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[RexNorton]

> > >HOW CAN YOU LIVE WITHOUT KNOWING THESE THINGS?
> > >The first couple to be shown in bed together on prime time TV
> > >were Fred and Wilma Flintstone.
> > >~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> > >Every day more money is printed for Monopoly than the US Treasury.
> > >~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~
> > >Men can read smaller print than women can; women can hear better.
> > >~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~
> > >Coca-Cola was originally green.
> > >~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~
> > >It is impossible to lick your elbow.
> > >~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~
> > >The state with the highest percentage of people who walk to work:
> > >Alaska
> > >~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~
> > >The percentage of Africa that is wilderness: 28%
> > >( now get this...)
> > >The percentage of North America that is wilderness: 38%
> > >~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~
> > >The cost of raising a medium-size dog to the age of eleven:
> > >$6,400
> > >~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~
> > >The average number of people airborne over the US any given hour:
> > >61,000
> > >~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~
> > >Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in their hair.
> > >~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~
> > >The world's youngest parents were 8 and 9 and lived in China in
> > >1910.
> > >~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~
> > >The youngest pope was 11 years old.
> > >~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~
> > >The first novel ever written on a typewriter: Tom Sawyer.
> > >~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~
> > >Those San Francisco Cable cars are the only mobile National Monuments.
> > >~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~
> > >Each king in a deck of playing cards represents a great king from
> > history:
> > >Spades - King David,
> > >Hearts - Charlemagne,
> > >Clubs -Alexander, the Great
> > >Diamonds - Julius Caesar
> > >~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~
> > >111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987,654,321
> > >~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~
> > >If a statue in the park of a person on a horse has both front legs in the
> > air, the person died in battle. If the horse has one front leg in the air
> > the person died as a result of wounds received in battle. If the horse has
> > all four legs on the ground, the person died of natural causes.
> > >~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~
> > >Only two people signed the Declaration of Independence on July 4th, John
> > Han**** and Charles Thomson. Most of the rest signed on August 2, but the
> > last signature wasn't added until 5 years later.
> > >~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~
> > >"I am." is the shortest complete sentence in the English language.
> > >~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~
> > >Hershey's Kisses are called that because the machine that makes them
> > looks like it's kissing the conveyor belt.
> > >~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~
> > >Q. What occurs more often in December than any other month?
> > >A. Conception.
> > >~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> > >Q. Half of all Americans live within 50 miles of what?
> > >A. Their birthplace
> > >~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~
> > >Q. Most boat owners name their boats. What is the most popular boat name
> > requested?
> > >A. Obsession
> > >~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> > >Q. If you were to spell out numbers, how far would you have to go until
> > you would find the letter "A"?
> > >A. One thousand
> > >~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> > >Q. What do bulletproof vests, fire escapes, windshield wipers, and laser
> > printers all have in common?
> > >A. All invented by women.
> > >~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~
> > >Q. What is the only food that doesn't spoil?
> > >A. Honey
> > >~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~
> > >Q. There are more collect calls on this day than any other day of the
> > year?
> > >A. Father's Day
> > >~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~
> > >Q. What trivia fact about Mel Blanc (voice of Bugs Bunny) is the most
> > ironic?
> > >A. He was allergic to carrots.
> > >~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~
> > >Q. What is an activity performed by 40% of all people at a party?
> > >A. Snoop in your medicine cabinet.
> > >~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~
> > >In Shakespeare's time, mattresses were secured on bed frames by ropes.
> > When you pulled on the ropes the mattress tightened, making the bed firmer
> > to sleep on. Hence the phrase goodnight, sleep tight".
> > >~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> > >It was the accepted practice in Babylon 4,000 years ago that for a month
> > after the wedding, the bride's father would supply his son-in-law with all
> > the mead he could drink. Mead is a honey beer and because their calendar
> > was lunar based, this period was called the honey month we know today as
> > the honeymoon.
> > >~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~
> > >In English pubs, ale is ordered by pints and quarts. So in old
> > >England, when customers got unruly, the bartender would yell at them mind
> > their own pints and quarts and settle down. It's where we get the phrase
> > "mind your P's and Q's"
> > >~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> > >Many years ago in England, pub frequenters had a whistle baked into the
> > rim or handle of their ceramic cups. When they needed a refill, they used
> > the whistle to get some service. "Wet your whistle" is the phrase inspired
> > by this practice.
> > >~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> > >In Scotland, a new game was invented. It was entitled Gentlemen Only
> > Ladies Forbidden.... and thus the word GOLF entered into the English
> > language.
> > >~~~~~~~~~~~AND FINALLY~~~~~~~~~~~~
> > >At least 75% of people who read this will try to lick their elbow.
> >

i haven't tried to lick my elbow yet but i might give it a try later

[007_JamesBond]

these are awsome where did you find them,

[MakgSnake]

All Those Are Pretty Decent Man. Intresting. I Heard Most Of Em Though, But Still.....It Was Nice!

But Did U Know That There Are 6 Billion People On This Planet And 1 Billion In India Only And......
There Are Around 1, 687 Languages Spoken In The WHOLE World And 867 Are Spoken In India Alone!

By The Way My FAV Is The 111111111 .... <---- That One. I Love The Answer!!!!

[RexNorton]

it was emailed to me. i think i have more...let me see if i can fine 'em

[RexNorton]

BECAUSE I'M A MAN

Because I'm a man, when I lock my keys in the car I will fiddle with a wire
clothes hanger and ignore your suggestions that we call a road service until
long after hypothermia has set in.

Because I'm a man, when the car isn't running very well, I will pop the hood
and stare at the engine as if I know what I'm looking at. If another man
shows up, one of us will say to the other, "I used to be able to fix these
things, but now with all these computers and everything, I wouldn't know
where to start." We will then drink beer.

Because I'm a man, when I catch a cold I need someone to bring me soup and
take care of me while I lie in bed and moan. You never get as sick as I do,
so for you this isn't an issue.

Because I'm a man, I can be relied upon to purchase basic groceries at the
store, like milk or bread. I cannot be expected to find exotic items like
"Cumin" or "Tofu". For all I know these are the same thing. And never, under
any circumstances, expect me to pick up anything for which "feminine hygiene
product" is a euphemism.

Because I'm a man, when one of our appliances stops working I will insist on
taking it apart, despite evidence that this will just cost me twice as much
once the repair person gets here and has to put it back together.

Because I'm a man, I must hold the television remote control in my hand
while I watch TV. If the thing has been misplaced, I may miss a whole show
looking for it (though one time I was able to survive by holding a
calculator).

Because I'm a man, there is no need to ask me what I'm thinking about. The
answer is always either sex, racing, or football, though I have to make up
something else when you ask, so don't.

Because I'm a man, I do not want to visit your mother, or have your mother
come visit us, or talk to her when she calls, or think about her any more
than I have to. Whatever you got her for mother's day is okay, I don't need
to see it. And don't forget to pick up something for my Mom too!!

Because I'm a man, you don't have to ask me if I liked the movie. Chances
are, if you're crying at the end of it, I didn't.

Because I'm a man, I think what you're wearing is fine. I thought what you
were wearing five minutes ago was fine, too. Either pair of shoes is fine.
With the belt or without it looks fine. Your hair is fine. You look fine.
Can we just go now?

Because I'm a man, and this is, I will share equally in the housework. You
just do the laundry, the cooking, the gardening, the cleaning, and the
dishes. I'll do the rest.

[Gadzoox]

Aaha! Excellent! Thanks for sharing!

[RexNorton]

ok last one for the night

Joys Of Being Male

1. Your rear is never a factor in a job interview.
2. Your orgasms are real. Always.
3. Your last name stays put.
4. The garage is all yours.
5. Wedding plans take care of themselves.
6. Chocolate is just another snack.
7. You can be president.
8. You can wear a white shirt to a water theme park.
9. Foreplay is optional.
10. You never feel compelled to stop a friend from getting laid.
11. Car mechanics tell you the truth.
12. You don't care if someone doesn't notice your new haircut.
13. The world is your urinal.
14. Hot wax never comes near your pubic area.
15. You never have to drive to another gas station
because this one's just too icky.
16. Same work... more pay.
17. Wrinkles add character.
18. You don't have to leave the room to make emergency
crotch adjustments.
19. Wedding Dress $2000; Tux rental $100.
20. If you retain water, it's in a canteen.
21. People never glance at your chest when you're
talking to them.
22. The occasional well rendered belch is practically
expected.
23. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
24. Porn movies are designed with you in mind.
25. Not liking a person does not preclude having great
sex with them.
26. Your pals can be trusted never to trap you
with: "So, notice anything different?"

And, Finally, . . . . . .
27. One mood, all the time.

[RichHo]

yep, tried to lick my elbow, but i was still at least 3 inches away!

[RexNorton]

i'm reluctant to try and lick my elbo for some reason

[Lost_myth]

I almost tried to lick my elbow. I liked the other two, but since I'm slow I didn't understand 1-27. If you didn't already answer this question... Where do you get these things from? I didn't know a lot of the things you said, thanks for the information.

[RexNorton]

i'm sorry, the 1-27 list is the joys of being a male. tottaly forgot to put that at the top.


i get most of them through email

[Lost_myth]

Oh ok. That actually helps a lot.... I was like wait a minute this is too confusing, but I get it now.