Complication

[kamari-ice]

Ohh..your feeling down. You think that your life is running into a brick wall at 90km per hour. Your mad and crazy because your loved one left you with just a rocker not a craddle. Or, is just someone putting you near the tip of your flame. If so, post it here. Let your emotions run wild.

[MADRUCKIS]

I'm mad

its the first three letters of my name
<------------------see

but um, yea
just kinda feel like the world is filled with worthless idiots who like toying with me. First telling me to let my imagination work on paper-no matter how disturbing, how ridiculous
and then reading my stuff and telling me its too disturbing and that I should look into "turning down the violent images"

I'm considering writing those people into my book and having them get their skulls cracked open with a sledgehammer...or I could just tell em to let me do my work

which one? which one?

[Redpyramidhead]

I'm mad

its the first three letters of my name
<------------------see

but um, yea
just kinda feel like the world is filled with worthless idiots who like toying with me. First telling me to let my imagination work on paper-no matter how disturbing, how ridiculous
and then reading my stuff and telling me its too disturbing and that I should look into "turning down the violent images"

I'm considering writing those people into my book and having them get their skulls cracked open with a sledgehammer...or I could just tell em to let me do my work

which one? which one?


May I suggest doing both?

_RED_ stuff

[merylsilverburg]

That makes the two of us, MAD...yes, I'm mad too (by the way, that really would piss me off too if someone had told me to just let go and write whatever I want only to tell me later that I should think about "toning down the violent imagery"...ugh...)

I'm mad mostly because of work-related irritations, but still makes me angry nonetheless.

Like, oh, this situation for example:

There's this group of Asians who come in. One of the guys orders first and I take this guy's order and hand back his change. I happen to have the new 2005 Minnesota quarters in my register and when I handed back his change, he saw it and showed his friend, whom I'm guessing, is fanatical about coin collecting. After looking at it, the fanatic gets this glaze/shine in his eyes and looks at me and says "After you take my order I would like to get quarters, okay?" Sure, no problem I thought to myself. Only here's the problem: this guy refuses to place his order with me only because I don't speak Mandarin. He places the order with my mom. My mom runs up to me and, instead of speaking to me in Taiwanese which I understand and she knows I do, she says to me in broken English, "He wants to order "House Beef" (Now before anyone reading this gets confused, she says "House Beef" only because, at the moment, she forgotten how to say "steak" so she says "House Beef" when she really meant to say "House Steak" which is our special dish that night. Now, we have another item on the menu that's called "House Special" but it's a soup with beef and most people say to me "House Special" when they want to order that dish. So, I thought my mom forgotten how to say "special" so when she say "beef" I thought she meant the "House Special" dish). So, I write down "House Beef" and charge the guy. Now, if he weren't such a dumbass or being so infactuated with getting his new 2005 quarter, he could've, oh I dunno, paid more attention to the price difference (the steak costs $7.99 and the special costs only $6.50) and oh, maybe just ordered from me in English. But no....after he gets his dish, all the while checking out his new quarter still...he comes ups a few moments later and asks my mom in his annoying meek voice (when he really isn't like that) "Um...is...that my steak that I ordered?" and my mom goes "Wait...that's not the steak you ordered?" and he goes "Uh...well...no...not exactly...I got this weird soup thing...I wanted steak" and my mom goes "Ohh...my daughter (me) must've heard it wrong" :mad:
Oh well, gee, thanks mom...so you can imagine the irritated glare I received from the guy after my mother said that. Now before any of you are ready to defend this guy saying stuff like "Oh, maybe he just doesn't know how to speak English that well" and all that, this guy speaks English just fine...because the chick he's desperately is trying to hook up with was ordering in English and he goes on and interrupts with "Don't forget, this place only takes cash, geez, I don't know a place where they don't accept credit card, that is just so stupid." Hmm...if you don't speak English that well, I don't think a person can spew out "stupid" and "geez" and any of the other words in a perfect English context.

So, the poor guy had to suffer with the wrong order and continues to glare and roll his eyes at me the whole entire time he was dining. What a night, not to mention the fact there were other annoying situations that I don't care to mention nor relive. This one just pissed me off.

[happy_doughnut]

Mhm. I feel ya, meryl. Trust me... I feel ya... *sigh*

Well, it's my turn. Gah. I'm so aggravated right now! Everything sucks. Seriously.

Today must have been one of the worse days I've had in a long while:

It all started yesterday when I got into an argument with my dad. Now, admittedly, I'm not much of an "arguer" or anything. I'm not even that temperamental or have a "bad attitude." No... most of the time I try to be as mellow as I can be, but yesterday... oh, boy! I was already feeling shitty at school because I was sick and it was raining. Apparently though, I had a fever so I was all hot even though it was rainy and breezy. My dad goes to pick me up and my mom calls and asks me to go pick up some stuff at a store, so I tell my dad. On the way he asks what store I want to go to and I say that it doesn't matter; any grocery store will do. But could he have said, "Ok, we'll go to one closer to home"? Noooo. He made such a big deal about me not naming the store and not being clear and blah, blah, blah. I mean! Ahhhh! I got pissed and just said, "Oh, whatever. Just stop wherever you want to." And then I got blammed for being rude and blah, blah, blah. Ugh.

Oh, but did I tell you why I was being so "agressive" towards my dad? Well, because tomorrow I was supposed to go out somewhere important. IMPORTANT. And he had promised me he would be here to go drop me off and pick me up at the end. All was set. But nope. Yesterday, oh-so-casually, he just said, "Oh, hey. I have to work so I can't take you. Tell your brother or something, okay?" Or something? Wtf man! It makes me so mad because he always does this to me. Every time I ask him to be somewhere for me, he can never make it because "he has to work." And whenever I tell him he says, "Well, if I don't work, then you can't wear those pretty little clothes you like to wear." Omg. That hurts, guys. It's as if he thinks that just because he works and "gives me money" that it replaces or betters the fact that he is never there. Never. Birthdays, banquets, celebrations, hell, graduations... nothing. All the freaking clothes in the world don't amount to half of the value I've never received from him.

And the today... well, I asked my brother to take me to the mall because I needed to exchange something. So I go. I grab the skirt I'm going to exchange it for... same skirt, just different size - no big deal, right? Wrong! When I go up to the register, some f*cker is like, "What do you want?" ... So, I just think... okay... I need to exhange this for this please. And he just says, "No." Just like that and I'm like wtf? Why not? And he says that because I already wore it! !! What?! All the tags are there and I have the receipt AND it had been only about 3 days since I bought it. And there he is accusing me of returning it because I already wore it. I mean, hello dumbass! If I were doing that, wouldn't it be more sensible that I were exchanging it for something different? Not the same thing! And I get pissed because he's being a jerk so I request to speak with the manager and guess what? He says, "No, he doesn't have time to deal with the likes of you, so please leave before I call security." I wanted to die. No, I wanted to kill him. I mean, what was I doing? So (since I frequent the store) I walk over to where the manager is and demand to talk to him. He comes our asking what the matter is and I tell him that this ******* is insulting me. He hears the story and is all indignated. Right. So, what happens? He apologizes... tells me the skirt is on them and that any other merchandise is half off. And he bastard gets fired cause apparently it's not the first time this happens.

Well, pissed as I was I threw the skirt on the counter. I didn't want any of that shit.

I come home super angry only to hear my mother yelling. Apparently, she's angrier than I am. She yells and stomps and storms out the door saying how ungrateful every single one of her children are and ugh.

:disturb:

Was I not supposed to wake up today or something?

[merylsilverburg]

Every time I ask him to be somewhere for me, he can never make it because "he has to work." And whenever I tell him he says, "Well, if I don't work, then you can't wear those pretty little clothes you like to wear." Omg. That hurts, guys. It's as if he thinks that just because he works and "gives me money" that it replaces or betters the fact that he is never there. Never. Birthdays, banquets, celebrations, hell, graduations... nothing. All the freaking clothes in the world don't amount to half of the value I've never received from him.

These sorts of things are very rough and very hurtful especially since, being a child, you would like your parent (if you are close to them) to be there on important occasions, situations, or events. Even if you're not too close, it would be nice to know that you have family to be there for you.
But look at it this way: at least you have a dad who still talks to you, considers you his daughter, cares enough about you to even give you money regardless of what you spend it on, cares enough about you whether or not you're still alive, cares enough about you to want to hear your opinion (regarding the "which store to go to" situation), and well...at least is there to pick you up, drop you off, and even though he doesn't follow through on his promises, it's not like he's lying about why he couldn't take you. Maybe he really does have to work. I know the whole "gotta work" excuse is really annoying, but when you're an adult, work becomes your whole life. You have no excuses or other easy ways out, unlike being a young person. You have to focus on your job intently in order to keep it and to continue the cash flow. Otherwise, if you get fired, you would have to search for a new job and have a period of time where you don't have much money because you were fired and then what? How are you going to pay the bills? Put food on the table? Provide for your family and their needs? And even if you manage to find another job, it's starting at the bottom again and that means, less pay. Which also means, less money to pay the bills and etc. even though you have some leftover cash. And truly, your dad at least cares about you in a sense, otherwise he wouldn't even bother to pick you up or drop you off or even bother taking you anywhere. And yes, it does suck that he is never at your important events or changes things at the last minute even though he promised, but not every promise can be kept all the time. And if he does take a lot of time off work to satisfy your needs and lost his job, would it make you happy to know that he is now stressed and worried about finding another job only because of you? It's important for both parties, you and your dad, to find a compromise in this situation otherwise these things will forever continue to come up and things will never be resolved.

And the today... well, I asked my brother to take me to the mall because I needed to exchange something. So I go. I grab the skirt I'm going to exchange it for... same skirt, just different size - no big deal, right? Wrong! When I go up to the register, some f*cker is like, "What do you want?" ... So, I just think... okay... I need to exhange this for this please. And he just says, "No." Just like that and I'm like wtf? Why not? And he says that because I already wore it! !! What?! All the tags are there and I have the receipt AND it had been only about 3 days since I bought it. And there he is accusing me of returning it because I already wore it. I mean, hello dumbass! If I were doing that, wouldn't it be more sensible that I were exchanging it for something different? Not the same thing! And I get pissed because he's being a jerk so I request to speak with the manager and guess what? He says, "No, he doesn't have time to deal with the likes of you, so please leave before I call security." I wanted to die. No, I wanted to kill him. I mean, what was I doing? So (since I frequent the store) I walk over to where the manager is and demand to talk to him. He comes our asking what the matter is and I tell him that this ******* is insulting me. He hears the story and is all indignated. Right. So, what happens? He apologizes... tells me the skirt is on them and that any other merchandise is half off. And he bastard gets fired cause apparently it's not the first time this happens.

Okay, now this situation would piss me off too. What an asswipe; if he didn't want to work there, then don't work there. The whole point of working at a place is to serve people...you're getting paid to do that, that's your job so do it right. I know there are some real f*ckwad customers, but if they aren't doing anything to you, then there is no reason to be rude. You obviously weren't doing anything, it was a simple exchange, all he had to do was exchange it. You did the right thing to talk to the manager and let him know what a lazy mofo that guy was because you had your rights, it's a good thing you did it. Me, on the other hand, I would've...ugh, I probably would've just cowarded away or something. :P

[Phenom]

It seems everyone is having problems with their folks.

It is official. I HATE PARENTS. (No offence to any parents on the site)
In a longer term. I can't stand my folks.
My week started off great. Everybody joking around and whatnot.

Get to Wednesday... Day started off just fine. Until about 1:30. I'm in my room about to go to sleep. Phone rings... blah blah blah. All of a sudden, my dad starts bitching at me because I didn't have my cell phone turned on. (Obviously, there's a reason why I didn't have it on. Hell, even if it was on, I didn't feel like talkin to anyone)

Thursday. Again. Day starts off peaceful. Same incident occurs this time, he's telling my mom.... (And that's suppose to do what?) He just have to find something to bitch about. (Petty things at that)

Friday.... 1st 10 minutes after waking up. Day starts ok, but after that 10 minutes. My mom just turned into a pure bitch. And it's sad too because the 1st 10 minutes we were talking and after that. I'm getting the silent treatment. I'm like WTF. She's talking to everyone else but me. So... she takes off to go to work... I'm at class being bored.... and failed a test. So I'm pissed about that.... (put 2 damn weeks of study time into it) So I come back home. (It's 5:00 now) Take a nap... get up around 8 o'clock.
Peaceful for 2 in half hours. My mom gets in. No hi, just straight up bitching about 2 measly bowls in the sink. (And they wonder why I don't spend any so called "family time" with them. Another reason you could say I'm a lonewolf.)

And keep in mind. I'm not the talker in my family (Words I want to say to them will hurt their feelings). You can pretty much say I'm like you happy_doughnut. Except I have a temper, but I try to be as mellow as I can. So I just keep my mouth shut, but I swear... One of these days. I'm gonna snap.

"Meh, should've stayed on campus when I had the chance"

[merylsilverburg]

Sorry for posting here again, but I couldn't edit my previous post. I just wanted to add one more thing.

Mena, I really honestly wouldn't be complaining that my dad has to work especially since you're in that situation (and you know which situation I'm talking about). I would be grateful enough to be in that situation and yet, have a dad who actually does providing money home in order for me to buy all those things I like, such as clothes, games, books, music, anime, etc. Your dad can't provide you everything, he cannot be at your events and yet bring home money for you to spend. It's not possible, sacrifices have to be made, in life, it's inevitable and unavoidable. You can consider me the enemy here, if you desire, but I really just don't think your way of thinking is right in this situation.

[happy_doughnut]

I understand what you're saying, meryl. I really do. But see, it's not about whether I'm right or wrong; this is just the way I feel.

And I think that by what I said, people might get a wrong impression of my dad. For one thing, the only reason he picked me was because he was actually home. Apparently the guy he works with (they're co-bosses or something) was celebrating his birthday so my dad actually came home from a small breakfast they shared. Other than that, my dad pick me up? Hah!

And I know he has to work; I'm not telling him not to. He loves working. He loves it more than his family, actually. And well, this is very true. I'm not asking for him to be there with me all the time. Even if he tried I wouldn't allow it because overtime I have become a little... hard. It would be nice, though, to see him somewhere that is important for me every once in a while. I don't think that's asking for a lot. It's just really hard to smile and pretend and say, "THAT'S my dad!!" when I don't feel that way. And the truth is that he never ever is there. And you know what? No sum of money is great enough to fill this emptyness.

It's annoying to know that he thinks all he has to do is give me a 100$ and I'm fine. I would honestly exchange all of my belongings for some time with him. I really would.

But you know what? It's all right because what else can I expect? Maybe if I had been what he really wanted we would be close.

And no, my dad can't provide everything. Nobody can. All my dad does it work. He has no idea what happens to the money afterwards. It's always my mother, my brother and me that has to deal with everything. And well, that's all right cause we help out. But honestly, if my dad didn't work, then well... he simply would have nothing else to provide.

In my 18 years, I have yet to receive a hug from my dad. That's right - not even when I was a baby, toddler or whatever. And much less have I ever heard an "I love you." But I guess the dollar bills are supposed to do it for him, right? Well if that's the case, he can take them back because I don't want them. I'd rather be wearing rags and have his love than wear "designer clothes" and have his nothing.

[merylsilverburg]

I understand what you're saying, meryl. I really do. But see, it's not about whether I'm right or wrong; this is just the way I feel.

Look, I know that you're expressing how you feel here. And I also know that you're probably emotionally-distraught when you posted this and didn't think it reasonably through. However, just in case you do think it through, but not realize it, I just wanted to point it out the "wrong and right" in your feelings. Because, if you never realize it or have someone tell you, you'll always feel this way, feel very victimized or feel distraught by this...and it ends up that you won't have to feel this way if you find out the reason behind this complication.

For one thing, the only reason he picked me was because he was actually home. Apparently the guy he works with (they're co-bosses or something) was celebrating his birthday so my dad actually came home from a small breakfast they shared. Other than that, my dad pick me up? Hah!

Okay. Either I'm misunderstanding what you wrote here, but from what I'm getting, the only reason your dad picks you up to take you anywhere or do anything is because he happened to be home at the moment. Okay...so those times you told me that he dropped you off at school or dropped you off at places you wanted to go or picked you up from those places? What about those times? From what you told me personally, it gave me the impression that your dad was always available and is the one who is responsible of getting you to places. This doesn't make sense...

Even if he tried I wouldn't allow it because overtime I have become a little... hard.

Right, so if you've become a little tougher to get along, then you would also be a part of the blame. I was going to mention this little problem in my earlier post, but I didn't think it was necessary. Young people tend to push away their parents when they reach that "teenager/young adult stage" and parents never want to pry because they know their kids have reached that place where kids rebel, have angst, want freedom, silent treatment, become distant, etc. So, it ends up the parents shy away, but then in some cases, the kid wants them to actually care about them. But is it really okay for the kid to expect the parent to be nurturing and caring but also become a victim of rage or tempers whenever the kid feels like blowing off steam?

It's just really hard to smile and pretend and say, "THAT'S my dad!!" when I don't feel that way.

Why is it so hard? In life, everyone has to pretend in one situation or another. Do you think that when my parents are at each other's throats and ready to start WWIII while working in the restaurant that they don't have to pretend that everything is alright when customers (and close friends) begin to notice and ask questions? Do you think that it's okay for my mother to say "Oh, well, you know...my husband is just being a f*cker right now, you know...usual things"? And do you think it's easy for me when customers say to me "Omigawd, your dad is, like, a total genius in the kitchen! He's a brilliant chef!!" when I know very well that my poor excuse for a dad is nowhere near a "brilliant genius chef" that he has fooled people into thinking, but regardless, I have to smile (which is nearly impossible to do when you're filled with rage) and say "Yeah, my dad is really great! He's always able to invent these wonderful dishes!"
To sum it up, no, it's not easy to pretend that something's alright when it's not...but doing this sort of thing is actually easy if you don't dwell upon it or think about it so much. All you have to do is just say the same BS over and over again and sooner or later, you'll become so used to it that it comes out automatically.

It's annoying to know that he thinks all he has to do is give me a 100$ and I'm fine. I would honestly exchange all of my belongings for some time with him. I really would.

If this was really true, then why do you bother taking the money anyway then? If you truly, for some time, have thought "I would love to spend time with my dad, I don't care about the money or the items" then when your dad shoves the $100 bill in your face, you would just shove it back at him and say "No thanks dad...this isn't what I want...in fact, you know what I'd like? I'd like that you stop giving me money and, instead, be there for me during important moments or events, that's actually what I want."

All my dad does it work. He has no idea what happens to the money afterwards.

Well, this sounds an awful lot like my situation (and ongoing situation) that I've told you a long time ago when we first started talking...but when I described my situation to you, you didn't seem to fully understand what I was saying nor did you agree and say that your dad acts the same. It would've been nice to know that you also have to deal with a father like this too...because it made me feel like I was the only one experiencing this sort of hassle.

It's always my mother, my brother and me that has to deal with everything. And well, that's all right cause we help out. But honestly, if my dad didn't work, then well... he simply would have nothing else to provide.

In my 18 years, I have yet to receive a hug from my dad. That's right - not even when I was a baby, toddler or whatever. And much less have I ever heard an "I love you."

Okay, so if your dad doesn't provide much anything (like nurturement, comfort, fatherly-figure, etc.) except the cash...then why do you feel the need to be so attached/close to him? Especially since, from your post, he leaves your mother, your brother, and yourself to deal with the terrible aftermath of his actions or his lack of responsibility. In my mind, a guy like this would not even be considered a "father" nor would I ever want to be close/know a guy like this ever. He never hugs you, says "I love you", helps you out in tough situations, never gives you advice, or anything? Well guess what? My father has never done any of these things either...in fact, he even tried to kill me when I was just a baby (yes, he wanted to drop me out the window of the third story apartment building that my family were living in after I was born..and do you know why he wanted to do that? Only because I was crying too much and my mother couldn't quiet me down) so I'm guessing that "giving me fatherly advice" is faaar from his mind...and he also leaves my mother, my sister, and myself to deal with the crap that he leaves behind because of his pitiful self. Now, because he does all these things, I don't consider him a father at all. In fact, I don't even consider him part of the family...he's just some pathetic loser who has to hang around us because he's too damn scared to go off on his own. So Mena, if your father seems to be as much of an bastard as my dad, then I commend you...because you actually have the patience and the good-heart to actually want to get to know him.

[merylsilverburg]

Sorry for double posting, but I couldn't fit it all on the first reply. Anyway, moving along...

But I guess the dollar bills are supposed to do it for him, right? Well if that's the case, he can take them back because I don't want them. I'd rather be wearing rags and have his love than wear "designer clothes" and have his nothing.

Right and this goes back to what I said earlier...why do you bother taking the money from him then? And yes, I understand that you enjoy buying designer clothing and other things you like, but if you truly, truly wanted to get some quality time with your dad, then why don't you help out by not buying so much of those designer clothes...that way, he won't have to continue to give you money to buy them thus equaling working harder and longer hours thus equaling not being there for you. Or you can also get a job yourself so that way you can earn your own money to buy stuff...that way, your dad has no excuse not spend time with you because you're actually earning that $100 yourself. It's because you actually do like buying the stuff you like, but when the people aren't there for you, you are unhappy but you also expect the money to be continually provided? That is impossible beyond all reason on earth.

Mena, I'm am sorry that I sound harsh or cruel or whatever you may think of me right now (and any others who are reading this and considering me "Bitchy-McBitch") but this sort of ranting really makes me angry. I'm not defending for parents around the world (because, honestly...every parent is totally cool and/or caring? No way in hell) but parents do have a very hard time or have a very rough life especially dealing with work, worrying about their kids, worrying about the everyday adult responsiblities and young people really don't make their life easier. I'm not saying every young person is a brainless, inconsiderate punk, but young people do tend to be selfish a lot of times because they're either a) not mature enough to understand or be empathetic to many things or b) not able to control their emotions which catapults to blow-outs and/or temper flares. And in this particular situation, with the whole "money versus being there" thing, I cannot stand this because I, too, went through this sort of thing when I was very young...but I was too immature to understand what I know now. I wanted to buy stuff but I couldn't stand how my mother or sister were never there for me and left me all alone, having to fight my own battles when I was only 8 or 9. But then I realized that I enjoyed buying stuff and that I didn't mind being alone all the time and that I knew why my mother and sister were working so desperately hard to earn money...and so, because of this, I cannot bitch nor complain nor become inconsiderate of them who were both working so that I could live a comfortable life even though the life at the time wasn't so great. And so, I stopped. It took a long time, but I did understand eventually. Mena, you are pretty much an adult now and should understand these sort of things, so it makes me feel annoyed having to say these things to you, but from your posts, it just leaves me the impression that you don't understand because of what you ranted about. Regardless, I hope that by my doing this, you don't take me as your enemy because, the fact is, I do care which is why I say these things.

[Infernal Mass]

so much anger, so much pain...:weep:

[happy_doughnut]

Yes, I understand what you're saying, meryl and thanks. I do take these things into consideration.

But no, I wasn't feeling "emotional" when I posted. The thing is simple: my dad is never there, he simply sends money to replace him, and whenever something good happens, he's always there to take the praise. Why? Because he is such a good father. Is he really? Not that much. He works... he works an awful lot. Now though, it's not so much necessity as it is... a want. He loves it and always has. But this makes him alienated. He knows nothing of what goes on in his own household. If anything, it's my mother that has to take care of everything. But you see, she works "behind the scenes." That is, my mom is just "nice" but not as "great" as my dad. Why? Because he works and she doesn't, basically.

I would gladly get a job, but I can't. Why? Because my dad won't let me saying that school is my job and blah blah. As soon as I even mention working, he blows up, so I don't say anything anymore.

You might think that all I'm doing is bitching and that's okay. But to go onto tell you why this is not bitching would mean divulging more than I care to, so personal contact is preferable.

But still, I don't see why I'm so wrong. Because I wish my dad were there for me when I need him? Is that so bad? I don't think so. You see, I don't think a dad is just a man that works. No, there is much more to a father than that. But I guess, that would entail ggood fathers.

All in all, I appreciate my dad so much. And I'm surprised to see that you think I'm just being a brat because you should know how highly I esteem my parents. They're everything to me. I only wish my dad would be there for me every now and then instead of going solo. Why? Well, because I'm not alone!

And actually, I'm not a hard person to deal with. It's hard for me to trust, yes, but other than that, I do try to be mellow. Me and my dad hardly ever fight and if we do, it is always because of this. Other than that, we are all okay.

And yes, my dad does take me to buy school supplies. Well, he did when I was in high school. But geez, I don't give him props for that. I think that it was his responsibility. Now if he doesn't want to, he doesn't have to, and well, he doesn't anymore. That still doesn't mean I wouldn't appreciate it.

Why do I take his money? Because I have to. As I said, he forbids me to work because he thinks I will start getting bad grades and whatnot. And well, if I got a job, I would probably be asked to leave home.

And don't think I don't understand what you're saying. Actually, I see things the way you do in order to better understand my own situations and become calmer. But regardless what any anybody says, I still hold to the fact that a father is not just a money-making figure. They are more than that. They should be men that can provide for their families in ways that are more than monetary. Is this hard to do? I would think so.

I'm not asking my dad to quit working. I am asking that he be there on at least one birthday, though. Is that too much? No, it's not.

And no, I don't think you as my enemy. :) I think of you as my friend. I mean, good friends are the ones that dare tell you things truthfully, right?

You just have to understand that it isn't about whether I am right or wrong. It's not about whether my dad is right or wrong. It is simply about a child and father that have lost the link that connects the two; and that this missing link does bring sadness.

[merylsilverburg]

The thing is simple: my dad is never there, he simply sends money to replace him, and whenever something good happens, he's always there to take the praise. Why? Because he is such a good father. Is he really? Not that much. He works... he works an awful lot. Now though, it's not so much necessity as it is... a want. He loves it and always has. But this makes him alienated. He knows nothing of what goes on in his own household. If anything, it's my mother that has to take care of everything. But you see, she works "behind the scenes." That is, my mom is just "nice" but not as "great" as my dad. Why? Because he works and she doesn't, basically.

I still don't understand this. So, if your dad is never there and only sends money to replace him, as I said earlier, doesn't this mean that you and your dad are very distant from one another instead of actually being close (and you probably shouldn't even know the guy if he works all the time)? And if this was the case, how is it that you would be so hurt by the fact that he never says "I love you" or gives you hugs or is never there and why do you feel the need to be so attached or to be close with him? I'm getting the impression that the truth is, you and your dad were very close once, but drifted apart over the years. So, why couldn't you just say "My dad is never there anymore and I am very hurt by this"?

You might think that all I'm doing is bitching and that's okay. But to go onto tell you why this is not bitching would mean divulging more than I care to, so personal contact is preferable.

I don't mind, but I'm just a little concerned with your situation because the things you say in one instance doesn't seem to add up with something else you say in another instance.

But still, I don't see why I'm so wrong. Because I wish my dad were there for me when I need him? Is that so bad? I don't think so.

Did I say that wishing your father were with you when you need him was bad? No, I didn't. But from your posts and your words, it gave me the impression that you want time with him but he's always working and you can't stand him working so much. And yet, you say that you're really hurt when he says that "he gives you money to buy clothes" but you actually do buy the clothes so you want the money to buy clothes, but also want to be with him too. That's why I was just kinda like "What's the deal here?"

Why do I take his money? Because I have to. As I said, he forbids me to work because he thinks I will start getting bad grades and whatnot. And well, if I got a job, I would probably be asked to leave home.

Alright, so you have to take the money and your dad forbids you to work and he blows up whenever you tell him you want to work. That's fine and I understand this now. But then again, why would he even notice or care that you get a job? Since you said that he never knows what goes on in the household, what would make your getting a job so noticeable? If the guy doesn't even care or know that you're feeling sad about not spending time with him (which means the guy doesn't know you at all), then what makes you getting a job the news of the century? Once again, it seems to me that your dad does care about you (otherwise he would forbade you getting a job because he's worried you'll get bad grades) and does notice what is going on with his children but maybe not everything else.

But regardless what any anybody says, I still hold to the fact that a father is not just a money-making figure. They are more than that. They should be men that can provide for their families in ways that are more than monetary. Is this hard to do? I would think so.

Well, I suppose you missed my post when I said:

He never hugs you, says "I love you", helps you out in tough situations, never gives you advice, or anything?

and this:

Okay, so if your dad doesn't provide much anything (like nurturement, comfort, fatherly-figure, etc.)

I know that fathers and mothers (parents in general) are supposed to provide more than just superficial or monetary things...so I wasn't disagreeing with you on this, but still, parents do have to work hard to provide money because money is extremely important in life. It doesn't fall out of trees (though I wish they did though...dammit! :laugh: ) and parents have to stress about money because they think about providing for the kids...they have to make sure the kid gets food to eat, has a roof over their heads, can go to college/schooling, buy clothes or books, pay for special classes or special tutoring, etc....so because of all this worrying and thinking, they tend to forget that their children are still in need of "parental nurturement." I'm not saying that parents are right in this case, but it does happen.

I'm not asking my dad to quit working. I am asking that he be there on at least one birthday, though. Is that too much? No, it's not.

No, it's not too much to ask and yes, the guy should take a day off of work to at least spend a special day or two with you or your brother. But I am still concerned about my main question: if your dad was never close or even cared about/with any of the family, then why do you want him to be there at all and why are you concerned about this? Does him not being there for you make your life feel that much incomplete? And please do not think that I don't know what it's like to be alone or to have unreliable parents/family; a good bulk of my childhood was spent being just alone and getting empty promises or never seeing my sister or mother whenever I'm in a play or singing in the chorus and other things. So because they were never there, I just stopped caring and being so concerned or upset about this.

It is simply about a child and father that have lost the link that connects the two; and that this missing link does bring sadness.

Alright, here's the answer I've been looking for: so you and your dad were close once but now, you've become distant over the years. Okay, so why were you saying all that stuff about your dad never being there at all and and he works all the time and that he never knows what goes on in the household and all that?

[Redpyramidhead]

Look... my honest opinion is that this between my two friends mena and meryl has gone too far. First of all, you can't have a proper discussion like this back n forth via posts in a forum. You can't tell what the other persons tone is and it makes it both harder to be sensitive and to communicate through any kind of problem. STOP THIS. I care about both of you as friends and I think its getting ridiculous at this point.

Meryl, honestly I think you are being quite overbearing, even though I understand the wisdom behind your words (i hope you are not offended by this constructive criticism.) They are similar things I might try to say to Mena to help her out a little bit... cuz growing up can be rough... but in this case I think both of you have gone on enough about it on here in these forums. It's not really the place for you two to get so angry at eachother n then not talk afterwards... niether of you TRULY know whats going on thru simple ps2f posts.

I hate to think about you two fighting like this... I know you regard eachother as close. PEACE


_RED_ stuff

[Rei]

Sorry Red, but in this case I don't think you have the right to say to Mena and meryl to "STOP THIS". They can decide without your suggestion about what, how, and for how long they want to discuss in this thread. Maybe you're the one misunderstanding their intentions. I don't see how you can say the two of them are "fighting" either. If they prefer to discuss in private, they can do it, but I don't think you're the one who can ask them to do it, since this this thread was exactly created for discussing like that and they're not out of topic.

Just my opinion.

[goodman]

Life is really good here, working a lot, enjoying tons of music, concerts, movies, online gaming, and the occasional encounters with the ladies....... so overall i gotta give life a thumbs up at this point!

[merylsilverburg]

Meryl, honestly I think you are being quite overbearing, even though I understand the wisdom behind your words (i hope you are not offended by this constructive criticism.)

Perhaps I am being overbearing...but as I said in my earlier post, I cannot stand these sort of ranting/sharing because it's simply, to me, very unreasonable. I'm not saying that it was wrong of her to share or to feel unhappy about this, but there was a bit of irrationality behind what she said...and I don't want her to continue to think this way because it will continue to wear on her and cause her unneccessary stress. But also, her posts does not make any sense; at one point, her father is there then another point, her dad is never there and so on. So, what's the real deal, I just don't get it.

[Redpyramidhead]

Sorry Red, but in this case I don't think you have the right to say to Mena and meryl to "STOP THIS". They can decide without your suggestion about what, how, and for how long they want to discuss in this thread. Maybe you're the one misunderstanding their intentions. I don't see how you can say the two of them are "fighting" either. If they prefer to discuss in private, they can do it, but I don't think you're the one who can ask them to do it, since this this thread was exactly created for discussing like that and they're not out of topic.

Just my opinion.

Meryl told me she had had a "spat" with mena and she was worried about it and she directed me to read this thread so that I WOULD understand what it was about. Your opinion is without knowing that. Also, I would hope they know me well enough I think to know that when i type "STOP THIS" in capital letters it is meant as a suggestion out of concern for them. I do hate to see my friends not getting along, especially if they draw my attention to it and seem to be asking my opinion on the matter. I am sorry if Mena or Meryl misunderstood my post in the way you did, but I seriously doubt it considering they are both my friends for a reason and I know they both for some odd reason value my opinion.

On top of all this, if you read my post better you probably, would have noticed my mostly neutral stance on their argument (which I did happen to know was an argument) and that my general concern for them was what was emphasized. If I truly had no place to give my opinion even after I was asked it in the fashion I did, I apologize. Now, please, I would appreciate it if people wouldn't jump to conclusions about me and the way I try to offer a little help to my friends. Sorry, Rei, if it sounds like I overreacted, but your post was the last thing I expected to see. Makes me wonder how well I am understood by ppl who do not know me better.
I am sure, out of ppl on these forums, I am one of the ones who makes the least sense...

... but at the same time I don't care... and that's what I like about me.

_RED_ stuff

[happy_doughnut]

Err... don't talk about me like I'm not here.

Anyway, hum. I don't think we're fighting. At least, I'm not and I don't consider this to be a fight. I do agree that maybe this has been enlongated more than it need be. For one, all I was doing was posting about a rather bad day I had that particular day. I was not seeking anyone's anything; I wasn't even thinking anyone was going to reply to the post. It doesn't bother me, though.

The thing is that is it impossible for you to understand from fragments. You are taking bits of what I say and trying to merge them together, meryl and that is why they don't make sense.

Okay:

When I said my dad is never there, I think you took it waaay to literally. It's not like I never see the man. What I meant was that he hardly is around regardless of ocassion. He's hardly present on important dates and on regular dates. He comes home very late and leaves the next day very early. On the weekends I see him a little more, depending on whether he chose to work or not.

Overall, however, I see him pretty little. But my point was that he always seems to manage to always miss events that are important for me. What you are telling me is that it is okay because he works and that I have to understand that. Well, I do understand but I do not agree with you for a second.

I don't care if he works because this to me does not justify him being absent from just about everything. As I have said, there is so much more to a father than "working."

Yes, my dad takes me to the store. Wow! :sarcasm: He takes me whenever he's home, be it cause he just came home from work or because he was out doing other things, so he takes me if he can usually late at night. He doesn't drive me to school; he never has because when he's working when I go. So uh... basically, he takes me out to the mall to buy stuff that I need. IE: school stuff and clothes every now and then.

This is all great and good, but he's not the type of dad who will say, "Hey, I'm not working Sunday, wanna go out to eat?" Nope.

And yes, I wish he would do that every now and then. Or maybe not even that, but it would be nice if I'm say, graduating from HS, and he says, "I'll be there." Instead of, "Sorry, can't go. Lemme watch the movie."

And you know, I am so sorry you go through all those things. And it's great that you have the strength, but don't think that you are the only one that can handle it. I can too and I have handled it. Because I post about my dislike makes me somehow immature? I don't think so.

And personally, I am not one to smile and pretend everything is alright. I hate it and I won't take it. Whenever the situations come up, I walk away or ignore them. I absolutely hate having to pretend I have a super-supper family and lie about it. I won't. If people want to believe it, then they can but I'm not going to be a factor in their misunderstanding. If you can deal with it, then it's admirable because I could not stand it. I mean, I'm not a total ass and sometimes I do say things like, "Yeah, my dad sure does a lot." But I'm not going jump in and say that he's great and awesome if I don't think so.

So no, I don't agree. And I don't think we have to pretend either. Life can suck sometimes but if we are always pretending that it doesn't then we are degrading ourselves that much more.

And it's not that I'm dying for attention. Hell, I'd be dead already. You make it sound like I need him with me 24/7 and I don't. I don't because I've never had that so how can I know if I do? What I am saying is this: I wish my dad were there for and with me on events that are important for me. Promises to me are a huge deal and I hate it when someone promises something and then they bail. And so, I hate it when my dad "promises" to be there, to do something and then at the last minute, backs out for whatever reason. I understand if it's important, but all of the time?

Then you might ask, why do I believe him in the first place? Well, because believing is sometimes the only thing we have. I still trust that someday we will promise to be somewhere and be there! It is important for me, meryl regardless of how unimportant you may think it is. Why? Is it that necessary for me you ask? Yes. And you know what else? I am surprised you would even ask.

You know me more than anyone else here and know me a lot better than most overall. My family is large, yes, but at the same time, it's so small. You know how I have never been able to rely on my brothers or sister for affection, partly because they are only my half brothers because of my mom. It's always been that much harder for me. So who do I really have? My mom and dad. And it's hard when you only have two people and one of them can't even be there.

I hate how my mom has to do sooo much and my dad so little. I hate how my mom, despite all her worries, always manages to be there when I need her and my dad, well, he just can't.

We never have been that close. But just because we aren't doesn't mean this is the way I want it. Unfortunately, this is the way things are and I can't really do anything about them. I do wish he were there and I hate how work is more important that his only child.

I know he has to work, but he works like crazy. He can't stop. He works as if we had nothing to eat, yet thankfully we do. Sometimes it feels to me that he works in order to not be here because being here is probably more difficult than his work.

And I don't think I'm being unreasonable. I see things differently than you. That's all. I understand their responsibilities more than they understand mine. I know what they have to do and I know the strain it put on them. However, they are the ones that decided to have children. Or in this case, just me... and with a child comes more than just working for money. A parent also has to work for other things. A child also has their part and mind you, I think I am adhering to mine just fine. I don't ask them to buy me the world like most girls from this place; I don't ask them to pamper me like I'm a baby; I don't ask them to be my feet or my legs - I don't need them to be there always in order to stand.

All I'm asking is that they be there for me when it is important namely because they are what makes those events important. I didn't give a rats ass about graduating. It wasn't important for me, but it was for them and in that sense it was important for me: because I wanted to do it for them. And if they're not there, then what's the point? My birthdays? Well, it's nice to see your parents there celebrating with you the day you were born. Holidays? Those are meant to be spent with the family and sadly, my family is only my mom and dad. To have one miss it is sad.

All other days? A "hi" is great. A look is fine.

I don't think I'm being a demanding child at all. And I don't think that it's because I don't understand; I understand perfectly. But just because I understand doesn't mean I have to agree and in this case, I don't agree with what you say.

[Redpyramidhead]

Oh wow... what a surprise... neither of them were insulted about what i had to say... and look proof that meryl asked me to look at the thread!? WOW!

_RED_ stuff

[merylsilverburg]

Meryl told me she had had a "spat" with mena and she was worried about it and she directed me to read this thread so that I WOULD understand what it was about.

Yes, this is true, but perhaps I should've said "misunderstanding" instead of "spat" because I didn't realize the word "spat" would have been mistaken for "fighting" or something very negative like that. This is my fault and I apologize. And yes, I did direct you to read this thread only because it was too complicated for me to sum it up in that little space on those MSN messenger things without interruptions. I didn't think that you would've felt so strongly about this...but then again, I should've known you are very passionate about these things which is why I now regret even filling you in on these things. Stupid me...again, this was my fault and again, I apologize.

Now, please, I would appreciate it if people wouldn't jump to conclusions about me and the way I try to offer a little help to my friends. Sorry, Rei, if it sounds like I overreacted, but your post was the last thing I expected to see. Makes me wonder how well I am understood by ppl who do not know me better.

There's no need to snap at Rei like that. It's true that she did jump to conclusions without knowing what was really going on, but because she doesn't know you as well or the situation at hand, what else could she expect when you post out something like that? And the part I underlined, well, what do you expect? Of course people who don't know you as well would probably misunderstand you and whatnot.

Overall, however, I see him pretty little. But my point was that he always seems to manage to always miss events that are important for me. What you are telling me is that it is okay because he works and that I have to understand that. Well, I do understand but I do not agree with you for a second.

It was from your very first post which is why I misunderstood your whole thing about "working." The way you said it, about he can never make it because he "has to work" (especially with the quotation marks) left me with the impression that you are unhappy because he "has to work" which, to me, sounds like "Geez, why does he have to work?" sort-of-thing. Naturally, from the sound of things, it makes me angry because, well, you should know how work-obsessed I am and you should know how jobs/careers are extremely important to me, so naturally, I get pissed when people say things like this.

This is all great and good, but he's not the type of dad who will say, "Hey, I'm not working Sunday, wanna go out to eat?" Nope.

And yes, I wish he would do that every now and then. Or maybe not even that, but it would be nice if I'm say, graduating from HS, and he says, "I'll be there." Instead of, "Sorry, can't go. Lemme watch the movie."

I hate how my mom has to do sooo much and my dad so little. I hate how my mom, despite all her worries, always manages to be there when I need her and my dad, well, he just can't.

We never have been that close. But just because we aren't doesn't mean this is the way I want it. Unfortunately, this is the way things are and I can't really do anything about them. I do wish he were there and I hate how work is more important that his only child.

I know he has to work, but he works like crazy. He can't stop. He works as if we had nothing to eat, yet thankfully we do. Sometimes it feels to me that he works in order to not be here because being here is probably more difficult than his work.

Well, no offense, but all these sound like your father isn't really good at being a father (which is what I already said at the beginning) and whether he does care or not, he's not very good at showing it. And if it seems like he cares more about work or enjoys going to work to avoid being with the family (thus equaling having to be "involved" with family matters which, oh, must be so painful for guys like him :sarcasm:), then again, the guy doesn't sound like a very good dad at all. And yes, you and I are extremely different: if it were me, as I've said in previous posts, I would even care about the guy at all. I wouldn't care whether or not he's there, whether or not he's alive or dead, whether or not he really loves us, etc. Yes, I am pretty much cold-hearted and you are not, because you actually wonder or care about these things...I just didn't realize that you genuinely are as sensitive as you say because I always knew you were a strong person, but I guess you are only strong at certain situations (this is not an insult, by the way, so please do not misunderstand me).

And you know, I am so sorry you go through all those things.

First off, I don't really give a flying f*ck whether people "feel for me" or "feel sorry that I went through stuff" because I honestly wouldn't even say all that about my own father or situations if it were not for this situation where I was trying to make a point (meaning, I used my own past experiences in order to explain my points better). There are plenty more things that have happened that I won't share because why should I? They're my things and they're my troubles, what's the need to share them with the entire world or even close friends, for that matter? And do not think for one second that I am describing all my past experiences as a "pity-me" act because I cannot stand these sort of things or people who do this so I would never do this myself.

And it's great that you have the strength, but don't think that you are the only one that can handle it. I can too and I have handled it. Because I post about my dislike makes me somehow immature? I don't think so.

We never have been that close. But just because we aren't doesn't mean this is the way I want it. Unfortunately, this is the way things are and I can't really do anything about them. I do wish he were there and I hate how work is more important that his only child.

As for you saying "don't think that you are the only one that can handle it. I can too and I have handled it" and the underlined part...alright, so you have the strength to handle these situations and have handled it and if things are the way they are and there's nothing you can do about it...then why do you feel so saddened by it still? You should be used to it by now and have gotten stronger or have more strength to deal with it and know that this is the way it is so what's the point of being sad or unhappy? There are other people who are in the same situation (not necessarily father-related things) of either having to accept/deal with the events at hand or just shrivel up and not do anything and you know what? They would have to choose the first option. Why? Because that's the way life is, you either accept it or you don't. If you choose to accept it, then don't complain or feel emotional because you yourself have chosen it. If you don't accept it, then fine, complain all you want, but don't go around blaming others because you chose not to accept it. It's the same thing with women who believe their boyfriend/husband/fiance/etc/ will "change over the years." *cough* my mom *cough* Hello? The guy is never going to change, why can't you accept it? But no, they believe the guy will change, then when he doesn't, they go off and complain about it but refuse to accept the choice they made to be with the guy, but blame the fact that the guy never changed.

[merylsilverburg]

Previous message too long...:P

And personally, I am not one to smile and pretend everything is alright. I hate it and I won't take it. Whenever the situations come up, I walk away or ignore them. I absolutely hate having to pretend I have a super-supper family and lie about it. I won't. If people want to believe it, then they can but I'm not going to be a factor in their misunderstanding. If you can deal with it, then it's admirable because I could not stand it. I mean, I'm not a total ass and sometimes I do say things like, "Yeah, my dad sure does a lot." But I'm not going jump in and say that he's great and awesome if I don't think so.

So no, I don't agree. And I don't think we have to pretend either. Life can suck sometimes but if we are always pretending that it doesn't then we are degrading ourselves that much more.

Is that right? And do you also apply this way of thinking into dealing with the rest of the world/life/careers/etc. as well? If so, well then all I have to say is 'good luck' because if you refuse to pretend that some amount of your life is good or a situation is good when it's not, then you're going to have a very hard time with other people that are not your family or close friends. You are also more likely to get manipulated by people because they all know the way you are: you can't hide your emotions because you refuse to; you don't want to pretend. If you're angry, you're angry, so what? So, you let it out; you show the world. So, when you are at your job and you've got some co-workers who don't like you as much and they see how easily you show your emotions, oh no, they won't think of some way to manipulate you at your most vulnerable point in order to "get your goat." And then, once they do, you blow up/become sad or unfocused/etc. and don't you think that won't cause you to look weak to your boss or your other co-workers?

You know me more than anyone else here and know me a lot better than most overall. My family is large, yes, but at the same time, it's so small. You know how I have never been able to rely on my brothers or sister for affection, partly because they are only my half brothers because of my mom. It's always been that much harder for me. So who do I really have? My mom and dad. And it's hard when you only have two people and one of them can't even be there.

Yes, I understand this and I know all about your family and the rest. I do understand that you could never rely on your brothers and sisters and I do know that you are not very close with them except for your one brother (and even so, not that close). And I do know that you depend or as you said, highly esteem, your parents and I know that it's painful when they, the only two people you rely on, are, well...unreliable. I do understand this, really. Again, not to be all like "Look-at-Meryl's-Situation" but it was the same thing with me when I was younger; out of my family of 4 (including me) I could only rely on my mom and my sister. Of course, I wasn't able to...my mom went through her bouts of depression, losing complete focus on everything and she had to work late, my sister always ran out and stayed out till the wee hours of the morning hanging out with friends to avoid home and she worked late as well, and my dad....well, he does what he does best: cause more problems, yay! So, what else could I do? I relied on myself and I had to take care of myself but it wasn't easy (and let me tell you, without parental assistance, all of these situations caused me to join the bad crowds, if you know what I mean). At these times, I got angry that my mom and my sister were loopy or irresponsible or acting like f*cking retards and I also wished that they were there when I needed them. So yes, I do understand...but at least you have your mom even if your dad is never there. And while it's not exactly what you wanted, you should be very satisfied that at least you have one person who is there for you. And in my opinion, that person is the most important and most worthwhile your care and attention. :)

However, they are the ones that decided to have children.

Yes, this is true...they are the ones who've decided to have children, so they shouldn't completely disregard their kid when they're the ones who wanted to have a child in the first place. But, some parents don't have a kid on purpose with the intention to abandon them while they're in their teens or whatnot. Situations change; they wanted to have kids because they love kids...they think they would always be there for their kids...but then, something happens which causes them to either not be available for the children or they just begin to lose "interest" <-- horrible thing, but it happens. So whatever the situation may be, blaming our parents with the whole "Well! You're the ones who wanted to have kids!" isn't exactly the right thing to do because you don't know what they intended at the time they wanted to have children.

Oh wow... what a surprise... neither of them were insulted about what i had to say... and look proof that meryl asked me to look at the thread!? WOW!

_RED_ stuff

Man, just chill out already, okay? Are people not allowed to makes mistakes or something?

[Redpyramidhead]

OK... I was in a bad mood last night... my apologies for snapping at anyone. I guess am just out of touch and clueless at the moment. I thought for sure that there was this big thing going on between you Meryl and Mena and cuz of the way you kept going on and on it only lead me to think more on along the lines of "oh geez... im worried about these two now... I know mostly from Mena that she and Meryl are very very close and she almost thinks of her as an older sister at times... the one she never had..." etc and so I was worried that because of a misunderstanding the two of you might have haulted being able to talk to eachother so of course I was like "STOP THIS" you know what I mean? I guess nothing nearly as dramatic as I was worried was going on, but that's what I thought and was how I responded. Sorry for being on the dumb side this time around. Sigh...

BTW, Im sorry we couldnt talk longer online that night. My buddy called me and he's a busy guy usually n the fact he is one of the few ppl who takes tha time to call me these days... well I had to and wanted to talk to him. Otherwise, had he not called, I would have talked to you more about what was going on because from the look of things it seemed to me that you were upset about the situation and I wanted to help a friend out by listening... which is why I had hoped you had been on but a half hour later, but oh well.

And Rei, sorry for snapping. If you knew what had been bothering me last night in my personal life... well that's what made me displace some of my anger. It was pretty unnecessary to go off on anyone like that, I agree.

Well, I guess I missed the boat on this whole thing, so I guess I will just try and stay out of it unless somebody specifically asks me for a comment.

PEACE

_RED_ stuff



_RED_ stuff

[Redpyramidhead]

I just didn't realize that you genuinely are as sensitive as you say because I always knew you were a strong person, but I guess you are only strong at certain situations (this is not an insult, by the way, so please do not misunderstand me).


Dont worry... I don't think mena would misunderstand and I'm not misunderstanding either, but I would just like to say that I have this strong belief that people can be both strong and sensitive at the same time. The balance is hard to achieve and makes many people want to give up, which is why a lot of people tend to go one way or the other, but one of my biggest ideals in life is the balance between strength and sensitivity and the belief that they can coexist and work together in one's life. Believe me, I have battled trial after trial that has caused me to slide one way or the other with my sensitivity taking over or my so called strength while pretending I don't feel. I have found that one doesnt truly exist in your life without the other without it having negative effects. Atleast, this is the case for me and most people I know. There are different levels of functioning and balancing the two I recognize, also. One must adapt to thier ever changing situations at points in their life. Whoa... ranting here... umm sorry for the interruption... sneaks out the back door...

_RED_ stuff

[Lost_myth]

Mark is right. This isn't the best place to spill your emotions. It is better if you and the person you are frustrated with just work it out or compromise. Just telling other people how you feel, who have nothing to do with the situation, only gives you temporary relief but it won't fix the problem in the end. So you are suck feeling the way you do over and over again until you and your loved one works on the relationship. Trust me, you can ask mark, I've been through all of this sh*t since I was like 13.

You might as well sit down and try to relearn eachother because I'm sure both or how many of you have changed. And the other person may not see the changes or know who you are anymore. So how can you deal with eachother in a positive way if you don't know eachother?

My two cents, this isn't a good idea.

[Faile]

Coming back on topic somewhat, but continuing a father based theme, my relationship with my father has always been a great source of sadness in my life. Since he left me at ten, I've always really lacked the central paternal figure in my life. It took me many many years to forgive him for leaving in the manner he did (oh, too much to go into here, although it's possibly responsible for my hatred of the male gender), but I think I've forgiven him now. Although some things still burn, like the fact I still need to ask him for money and the guilt it causes me, because I hate to think of the fact that he is only that; someone to bail me out when I have no money. I'm sad and bitter and jealous altogether; he remarried and had a daughter. It's hard to watch a child grow up with the stability and love you've lacked somewhat and see said child lavished and happy, knowing what security and stability is. But I've forgiven him and I do love my father, just in a strange tarnished way. I don't think I'd ever want children of my own. I'd ruin them.

Strange to be typing this here, but why not? I was inspired by the thread content. Complication indeed.

Mother I've tried please believe me, I'm doing the best that I can.
I'm ashamed of the things I've been put through, I'm ashamed of the person I am.

[happy_doughnut]

Gah, I don't like quoting... it's too much work. :laugh:

Anyways, well... I think this is a misunderstanding by the way things have been said. Personally, I never thought this to be a fight or anything... there have been some misunderstandings but mainly just differences in opinions. And well, I think I can speak for both meryl and me when I say that we would like to think ourselves civilized enough to have differences in opinions, discuss them, and remain the same. I think her no less my friend because of this; the opposite is true. :) I think she may agree.

As for emmotions... well, I think the only "emmotional" posts were probably the firsts where the complications were posted, not these latter ones as these are just kinda expressing two different view points.

This is to say... no, I'm not going to sit down with my dad and try to work it out because, ahh... how to say it? It has been so many years that even if I tried and so did he, it would be a matter of more years to set the record sraight. In this case, I don't think words alone suffice.

And meryl: I really dislike the post you made in reply to one of Red's quotes. It's not your fault. From what I read, you probably asked him to read the thread since its hard to explain everything that went on in a small messenger box. Plus, it's easier to make things get more complicated that way. You probably figured it was best if he read it himself to understand what misunderstanding you were talking about. I don't see how that is your fault. Maybe he is the one that misunderstood the thread and whatever he says, happy or angry, is up to him. It's not your fault if he or anyone else says something rude or whatnot. Don't take fault; you made none.

Anyways, continuing this discussion of the different ways parents can be seen...

... and picking up along the lines red talked about...

I disagree again. You're telling me you can't be sensitive and strong at the same time? That's wrong. As red said, it is a fine line indeed, but it is possible. By me saying that I am sensitive (or you saying it) I mean that these things are important to me and that I do care. It does not mean that I cry and rant and whine and put on tantrum after tantrum every chance I get because I don't. That's not even being sensitive, that's just stupid. But thankfully, I have the strength to acknowledge that I do in fact care about the situations that permeate my family, my mom and dad, admit my feelings, namely and mostly to myself, and then let them go.

It's true that there is always a sence of vacancy in me because the spot where my dad is supposed to be is empty nearly all of the time, but it's not like everything breathing moment I think about this. No. It's only when they happen that I feel, remember, and regret. After it, I am alright.

I don't dwell on the memories that are not even there all of the time. There is so much to worry about in this life that doting on a single worry if meaningless; the world will pass you by. And I faithfully believe that life is a huge struggle, but that without any such struggle, then there will be no reward.

These are my struggles. The times when I feel like I wish... just wish I could cry and grab my dad's arm and tell him I don't accept his decline, but I can't. It is not my place. I can only account for what I do, say, feel, think etcetera... not for anyone else. So I sigh. I sigh because I think, "Great... so, what else is new?" And yes, I feel sad. And I feel even sadder when I see the empty seats next to my mother on those special days. But after it, I am okay. As I said before, there is nothing I can do because I am here; it is my dad who is not. And well, I just won't force him to come if he so doesn't wish. It's just not the way I am.

This sounds like weakness to you? Not to me. I am not comparing myself to a rock, mainly because of the extra flab I have been getting around the sides.... ... because I am not. But I am also not your teary eyed teen-going-to-adult. I am sensitive in that I feel a rush of something whenever I get displeasing news. This can be seen by my momentary inability to hold anything in my hand at the time. But I also have enough "strength" or whatever you want to call it to feel it and acknowledge that I am feeling it and let it go.

I didn't let it go because I ranted? Well, everyone rants. Here, there, anywhere, or everywhere - everyone does it at one time or another. If by me feeling upset and saying it makes me "weak" then anyone that rants is weak.

And you are getting something wrong. My emotions and outside situations are two different things. Don't confuse or try to mix them together. My feelings are exclusive meaning that well, I try not to talk about them much. Not because it's cool or because no one will understand or whatever, but simply because I don't like to. There are only a few people, namely 2, that I tell most of my things to and you know who those are. Not everything, but much more than anyone else because I feel free to do so. Now for everyone else, I don't "pretend" I am okay; I just don't say anything. My feelings have nothing to do with anyone else, meaning that if I feel like shit, it doesn't mean I go out and bit everyone's heads off. It's not pretending, it's reasoning. It's as if, for example, I am angry because the apple tastes bad. This doesn't mean I'm going to be angry at the peaches and oranges. It's not their fault so why should they be entwined? I don't see this as pretending that everything is fine. Pretending I think comes into play when you are boiling inside and you smiiiiile even though you want to cry and when people ask "are you okay?" you say "YES!!" Exggerated to make a point of course.

With me, though... I don't have to do this because I know how I feel. I'm mad so I cuss everything visible to hell in my head and then I hear someone call my name. What do I do? I just go. I don't need to put on an angry face or a happy face. Shit. I only have one freaking face and this is the one I put on all the time. Most of the time I just look sleepy so I guess that's why no one even bothers to ask. :D

So, nah. I don't pretend. I just take control as much as I can. What if someone asks... well, they don't because they can never tell but if it were to happen, I suppose I would say, "Hm? Do you want me to be angry?"

It's all technique.

What I mean about pretending is this: Say X wins something which I know and X knows s/he doesn't desserve. S/He gets much acclaim. I just don't jump in on the bandwagon. I just won't be a hypocrite. Will that get me fired? Maybe. I don't see why anyone would fire me for not applauding someone's congratulations of whom I don't approve. That simple. I will not, I have not and I never plan to, lie to myself and say, "Ohh, yeah. That X sure is great." There are plenty of people who think differently, so they can fill in the job.

And to tell you the truth. Up until today, I have yet to be reprimanded for my being this way. It's just not wrong - I'm not doing anything wrong. I just won't put on a plastic face and pretend I agree with someone or something in order to please.

And I don't play manipulation games anymore. I've seen them in all their dirty faces. Maybe this is why I have such distant relationships with peeople in general. I won't lie and be lied to. Not anymore... and you know what I mean.

And yeah. I think this is why you understand... because you have gone through things that are similar in a way. It is hard. It is hard to be so young and to feel that there is no one there to help you. Remember my bastard boyfriend incident? Ugh. I wish I didn't. But at that time, more than anything else in the world I wanted someone to be there instead of at work or dealing with other things. It was so hard to get through that virtually alone. Why? I knew that maybe if I had said something, someone would have helped, that person being my mom. But as you say and as I have said too, it feels bad to go to someone who already has their own bundle of problems with your own. It's hard and after not doing so for such a long time, doing it would somehow be even harder.

[happy_doughnut]

Sorry for the double post. I somehow managed to go over the limit. X_X;

:laugh: Ouch meryl. I'm an unwanted baby. Haha. That's so mean, but so true. As far as I go, I was planned! Although, my dad wanted a boy... and my mom wanted a girl... In their sted, they got me: a hybrid of boy and girl. :laugh:

So, yeah... they wanted me, dammit! Don't leave me live a vegetable to grow myself. Hmph!

And I don't pity you. I never have. There are many things that are admirable of you, so don't say that. I am sorry that you go through all the things you tell me, not because I pity you, but because I care and I honest to goodness don't believe you desserve them, so I feel bad. Bad because, again, not of pity, but of sadness that it seems as if the better people in this world seem to get battered the most. This is a type of cosmic irony that I will never understand.

And plus, you know that I think you as my friend and by now you ought to know that pity, in my opinion, is a sign of an enemy, not a friend.

If my dad a good dad? I don't know. I don't have another dad to compare him with... but I do feel that he lacks in places. Sometimes he fails to fulfill his role. But even though, I still believe that someday things will seem different. Nothing ever lasts forever. And maybe this will too someday change.

I only have one dad and while he may be the cause of my profane language sometimes, I still love him. I don't know why. I love how Faile put it: it's a strange and tarnished love.

Maybe I'm just another stupid idealist, but I still wait for the day when I get his embrace because I will welcome it.

I think that maybe it takes years of experience to better understand parental love and dis-love. There's a Chinese proverb that say something along the lines of, "To understand your parent's love, bear your own children." Maybe only when the child becomes the mother or father will they better understand what the parents did... the "why" that is always oh, so difficult to answer... for better or for worse. Or maybe all we have to do is age more and understand more the complexities a "real" adult (in age) goes through and how they emit them onto others.

Who knows?

[Redpyramidhead]

I just wanted to say that I LOVE ALL OF YOU! *GROUP HUG* :roll:


_RED_ stuff

[Redpyramidhead]

Since he left me at ten, I've always really lacked the central paternal figure in my life. It took me many many years to forgive him for leaving in the manner he did (oh, too much to go into here, although it's possibly responsible for my hatred of the male gender), but I think I've forgiven him now. [/i]



Never apologize for being a man, brother. Especially not to a woman. It is your god- given right to be who you are. Remember that, man. ALWAYS. Occasionally we owe women apologies for other things, but NEVER for being MALE and who we are and the way we act because of it. PEACE, man!!!

_RED_ stuff

[merylsilverburg]

Anyways, well... I think this is a misunderstanding by the way things have been said. Personally, I never thought this to be a fight or anything... there have been some misunderstandings but mainly just differences in opinions. And well, I think I can speak for both meryl and me when I say that we would like to think ourselves civilized enough to have differences in opinions, discuss them, and remain the same. I think her no less my friend because of this; the opposite is true. :) I think she may agree.

Yes, to me, these were all misunderstandings but as you said, it's more like differences in opinions. :P

This is to say... no, I'm not going to sit down with my dad and try to work it out because, ahh... how to say it? It has been so many years that even if I tried and so did he, it would be a matter of more years to set the record sraight. In this case, I don't think words alone suffice.

Even though I said earlier to try talking with him, now that I think about it, it might not even work out anyway, not to be pessimistic. I mean, if the guy absolutely refuses or avoids being home like the plague, it's very unlikely he will change in one night because the guy seems rather stubborn and/or in denial of responsibilities.

And meryl: I really dislike the post you made in reply to one of Red's quotes. It's not your fault. From what I read, you probably asked him to read the thread since its hard to explain everything that went on in a small messenger box. Plus, it's easier to make things get more complicated that way. You probably figured it was best if he read it himself to understand what misunderstanding you were talking about. I don't see how that is your fault. Maybe he is the one that misunderstood the thread and whatever he says, happy or angry, is up to him. It's not your fault if he or anyone else says something rude or whatnot. Don't take fault; you made none.

Ah well, it was my fault because I should've known the way Red is by now so I shouldn't have said anything that would've caused him to be concerned or having to come in between to help the situation.

I disagree again. You're telling me you can't be sensitive and strong at the same time? That's wrong. As red said, it is a fine line indeed, but it is possible. By me saying that I am sensitive (or you saying it) I mean that these things are important to me and that I do care. It does not mean that I cry and rant and whine and put on tantrum after tantrum every chance I get because I don't. That's not even being sensitive, that's just stupid. But thankfully, I have the strength to acknowledge that I do in fact care about the situations that permeate my family, my mom and dad, admit my feelings, namely and mostly to myself, and then let them go.

You misunderstood what I said about "being sensitive" and "being strong." I never said that people could not be sensitive and strong at the same time, but in your case, I always knew you were a strong person and you always tell me that you're quite sensitive, but I never really "believed" you because I always think that you're feeling down when you say those things, but in reality, you know you are a strong person, so you don't dwell too much on these "sensitive" subjects. But now, I know that you are a strong person, but feel very strongly about these sensitive sort of subjects....that was quite repetitive, but I hope you got what I said. :right:

It's true that there is always a sence of vacancy in me because the spot where my dad is supposed to be is empty nearly all of the time, but it's not like everything breathing moment I think about this. No. It's only when they happen that I feel, remember, and regret. After it, I am alright.

I don't dwell on the memories that are not even there all of the time. There is so much to worry about in this life that doting on a single worry if meaningless; the world will pass you by. And I faithfully believe that life is a huge struggle, but that without any such struggle, then there will be no reward.

For the first paragraph, I understand what you're saying because I also do that too, but it depends on the situation. Regarding my dad, I don't really give a damn because, as I said before, I just have ice running through my veins or something because I just don't feel so saddened or strongly about this especially since my father is such an *******. As for the second paragraph, I have to say that I'm relieved to hear you say that; so many times we've talked it seems like you're always constantly worried about something or something is lingering on your mind...which makes me think that you are like me, who lingers on and on and on about a single problem or something troubling or whatnot. This isn't a good thing to do and while I know this, I can't help but to do this (I got it from my mom, what can I say? Put us together and we're like a couple of depressive maniacs). So I'm relieved that you don't do this because it's terrible for one's health and mind.

I didn't let it go because I ranted? Well, everyone rants. Here, there, anywhere, or everywhere - everyone does it at one time or another. If by me feeling upset and saying it makes me "weak" then anyone that rants is weak.

I didn't say that people who ranted about these sort of things are considered weak, but as I said before, the context in your very first post made it seem like you are constantly experiencing this problem over and over again and that it wasn't just a simple "one-time rant." Which is why I went off and misunderstood you...I just thought that you just didn't understand the situation at hand (like your father has to work to provide money that's why he can't always be there, etc.) which is why I got a bit angry at you for seemingly not understanding these sort of things but also I got angry out of concern because I didn't want you to misunderstand your father's intentions or this situation because you would forever continue to get upset or angry about this exact same situation ("My dad's never there! I would like him to be there for me!") when it wasn't necessary.

Now for everyone else, I don't "pretend" I am okay; I just don't say anything. My feelings have nothing to do with anyone else, meaning that if I feel like shit, it doesn't mean I go out and bit everyone's heads off. It's not pretending, it's reasoning. It's as if, for example, I am angry because the apple tastes bad. This doesn't mean I'm going to be angry at the peaches and oranges. It's not their fault so why should they be entwined? I don't see this as pretending that everything is fine. Pretending I think comes into play when you are boiling inside and you smiiiiile even though you want to cry and when people ask "are you okay?" you say "YES!!" Exggerated to make a point of course.

No, it's the same thing. You're describing a situation involving fruit: an unimportant and open subject...of course if you get a bad apple, you're not going to blame the whole world that you got a bad apple. And if someone asks "Hey, how's your apple?" of course in this situation you can say "Ugh, this apple is spoiled!" (not in a blaming way, just in a sharing way because it's okay to share that you had a bad apple because people know it's not their fault). But what if the situation was a personal and important situation where, it's not everyone else's fault and what you're feeling doesn't concern them either, but still, someone asks you "How are you feeling?"...you're going to have to pretend and say "I'm doing fine, thanks!" because this situation doesn't concern them since it's a personal thing, so why bother going off and saying "Omigod, no! I'm not doing fine!"

[merylsilverburg]

I think all of my double-posting could equal half a novel right about now, LOL.

What I mean about pretending is this: Say X wins something which I know and X knows s/he doesn't desserve. S/He gets much acclaim. I just don't jump in on the bandwagon. I just won't be a hypocrite. Will that get me fired? Maybe. I don't see why anyone would fire me for not applauding someone's congratulations of whom I don't approve. That simple. I will not, I have not and I never plan to, lie to myself and say, "Ohh, yeah. That X sure is great." There are plenty of people who think differently, so they can fill in the job.

You don't see why people would have an attitude with you if you don't applaude Person X for winning something they didn't deserve? Um...I'm not exactly sure why you would think this way because, as you said, only you and Person X knows that Person X didn't deserve to win whatever they won. The rest of the workplace doesn't know that, right? So, if you don't applaude or pretend to applaude Person X even though you know s/he didn't deserve it, everyone will think that you're a bad sport or something and then, guess what? You end up being the "bad guy." Things will end up being bad for your situation, do you not realize this? You're the one who's going to have it tough if you don't pretend. Sure, go ahead and think "Don't worry, karma will bite Person X's ass and things will be set straight" but uh...this rarely happens. I must be honest with you; your way of thinking in this situation is very naive. You cannot be 100% honest all the time...yes, doing this sort of thing is being hypocritical...but the rest of the world doesn't know this. While you're there trying your best not to be hypocritical, Person X is taking all the glory and you end up looking like the "bad guy" which might cause a potential job loss. I mean, maybe it's fun for you to search for jobs constantly, but for most normal people, they like to keep and stick to one job instead of starting over from the bottom again and again and again.

:laugh: Ouch meryl. I'm an unwanted baby. Haha. That's so mean, but so true. As far as I go, I was planned! Although, my dad wanted a boy... and my mom wanted a girl... In their sted, they got me: a hybrid of boy and girl. :laugh:

Wow, you too? O_O;;; In my situation, if my mother had married the "right guy" me and my sister are actually supposed to be guys not girls (that's what a fortune teller in Taiwan told my mom...and yes, this was a real fortune teller not some hokey "Psychic Friends" BS, LOL).

And I don't pity you. I never have. There are many things that are admirable of you, so don't say that. I am sorry that you go through all the things you tell me, not because I pity you, but because I care and I honest to goodness don't believe you desserve them, so I feel bad. Bad because, again, not of pity, but of sadness that it seems as if the better people in this world seem to get battered the most. This is a type of cosmic irony that I will never understand.

And plus, you know that I think you as my friend and by now you ought to know that pity, in my opinion, is a sign of an enemy, not a friend.

Gomen. I do have a hard time trusting people a lot of times and the times when I do and I call them my "friends", they end up saying they "pity me" or "aww...poor you...but you're not the only one with problems" when I describe some of my situations, which is why I just wanted to set the record straight that I care not for any pity or any sympathy or whatnot in case anyone misunderstands or claims I desire "attention" or something.

If my dad a good dad? I don't know. I don't have another dad to compare him with... but I do feel that he lacks in places. Sometimes he fails to fulfill his role. But even though, I still believe that someday things will seem different. Nothing ever lasts forever. And maybe this will too someday change.

I only have one dad and while he may be the cause of my profane language sometimes, I still love him. I don't know why. I love how Faile put it: it's a strange and tarnished love.

Maybe I'm just another stupid idealist, but I still wait for the day when I get his embrace because I will welcome it.

Good grief, with everyone having such a good and/or forgiving heart, I guess I really am just "Bitchy-McBitch" after all. -_-;;; I don't know how you people do it because I certainly would not and will not forgive my dad for all the pain he's caused. I don't care if he's homeless, dying on the street, suffering from a disease, I will never forgive him. The bastard deserved it, so there.

I think that maybe it takes years of experience to better understand parental love and dis-love. There's a Chinese proverb that say something along the lines of, "To understand your parent's love, bear your own children." Maybe only when the child becomes the mother or father will they better understand what the parents did... the "why" that is always oh, so difficult to answer... for better or for worse. Or maybe all we have to do is age more and understand more the complexities a "real" adult (in age) goes through and how they emit them onto others.

Who knows?

I may come off as arrogant for what I'm about to say but: in my case, I don't need to bear my own children nor do I need to age more in order to understand what my mother/parents go through. God, I act like exactly like my mother...I lecture like her, I become worried/concerned like her, I provide advice like her...and some people my age have even thought of me as "motherly" which really just seals the deal, eh? LOL

[Faile]

I may come off as arrogant for what I'm about to say but: in my case, I don't need to bear my own children nor do I need to age more in order to understand what my mother/parents go through. God, I act like exactly like my mother...I lecture like her, I become worried/concerned like her, I provide advice like her...and some people my age have even thought of me as "motherly" which really just seals the deal, eh? LOL

I don't know though. Without meaning to sound patronising and without knowing the situation, I always used to look at my parents and think I could understand the way their minds work, the burdens they've carried or the problems I've caused them, but now it's been about three years since I last lived at home, I've grown used to the problems of adult society and have become far more understanding as to the reality of the life they have lived.

Parents are flawed creatures with all the problems we have, despite the fact we want them to be perfect deep down in our hearts, they will let us down and they will upset us and act selfishly. I sometimes wonder if we all remain as children deep down, unable to really process and deal with things like cooking, paying bills and having somewhere nice to live with a cat and a good book. Certainly though, my experiences of family have convinced me never to become a father, I'd hate to destroy the sheer love and respect a child would hold me in the way it inevitably would happen. I'm sorry, kinda off topic rant again.

Carry on guys!

[Redpyramidhead]

Ah well, it was my fault because I should've known the way Red is by now so I shouldn't have said anything that would've caused him to be concerned or having to come in between to help the situation.





You "...should have known the way Red is by now..."?? :shock: *blink* *blink* *blink* Wow.. I think I might be batting zero around here right now... sigh...

_RED_ stuff

[kamari-ice]

Red, you just love being into other people's stuff. Well, I created this thread to let emotions run wild, so I can not say anything against what you did. But, you should have let them handle their own situation. But, some other people are bound to come and speak of their emotions and problems. It betters peoples lives when they talk about things.

[Keyblade Master]

Now for my problems.

I was in 6th period in school, and I'm minding my own business. We had a Sub so the others didn't give a shit about what the teacher did or said.
My rriends cousin, Brian, (aka:Buckwheat) and his friends Jeremy, (Shave-ass) and Dilorian (Steam'n Beaman.) were sitting next to me with Jeremys'
cell phone. I was peacefully playing my SP/Pokemon Emerald in peace,
then out of nowhere, they sit near me and start to interview me, with the cell. I think this is how it went:

Brian: Hello, I'm Brian Gumbull, (Fake name.) and I'm here with Gary Berteer. (Me, yeah right.) Now Mr. Berteer what do you have to say for our audience.

Me: Get that SH#@ away from here!

Brian: Smashing words Mr.Berteer, now let's get some replies from our sivilians. You sir, what do you have to say about Mr.Berteer??

T.A:.......

Me: Shut, up! You don't even know me!!

Brian: Please Calm yourself Mr.Berteer, now your reply.

T.A: .....He's a dork....

Brian: My words exactly. Nice. And you sir what are your words??

Jeremy: Two words: X-Men. (My sideburns, WHICH ARE SHAVED NOW!!!!!)

Brian: Mr. Berteer some people say you look like Wolverine, is that true??

Me: You're a total Jackass.

Brian: Please Mr.Dork-I mean Mr.Berteer. Now what are your thoughts.

Jeremy: Probably, the "Anixation of Portarico" ("Little Giants" Quote)

Brian:(Imataites me) Hi, guys I'm Gary and-

(Rambling)

Brian:(Imataites me) Shut, up I know My name, I just wanted to tell you
a joke. Whats the diffrents between the square root of 98% and the square root of 98% percent?? 98%!!

Brian: Well there you have it folks, Gary is a Dork. I'm Brian Gumbull,
on CNN news, "And that's how the cookie crumbles."

END...


:cussing: :cussing: :cussing:

[Redpyramidhead]

Red, you just love being into other people's stuff. Well, I created this thread to let emotions run wild, so I can not say anything against what you did. But, you should have let them handle their own situation. But, some other people are bound to come and speak of their emotions and problems. It betters peoples lives when they talk about things.


Quite often my friends invite me into their situations and issues, so being used to it I think I mistook something meryl said as being more serious than it was, and responded with a few comments out of concern. It was not my intention to disrupt the thread. Also, mena and meryl n I are still cool n everything :laugh: so... don't think it was bigger than it was either. I just write dramatically at times... :P

I was peacefully playing my SP/Pokemon Emerald in peace,
then out of nowhere, they sit near me and start to interview me, with the cell. I think this is how it went:

Brian: Hello, I'm Brian Gumbull, (Fake name.) and I'm here with Gary Berteer. (Me, yeah right.) Now Mr. Berteer what do you have to say for our audience.

Me: Get that SH#@ away from here!

Brian: Smashing words Mr.Berteer, now let's get some replies from our sivilians. You sir, what do you have to say about Mr.Berteer??

T.A:.......

Me: Shut, up! You don't even know me!!

Brian: Please Calm yourself Mr.Berteer, now your reply.

T.A: .....He's a dork....

Brian: My words exactly. Nice. And you sir what are your words??

Jeremy: Two words: X-Men. (My sideburns, WHICH ARE SHAVED NOW!!!!!)

Brian: Mr. Berteer some people say you look like Wolverine, is that true??

Me: You're a total Jackass.

Brian: Please Mr.Dork-I mean Mr.Berteer. Now what are your thoughts.

Jeremy: Probably, the "Anixation of Portarico" ("Little Giants" Quote)

BrianImataites me) Hi, guys I'm Gary and-

(Rambling)

BrianImataites me) Shut, up I know My name, I just wanted to tell you
a joke. Whats the diffrents between the square root of 98% and the square root of 98% percent?? 98%!!

Brian: Well there you have it folks, Gary is a Dork. I'm Brian Gumbull,
on CNN news, "And that's how the cookie crumbles."

END...

Based on this post and the rest of your posts it sounds like you are a frustrated guy... so Im a try n help you out with a ramble here about some shit I've learned... I don't know if it all applies... but this is the idea I am getting... or the picture as I see it...

It sounds like you are having trouble getting picked on if I'm right? Well, first of all, let me tell you that you are not alone... your little dialogue that you have posted here reminds me of (now thinking back 10 years cuz im now 24) my experience in 7th grade. That year was probably the height of when I was picked on in my life. I would be sitting at a desk, minding my own business (same as you) and a few kids would always wander over n surround me and proceed to find something to bug me about.

Well, looking back now it all seems so simple to me. I ask myself questions like why didnt I just say this or why didnt I just say that or shrug my shoulders at the obviously bored kids. Well, everybody wants to fit in with their peers or atleast not feel like the very object of their fun at your expense. That can feel humiliating. I remember it as I think about it now. Simply, put... could I have maintained an attitude that would have saved me a lot of this grief and kept them uninterested in bothering me, possibly even finding something cool about me?

The answer is mostly good. Yes, their could be an attitude adjustment that you could make that could help you.
First of all, though, REMAIN WHO YOU ARE and DO NOT CHANGE BECAUSE OF ANYBODY, even if they give you a hard time.
The attitude adjustment I was talking about is complicated for somebody younger, but in the grand scheme of things, its actually pretty simple. JUST DONT GIVE A FUCK ABOUT WHAT OTHER PEOPLE THINK. And by this I mean the ones who dont respect you. But that doesnt mean be that way towards everybody... just the kids who are bored and no better than their stupid games. Only give a fuck about those who try to give you advice or help. Don't always take their advice... but you'll learn to know a good person on your side sooner or later this way in life.
Yo... the nutshell of all this is... just shrug them off... dont give em what they want... dont immediately react with "fuck you *******" all the time... trick is...dont let them know what you're thinking... don't let people change you who obviously don't know anything about life yet themselves... dumb kids.

BTW, I used to idolize the character that wolverine is... I would not have minded resembling him even slightly...heh... I say go for the sideburns if you dig em. Make your style however the fuck you want it... make it known.

Feel free to ignore all this dude if it has nothing to do with you... LOL

PEACE



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