I've Been Diagnosed...

[merylsilverburg]

I've been diagnosed with a mild depression. I went to the doctor today because I wasn't feeling well, and he went off and talked to my sister, saying that I do have a slight depression. I've been getting ill for a long time (ever since freshman year) and missing a lot of school....and everytime I go to him, he always asks if I'm stressed. I am stressed out, but I brushed it off because I usually can handle it. Well, it got to that point where I am actually a very healthy person, but because of my depression, I've been getting sick more and more and feeling more stressed than normal. So, he prescribed me anti-depressant.
I always knew I was depressed, but I always kinda denied it. What he said was the way I talk (very monotone, but I didn't realize it was from depression) and the way...that there's just something not right with me. Like...he said I'm supposed to be a teenager, but there seems to be an unsettling cloud over me that it's just doesn't feel right. Like I'm never at ease; always stressed out. So, that's when he suspected. And now, I have a choice whether or not to take the anti-depressant. Now, I don't know what to do.

[Mercury Shadow]

:( I'm really sorry to hear that, Meryl. I wish there was something I could do... I think that you should take the medecine because if you don't, you'll always wonder what it would've done. You never know, it could change your life. I have a couple of friends who take anti-depressents and it really helped them. I'm sure you'll make the right choice in the end, what you think is best. Even if it isn't the right choice, you can always get off the pills. Whatever you decide to do, I wish you luck :)

[Hadoken]

If its been going on for a long time, I think you should just try taking the anti-depressant for a little while. It could help you feel better, and there's nothing wrong with taking it. A lotta people suffer from depression, and almost all of them deny it. The first step is always admitting and accepting it.. Do you know what causes your mild depression? I know you've said that you tend to be a quiet person, meryl. Perhaps it just comes from your social life? I'm not trying to be a shrink or anything here, and I dont even know if my advice is going to help you or not. But hopefully it does. I think you should just take the medicine for a few weeks, it could change your personality a little bit. Not in a bad way though, I think you'd only be more optimistic, outgoing, and talkative than before. And often, that does help you feel better about yourself.
I have a friend who used to have mild depression, her reason was that she just didnt feel good about herself and didnt socialize very much. I noticed it and tried to help her by letting her hang out with me, and she ended up being a heck of a lot more social and talkative. I'm not sure what I did, but her confidence just seemed to take a giant boost.
The main thing with depression is that you have to find whats causing it, and figure out how to make things better. Different people have different reasons. If you find out what yours is, we're always here and can try to help you with it. :)

[merylsilverburg]

Originally posted by Hadoken
The main thing with depression is that you have to find whats causing it, and figure out how to make things better. Different people have different reasons. If you find out what yours is, we're always here and can try to help you with it. :)

Thank you Merc and Had. :weep: I know what's causing my depression....but my situation is not something that can be helped because it deals with my family and school and just...me...since I was always different from everyone, I was always tormented by many things. Plus, I was also traumatized by a situation that happened during 6th grade and I'm not fully recovered because...it was just so sad.

[Beretta55]

whoa....i really dont know what to say im not the best speaker in the world:P but you should take the pill's for awhile cause there really would be no need just being depressed all the time. so they might actully help. if they dont i guess you kick those thing's:laugh: but i hope you get better and if you ever need to talk im here and so is the rest of ps2fantasy;)

[Pu the Owl]

This may seem banal, and that's why I won't repeat anybody's wise words and I won't post the usual suggestions that you could receive in this case, but I probably have more than an idea of your state (even if this changes according to the person) at this moment and I'm sorry to hear you're not feeling fine.

You have all my sincere understanding, and I'm ready to listen if you want to talk :)

[Hadoken]

Originally posted by merylsilverburg

my situation is not something that can be helped because it deals with my family and school and just...me...since I was always different from everyone, I was always tormented by many things. Plus, I was also traumatized by a situation that happened during 6th grade and I'm not fully recovered

I honestly dont believe that it cant be helped. If you knew it couldnt be helped in the first place, then why do you think you came here to tell us about it? Your seeking help, meryl. And your being pessimistic about the situtation. Think and list some optimistic ideas about the situation right now. think that you WILL feel better, and what's happened in the past is in the past, its not good to dwell on it. And as for family problems, everyone has them, but the best thing to do is talk to them i guess. I know it sounds corny, but when it becomes serious, that may be the only thing you can do. As for school, there can be many reasons, getting tormented is usually the main one. There's always someone who can help you though, all you have to do is work up the courage to talk. I know this might sound rude, but would you mind telling us more? it's a step towards being helped. I'm sure there are other people here who can relate in some sort of way to what has happened to you in the past. We're all here to help each other.
Another thing is to just do things that cheer you up. Just dont do anything that puts you in harm. I used to get in fights all the time because there were people who pissed me off. I won most of them, but err.. thats probably not the approach you should take, your probably not the fighting type, and violence probably wouldnt be the answer for you. I just drive whenever i get pissed off now, it makes me feel better, just cruising for hours and listening to music. It gives me time to think. but enough about MY problems. lol
There's always help out there, wether its family, friends, or even yourself. You need to be optimistic. Don't ever say no one can help you.:nono: (I dont wanna hear you saying that again btw)
Uhh... I dont know if i'm helping or making things worse, so tell me if i am or not. I just wanna help, ok? Feel better, meryl!
And like frostman and fortun says, we're here to help! if you want it or not is up to you. I hope you do.

[merylsilverburg]

Originally posted by Hadoken

think that you WILL feel better, and what's happened in the past is in the past, its not good to dwell on it. And as for family problems, everyone has them, but the best thing to do is talk to them i guess. I know it sounds corny, but when it becomes serious, that may be the only thing you can do. As for school, there can be many reasons, getting tormented is usually the main one. There's always someone who can help you though, all you have to do is work up the courage to talk. I know this might sound rude, but would you mind telling us more? it's a step towards being helped. I'm sure there are other people here who can relate in some sort of way to what has happened to you in the past. We're all here to help each other.

My goodness, what you said is exactly what my sister always tell me. :P
Ah, what happened in the past is still actually occuring now...and my family problems are.....don't mean to be rude, but it's so shitty and complicated that I think it may be hard for many to understand. And not only that, but it would take longer than just a post to explain it all because it's that bad. :( And, I'm afraid to share my family situation because I feel ashamed somehow.
School...being tormented is common...for some strange reason, I just can't get adjusted to this school ever since I moved to this town. And, the teachers just...flat out dislike me because I miss so many days.

[Pu the Owl]

Listen, I perfectly know that sharing your problems in a Forum is not the best thing to do, but you know among all the people that come here, there are some who you know a little better and they will be happy to listen to you and help you with some words, if they can. I don't think it's fair to ask you to post here all the situations that are making you feeling bad. I can't recommend you to talk here, because it's like talking to unknown people as well, and it's obvious this could make you feel ashamed.
It's up to you to talk or not, but the thing I can say is: just talk to the ones you think can understand or to the ones you have more "familiarity" (because you talked to them other or because you know they're kinda reliable). Just don't worry for the others. I think those people (as I know you have some "friends" here) could help you more than all the others that could read your posts here.

[merylsilverburg]

Originally posted by Fortune

Listen, I perfectly know that sharing your problems in a Forum is not the best thing to do, but you know among all the people that come here, there are some who you know a little better and they will be happy to listen to you and help you with some words, if they can. I don't think it's fair to ask you to post here all the situations that are making you feeling bad. I can't recommend you to talk here, because it's like talking to unknown people as well, and it's obvious this could make you feel ashamed.
It's up to you to talk or not, but the thing I can say is: just talk to the ones you think can understand or to the ones you have more "familiarity" (because you talked to them other or because you know they're kinda reliable). Just don't worry for the others. I think those people (as I know you have some "friends" here) could help you more than all the others that could read your posts here.

Yes, that's why I don't really want to share the problems. I do have a few people I'm really close to on here and I've only told my situation to one of them. I'm sure that many of you could understand, but then I still feel afraid.
Ah, I feel so pathetic sharing my problems with you guys, when I usually want to help people more. :( So sorry.....I just don't know what I should do about the medicine. I suppose I'll take it, but I'm just afraid that it might make me lose my sense of duty...because my depression is actually helping me realize what I must do in my life.
I guess we can call this case close. Thanks again for all your help guys. :happy:

[Pu the Owl]

Originally posted by merylsilverburg

Yes, that's why I don't really want to share the problems. I do have two people I'm really close to on here and I've only told my situation to one of them. I'm sure that many of you could understand, but then I do still feel afraid.
Ah, I feel so pathetic sharing my problems with you guys, when I usually want to help people more. :( So sorry.....I just don't know what I should do about the medicine. I suppose I'll take it, but I'm just afraid that it might make me lose my sense of duty...because my depression is actually helping me realize what I must do in my life.

Yes, it's good idea to talk only to them more in detail. As for the others, you can talk to them, but telling them everything is not necessary. Anyway, you know my messenger handle, if you need some other boring and unuseful word ;)

As for the meds, I don't think they can erase your sense of duty. When in general you're not feeling well, that's not real sense of duty and you shouldn't say it helps you to realize what you must do. I believe that's only what illness told you to do, and it's not good for you to follow a partial idea. You should decide and realize when you feel better, at 100% of your energies and meds won't tell you what to do, but they'll help you to gain the necessary energy to decide.

[Hadoken]

well whatever you do, make sure you pass through school so you can get a good future.
the medicine shouldnt make you lose your sense of duty, perhaps it'll make you feel more confident in getting those goals accomplished. :)

[ssjtrunks13]

Meryl, I have suffered from mild depression in the past and son't talkmuch either. So, as people have said before take the pills because they might help you and if not you can just stop taking them and let the person who prescribed them when you feel they haven't been doing anything. I used to take anti-depressant pills, but they didn't really do anything for me. Also, know there are people like me out on these forums who you could probably talk to. Peace!

[Ruby Moon]

Mild depression at your age is not that serious meryl, so don't be too much worried. Especially if you don't feel comfortable at school or if you have some troubles at home, it's kinda natural to be slightly depressed. If you were older, that would be completely different. Don't take medicines as the ultimate source to get better though.

[Suzuki_Fanboy]

Well, I'm sorry to hear that meryl....but my opinion on taking the pills or not taking them would have to be...that it's your choice. I wouldn't take them if it was me, but if you think it will help you, then you should. I think that you should try to not take them for a while, and if it becomes to much for you, go to the pills. I would just say don't go to the pills first.

And thus concludes Suzuki_Fanboy's meaningless opinion. You should listen to people other than me, they'd probably know better.

[007_JamesBond]

just another one of lifes little hooks, that is it. It is mearly what your mind thinks of it, I am sorry to hear it and I am sure that you will get past it with ease. You also know that anytime we can talk if you want, K

[merylsilverburg]

Originally posted by Ruby Moon

Mild depression at your age is not that serious meryl, so don't be too much worried. Especially if you don't feel comfortable at school or if you have some troubles at home, it's kinda natural to be slightly depressed. If you were older, that would be completely different. Don't take medicines as the ultimate source to get better though.

That's true, but it's all the stuff that happened to me in the past, when I was a kid....I actually been depressed ever since I was in 6th grade...which became worse when I was in Sophmore year...because of the situation I was in. I've only gotten a little better now, but still have it. I know what you mean though about the medicine...but I guess I should just give it a try anyway...just to see.

Thanks for all the help and support, guys. This means a lot to me. :weep:

[ssjtrunks13]

I never really got depressed until somewhere in the middle of 7th and 8th grade.

[MakgSnake]

Originally posted by merylsilverburg

I've been diagnosed with a mild depression. I went to the doctor today because I wasn't feeling well, and he went off and talked to my sister, saying that I do have a slight depression. I've been getting ill for a long time (ever since freshman year) and missing a lot of school....and everytime I go to him, he always asks if I'm stressed. I am stressed out, but I brushed it off because I usually can handle it. Well, it got to that point where I am actually a very healthy person, but because of my depression, I've been getting sick more and more and feeling more stressed than normal. So, he prescribed me anti-depressant.
I always knew I was depressed, but I always kinda denied it. What he said was the way I talk (very monotone, but I didn't realize it was from depression) and the way...that there's just something not right with me. Like...he said I'm supposed to be a teenager, but there seems to be an unsettling cloud over me that it's just doesn't feel right. Like I'm never at ease; always stressed out. So, that's when he suspected. And now, I have a choice whether or not to take the anti-depressant. Now, I don't know what to do.
I know I wouldn't be a great help or even any help at all. But I think its because of how you are. CHANGE yourself. You are sooooo freaking negative about yourself. I mean this is too much. You are negative, and negativity brings depression to one self. You dont need no medicine or any tablets like that. You are the cure. In school you "THINK" if you say something would be said against you in a weird manner. You have to change yourself. (Now I get a feeling that you'll say the first thing is "I cant change myself" and stuff like that) Thats the first step of Negativity. Its something not nice. Like I said, I may not be helping you at all here. But I am saying all this just cause I care........simple. (Even if it doesn't sound like it). Its your fault.

[Frozen]

I'm not sure if I could blame you for what it's happening to you, but I do believe that there is something you need to change in yourself, and I agree on that with Makg, being negative does not help at all, nor kicking against your own self. Although I don't dare to say it's your fault, since I'm sure external factors have interfered, and probably out of your control. but as you have said, it is something from the past, and to dwell on the past is to lose your life in it.

And I can say that I think pretty much the same as Hadoken, and I would tell you basically all the same what he did.

you know that I am always there to lend a hand, and always will. Please do not forget that, even if I'm not that great as a person, I am your loyal friend.


*hugs*

[merylsilverburg]

Originally posted by MakgSnake

I know I wouldn't be a great help or even any help at all. But I think its because of how you are. CHANGE yourself. You are sooooo freaking negative about yourself. I mean this is too much. You are negative, and negativity brings depression to one self. You dont need no medicine or any tablets like that. You are the cure. In school you "THINK" if you say something would be said against you in a weird manner. You have to change yourself. (Now I get a feeling that you'll say the first thing is "I cant change myself" and stuff like that) Thats the first step of Negativity. Its something not nice. Like I said, I may not be helping you at all here. But I am saying all this just cause I care........simple. (Even if it doesn't sound like it). Its your fault.

Well Makg, you may think it's all me and my fault, but I don't think so. And since you don't know me, I can't blame you for saying that. I've never done anything all my life to be the way I am....all I ever been was just "different" from everyone. While everyone was loud and outgoing, I was quiet and shy. Whatever I did to "fit in" I just got strange looks from everyone....even when I did try to act "stupid and ditzy" just how every other girl in my class. So, I gave up....I was always "too mature" and "too motherly" to join in any conversations or anything.
Also, it was my family situation that had an effect on me....I never did anything wrong. Everyone just put pressure on me to "be the best" and "do well in school" and I took it as my duty in life. While I was still young, you know what my mom said to me everyday before I went to school? She said, "Don't pay attention to any of your friends, even if they're talking about fun stuff. Just pay attention to the teacher and do your best to be the best. The teacher is more important because homework is more important so try not to have too much fun". And since I was a kid, I had to listen to her...so that became embedded in my mind....and so I kinda "drifted" away from everyone....because I listened to my mother's words and I was shy and I was not accepted.
So, I never really was a happy kid...and the depression hit during 6th grade because I was...."isolated" from my family. Things went wrong, I was ignored at home, at school I was ignored by my peers, I was made fun of, the teachers thought me as "troublesome" and sent me to my counselor...just because I tried to fit in and be like everyone else.
So, in the end...I don't see how this can be my fault. What did I do wrong? :(
Mena: Did you try to call? I'm sorry, I wasn't at home...I was at...the restaurant....

[Rei]

Yes meryl, depression for a teenager is not that serious and uncommon, just don't take this fact in a bad way. I agree that maybe your negativity is a reason that has made things worse for you. I'm not blaming you, just saying you shouldn't be so negative. Just try to think more positive regarding some matters, as for example school. And talk more to the people you consider friends, don't keep everything for yourself, this is not good either.

[merylsilverburg]

Yes, that's true Rei...I already agreed with Ruby about this...however, I am not your normal, typical teenager. So, this depression I'm going through is not just any normal problems....
Ah, I only posted about my depression because I wanted to hear from you guys who have it or used to have it whether or not the pills are worth it or not.
But, thanks again for all the support. :)

[Pu the Owl]

That negativity brings depression is true, I have to agree on that, but often negativity is increased by external causes. Makg, I don't think you should say it's meryl's fault, also because as she said you don't know her enough to say anything like that.

[kupoartist]

negativity is a multiplying effect, or a downward spiral... theres not a lot you can do about that. I'd love to give great advice, but they only way I've coped with any personal problems is to distract myself with somthing else.. work or games etc. Thats probably not the best path to take, but just remember that every situation has a positive way out if you're prepared to work for it. Good luck Meryl ;)

[dan da man]

:( i feel for you meryl i suffered a bit aswell going to the doctors soon to find out.

[ssjtrunks13]

I distract myself from what people at school thought of me by playing video games. That didn't work at school, but at home it made me kinda forget what people have said to me. I am also very shy at school and at social gathrings so I keep a lot stuff inside. I never really had any friends until 9th grade when I met this girl at school in a few of my classes, I liked her a lot. My friend had told me to go talk to her when he found out I had a crush.

What I'm trying to say is I never had any real friends until High School. I still don't talk much, but I have a lot more friends than I ever thought I would and I also have a girlfriend now. So, keep your chin up and one day you'll find someone out there who'll be your friend.

[Faile]

Depression sadly is a rising trend amongst teenagers. i'm 19 now and have suffered with depression for about the last six years. I never really looked for medical help because i personally do not believe in medication such as seroxat, prozac etc.
probably due to my strange fear of help i was led towards letting it out through other means which i will not go into here because its not always right to be so open.

but yes, i suffered a lot, but time eventually sorts it out or erodes you. it depends on how your situations are and your outlets, but its probably a good idea to seek some sort of help as you have. i hope you feel better with time and everything smooths over.

[Gadzoox]

*quietly hugs* :(

[ssjtrunks13]

So do I. I know some of my problems have gone away, yours will too.

[dan da man]

yes, but at the moment i cant amagine mine going away.

[merylsilverburg]

Thank you again to everyone who posted here or PMed me. *group hugs* It was nice to have your support and kind words. I've decided not to take the medication because I don't want to end up being dependent on them once I run out or something. So, I'm just going to try to be a little more positive about my current situation even though it will be hard. Thanks again everyone. :weep:

[ssjtrunks13]

No problem, anytime!

Thanks for the hug.(I really needed one)

[BlackThornn]

I didn't see this earlier.. :( I'm sorry for you, Meryl. It sucks being depressed, I know.

Do you know if it's bipolar or unipolar..?

I was diagnosed with unipolar depression when I was in high school, after being prescribed ritalin (generic: methylphenidate) to alleviate Attention Deficit Disorder (which I have). Unfortunately one side effect they forgot to mention was it messes with your brain chemistry, and sends you into some serious depression.. I got out of it, though (..though I've never really been 'right' since.) with a mix of meds and a steady regimen of friends and video games. Aah, the glory of escapism.


My reccommendation, don't take it too seriously.. stick with your friends, and let the stress out somehow. I know it might not be your style but just some sort of pseudo-violent means of letting it out of your body and head would probably help a LOT. (a punching bag worked for me.. but playing Grand Theft Auto and dragging simulated people outta thier cars might help just as much for you! ^_^) As for the pills... you might want to take them, stuff like prozac isn't really addictive.. And like most things like depression, with time you will 'grow out of it'. :)

(after actually reading the thread.... one more thing. This is in NO WAY your fault. Your environs have adverse effects on you, and stress builds up inside. Contrary to what SOME people believe, it's not something you can just 'deal with' safely.)

[Ninja]

look meryl, i know i'm always kidding around and stuff but what im about to tell you is not a joke, my best friend was depresed, he was never lightened, he was tired, always in his room playing games, never wanting to go out and chill. meryl my advice to you is go out chill with your friends,(if you dont have any, go out with your sister) have fun go to the movies, dont just stay at home tired, playing games and junk like that, look, im poor and even i can find things can make me feel good, find something your good at, share it with other people, well its 11:30 so i must b going, meanwhile

[MakgSnake]

Originally posted by Fortune
Makg, I don't think you should say it's meryl's fault, also because as she said you don't know her enough to say anything like that.
Yeah, I dont know her at all.....but as far as Ive seen her. She is nothing but negative about herself. Thats all what I was saying. And in my opinion that plays a big part over here. She keeps saying she is different and not like other kids around, HEY every single person on this planet is different, and not like the other kid.......but have we all got depressions?

Forget I said anything............live your life to the fullest.....thats all.

[merylsilverburg]

Originally posted by MakgSnake

She keeps saying she is different and not like other kids around, HEY every single person on this planet is different, and not like the other kid.......but have we all got depressions?


Uh....that may be true for you....but in the generation I live in now....like....the teenage generation (ahem, where everyone is the same)...if you act too mature or too serious or sees things differently you are shunned from everyone your age. I just don't see things the same way as other teens my age do. While I think one thing is stupid, they think it's fun and hilarious. While I think that doing this is inappropriate, they think it's the best thing in the world. What the hell am I supposed to do in order to fit in then, huh? Am I supposed to follow them and do all those stupid things when I don't think it's right? And even if I do (like I had already mentioned in my earlier post) they all look at me funny with expressions like "What the hell are you doing?" I told you that I tried it in the past and it didn't work. I got shunned even more for trying to be someone I wasn't. So you tell me, Makg, what am I supposed to do.

[MakgSnake]

You just have to let things slip.......I've lived in a society where I hate things people love........infact all my life I have lived in a HUGE FAMILY, where they have thought that I am the weirdest person around. My closest people think I have the worst choice, my parents never and I mean EVER supported me in things I liked. My sisters hate what I listen to, or what I like to watch and how basically I live my life.............

There was a time when where I entered a room, people use to look at me and say "What the f*ck are you doing here".....

What did I do.....I just let it go, and now look...I am happy with everything around.......

The world is not against you Diana, you are! Not saying that you change ureself for the world completely, but YOU ARE going to live here, THERE IS only ONE planet we can live on right now. THESE PEOPLE will be there for the rest of you life. You have to cope with things............ you have to co-operate. I dont change myself, but I do work on things which the society asks me to do. I am not putting myself down like that.

The way you say it, seems like you WANT to go against the people around you, because of the hatred youve had from them. You feel like never agreeing with anything with them.

I KNOW that I am too mature (if not at the forums), at work and with my fellow peeps, and too serious most of the time. YES I AM, and I have been told that my views are different from others. So basically I am just like you, right? AND NO I am not saying all this to prove a point but BECAUSE I am like that.

My friends tell me that I stay too serious all the time, and that I see things differently, but the way I am.......they RESPECT IT and appreciate it. How is that............how can that be possible......if you and I are the same?

You dont have to do anything that you think isn't right Diana. But atleast try to compromise a few things.........that wouldn't hurt your life! ...........Trust me, LIFE IS too short to worry around. But then again, there is whole life for you to enjoy.........if you stay like the way you are........you are going nowhere. You have to change...........

I am not saying try to be someone you are not.........THAT doesn't work for anyone in this world. But start with thinking positive....I seriously dont remember how many times I have told you to be positive about things around. Seems like you dont wanna listen, just like you dont wanna agree with things around the TEENAGE people. Just like that...................

Person 1: Diana, can you wear blue tomorrow?
Diana : No, I dont want to. I am happy with what comes in my mind tomorrow.
Person 1: Fine!

Its not gonna lead you anywhere..........TRUST ME (Although I know you will not) but that doesn't matter.

I am not gonna tell you ever again to be positive. Ive said it before and I'll say it again......listen to people. THEY are trying to help you. You would say "Oh thank you for helping" but would not work on it.

Change is good. and Being positive is better. But then....thats the last time your hearing it from me.

[Pu the Owl]

These are interesting suggestions Makg, but you know, not everyone in this world is able to say to his inner self "I want to change, I have to start being positive". That's not how it works for some people. You can tell them there's nothing wrong with anything, that after all their life is good, but they won't get it. Not because they're stupid, but because some personal issues taught them it's false. They need help to start being positive as you say, but if anybody around them keep on repeating "You're weird, I don't understand you" or if they keep on ignoring them, how can they force themselves to change? Not anybody's strong enough for these things, you know. That's being different in this case. It means you're unable to face everything by yourself and say "I don't care about the others, I want to decide for myself" or "I want to be happy also if I feel I'm not accepted".
Everyone knows being positive is better, as anyone knows smoking is bad, but does this considerations change a thing? Nope, it's not that knowing something automatically means you'll be able to act in a certain way. And if you add that in some cases depression is a clinical status, you'll get that you can't heal yourself simply deciding you have to do it. It could be that meryl one day will find herself changed and she'll start to accept anything regarding her life, but what if this doesn't work? What idf she tries, failing? She'll find herself in the same situation. That's why you can't simply say "It's your fault, because you're negative". Negativity can't be erased like you said. She has to start being less worried about anything, I agree on that, but receiving the help of other people, is really important. I think that was what meryl was looking for here. And talking about it, feeling there's somebody around supporting you in difficulties, ready to give an helpful hand when needed is somehow starting being positive IMO.

[MakgSnake]

But like you said, they dont agree on things, whats the use of everybody here giving her a helping hand, if that person isn't going to listen.

And its not like I am telling her to change herself RIGHT NOW, this very second. Ofcource its gonna take some time. But if she doesn't start now, when will she?

but you know, not everyone in this world is able to say to his inner self "I want to change, I have to start being positive". That's not how it works for some people. You can tell them there's nothing wrong with anything, that after all their life is good, but they won't get it. Not because they're stupid, but because some personal issues taught them it's false

That is right from your point of view. Ive got different beliefs Fortune. I believe everybody on this planet is capable of doing anything. And I mean anything........... we are all equal......in each and every way. (Not counting those are physically and mentally challenged, may god be with them). But we know Meryl isn't.

Anyperson can do anything...........ONLY IF ONE puts an effort to it, and that effort wont be come in TILL the whole "BEING NEGATIVE" is set aside for good.

She is Negative to an EXTREME....(Thats what I think).
Neways............whatever.

[Pu the Owl]

Well, you have this point of view because you've never experienced anything like that, maybe, or because your education taught you to think like that.

Originally posted by MakgSnake
HEY every single person on this planet is different
Originally posted by MakgSnake
we are all equal......in each and every way.

Look, you said it yourself above, that anybody's different, and now you're saying that anybody's equal? This seems the perfect opposite of what you said before, no? To the reader, it seems you're not sure of your own personal opinions... Anyway no, to me efforts are not enough in some cases to be able to do anything. Variety implies that everybody could be (with the famous efforts you mentioned) able to do something, not that anybody's able to do anything, just like the others. And if you add to this environment, education, personality, attitudes, and several other factors you'll see that individuals react in a different way because they're different. There's not a general law that works for all individuals. This has nothing to do with religion or this kind of things. You're limiting the discussion and the perspectives, if you involve these matters. You're speaking in general, not in particular. Again, this is because probably you know nothing or not enough about what depression is (that's what we're talking about, after all).

Probably, you'll never understand what I want to say. Your life gave you different opinions and experiences and mine are probably closer than yours to Meryl's ones. Simple, but this cut off any possibility of complete mutual understanding, at least regarding these matters.

[Faile]

makg, what you are saying is naive and insulting.

if you had have experienced any sort of depression you'd know that whatever you do to change, it will always slip in. its chemical, not a choice.

you believe that we are all capable of doing whatever we want to. but thats not true. i want to grow wings and fly away but i cannot, i want to live my life without regret but i cannot, i want the scars i have to go away but they will not.


we don't always have choices

[merylsilverburg]

This is becoming bad.....I didn't mean for this thread to get out hand like this....:(

And Makg...what you said that I'm "Negative to an extreme"...I guess just from what our conversations have been, you would think that...and it's true, I'm not going to lie. I am pretty damn negative about myself, but I didn't choose to be negative. The torment of people around me, teasing me for the way I look (since I'm Asian and Asians weren't accepted in the past when I was a kid), backstabbing me, spreading rumors about me....it made me feel that there was something ultimately wrong with me, otherwise why would all these things happen to me so much? And with the "pressure of being perfect", if I did one thing wrong, I was yelled at....kids make mistakes, but my parents expected me to already know all the things an adult does. So, that pressured me into "maturing too fast" and that's why I'm so different from everyone and more "restricted". You'd probably still won't understand after this, but I guess I can't make you understand.

[ssjtrunks13]

Meryl, I have gone through almost the same kind of thing. The only difference is I'm white, but besides that I feel I kinda know where you're coming from. I have tried to be somebody other than myself and people hated me more for it. SOme people have told me they think I'm a jerk sometimes, but I don't get how because if I tell someone I won't move over so they can sit with their friends I'm not trying to be a jerk I just decided to sit there just to sit there not because I didn't want them to be with their friends. ANyways, if you need to talk I'd be happy to lend you a hand if I am able to.

[merylsilverburg]

Originally posted by ssjtrunks13

Meryl, I have gone through almost the same kind of thing. The only difference is I'm white, but besides that I feel I kinda know where you're coming from. I have tried to be somebody other than myself and people hated me more for it. SOme people have told me they think I'm a jerk sometimes, but I don't get how because if I tell someone I won't move over so they can sit with their friends I'm not trying to be a jerk I just decided to sit there just to sit there not because I didn't want them to be with their friends. ANyways, if you need to talk I'd be happy to lend you a hand if I am able to.

Well, ssjtrunks from the example you gave me, the decision you made not to move over so that the person can sit with their friend, doesn't make you a jerk. The person who calls you a jerk is, in fact, the one who is.
But, yes, by being "someone else" many people end up hating you for it....because they know that isn't your true self and yet, they don't try to accept the real part. But, that's how society works....
And thank you too. :)

[ssjtrunks13]

originally posted by merylsilverburg
Well, ssjtrunks from the example you gave me, the decision you made not to move over so that the person can sit with their friend, doesn't make you a jerk. The person who calls you a jerk is, in fact, the one who is.
That's exactly how I feel. So, I didn't really let that get me down. I try to help whenever I can because I'm that kinda guy!

[Pu the Owl]

Originally posted by merylsilverburg

This is becoming bad.....I didn't mean for this thread to get out hand like this....:(


Nothing has gone out of hand. Things posted here are made for being discussed. And in a discussion not anybody can agree on the same points. That was a simple discussion, nothing less and nothing more. So don't start being worried for this too, ok? :laugh:

[MakgSnake]

Originally posted by Faile



you believe that we are all capable of doing whatever we want to. but thats not true. i want to grow wings and fly away but i cannot
Atleast be real about things Faile......
I may sound insulting, but thats not what I am trying to be, I am just not suger coted here.

And FORTUNE. Yes.......I am right about us being different and being equal at the same time.

DIFFERENT in a way, that we all are unique in all different ways, no body is alike and Nobody similar to one another.

As for being EQUAL, I meant as in being superior and inferior to each other. NOT what you thought I said. There is no one superior to you, and nobody under you. We all are equal.

And Meryl, see you know that all the conversation Ive had with you, you have been negative all the way, so what am I suppose to think and say. I said, AS FAR AS I KNOW YOU.........

Hate me.........for all the above. I was just trying to be real (not saying you people arn't).

[Deathwatchz]

meryl, im just trying to offer some help from a person who has experienced it, yet to the extreme. I, for abou 2 years, was on the verge of suicide. I'm not the most stable of people, and i didnt fit in until high school. I can tell you, it may seem like things are very bad, yet you have to realize, life isnt going o be very friendly. I had to realize that it isnt going to be a situation where you have to get acceptance from others, you just have to ry to find acceptance from yourself. i know its hard when everyone around you cant understand you, but I KNOW you ccan do it. you just have to try to think about what things you like, and try to see what people around you like. if the people you talk to dont agree with it, dont mention it round them. im not saying that you have to change who you are, just that you have to think about what people will hold against you. if you can find some people who fit into the same group as you, thats perfec, even if the rest of the school will not talk to you. i, personally, have gotten so socible with people, that te only ones at my school who dont like me are the ones who TRY not to like me. you just have to try to be yourself. just because you are more mature than everyone around you, doesnt mean its a bad thing. you can think of it as you have a different view of life. from what ive seen, you arent a very negative person. ive seen a LOT worse, myself included. you have to hold your head up. and as for the pills, you can take them if you want to, but its YOUR choice. you shouldnt ask anyne else how YOU feel, because you are the only one who truly understands your problems. other people have had to deal with the same thing as you, but they dont know how it made you feel. if you think that your attitude towards life is verging on the self-mutilation, then i suggest you take the pills before you end up like me. ive got scars that are going to last me the rest of my life. i hold those as something that prove to me that things can always be worse than what im dealing with now. I'm planning on being a psychiatrist, and i think that you arent as deep in as you think. you may not be telling everything to us, but i think that you are a very nice person who just needs to find some more mature people to talk to. if you cant find anyone like that at school, then maybe you should try to find an older crowd to talk to. most of my friends are 20+, and im only 17, still in high school. just because your teachers and schoolmates hold stuff against you, it doesnt mean you should hold it against yourself. the majority of people who will tease you are not wondering what is wrong with you, they are jealous of the fact that you have that mature look at things. well, if you think that you need any help, im one of the people on your growing list of help. it seems to me that you are one of the people who i could actually consider a friend, rather than an aquaintance. well, i think ive taken up as much of your time as i should, so ill let you go. just remember, theresalways gonna be SOMEONE out there who you can talk to, you just have to find them :):):):)

P.S. sorry about being so deep. i have that habit when im concerned about someone. :( (oh yeah, sorry about the misspelling, i was typing too fast)

[merylsilverburg]

I'm sorry you had to go through a lot of hell yourself. :( Even down to the point where you had to self-mutilate too...I'm very sorry....
I know what you're saying...really, I understand completely what you're saying...I actually do try to look for people with the same interests as me...ever since I moved to this town. But, the residents living here are are so narrow-minded (I'm serious, I live in a small, small town) that everyone basically follows everyone around here...so basically, you're getting no individuality whatsoever. :P

Originally posted by Deathwatchz
you just have to ry to find acceptance from yourself. i know its hard when everyone around you cant understand you, but I KNOW you ccan do it. you just have to try to think about what things you like, and try to see what people around you like. if the people you talk to dont agree with it, dont mention it round them. im not saying that you have to change who you are, just that you have to think about what people will hold against you.

I'm the one who accepts myself (yes I do, though it may not seem like it) because I am extremely different from everyone and that makes me an individual...which is a lot better than being the same like everyone else is in my school. I'm actually happy that I am different from everyone, but the only thing that's getting me down is the part where it's so hard to be accepted because I am actually different. That's the part that's confusing me...I always thought being "different" was a good thing. And what you said: I've tried that too. I tried to talk about things that other people like which also holds my interest a bit. Like for example, the bashing of Britney Spears...I was working with a group and they were bashing her down and since I hate that chick to death too, I gathered my courage and joined in. But...again...it didn't work....once I said something, they all looked at me and just blinked and quieted down and didn't say anything anymore and did their part of the work. I felt so....stupid. Like...I felt like I completely ruined their conversation all because I had to open my big mouth.

I'm planning on being a psychiatrist, and i think that you arent as deep in as you think.

Not meaning to sound rude, but how can you conclude that without knowing me at all? I said a few things here and there and it's not even the whole story and everyone just naturally jumps to a conclusion like this. I'm not blaming anyone for saying this because no one here knows me, but since that's the reason, I don't think it's right for someone to just blindly make a statement like that without knowing me at all. You can't possibly know whether or not I'm in it "deep" if you don't know the whole story, right? To be a psychiatrist would mean that you would have to listen to the whole story of your patient before you try to help them or try to diagnose them with a certain disease or disorder.

who just needs to find some more mature people to talk to. if you cant find anyone like that at school, then maybe you should try to find an older crowd to talk to. most of my friends are 20+, and im only 17, still in high school.

Yes! I do want to find older people to talk to because I relate more with them than the ones at my age. But....omg, you or no one would believe this...but the older people in my town....are still a bunch of idiots. :disturb: It also depends on the residents of the place one is living in....if one lives in small-ass town (very much like mine) the people there would still be very narrow-minded and just same, no matter how old they are. It takes a larger town or city to have more individuals...people who have different views in life and beliefs because they experienced more than a small-town person. For example: I live in a campus town.....20 year olds...one wouldn't expect them to be mature...after all, they've only just entered college...but even the 30 year olds still try to act young and annoying. Like, they're trying to "fit in" with the "young generation". Can you believe it? And believe me, I'm not just saying this. I live in a town where 45 year old mothers still dress like their teenage daughters because it's "cool". :sarcasm: Most older people should be wiser, but the ones I've saw and studied secretly are actually just morons.
Not saying that every single 30+ year old in the world are morons...but in my town, it's particularly true.
Look, I know it seems like I'm asking for help and everyone's helping me, but I'm just acting like an ungrateful b*tch and turning everyone's help and suggestions down. But, I honestly do appreciate your help, but I just want to explain and let you guys to know the reasons why. It's not like I'm not going to take some advice: I'm going to try to be more positive and not let my "individuality" get me down....I'm not going to take the pills because I just want to see if I can get out of this on my own, I will try to be more sociable though I doubt it's going to work since I've tried it about a million times, and I'm just going to try to enjoy my life even though things are bad in my family situation. But, I'd just like to say thank you all again....I really appreciate everything. :)

[Faile]

oh i'm very much real makg. everyday i wake up and wish to fly out of the life i am in. but i cannot, i am shackled to it, from here until the day i die. i'm quite resolved to having to live with being myself, so its not all bad, but it doesn't mean i always enjoy being who i am.

i'm not being sugar coated.

but really, who are you to tell me what i should and should not feel ?

its an ill-informed position if nothing else, and mildly insulting, yet i can understand your views if nothing else.

[Deathwatchz]

I wasnt trying to say anything about you not being in as deep as you think. i was just saying what i thought from what ive seen. i know my opinion isnt based off of too much info, yet i try to offer a motivational suggestion once in a while. as for not fitting in, i live in a very large city, yet i dont fit in at all here. out of my nieghborhood of thousands, i have two people who get my attitude towards stuff. i'm a gothic type of person, and i dont fit in at all at school. people will hold my opinions and beliefs against me. I seem to fit in because i hold my beliefs to myself most of the time. i think that a lot of people dont really like me, but they still talk to me, cause im just being a sociable person. if someone will not talk to me or accept me for being different, i will not go out of my way to try to talk to them either. with the anti-britney group and stuff like that, people will have their own group, and it may seem that you can fit in, but you have to stay on the edge of the group for a while and see what kind of people they are, or they will look at you like your nuts. well, if you wanna practice on your sociability, you always have us here to talk to. (sorry if some of this sounded like im bein a prick, but im rushing. im not thinking straight, cuz im running on 3 hrs. of sleep. sorry again)