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happy_doughnut
May 10th, 2002, 01:26 AM
Here's a story I turned in for English class. To some, it may sound familiar :(. Anyway, my teacher liked it and I hope you guys do too.
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" Let me in Sonya!" a worryful voice from behind my bedroom door yelled. It was Mayra, my best friend. I could hear in her voice the pain and horror. The human, the bit that was left in me, wanted to open the door. It wanted to talk. Yet, I wasn't myself anymore. I wanted to see no one, rather, I wanted no one to see me. " Please Sonya, we care about you! Don't forget your parents, let us help you!" she said. Ah yes, my parents. The ones everyone thought were perfect. My fellow peers would at times say they envied me because of them. All I could tell them was that they were here, yet they were away. Throughout my life, my parents had never cared. Why were they acting like hypocrites now?
" Don't do it Sonya...please, open the door!" she yelled. The pounding grew louder, yet fainter. I knew my time had come. " I'm nothing, I can't do anything, I'm no one without him." I kept saying as if it were recorded inside my mind. I could hear the desperate pounding and at the same time, I felt a warm trickle of blood run down my face. It was then when I recalled why I looked like this.

I was outside talking to Mayra when I suddenly felt a hard tug at my arm. " I didn't give you permission to talk!" he yelled at me. Mayra stood there, watching in sheer horror as he dragged me into a room. I felt his hand on my face as he pounded with all his might. I soon fell faint to the floor. When I awoke, I was covered in blood. I could barely breath. With all the strength left within me, I staggered home and to where I am now.
I could stand it no longer. I wanted to be free. I picked up a mirror from under my bed and looked at myself. Bumps, cuts and lumps covered my face. I was deformed. My face was completely unrecognizable. Bruises along with a scar of a time when he was "playing" with a knife covered my throat. it was time. I wanted to be free of his shadow. I wanted to live life again; to be me. However, I knew it was too late now. My life was gone. I knew what I had to do. I WOULD be free, even if it had to be in this way.
I lied down on my bed and pulled a gun out from under my pillow. I put it to my head and closed my eyes. It was then when I realized I would never open my eyes ever again.
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¤sniff sniff¤

trunks69420
May 10th, 2002, 11:42 AM
That was great!! A little dark, but thats the way I write a lot of my stories too. Did your teachers say anything to you about it? I felt really sympathetic w/ the girl. a good friend of mine killed himself due to abuse, and i always wondered what he was going through. Thanks a lot for the insight. Again, GREAT STORY;)

Hylas
May 11th, 2002, 07:23 PM
Mena, this is so sad!
I can't believe your teachers liked it, because usually teacher don't like this genre of things!

Very sad, but nicely written!

happy_doughnut
May 11th, 2002, 08:36 PM
Yeah huh? She did tell me that it was somewhat inappropriate but she also said that it was very well writen. I got an A! She told me I have "potential" but that I should try and write less -sad- stuff :peoples: But hey, as long as I got a good grade :D

Oh and, glad you two liked it :happy:

Pu the Owl
May 14th, 2002, 08:44 AM
mmm Mena, that's a gloomy story. Do you like dark genres of novels maybe?

Mana
May 14th, 2002, 09:28 PM
Mena, this is really impressive and somewhat disturbing!
How much does it take to write something like that?
Do you start writing and then think of the ending while you're writing or do you have an idea from the beginning?

happy_doughnut
May 14th, 2002, 09:37 PM
Well, actually, stories such as this one don't take me at all that long to write. Most of the time, I just get this idea and begin to write away. As I keep writing, ideas keep coming and before I know it, I have made a story.
To be exact though, this story took me around 40 mins. or so to write.
I guess you can say that the ideas just come by themselves.

Yes, it is gloomy. But to be honest, I like to write/read these sorts of stories better than others. Besides, I think I am better at writing these than the -funny- ones.

But hey, I'm always up for a change and I'm glad you guys liked it :happy:

Lost_myth
May 27th, 2002, 02:53 PM
That was absolutly incredible! I think that was a very addicting story. Thanks for sharring.:phew:

Indrid Cold
Jun 9th, 2002, 09:08 PM
not bad....

Black Heart
Jun 9th, 2002, 09:11 PM
Amazing story Mena, very creative!

Indrid Cold
Jun 13th, 2002, 08:09 PM
I Like the way its been made up!