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happy_doughnut
May 1st, 2002, 12:41 AM
* THIS STORY TAKES PLACE AT THE PS2FANTASY COURT*

Meryl: Todays trial is of Hadoken vs. the Ps2Fantasy Community. The judge is the honorable Fortune. ALL RISE!!

(all the Ps2Fantasy members rise as Fortune walks in and sits on her throne chair)

Fortune:*Ahem*........HE'S GUILTYYYY!!!!!!!!!

Hadoken: :shock:

Crowd: Oh that Fortune woman!

Meryl: Will the defender in law, and the prosecutor please approach the bench.

JB: Good day, I am the district attorney, James Bond but you can call me JB.

CC: Hmph. I represent the defence. I am CC.

Fortune: Very well, I want this trial over as soon as possible, so don't try to pull any crap on me or else I'll roast ya and eat ya. Understood?

JB: Yes ma'am.

CC: Yes sir, I mean miss...

Fortune: Hmm, let's get this show on the road *snaps fingers* quickly!

JB: Dear humble, prestigious and kind people of the court, (voice is filled with hate and rage when he points at Hadoken) THIS MAN! (lowers it again) is responsible for a great evil, an evil which we have never encountered before. The boards have been INFECTED with a disgusting virus....HADOKEN AND HIS SPAM LADIES AND GENTLEMEN!!!

Hadoken: (in low tone of voice) Tsk tsk there's no need to exaggerate or anything...

CC: JB, dear Ps2Fantasy members,I'll we try to convince you to find some sort of "good point" in Hadonke's attempt to mock and thrash the boards, but...we all know how completely guilty he is....so let the trial begin!!

Fortune: Mr JB, you may call your first witness.

Meryl: The court calls.......Mr. Mourdor!!!!

Mourdor: (walks to the bench) This is SO cool but *ahem* I can't let it show now...

Fortune: Mr. Mourdor, do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing BUT the truth?? Eh, answer me!!

Mourdor: Yeah, sure. (sits in the witness seat)

JB: Mr. Mourdor, what kind of person is this Hadoken character?

CC: OBJECTION!!!! OBJECTION your honor!!! My client's lifestyle has nothing to do with this case!! Absolutely nothing at all!

JB: Sustain. Please continue Mr. JB.

JB: Tell me ...what were you doing at the 07-13-2001 10:56 AM?

Mourdor: Uh, I was driving in the woods of Ps2Fantasy.

JB: Hmm... do you remember what happened at that time?

Mourdor:Of course I do. Hadoken stopped my car, told me that Xenosaga was released, and when I went to the store he pointed out to me, he stole my car. He's such a piece of newball trash!

Hadoken: I was being chased for cripes sake!!!

Mourdor: I DON'T GIVE MUCH OF A... *stops*!!! Argh!

Crowd: Mumble mumble.

Fortune: Order. (slams hammer) ORDER!!! I SAID ORDER DAMN IT!!!

JB:*grinning* No further questions your honor.

CC: (walks to Mourdor) Mr Mourdor. If I tell you to go smell your belly button, what will you do?

Mourdor: ...I would ban you.

CC:Hmm... if I told you...that BoFV has been released on planet Pluto, what would you do?

Mourdor: Pst...I would go to Pluto.

Crowd: (laughs)

Mourdor: What? Whaaaat? Like all of you wouldn't....

CC: Your honor, it is completely obvious that Hadoken was totally unaware of the fact that Mr Mourdor would take his BoFV joke so seriously, and probably entered the car to avoid the unfortunate event, that someone might have attempted to steal Mr Mourdor's car. My client acted from the good of his heart, yet his kindness was completely misunderstood.

JB: 0.o

Hadoken: (refrains from laughing)

Mourdor: O.o

Fortune: I see. Very well, you may step down Mr Mourdor.

Mourdor: ....I don't know why but I think I've been had.

Meryl: And now the court calls...Ms Rei!!

Rei: Heeeeere's Rei!! Woo-hoo!

Fortune:*sigh* You swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth right?

Rei:Hmm...um I guess so.

Fortune: You don't swear with any "I guess so". You either swear or you don't.

Rei: Okay, okay jeez. I swear. (sits in the witness seat)

JB: Ms Rei, what do you think of Hadoken's "posts"?

Rei: Well, I think they're funny as hell--

JB: DID YOU HEAR HIER!?!?!? FUNNY AS HELL!!!! SATAN IS UPON US!!!!HADOKEN OBVIOUSLY PUTS NO CONTENT INTO HIS POSTS AND ALL HE WISHES IS TO BRING SATAN INTO OUR HOMES!!!

CC: Objection your honor. The prosecutor is so bent.

Fortune:Ah, sustain.

JB: ....no more questions.

CC: Ms Rei.... how would you describe Hadoken's posts??

Rei: Funny. Witty. Original. Unbelievably short= good posts!

Hadoken: I love this girl. :love:

CC: Was your personality, "warped" so to speak by reading his spost?

Rei: Nope! I am just as sane and literate as I ever was. By the way, this bench looks really tasty (takes a healthy bite out of the bench). Yum...goooood...

CC: UMOHMYTHANKYOUNOFURTHERQUESTIONSYOUMAYSTEPDOWNNOW! !!!!!!

Meryl: The court calls....Ms Hylas!

Hylas: Thank you. Thank you very much.

Fortune: Oh what a drag....Do you swear to tell nothing but the truth, the whole truth, and the truth?

Hylas: ....Yes.

Hylas: Please go to the bench.

JB: Ms Hylas, what do YOU think of Hadoken's posts??

Hylas: They're great!!

JB:Hmm.. Ms Hylas, have you actually read the content of his posts?

Hylas: Well, some of them.

JB: Have you read any of the ones in "Matchmaker"?


Hylas: I..I don't really remember...

JB: (shows a printed internet page to the judge) This here, is exchibit B. It's a printed form of Hadoken's posts. In these posts, Hylas says to Kuricoloken "I don't give a crap od whatever you have to say Hadoken. Do you remember saying that Ms Hylas??

Hylas: I uh...I...but, there IS a difference, between liking and not giving a --

JB: YES OR NO, MS HYLAS!!!!!!!

Hylas:...okay ....yes, I said that.

JB: Then, how can a person who finds his posts to be great, immediately afterwards say that he doesn't give a crap? Only a moron would say such thing!! Therefore, since I believe that you're not a moron, I think that you actually disliked his posts!!

CC:OBJECTION!! OBJECTION your honor!! We have no proof that Hylas is not a moron.

Fortune: :disturb: Er...Sustain.

Hylas:WHAT ...SUSTAIN!?!?!??!

Fortune: Please continue Mr JB.

JB: I have no further questions your honor.

CC: Mr Hylas, is it true that you ranted on and on about wanting to read more of Hadoken's so called posts?

Hylas: Ranted is a bit strong...but yeah, I wanted to read more of what he had to say.

CC: So, why exactly did you say to Hadoken "I don't give a fcrap"?

Hylas: Hadii asked me if I would like him to draw either a manga or a text story, and I told him I don't give a crap of whatever he did. I told him to do what he wanted to.

CC: (points at JB) AH-HAAAAAAAAA!!!!

JB: (mumbles and taps his finger on his desk)

CC:*smiling* No further questions your honor.

Fortune: You may step down now Ms Hylas.

Meryl: The court calls...Ms Mena!!!!

Mena: (walks to the bench)

Fortune:...blah blah... do you swear to tell nothing about the truth, the truth of the whole, and the truth's truth?

Mena: ....?

Fortune: I mean...do you swear to tell the truth?

Mena:*looks around* Uh... Yes.

Fortune: This whole truth talk gives me a headache, who the heck in st. bakersfield came up with this "tell the truth" line? ...anyway, go sit to the bench.

JB: Ms Mena, what purpose do you think Hadoken's posts served for?

Mena: Well, you see, Hadoken's a homosexual.

Hadoken: I- I -- WHAT!??!?!

Mena: Throughout his posts, all we can see is a bunch of sick and twisted jokes of homoerotic nature, as well as perverted homosexual scenes between our beloved DBZ characters. Heck, his favorite character is Freeza. What did you expect?

Hadoken: LIES!!!! AAAAAALL LIES!!!!!! SHE'S LYING!! SHE'S EVIL I TELL YA!!!EVIL!!!!!

CC: Don't worry, if she's lying I'll catch her off guard.

JB: Did you find his posts funny?

Mena: Are you kidding me? Who can find funny any posts of a homosexual?

Hadoken: (swears and growls) grr...that woman!

Crowd: MUMBLE MUMBLE

Fortune: AAAAAAAAAH SHUT UP!!!! (slams hammer)

JB: Tsk, No further questions your honor.

CC: Describe us a homosexual Ms Mena.

JB: OBJECTION your honor!! He's trying to guide the witness--

Mena: (points at Hadoken) Right there! Just like that one!!

JB:Uh --nothing your honor.

Crowd: (laughs)

Fortune: :laugh:

Hadoken: oooh, I hate her!!!!

CC: :disturb: ...no further questions your honor.

Meryl: The court calls....Mr Black Thornn!!

Black Thornn: ...(walks to the bench)

Fortune: Ah, do you swear to tell the truth and all that crap?

Black Thornn: What is an oath? Really. Is it...a metapsychic agreement between a person and his deity? Is it a connection of sorts with fate itself? Or is it simply a cleverly arranged fact by various people, with it's roots originating from the distant past, where time and space were more than simple ideals?

Fortune: ......?

Black Thornn: Fate. Oath. Belief. God. The Void. Death. Comparison. It is clear that this was not a mere plea of sorts, acting on it's own free will. Perhaps we're dealing with a construct of society; perhaps we're answering the call of a superior life force (race?), or we may have a lot of spare time on our hands. What is a man made of? Why did he chose the oath, while there HAD to be other ways and methods to express his devotion on a quest, or an ideal, or a simple action --did he really had to chose the thing we call "an oath"? And besides, not all people hold an oath to a high esteem. Others will probably --

Fortune:AH DAMN YES OR NO!?!?!??

Black Thornn: ...Yes.

JB: Mr Thorn--

happy_doughnut
May 1st, 2002, 12:43 AM
Black Thorn: That's Mr Black Thornn for you pal.

Gokou: Very well, Mr....uh, Black Thornn...anyway, what do you think of Hadokne's spam,er, "posts"?

Black Thornn: Posts are a way of expression. Just like comedy --though it uses a different level of approach--, the main purpose of a post is to--

JB: Please Mr Black Thorn, we are refferring to HADOKEN'S POSTS, not posts in general.

Black Thornn: Ack, sorry, haven't read those.

Gokou: O_o

CC: What an excellent witness.

Fortune: Please step down--ubbs.

JB: ?? Your honor?

Fortune: What!...I feel kinda weird...my stomach...oh god....(falls to the floor)

CC: Quickly!! Ms Fortune is ill!!!

(after a few hours, outside the courtroom)

CC: Turns out that Ms Fortune ate a bad fish, and she is now violently ill. The judge's place is empty....what a shame....

Hadoken: So can I go then?

JB: In your dreams pal. I have called a new judge to come and continue the trial. He was filled in all the details, and the trial so far.

Hadoken: That's illegal!!

JB: HOW DARE YOU SPEAK ABOUT THE LAW OF THE PS2FANTASY COMMUNITY, WHEN YOU HAVE DONE ANYTHING BUT MOCK THE LAW!!?!?!?

Hadoken: Jeez, take a chill pill.

Meryl: All inside the courtroom guys. The new judge arrived.

Hadoken (with pure fake excitement): Kewl.

(inside the courtroom, once again)

Meryl: Due to a rotten fish, the trial was forced to hold for a few hours, but now a new judge has arrived. Judge is now the honorable Miang. ALL RISE.

Hadoken: Oh no, OH NOOO!!!

CC: What is it?

Hadoken: (hides his face with his hands)

Miang: Please be seated.

JB: I'm the district attorney.

CC:And I represent the accused, I am the defender in law.

Miang: (nods at JB and CC, then looks at Hadoken) ...hey...hey I know you! Mwuahahaha!

Kuricoloken: $#!+

Miang: Yeah...YEAH, you're that guy who made fun of FF8! You're the accused?? HOOOOOO-HAA!!!

Hadoken: (gulps)

JB: We have no more witnesses your honor. You may reach a verdict--

CC: We have one last witness.

JB: Oh really? Who?

CC: The defence calls.......Kabuki Magnifico.

Crowd: (gasps)

Meryl: A DBZ - FLAMER!?!??! ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND!!!?!?!?

CC: Good idea, eh Had?

Hadoken: .....A DBZ - FLAMER!?!??! ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND!!!?!?!?

CC: Trust me.

KM: Hey folks.

Miang: Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing BUT the truth?

KM: Of course!! (sits on the bench)

JB: Mr Magnifico, do you think that DBZ jokes Hadoken posts hurt the Ps2Fantasy community?

KM: No....(turns at CC)..this is SOO easy!!! Tee hee!

JB: Then you think that the Ps2F boards are safe through Hadoken's posts... Do you honestly believe that?

KB: Emmm.....SURE!!

JB: Remember Mr KB... you're under oath.

KB: Oh yeah, right, I mean, I wouldn't lie...TO GOD!!!

JB: ...this confession comes from a person who hates DBZ's guts.

KB: Me? But....I LOOOVE Dragonball Z.

JB:Grr... no further questions.

CC: Do you think that Hadoken is a threat to the boards?

KB: Of course not (shocked look)!! Who would believe that?

CC: No further questions.

Miang: Okay. The jury Confucious, Pancho Villa, Joseph Stalin, Mao Zedong, Bebi Vegeta, Tina Turner, Sephiroth, and Sponge Bob will now vote for a decision.

(after a few hours)

Miang: On the accusation of Hadloken being a threat to the boards, the accused has been found...

Kuricoloken: ...*nervous*....

Miang: Guilty.

CC: O_o

JB: (sylvestro-like-voice) Yethhhhhh....

Miang: On the accusation of Hadonken writing spaming...the accused has been found....guilty.

Hadoken: Well DUH.

Miang: On the accusation of Hadoloken being in works with the Devil himself, the accused has been found ....guilty.

Hadoken: Do you accept check or money order as payment?

CC: With this kind verdict? hell, no!

Miang: On the accusation of Hadoken being the very fabric of evil, the accused has been found.....guilty.

JB: I knew it. I was right all these years!!

Minag: On the accusation of Hadloken being a homosexual....the accused has been found....guilty.

Hadoken: (makes the jerk off gesture) Bah!

Miang: On the accusation of Hadoken being the lowest of the low, the accused has been found guilty.

Hadoken: Hey, are you making these up?

Miang: Oh nooooo....Anyway, COUGH COUGH. Hadoken you have been found guilty of masturbation, rape, armed robbery, threat to the boards, lowest of the low, being the fabric of evil, the devil's advocate, and of homosexuality.

Kuricoloken: ...

Miang: Do you have anything to say before I pronounce sentence?

Hadoken: .....uummm...

Miang: ...

Hadoken: Can't you guys take a joke?

Miang: Do you have anything...INTELLIGENT to say, before I pronounce sentence?

Hadoken: emm in that case...nope!!

Minag: Very well. The sentence is as follows: We will cleave your hands and feet, have your heads eaten by piranha, and then we shall suffocate you through printed works of posts, shoved in your mouth.

Hadoken: How colorful.

Miang: TAKE HIM AWAY!!!

Hadoken: NO!! NOOOO!!! CC!! DO SOMETHING!!

CC: Did my best Had. Sorry (takes some cash from JB).

LATER, ON HADOKEN'S CELL...

Hadoken: It can't end like this....not me..Hadoken....I shouldn't DIE because I tried to write some funny posts....

Magksnake: Hey Hadoken. It's time.

Hadoken: (gulps)

(Hadoken is guided through the prison, towards the execution room)

Hadoken: This is...this is a nightmare!!! Not my hands!! Not my feet!! AND GAWD, NOT MY YOU KNOW WHAT!!!!!

Magksnake: Are you ready Executioner?

Macceh^: Ready as I'll ever be.

Hadoken: NO!!! NOOOOO! !NNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

AND THAT IS HOW, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, HADOKEN LOST HIS HAIR, HANDS, FEET AND ALL THIS DEAR ^_^.

Hadoken
May 1st, 2002, 12:59 AM
LMAO!!!!:laugh:
my stomach is hurtin from laughing through the story.
gee, i never noticed how evil i was.. and that i was accused of all those things i cant even remember doing!
some lawyer CC is....
i have one more thing to say...
BEST STORY EVER!! lol


edit: btw mena, clean out your pm's. i cant send you anymore because your mailbox is full.

and also. i like FFVIII! its my fave!;)

Rei
May 1st, 2002, 08:23 AM
OMG!!!! This is so funny! Can't stop laughing!
Now we have the evidence Hadoken is evil!

007_JamesBond
May 1st, 2002, 11:14 AM
that story was the best, I loved it. I tip my hat, but I want more

Uchiha Sasuke
May 1st, 2002, 04:08 PM
Now this story kicks @$$.Excellent Job Mena

IcyMourdor
May 1st, 2002, 06:01 PM
I liked it Mena, nice work.

merylsilverburg
May 1st, 2002, 08:19 PM
OMG!! :laugh: :laugh: This is the funniest story I've (well, the ONLY story I've read :heh: ) in the PS2 Fan Fiction! The parts for the members on this forum fit very well! (Thanks for including me!) I also liked how you brought Miang to it. :cool: Ah, well, excellent job, Mena! Write more! XD

Hadoken
May 1st, 2002, 08:40 PM
err, hey meryl, how do you know about miang?:peoples:

merylsilverburg
May 1st, 2002, 08:56 PM
Originally posted by Hadoken
err, hey meryl, how do you know about miang?:peoples:

She's a member of Spirit's forum at Bladegash. Plus, pg. 4 on the thread "Game: Matchmaker!"......am I wrong about Miang? You know what? I don't want to spam and it looks like we're spamming....:P

Pu the Owl
May 1st, 2002, 10:56 PM
LOL :laugh:
This is another brilliant story!

happy_doughnut
May 1st, 2002, 11:46 PM
I think your secret is out Hadoken...
Anyway, I always knew Hadoken was evil and I was finally able to prove it!! I'm glad you guys liked it :)

Hadoken
May 2nd, 2002, 12:00 AM
just a sec there mena... err, "which" secret? pm me the answer. i am confused. lol
and so i`m evil.... what, you want a laugh with that too? ok fine.
*evil laugh*
MWAHAHAhahahahahaha!!!!!
ugh... my... stomach!!.... oh no... not again!
*runs off*
I'll get some payback for this!
mwahahahaahahaha!!!! ughg..... ugh, better hurry... what the hell did i eat?

JC Denton
May 2nd, 2002, 03:46 PM
i like it!
post more

b.t.w this is the first time i have posted in here since "sword of hades"

is it coming back mordour, it had a good start.

Cannibal Clown
May 2nd, 2002, 04:08 PM
That has to be the greatest story I've ever read. I'm not talking about only the fan fics, but of any story. I thought it was funny as hell. I loved every minute of it. You made the characters so lively, and were so creative with the diolauge. The ending was awesome, and I loved the way you were able to put so many members into the story, without cluttering it and making it sound unrealistic. The story had a lot of cool twists, exspecially the part where Fortune gets sick off of the fish. And the members of the jury were real cool too.

I'm so glad that I had the honer to be a part of the story, but I'm sure that Hadoken wasn't to happy about how I handled things. You have a great talent with writing, and the way you make everything fit so perfectly, no matter how wierd, was very commendable.

I hope you write more, maybe a spin offf from this one, like what happens after the trial.

Anyway, this post is getting too long, all in all, great job. Truely, great job!