happy_doughnut
Jul 19th, 2002, 09:48 PM
Heh heh. I thought this was quite funny so I thought I'd share it with you guys :) . Read on :
SOCIALISM:
You have 2 cows and you give one to your neighbour.
COMMUNISM:
You have 2 cows, the Government takes both and gives
you some milk.
FASCISM:
You have 2 cows, the Government takes both and sells
you some milk.
NAZISM:
You have 2 cows, the Government takes both and
shoots you ! ( <- XD !! )
BUREAUCRATISM:
You have 2 cows, the Government takes both, shoots
one, milks the other and
throws the milk away...
TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM:
You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.
You sell them and retire on the income.
ENRON VENTURE CAPITALISM:
You have two cows.
You sell three of them to your publicly listed
company, using letters of
credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank,
then execute a debt/equity
swap with an associated general offer so that you
get all four cows back,
with a tax exemption for five cows. The milk rights
of the six cows are
transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island
company secretly owned by
the majority shareholder who sells, the rights to
all seven cows back to
your listed company.The annual report says the
company owns eight cows, with
an option on one more. Sell one cow to buy a new
president of the United
States, leaving you with nine cows. No balance sheet
provided with the
release. The public buys your bull.
AN AMERICAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other
to produce the milk of
four cows. You are surprised when the cow drops
dead.
A FRENCH CORPORATION:
You have two cows.
You go on strike because you want three cows.
A JAPANESE CORPORATION:
You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of
an ordinary cow and
produce twenty times the milk. You then create
clever cow cartoon images
called Cowkimon and market them World-Wide.
A GERMAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows.
You reengineer them so they live for 100 years, eat
once a month, and milk
themselves.
A BRITISH CORPORATION:
You have two cows.
Both are mad.
AN ITALIAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows, but you don't know where they
are. You break for lunch.
A RUSSIAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows.
You count them and learn you have five cows.
You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
You count them again and learn you have 12 cows.
You stop counting cows and open another bottle of
vodka.
A SWISS CORPORATION:
You have 5000 cows, none of which belong to you.
You charge others for storing them.
HINDU CORPORATION:
You have two cows.
You worship them.
A CHINESE CORPORATION:
You have two cows.
You have 300 people milking them.
You claim full employment, high bovine productivity,
and arrest the newsman
who reported the numbers.
AN ISRAELI CORPORATION:
So, there are these two Jewish cows, right?
They open a milk factory, an ice cream store, and
then sell the movie
rights. They send their calves to Harvard to become
doctors. So, who needs
people?
AN ARKANSAS CORPORATION:
You have two cows.
That one on the left is kinda cute...
Comments, anybody ?
SOCIALISM:
You have 2 cows and you give one to your neighbour.
COMMUNISM:
You have 2 cows, the Government takes both and gives
you some milk.
FASCISM:
You have 2 cows, the Government takes both and sells
you some milk.
NAZISM:
You have 2 cows, the Government takes both and
shoots you ! ( <- XD !! )
BUREAUCRATISM:
You have 2 cows, the Government takes both, shoots
one, milks the other and
throws the milk away...
TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM:
You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.
You sell them and retire on the income.
ENRON VENTURE CAPITALISM:
You have two cows.
You sell three of them to your publicly listed
company, using letters of
credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank,
then execute a debt/equity
swap with an associated general offer so that you
get all four cows back,
with a tax exemption for five cows. The milk rights
of the six cows are
transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island
company secretly owned by
the majority shareholder who sells, the rights to
all seven cows back to
your listed company.The annual report says the
company owns eight cows, with
an option on one more. Sell one cow to buy a new
president of the United
States, leaving you with nine cows. No balance sheet
provided with the
release. The public buys your bull.
AN AMERICAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other
to produce the milk of
four cows. You are surprised when the cow drops
dead.
A FRENCH CORPORATION:
You have two cows.
You go on strike because you want three cows.
A JAPANESE CORPORATION:
You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of
an ordinary cow and
produce twenty times the milk. You then create
clever cow cartoon images
called Cowkimon and market them World-Wide.
A GERMAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows.
You reengineer them so they live for 100 years, eat
once a month, and milk
themselves.
A BRITISH CORPORATION:
You have two cows.
Both are mad.
AN ITALIAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows, but you don't know where they
are. You break for lunch.
A RUSSIAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows.
You count them and learn you have five cows.
You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
You count them again and learn you have 12 cows.
You stop counting cows and open another bottle of
vodka.
A SWISS CORPORATION:
You have 5000 cows, none of which belong to you.
You charge others for storing them.
HINDU CORPORATION:
You have two cows.
You worship them.
A CHINESE CORPORATION:
You have two cows.
You have 300 people milking them.
You claim full employment, high bovine productivity,
and arrest the newsman
who reported the numbers.
AN ISRAELI CORPORATION:
So, there are these two Jewish cows, right?
They open a milk factory, an ice cream store, and
then sell the movie
rights. They send their calves to Harvard to become
doctors. So, who needs
people?
AN ARKANSAS CORPORATION:
You have two cows.
That one on the left is kinda cute...
Comments, anybody ?