The Funniest Thing I Heard Was.......

[Kimahri]

What was the funniest thing you ever heard, or of been told about. It could be from a movie or book. I want a little humor in my life, so make me laugh.

Ive never heard anything funny yet, except for Austin Powers.
:laugh:

[Pu the Owl]

It is not the funniest thing I've ever seen or heard, but it's quite funny to look at:

http://digilander.libero.it/zoein/kitty.jpg

I'll think of something better... later... :heh:

[DSgamer]

the funniest thing i heard was a long time ago, these guys rented a hotel while they were on a trip. they left for a while and when they came back they found all their stuff moved around, nothing was missing though. then when they went back home, they developed their camera's film a week later and found pictures of the ppl who worked at the hotel shoving their toothbrushes up their butts. i read it on cnn a long time ago

[Piggle_humsy]

EVER WONDER...
...why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?
...why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?
...why you don't ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?
...why "abbreviated" is such a long word?
...why doctors call what they do "practice"?
...why you have to click on "Start" to stop Windows 98?
...why lemon juice is made with artificial flavour, while
dishwashing liquid is made with real lemons?
...why the man who invests all your money is called a broker?
...why there isn't mouse-flavoured cat food?
...who tastes dog food when it has a "new & improved" flavour?
...why Noah didn't swat those two mosquitoes?
...why they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
...why they don't make the whole plane out of the material used for the indestructible black box ?
...why sheep don't shrink when it rains?
...why they are called apartments when they are all stuck together?
...if con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?
...why they call the airport "the terminal" if flying is so safe?

>AND...
>
>In case you need further proof that the human race is doomed because
of
>stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer
goods...
>
>On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. (darn, and that's
the
>only time I have to work on my hair).
>
>On a bag of Fritos: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary.
>Details inside. (the shoplifter special?)
>
>On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (and that

>would be how???....)
>
>On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (but,
>it's "just" a suggestion).
>
>On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside
>down." (well...duh, a bit late, huh)!
>
>On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after
heating."
> (...and you thought????...)
>
>On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (but
>wouldn't this save me more time?)
>
>On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate
>Machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce

>the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those
>5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)
>
>On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (and...I'm
taking
>this because???....)
>
>On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only."

>(as opposed to...what?)
>
>
>On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use."
>(now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)
>
>On Sainsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (talk about a news
>flash!)
>
>On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet,
eat
>nuts." (Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)
>
>I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one: On a
>child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable
you
>to fly."
>
>On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands
or
>genitals." (...was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)

Piggle :roll:
x x x x

[Kimahri]

:laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

*tears of laughter*
Oh those are funny, including Fortune's cat thing.
Man I have been waiting to laugh like that in a long time.
I'll try to find something funny on the net also.

[mark0™]

http://www.imagestation.com/picture/sraid53/ped6c9e0cd374b7fd73d639d35ecc6b6d/fc938534.jpg

~its really huge, but let it load up.

http://starterupsteve.servepics.com:60000/funny/afterghogday.jpg

~hehe gopher...

http://starterupsteve.servepics.com:60000/funny/aol_customer_support.jpg

~yep, its true

http://starterupsteve.servepics.com:60000/war/Battleship.jpg

~Canada joins the War Against Terrorism

http://starterupsteve.servepics.com:60000/war/sopranobinladen.jpg

~So does the Soprano Family.

http://starterupsteve.servepics.com:60000/funny/wankmeoff.jpg

~Whos says "Countdown" is dull?!

http://starterupsteve.servepics.com:60000/funny4/4094.jpg

Anyone know what these are and where to get em?!

If anything here is too "rude" or not allowed, just tell me or break the link.

[Rei]

ROFL mark0! Some of these pics are really amazing!
The kitties' one is also freakin' awesome! :laugh:

[kupoartist]

i've been reading a few web comics recently... and some of these are pretty funny :) ... fo your viewing pleasure i'll mention the 5 sites that I often visit to laugh:

www.engrish.com - aka. "japlish" - bad english from japan mainly, some is funny, some is just strange :) (not really a webcomic though)

www.penny-arcade.com - one of the more established webcomics... pretty sure many of you will know it.

www.nuklearpower.com - home of "8-bit theatre", the FF1 parody

http://ctrlaltdel-online.com - new, fresh and funny :)

www.pluggedcomic.com - just finshed :( ... I liked their basic but cute style, plus this made me laugh for some reason: "pee pee" ^_^ (http://www.pluggedcomic.com/archive.php?date=20030216.jpg)

uh... anyways, away from the computerness, Monty Python, the Simpsons, Austin Powers and Red Dwarf make me laugh no matter how many times I see them

yes... I have simple tastes...

[ssjtrunks13]

Funniest movie I saw was probablt Robin Hood: Men in Tights, it's the one with Dave Chapelle and Mel Brooks. Been a while since I've seen it, my favorite part is when Robin Hood finds Achu. I like how whenever anyone says his name they say "bless you". It looks like Army of Darkness is very funny, I've only seen the first 30 mins and the last five.

[IcyMourdor]

Any Kevin Smith movie.

Kevin Smith (aka Silent Bob) has some of the funniest scripts. Mall Rats, Dogma, Chasing Amy, Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back. They are all good.

[merylsilverburg]

Originally posted by the_artist

www.engrish.com - aka. "japlish" - bad english from japan mainly, some is funny, some is just strange :) (not really a webcomic though)

Interesting site, artist. At first, I was a bit annoyed when I entered because I thought this site was created to make fun of the Japanese/Chinese, but after reading the FAQ, I was pleased to know the creator has lived in Japan for a long time and that the site isn't created to make fun of them. Looking through, there are some funny mistakes, but they're pretty normal to me.

Originally posted by ssjtrunks13

Funniest movie I saw was probablt Robin Hood: Men in Tights, it's the one with Dave Chapelle and Mel Brooks. Been a while since I've seen it, my favorite part is when Robin Hood finds Achu. I like how whenever anyone says his name they say "bless you".

Omg, I thought I was the only person who saw this movie and thought it was funny. :shock: This film is great, really hilarious IMO. :laugh:

EDIT: http://starterupsteve.servepics.com:60000/funny4/4094.jpg

mark0: These cute little guys are called Domo-kun and they were really popular in the US around 2000/2001 especially in New York. Domo-kun originally from Japan, started off as the "spokesperson" for a TV ad (I think) and it quickly became a popular "icon" in Japan. I'm not sure where to get these guys, but you can try Ebay.

[Hero]

Thats my favorite parody movie. "We're men... We're men in tiii-ights... We roam around the forest looking for fights..." "Fights!" "Fights" *Pow* "We're men... We're men in tiii-ights... Call us pansies and we'll put out your lights!"

[Beretta55]

http://www.millaj.net/rem/files/0837.jpg
:laugh:
not the funniest thing i have ever seen but i like it:D

and robin hood: men in tight's is a awsome movie.

[merylsilverburg]

Omg, Beretta! :laugh: That's a cool pic! XD

One movie I thought was pretty funny also (which may be stupid to a lot of people) is "Dracula: Dead and Loving It", also by Mel Brookes. I also like the one Monty Python movie, though I haven't seen it for a long time.

[Piggle_humsy]

Originally posted by Mourdor

Any Kevin Smith movie.

Kevin Smith (aka Silent Bob) has some of the funniest scripts. Mall Rats, Dogma, Chasing Amy, Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back. They are all good.

You forgot Clerks? Did you not like it?
Love Kevin Smith! Have all films and Movie posters! yey! Snoochie boochie!

Piggle :roll:
x x x x

p.s You should Check out Emo Philips Quotes, He's so funny!

[mark0™]

Clerks is a great film, saw it a little while back. That Adult video his friend watched... lol! How Gross! And the Snowball!!! :blergh: lol.

Thanks for the info Meryl, Thanks a lot actually :happy:

[ssjtrunks13]

Originally posted by merylsilverburg

One movie I thought was pretty funny also (which may be stupid to a lot of people) is "Dracula: Dead and Loving It", also by Mel Brookes.

Well, I wouldn't be one of those people. I also thought that movie was funny, it's nice to know that there's finally a movie I've started talking about that people ahd actually seen and liked it. I've downloaded the Men in Tights song and the two Sherwood Forest Raps. I loved part of the end of the movie, I think Dave Chapelle is great in this movie.
Robin Hood: My first matter of business I would like to appoint a new Sheriff... My friend Achoo.
Crowd: A black sheriff?
Blinkin: He's black!
Achoo: Hey, it worked in Blazing Saddles!
crowd: yeah

[kupoartist]

Originally posted by merylsilverburg
Interesting site, artist. At first, I was a bit annoyed when I entered because I thought this site was created to make fun of the Japanese/Chinese, but after reading the FAQ, I was pleased to know the creator has lived in Japan for a long time and that the site isn't created to make fun of them. Looking through, there are some funny mistakes, but they're pretty normal to me.
I personally think its a shame that the creator has no submissions of incorrect Japanese in English speaking countries though... grammatical errors have a strange entertainment value, but it could be concerning that certain people could read engrish and think that the japanese are somehow "stupid" because of it... as long as people see it as just a bit of grammatical fun, its ok, and the author seems to have emphasised that... so yay for engrish!

[merylsilverburg]

Originally posted by the_artist

I personally think its a shame that the creator has no submissions of incorrect Japanese in English speaking countries though...

That's true...but most of the Japanese in English speaking countries aren't on written form. I mean, if you think about it, using romanji (using the English alphabet to write Japanese) to write Japanese isn't really funny. They're just more like spelling errors. However, using English in Japan is more "ha ha" because of the improper sentence structure and words they chose. Like that McKinley Bag....:nerv:



grammatical errors have a strange entertainment value, but it could be concerning that certain people could read engrish and think that the japanese are somehow "stupid" because of it...

Yes, that was my main concern too. I mean, the Japanese aren't stupid but because they don't feel like asking an American to proof-read their stuff, it turns out awful. Also, the Japanese have pride in their abilities and they feel that asking for help is a "shame" (believe me, I've seen it :roll: )



as long as people see it as just a bit of grammatical fun, its ok, and the author seems to have emphasised that... so yay for engrish!

I hope so too because the content on the site is pretty funny. Like that candy "Dew Dew"....omg...:heh:

[dan da man]

funniest thing ive seen is-




French rifle, never fired, dropped once. -EBAY.

[Piggle_humsy]

I had to put this in here! God I almost wet myself reading this joke!

David Beckham decides to go horse riding. Although he has had no previous experience he skillfully mounts the horse and appears in complete command of the situation as the horse gallops along at a steady pace.
Victoria admiringly watches her husband. After a short time David becomes a little too casual and he begins to lose his grip in the saddle, he panics and grabs the horse around the neck shouting for it to stop.

Victoria starts to scream and shout for someone to help her husband as David has by this time slipped completely out of the saddle and is only saved from hitting the ground by the fact that he still has a grip on the horses neck. David decides that his best chance is to leap away from the horse, but his foot has become entangled in one of the stirrups.

As the horse gallops along David's head is banging on the ground and he is slipping into unconsciousness. Victoria is now frantic and screams and screams for help!!!! ............

Hearing her screams, the Tesco's Security Guard comes out of the store and unplugs the horse.

:laugh: :laugh:

So funny!

Piggle :roll:
x x x x

[Piggle_humsy]

C'mon post your jokes in here!

A woman takes a lover during the day while her husband is at work. Her 9-year-old son comes home unexpectedly so she puts him in the closet and shuts the door.
Her husband also comes home early, so she puts her lover in the closet with the little boy.

The little boy says, "Dark in here."
The man says, "Yes, it is."
Boy: "I have a baseball."
Man: "That's nice."
Boy: "want to buy it?"
Man: "No, thanks."
Boy: "My dad's outside."
Man: "OK, how much?"
Boy: "25 dollars."
Man: "Fine".

In the next few weeks, it happens again that the boy and the lover are In the closet together.

Boy: "Dark in here."
Man: "Yes, it is."
Boy: "I have a baseball mitt."
Remembering the last time, he asks, "how much?"
Boy: "75 dollars."
Man: "Fine."

A few days later, the boy's father says to the boy, "Grab your glove. Let's go outside and toss the baseball back and forth." The boy says, "I can't. I sold them."
Father: "How much did you sell them for?"
Boy: "100 dollars."

The father says, "That's terrible to overcharge your friends like that, 100 dollars is way more than those two things cost. I'm going to take you to church and make you confess."

They go to church and the father makes him sit in the confession booth and he closes the door.

The boy says, "Dark in here."

The Priest says, "Don't start that s**t again!"

:laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

Piggle :roll:
x x x x

[Esjay]

Hmm...well, one of the funniest things I've ever seen is 8-Bit theatre, that's probably the only comic that's ever made me actually laugh out loud. I'm not easily amused though, so that's about it.

[Nelo Angelo]

Reading reviews on bad games makes me laugh.

Dumb and Dumber was the funniest movie I've ever saw.

Superman 64 reviews period. *quotes something from a review he saw*
"Interesting fact: Little did you know that Superman 64 was mentioned in the book of Revelation in the bible, the four horseman, famine, plague, destruction, and Superman 64 will one day be unleashed upon the world. Titus took up one of those horsemen early."

This song called "The Terrible Mr. Grimshaw" was the funniest one I heard.

That is all. :O