The Advice Thread
This thread has been inspired by eli who seems to have such a knack of giving advice. If you have a problem and you feel like sharing it with us.. put it in here and then the rest of us can post our advice.. So post your problems and we'll try to help! :D
Piggle :roll: x x x x p.s Now obviously people wont have problems all the time so if this does happen to slip into the unknown..when you do have a problem try to remember to dig this thread out of the unused pile. :) Alternatively it could be made a sticky but that is up to the mods. |
Re: The Advice Thread
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My advice:
Dont give advice if you dont follow your own But since I an so hardhead myself I never bother to follow advice myself until its way too late... That's what I hate about myself, my ego gets too big at times. :disturb: |
Unfortunately (heh,) as a lot of you may know, I also like to give advice. But more importantly, and I'm sure eli knows this since she has probably been this way herself for a while, listening is the biggest part of it. I know I have constantly felt compelled to help others for a while myself. A lot of my teens and all of my adult life (albeit relatively short so far.) It is very tough to be this way at times because of the balance of being able to deal with your own problems at the same time and not letting other's problems depress you so badly that you fall behind in your own life. Therein lies the key, though. If you can find that balance not only will things that solely have to do with yourself, but with that and others' issues, one can become more productive and in a better state of mind to help people as well. It is so hard to find this balance for me and i know for anybody else who feels the same way as me, but I wouldn't want to be a different person. I am proud of who I am and as long as somebody can remind me every now and then that my efforts are atleast a little bit noble than I am happy with myself and the job I am doing. And, as cliche as this sounds, I just want everybody to feel happiness in their lives. Especially, in the places where it is so hard for me to feel happiness sometimes. I know what it is like.
_RED_ stuff |
And a great person you are red! ;)
I'm a good listener.. and I try to give advice, I dont think i'm that good at giving advice, I usually just tell the person what they know already! lol Piggle :roll: x x x x |
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I do try to follow my own...and maybe that is why i am and act like this.... And Red...you have no idea how much you and i are alike in this matter...;) |
I think... everybody's able to give advice, but as Chara said, only few are able to give advice they could follow as well. This doesn't mean the people who don't follow their own advice are not giving it with sincerity, only that maybe they are good at listening and speaking good old common sense, but then they don't try to "walk in someone else's shoes" when needed. It's very important to feel with some intensity the other person's problem before you can give good advice, an advice you know the other could follow because you would follow it being in the same situation. But most of the time we just try to say clever things, not caring much if the other person in a particular situation finds them useful or not. Some people even find irritating when they give advice and others don't follow it for various reasons. Isn't this way of acting irritating? In this attitude there's the arrogance to say "I gave you advice, which is what you wanted, now don't make me waste my precious time anymore and do what I said. My advice is the only way for you to solve this". I hate when people do that, that's a good reason to m e to rarely ask for advice of any kind.
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I usually am the one who asks for advice and then instead of following it waits for the other person to help me solving the problem... but I do it only with persons I know very well, so the rest of the world doesn't have to be worried about it :P
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I think it is interesting how this thread sort of turned into a discussion on advice0giving itself, but I think that is a good thing because it is an important topic. If Eli or Piggle want to change it back they can.
I thought I would add something to this discussion in the meantime, though. One thing that I have learned over the years about giving advice is that in most cases you kind of have to present them more as suggestions and let the person know that you are only offering suggestions and that you may not have the answers for their particular problem, but based on what you've heard "here are some things you can try if you want." At that point, it is up to the person who takes or leaves the advice whether they feel justified in blaiming you or not and there is not much you can do. Plus, I am constantly worried about the advice I'm giving being good enough that I probably couldn't in another way. All one can do is help the other find their own answers really, and even that is hard to do without making a mistake. It is very hard for both the person seeking advice and the person giving it in any case. Actually, advice IS suggestions, otherwise it would be a bunch of commands and that would in a way defeat the purpose of truly trying to help others. _RED_ stuff |
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_RED_ stuff |
Well let me clear up some things...i think that this all started because i was giving my opinion about certain matters to certain people on this forum but i don't consider that i was giving real advices i was just showing my point of view about it...it's not like i said do you want an advice then do this or do that...no i just did and said my opinion maybe some of you think that that is giving advice i personnaly think that i was just trying to pull up some people who at the time i thought needed a chear up of some kind.... ;)
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This thread should be about giving advice in general...IMO. But it somehow distorted a bit...;) |
Advice can be given by anyone, often it is givin or asked for by someone that can be trusted. It is easier to follow if you trust the person giving it, also not all adivce is correct thats why its called advice, it is an opinion not somebody telling somebody else what they have to do. Advice can be made easier through experiance just like most things. IMO it also helps to comfort a person if they seek advice.
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