that McKinley Bag....:nerv:

Yes, that was my main concern too. I mean, the Japanese aren't stupid but because they don't feel like asking an American to proof-read their stuff, it turns out awful. Also, the Japanese have pride in their abilities and they feel that asking for help is a "shame" (believe me, I've seen it :roll: )

I hope so too because the content on the site is pretty funny. Like that candy "Dew Dew"....omg...:heh:

funniest thing ive seen is-




French rifle, never fired, dropped once. -EBAY.