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tha16thletter
Jul 20th, 2003, 01:39 PM
Huddled solemnly lay masses of dreams broken along side hopeless wishes unfulfilled,
potential trapped and buried with others not too unlike themselves, yearning to yield,
trapped, the mind’s retina clouded with Despair’s glaucoma, Joy’s vision long gone,
a voiceless call cries forth inside us all, echoing off walls that know no such song,
Long passed are the days spent basking in life’s prosperity, I don’t want to admit
the rarity of happiness is disheartening, to say the least, but what’s more is the
narrowing of the space necessary to carry out the Master Plan is appalling,
the scar tissue of skin and muscle and bone and sinew and heart and soul
and mind and spirit and love and glee and sharing and caring is stalling
the movement of making this better for you, me, them, and everyone;
I then find myself pushing out to find only resistance on each and
every side of me, from end to end I get equal or greater force
that tries denying me of my happiness, but I make it all by
myself, I decide my own fate, this world can only be
a gate between being on top or facing the long fall-
trapped, between a rock and a hard place, it’s a
feat just to make it this far, I look upward and
pray for a better way, the day breaks but my
angle’s obscured by hate and all types of
predetermined sh**, b*stards put it in
my path just to stop my escape,
this may be good enough for
you, but this isn’t a life for
me, the huddled masses
need guidance, be that
beacon of sunshine,
destined to make
a difference felt
many times
over and
testify
power
full
for
you
and
I.
--------------------------------
I almost didn't wanna post this because it's really supposed to be centered,and you can't center on this forum... buuuut atleast you guys can read it. It's sposed to have a triangular shape. :)

Hylas
Aug 7th, 2003, 06:56 AM
Interesting style, also visually, with decreasing number of words for each line. Thanks for telling us of the triangular shape (which should suggest the idea of "trap", right?), because from here it only seems the words decrease, but I haven't thought of the shape until reading from your post :heh:

But overall seems a pretty angsty work, even if it ends with the "you and I", which to me is pretty unclear, since I didn't get who this "you" you're referring to is.

Black Heart
Aug 10th, 2003, 06:55 AM
Yes, the triangle shape is a cool idea. Underlines the sense of entrapment.

Redpyramidhead
Dec 18th, 2003, 04:58 AM
Plus, he mentioned the word "narrowing." Very cool:cool:

_RED_ stuff