"Defective"

[tha16thletter]

I think I am defective
built and delivered with missing parts
a few screws loose, most thoughts undetected
infected
with weapons of mass destructiveness
in my heart,
if I’d been tested
My ass no doubt would have been quickly rejected-
dropped me in S&H,
at least once or twice
thrice possibly... maybe four
maybe more
maybe before
maybe I’s born
save me, baby I’m torn
baby I scorn
the day that this here baby was ever born-
cracked lenses led me to believe
everything that I see
is really real,
real is
deceptive,
like a collective mass of detectives and tax collectors;
my heart pumps cold
stricken, thickened by mishandling untold,
my sensory nerves short circuit-
me in love? It’s a sight to behold;
I think my senses were sold
to the highest bidder
and why the f*** am I so damn bitter?
What made me such a quitter?
My eyes flitter
in search
of a church-like assembly
that I relate to
continually,
I just wanna fit in
with all those who were made properly
my tag reads:
“PROPERTY OF THE UNITED STATES, 1986, All Rights Reserved”
wait
is it really this place that created me?
Damn, I thought I came from a better herd,
Wait
why are my knees trembly?
Am I missing my Patella?
Why do my hands shake?
Is there a break in my Ulna?
I’ll tell ya
I was made this way
I’m not the fastest, the smartest or the strongest
the shortest or the longest
the tallest or the most afrocentrongest...
s***, that aint even a word is it?
You know my brain was misassembled
so forgive and forget it.

All in all I am proud
of the Paul
that I’ve become
regardless the of defects...

Regardless of the defects.
[]D

[Meiko]

I think the poem is quite good, sounds like the person who wrote it (you) found himself. It's like getting to know yourself.

[Rei]

Some parts of it seems about acceptance, some others like if this acceptance is still impossible to achieve. It's pretty harsh towards the self, but it doesn't fall into self-pity, which is a good quality IMO.

[Zephyr]

OK this is a good poem because of two reasons

The first reason is that even though it is harsh towards the self you do not fall into the usual trap that some people fall into in poems/stories and go towards self pity. This shows quality in the writing.

The second reason is that (how do I put this) it works! Basically from start to finish it uses good structure and wordage. Thats baout all I acn say on the topic really.