Need some advice, guys...

[happy_doughnut]

Well, I've been coming to this board for a few years now, and throughout the stime span I have made many precious friendships. Because of these friendships, and also by the simple notion of my being here and yours, too, I think many of you know me a little more intimately now than back in 2002, when I first joined. It is because of this that I think many of you here know how I can be such an, oh, I don't know... WORRYWART!!

I am ever unduly worrying about this and that to the point where I can't sleep, eat, think about anything else, and so on.

Now, why am I posting this? Because I am at a point in my life were I am worried and distressed beyond belief! Why?

This is the year where I must decide which university I want to go. I know this may not seem like a big deal to some, but if you know me even a little, then you probably understand that it is for me.

I remember I used to rant just about everyday about my crappy high school days. When it passed, I came and ranted about the extensive work load of college and how I still didn't like school. In short, you all got to know of my extreme dislike for school and came to know that the main reasons for me sticking with it where two:

1.) My parents - More than twice I have expressed my sincere value and care for my parents. More than twice I have told about their abundant appreciation of school, and more than twice I have admitted to you that going to school and graduating from a good university is the way I feel I will finally make them proud. And you know how "making my parents proud" is my lifelong dream.

2.) I am a sucker. I have no "special" abilities for anything. Nothing! I'm not good at anything naturally, meaning that only by studying am I "good" at X, Y, or Z. Knowing this, I know that if I don't go to school, I will become a big nobody, lost and maltreated by life because of my lack of special skills and ability. So I know that even though I don't like it, I have to.

My worry now is that I don't really know where I want to go. Well, I digress; I do know. In mind, I have always kept these three universities: Univeristy of California Berkeley, University of California Los Angeles and the University of Southern California (USC, which has been dubbed "University of Spoiled Children"). The first two are (relatively good) public schools in California, one being in the south where I live (LA) and the other in the north (Berkeley). Getting into either of these two would be more than great. The latter, though, is a private school, meaning that I would need a whole lotta $$$ to survive. Money I just don't have. It had always been my dream, but I'm giving up on it, seeing as the ones who go there are the rich boys and girls sporting Abercrombie and Fitch and carrying wads of cash in their purses. It's too much for me.

So, I have decided on these universities, but now I am (horribly) worrying about these two things:

1.) That I won't get into any of them and
2.) That I was just informed I need to declare a major... and I have NO idea whatsoever of what I want to do!

I just think, "I'm not smart enough" and "My grades are probably not good enough" and "Why would they pick someone dumb with dumby grades, while they can choose Mr. X?" I'm going crazy with self-doubt. And then I have to write an essay... and I think: "What if I write crap? What if I completely mess up on the syntax!!"

:cry:

And then the even bigger problem: God, I do NOT know what I want to do. Some of you know my extreme heart-felt desire to help people. I love it. I would LOVE to sit down with them and discuss any problems they may be undergoing. So for the longest time I considered going into psychology, either clinical/therapeudic psychology or medical psychiatry (just in case I want people to think I'm smart). So, okay: I took an introductory psychology class this semester and it sucked major ass! Sooo boring! The professor taught straight from the book. I never even went after the second week! I just read the text, went and took the exams. What crap. Total disillusioment right there.

I have also always had this (secret) want to have my own magazine (which, of course, you will ALL subscribe to, right?!). But as writing books, I think that no one will buy them. What if no one likes my magazine? What if I get all poor and starve to death? Yes, I admit that English is my strong point. I can write okay, I guess, but then I see other's writing and I realize mine is mediocre. It's true, in my head I am always fighting monsters, escaping from jail cells, casting spells, saving the world, and what not and because of this, some have suggested that I pledge myself a writer and wing it. With hope, of course. But, omigod... what if I fail? (Yes, by now my fear of failure is clearer than the polluted water of SoCal.)

I need to pick... ASAP because next Fall, I must double on classes pertaining to that major. But I am so confused... and sad because I feel like I won't get into a good university... and to end up in a CalState would just prove that I did fail... again. I already fucked up royally in HS; I can't do it again, guys. My heart sinks to think I won't get into the unis. I want. It sinks.

Me... a psychologist giving people therapy, trying to help, a magazine editor (owner :p) writing a variety of things so as to engulf a variety of ages, or an author writing the crazy stories in my head.

Which? How do I know (and please don't tell me to "look within myself" Chewbacca style)? I need advice, opinions, (kind) words to help out... pu-lease!

Thanks! :D

[MADRUCKIS]

wha?

why do you need to pick a major? did I miss something when I read I'm sorry but no school should be forcing you to declare a major until a certain amount of credits are reached. Well thats how I went through school and how it is here........you can liberal for 1 year and some, and then declare. But if theres something different on your side...

and next point..special abilites? you obviousely have the special ability to worry and regretting lol. Sheeet, if that was a special ability..you'd have to roll me around in a wheel chair around the academy of students ready to fight magneto.

next point....parents. I wish I could divorce mine, but I cant. They think big for oyu and try not to put stress but the pressure is always there. Heres something to realize...dont count you parents as a factor when chosing your future. Dont feel like a failure if you fall short of what you want to give to family. True family supports you on your shortcomings and praises you on advancements. Bosses on the other hand....you are a failure if you dont meet standards and true bosses only support advancements....your family isnt a job that you can be fired from.

next point.....psych was crap eh? lemme share something
<-------------6 years of college experience
your major classes wont always be the most interesting. The simple reasoning that "Well Ilike the subject so I'll do good in it." is bantha poodoo. I was a marketing major....I always believed I could sell air conditioners to eskimos but out of all the marketing classes I took, only 1 was interesting to the point where I liked it. The rest were crap. Why? Because it depends on the professor. My experience is that the professor makes the class...period. My best marketing class was from someone who diverged form the text, challenged us as students, and HOLY BLEEEP BLEEEP HE ACTUALLY LOOKED LIKE HE ENJOYED TEACHING. 3/5 professors look like teaching can be their only source of income other than asking "Is that happy meal for a boy or girl?" Dont feel discouraged because someone else discourages you...the only person that can limit you is yourself.

next point...scared about those essays and such for entrance exams. You must know how you get better at writing? BY WRITING...pudumpoooosh
You want to know if you have the chops for a magazine or you want to strengthen your writing confidence. Then fregain write write write. You can only grow stronger by it.........you want to know how to land a good entrance essay. Find an approach thats unique, allowing your creativity to mask what you may lack somewhere else. Write a mock magazine, create, build, learn. INFORMATION INFORMATION INFORMATION......scarf it by the boatloads. The net is your freind, explore every side of curiosity you may have regarding every field you've every wanted to knwo about. Today, I realized I didnt know much about quantum mechanics, so I bought a book and started reading it.....just for shitsngiggles.

I've written 15 notebooks worth of my book so far, eh? And every year I go back to some and read my writing...its PAINFUL. I laugh and laugh at it because in a year Ive grown a vicious pen, and now three years of writing, I cant even understand why I worried about not being able to write my book. I'm doing it
I'm going back to school to major in english with a creative writing focus and think of how strong I'll be by its end. glorious triumph....and its all afetr I wasted time and got a degree that I didnt even have a passion for. wasted because I just wanted to give my parents something..anything. wasted because I swore I couldnt write the story in my head-that I would fail. Sound famaliar?

Cut the BS and focus. Get some extra writing in, set goals with determination "There is no try, just do.", approach college essays creativly, and when you do 'do' things-do it as best as you can. If your best is 40% then thats it. But realize that to reach a goal you need to leave self-doubt in your other set of pants

everyone can kill a squirrel with a bat but not many people can kill a grizzly with a toothpick.

umm what I think I meant by that was to sharpen your weapon....your knowledge about yourself, NOT DOUBT. THE TRUTH ABOUT YOURSELF
not
I think I can be good at....
I think I might be able to...

its
WHEN IT COMES TO _____________, I SHOULD BE KING OF A COUNTRY THAT EXPORTS _______________.
ITS SO EASY FOR ME TO DO THIS, I THINK I MIGHTVE BEEN ITS CREATOR IN A FORMER LIFE

build on yourself, if you were a f'up before then identify why you f'd up and build.

look inside your se....oh whoops, not supposed to say it. But really, how are we supposed to know what you're supposed to pick?

If you do follow my advice right now then you dont have to follow my advice....makes perfect sense to me ay?

Try your best to strengthen your 'weapon' and killing bear with a toothpick is cake...get more prepared to make desicions because it sounds like your self doubting because you dont know details

[merylsilverburg]

wha?

why do you need to pick a major? did I miss something when I read I'm sorry but no school should be forcing you to declare a major until a certain amount of credits are reached. Well thats how I went through school and how it is here........you can liberal for 1 year and some, and then declare. But if theres something different on your side...

Hmm...in the community college I'm going to right now, they always ask what you plan on majoring in...when you choose your classes for next year or whatever, they always ask "So, what are you majoring in?" and so on. So, maybe it's different over there MAD...or maybe the policy has changed. Who knows? *shrugs*

and next point..special abilites? you obviousely have the special ability to worry and regretting lol. Sheeet, if that was a special ability..you'd have to roll me around in a wheel chair around the academy of students ready to fight magneto.

:laugh:

next point....parents. I wish I could divorce mine, but I cant. They think big for oyu and try not to put stress but the pressure is always there. Heres something to realize...dont count you parents as a factor when chosing your future. Dont feel like a failure if you fall short of what you want to give to family. True family supports you on your shortcomings and praises you on advancements. Bosses on the other hand....you are a failure if you dont meet standards and true bosses only support advancements....your family isnt a job that you can be fired from.

*applaudes for the underlined section* Well said, MAD. It's very true, happy_doughnut; it's important to pick a career that you have interest in, not what your parents have interest in or want you to do. I mean, look at me for example: My family is all in the restaurant business...they're interested in it, but no way in hell am I gonna go bulking up on unccessary muscle by lifting woks and pans and pots...no friggin' way. My parents wanted me to be something "successful" and whatnot (typical Asian careers: doctor, lawyer, muscian <-- and not like pop star singing...like violin, piano, etc.). And for a long time, I thought I had to abide by this...choose one of the careers or bring dishonor to the family. Ah, but in the end, I'm striving to be a mangaka and you know what? In the end, I've convinced my mom enough for her to actually accept it. However, I know that your parents and their support are very important to you. But, as I've said before to you privately, I think it's just best for you to choose a career you like to do. But, if you insist on living your parent's dreams, then I would try to pick a career that they accept, but that you have *some* slight interest in...it'll make things easier. For me, if I were to choose a career my parents wanted, I would've chosen lawyer but that was during my "supreme, would-not-let-up-for-all-the-money-in-the-world, argumentative" stage, so I thought I would suit it.

next point.....psych was crap eh? lemme share something<-------------6 years of college experience
your major classes wont always be the most interesting. The simple reasoning that "Well Ilike the subject so I'll do good in it." is bantha poodoo. I was a marketing major....I always believed I could sell air conditioners to eskimos but out of all the marketing classes I took, only 1 was interesting to the point where I liked it. The rest were crap. Why? Because it depends on the professor. My experience is that the professor makes the class...period. My best marketing class was from someone who diverged form the text, challenged us as students, and HOLY BLEEEP BLEEEP HE ACTUALLY LOOKED LIKE HE ENJOYED TEACHING. 3/5 professors look like teaching can be their only source of income other than asking "Is that happy meal for a boy or girl?" Dont feel discouraged because someone else discourages you...the only person that can limit you is yourself.

*applaudes again* Again, very well said MAD and how very true indeed for the underlined section. The professor makes all the difference, no joke. MAD said it so well, there's no need for me to repeat it, but if the professor teaches like crap, you're gonna end up despising the class and topic, no matter how much of an interest you have in it. Again, I can relate because it nearly happened to me currently with Art class (and when I was in HS also, with French class, Multimedia class, Math class, English class...hmm...basically every subject): Second year in college, I was supposed to take "Drawing II" and I was looking forward to it because I enjoyed "Drawing I" so much. When I stepped in the first day, I saw this chick...now, okay, I've got nothing against women....but this woman looked so annoying...just psycho, okay? And I was right! Halfway going through the syllabus, she looks up and says "When you guys buy a spray fixative...please try to find the ones that doesn't smell like bananas. I.......HATE.......BANANAS" and she gives this insane wide-eyed look to everyone. Whooaaaa now. :scared: An alarm went off in my head, screaming "Switch out, switch out ASAP!" Thank goodness I did otherwise I would've hated drawing for the rest of my life.

next point...scared about those essays and such for entrance exams. You must know how you get better at writing? BY WRITING...pudumpooooshYou want to know if you have the chops for a magazine or you want to strengthen your writing confidence. Then fregain write write write. You can only grow stronger by it.........you want to know how to land a good entrance essay. Find an approach thats unique, allowing your creativity to mask what you may lack somewhere else. Write a mock magazine, create, build, learn. INFORMATION INFORMATION INFORMATION......scarf it by the boatloads. The net is your freind, explore every side of curiosity you may have regarding every field you've every wanted to knwo about. Today, I realized I didnt know much about quantum mechanics, so I bought a book and started reading it.....just for shitsngiggles.

Again, I agree. You can only improve by continuing to do what you have interest in or think you're fairly good at (to be all cliche: practice makes perfect). And doughnut, I've told you that you can write very well, but I guess what I say doesn't matter or your self-doubt overwhelms you too much. :P Even though I still think I suck beyond all belief in drawing anime/manga, I still continue to practice because...dammit, I want to actually be able to draw something and finally, finally say to myself "I like it!" because whenever I look at my drawings, I think "You suck, you suck, you suck!" but I keep persisting because I want to improve. But that day will never come unless I keep on practicing. And surprisingly, even though I feel like I don't improve, but I do.
As for the rest of what you said MAD, I have to say, I can't fully agree with the last part (about buying a book about something you know nothing about just for the hell of it). This method doesn't really apply to everyone. :right: I mean, I can do the same thing: I can go out and buy a book about something I don't know (which is a lot of things, hehe) and you'll see me re-reading the same line over and over again or fast asleep. :laugh: I have short-attention span, maybe that's why, lol.

I've written 15 notebooks worth of my book so far, eh? And every year I go back to some and read my writing...its PAINFUL. I laugh and laugh at it because in a year Ive grown a vicious pen, and now three years of writing, I cant even understand why I worried about not being able to write my book. I'm doing it
I'm going back to school to major in english with a creative writing focus and think of how strong I'll be by its end. glorious triumph....and its all afetr I wasted time and got a degree that I didnt even have a passion for. wasted because I just wanted to give my parents something..anything. wasted because I swore I couldnt write the story in my head-that I would fail. Sound famaliar?

Cut the BS and focus. Get some extra writing in, set goals with determination "There is no try, just do.", approach college essays creativly, and when you do 'do' things-do it as best as you can. If your best is 40% then thats it. But realize that to reach a goal you need to leave self-doubt in your other set of pants

everyone can kill a squirrel with a bat but not many people can kill a grizzly with a toothpick.

umm what I think I meant by that was to sharpen your weapon....your knowledge about yourself, NOT DOUBT. THE TRUTH ABOUT YOURSELF
not
I think I can be good at....
I think I might be able to...

its
WHEN IT COMES TO _____________, I SHOULD BE KING OF A COUNTRY THAT EXPORTS _______________.
ITS SO EASY FOR ME TO DO THIS, I THINK I MIGHTVE BEEN ITS CREATOR IN A FORMER LIFE

build on yourself, if you were a f'up before then identify why you f'd up and build.

look inside your se....oh whoops, not supposed to say it. But really, how are we supposed to know what you're supposed to pick?

If you do follow my advice right now then you dont have to follow my advice....makes perfect sense to me ay?

Try your best to strengthen your 'weapon' and killing bear with a toothpick is cake...get more prepared to make desicions because it sounds like your self doubting because you dont know details

Nothing else to say except "Bravo!" Excellent speech and advice MAD. Follow his advice, Mena...these are the things I would say to you, but this guy wrote it 100% more better.

[Keyblade Master]

Um, I'm in High school, and the only thing I can say is...
Things just happen and.....
I mean the way you should take it is..............
Well.................................
Oh, god what am I doing here?? :zip:

[MADRUCKIS]

[color=black]As for the rest of what you said MAD, I have to say, I can't fully agree with the last part (about buying a book about something you know nothing about just for the hell of it). This method doesn't really apply to everyone.

oh no, I didnt quite mean for it to sound like he should

excuse my late night rant people

but I meant that its how I get things done. My book requires that I have to create create create....religions, sciences, evolution. I'm trying my best to be unique and creative so that when someone reads my book, I want them to put down the book and stare off into space thinkin
"Well, I never thought about it like that before."
and quickly pick up the book again to continue. The only way you can become successful, even when creating magazines and such, is to know what the reader desires to see and then delivering those images in such a degree that they're hooked. My book is about everything so I need to know about everything....but I was just tryin to give the example that learning about goals is far better than to just be dreaming about them.

[happy_doughnut]

Thanks guys. I appreciate the, erm, eye-openers.

Anyway, don't get me wrong. If I were to do what my parents wanted, I'd end up being either a lawyer or an architect (both professions, which btw, I think very cool, but not suitable for my personality.). Psychology has always been something that interests me mainly because of the helping-others aspect. Same goes for psychiatry, although this is far more a medical school type thing. I have always loved to write. Not necessarily poems or stories, but just writing about whatever. And in this I beat you, MAD: I have written 47 notebooks worth of whateverness, starting from the age of 7. :O

:laugh:

My problem is that I don't know which to choose, and my question is... how do you know? And I agree 100% on the teacher thing: this is probably one of the rasons why I have never liked school. My prof just sucked... and by contrast, I had a math teacher last fall (and I really really don't like math much) and I LOVED it. She was amazing and made the subject amazing.

I think that there was something else though: I guess I just wasn't aware of all the biological factors included in psychology. I knew there are certain branches, such as the Behaviorist's theories that go hand in hand with biology, but I didn't expect this to be so for just about all others. I was suprised to be listen to Freudian theories and still be talking about the hipothalamus, cerebelum, and cerebral cortex's! Hmm. This kinda disappointed me...

Hmm...in the community college I'm going to right now, they always ask what you plan on majoring in...when you choose your classes for next year or whatever, they always ask "So, what are you majoring in?" and so on. So, maybe it's different over there MAD...or maybe the policy has changed. Who knows? *shrugs*

I suppose it does vary. When I first registered, I registered undecided because that's exactly what I was (and still am x_X). On Thursday, though, I had a counselor meeting and she asked me to heed her warning of my undeclared state. She told me that universities don't look at the general education classes as much as they look at the classes (and grades) you took relating to your frield of study. Basically, by applying undeclared, you diminish your chance to be in by more than 50%. See why I must pick something ASAP?


Again, I agree. You can only improve by continuing to do what you have interest in or think you're fairly good at (to be all cliche: practice makes perfect). And doughnut, I've told you that you can write very well, but I guess what I say doesn't matter or your self-doubt overwhelms you too much. Even though I still think I suck beyond all belief in drawing anime/manga, I still continue to practice because...dammit, I want to actually be able to draw something and finally, finally say to myself "I like it!" because whenever I look at my drawings, I think "You suck, you suck, you suck!" but I keep persisting because I want to improve. But that day will never come unless I keep on practicing. And surprisingly, even though I feel like I don't improve, but I do.

In that regard, I think we are the same. :heh: I write something everyday. Journal jottings and meanderings to beginnin stories I never do finish... but I am constantly writing. When I compare today's writing excerpts to last years, I do see a change, but still. Like you, I can't help but think I'm not good enough.

And also, at first I didn't know what to do with an English major, aside from being a teacher, and I don't want to do that for sure. It's just that writing magazines and books seems to me, aside from farfetched, so unstable.

I don't know. I am still confused. They just laid the bomb on me so unexpectedly. "Pick a major!" I was like... wha? O_O;;

I once had this plan: To major in psychology and minor in english. This way, I am available for therapeudic services, and can write books or whatever pertaining to psychology or not on the side. But then... I don't know if this combination is even a good one. I would ask my counselor, but gee, those 15 minute sessions are a wee bit too short. =__=;

I think I'm just going to be a chef. :chef:

[MADRUCKIS]

sounds good to me

cook me some cereal, I'm starvin

[Redpyramidhead]

Mena, whatever it is you do, it better have something to do with writing. You know how I stand on this. I have told you over and over again about your writing. Ask Harry what he thinks of your writing. If people keep telling you that you are great at something and you love to do it why don't you think long and hard about that, ok? You say you are not naturally good at anything. Well, you are wrong. You were born a WRITER. The gift of language and communication. This is an incredibly sought after gift and here it is and its yours. USE IT! There are many things you can major in that involve setting your path towards a career in writing. Communications is one major. My brother majored in communications. I can ask him about that and any other ideas he has on the subject for you. Coincedentally he teaches a college course on writing, himself. He would probably be the perfect person to ask so I am going to ask him for you. PEACE

_RED_ stuff