_RED_ stuff (version1.1)

Redpyramidhead · Sep 9th, 2003, 12:04 AM

_RED_ stuff

by

Redpyramidhead (Mark S.)

A twilight in hell
magic hour beautiful yet so sour
a taste in this mouth
as one waits as a raven in the crook of Dis' highest tower
with what one is relentlessly told to aspire
as one spreads their wings for a downward loop into the absense of air's current, no power
the only torrent against thine approach in spirals and downward cycles through cyclopean spire
That they are what reach for the forsaken lands' poisened skies
What maketh what Thee dare call blasphemous stalagmites of artistic wonder, endless lifetimes to ponder,
the meticulously woven heart threads, arterial matter, and the last lamenting parts of soul bound
to even the seventh chakra and feeding your hand poisened lies

They come every day now
sometimes in pairs, thirds, and fourths somehow
They search for longevity and what they have been told to be devine
and ask for on tap from hell's most grandiose and livid if not vivid gardens the finest red wine
The audacity...
Oh, how they shall all get as much red stuff as their hearts desire in due time...

_RED_ stuff

trunks69420 · Oct 4th, 2003, 01:37 AM

Very nice sir

I like it a lot actually... i think i might share that one w/ a couple of my friends outside of here if that is okay with you... you have a real talent for the poetry! Make sure you keep at it!

Rei · Oct 6th, 2003, 03:05 PM

Have I told you you have an amazing lyrical talent ? You use words that have something like an antique flavor in them.

Redpyramidhead · Oct 7th, 2003, 12:33 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Rei

Have I told you you have an amazing lyrical talent ? You use words that have something like an antique flavor in them.

Wow

Thanks a lot, Rei. You have no idea how much that comment means to me. I can tell it's genuine and you really mean it. I was worried nobody liked this one cuz it went unnoticed for so long.

Silly me, I should know better, maybe. Thanks again

_RED_ stuff

Pu the Owl · Oct 7th, 2003, 04:22 AM

I'm sorry. I also didn't comment lately, mainly because after the long period away from the pc, I completely lost contact with anything involving the forums

I agree with both previous comments, I think they said it better than I possibly could now. And I find Rei's "antique flavor" definition very appropriate.

Just a question, with no direct reference to this work (it's a general question): do you read Rimbaud or similar French poets?

Redpyramidhead · Oct 7th, 2003, 10:43 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Fortune
I agree with both previous comments, I think they said it better than I possibly could now. And I find Rei's "antique flavor" definition very appropriate.

Awww, THanks!!

Another word for the style I am trying to learn is rhetoric. It's an older style of speaking that was more poetic and flowing... I like the way it sounds and the way it captures you. I am hoping to take some courses on this style of writing. Right now I barely know what I'm doing, but I wasn't trying to make the entire piece based on it, anyway.

Quote:

Just a question, with no direct reference to this work (it's a general question): do you read Rimbaud or similar French poets?

No, I have no read Rimbaud I am sorry to say. I might have seen some poetry by french poets in a couple of the books I have, but I wouldn't be able to name them and I don't speak French, unfortunately. I imagine an english translation would lose all the original glory of anything written in french. I am interested in this, though so if you have any information on french poets who write in english, please share. Maybe even in French. Never too late to learn! Thanks

_RED_ stuff

Meiko · Oct 13th, 2003, 08:21 PM

Aww... I wish I could write something like that! You have great talent man! I envy your ability to write poems!

Hylas · Oct 14th, 2003, 09:11 AM

Quote:

I envy your ability to write poems!

Yeah, old Red is very good at these things, bless him! His works are always inspirational for us, little ignorant people

Redpyramidhead · Nov 19th, 2003, 01:58 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Hylas

Yeah, old Red is very good at these things, bless him! His works are always inspirational for us, little ignorant people

You seem upset Hylas? Or did I read that wrong. Nobody said you were ignorant and I never said I was some kind of masterful poet. I just like to share my writings because I am proud of most of them and I am looking for feedback becuase the whole idea of sharing them is exciting to me. Hylas, I would like to see some of your writings if you have any. Are we cool

_RED_ stuff

Sep 9th, 2003, 12:04 AM	#1
Redpyramidhead pazparacolombia Joined: Sep 2002 Location: Restless dreams... Age: 43 Posts: 2,002	_RED_ stuff (version1.1) _RED_ stuff by Redpyramidhead (Mark S.) A twilight in hell magic hour beautiful yet so sour a taste in this mouth as one waits as a raven in the crook of Dis' highest tower with what one is relentlessly told to aspire as one spreads their wings for a downward loop into the absense of air's current, no power the only torrent against thine approach in spirals and downward cycles through cyclopean spire That they are what reach for the forsaken lands' poisened skies What maketh what Thee dare call blasphemous stalagmites of artistic wonder, endless lifetimes to ponder, the meticulously woven heart threads, arterial matter, and the last lamenting parts of soul bound to even the seventh chakra and feeding your hand poisened lies They come every day now sometimes in pairs, thirds, and fourths somehow They search for longevity and what they have been told to be devine and ask for on tap from hell's most grandiose and livid if not vivid gardens the finest red wine The audacity... Oh, how they shall all get as much red stuff as their hearts desire in due time... _RED_ stuff __________________ "..loathsome laughing, mixed with such a cry as no man has heard save for in the phlegathon of unrelatable nightmares; a cry wherein reverberated the horror and anguish of a haunted lifetime packed into one atrocious moment..."

Oct 4th, 2003, 01:37 AM	#2
trunks69420 Now Im Nothing Joined: Jan 2002 Location: Rochester, NY Age: 39 Posts: 2,415	Very nice sir I like it a lot actually... i think i might share that one w/ a couple of my friends outside of here if that is okay with you... you have a real talent for the poetry! Make sure you keep at it! __________________ "It wont give up it wants me dead... Goddamn this voice inside my head" five vicodin chased with a shot of clarity...

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_RED_ stuff (version1.1)

Oct 6th, 2003, 03:05 PM	#3
Rei EVA 00 Pilot Joined: Jan 2002 Location: NERV Age: 41 Posts: 2,239	Have I told you you have an amazing lyrical talent ? You use words that have something like an antique flavor in them.

Oct 7th, 2003, 04:22 AM	#5
Pu the Owl Useless Oracle™ Joined: Jan 2002 Location: Everywhere Posts: 5,136	I'm sorry. I also didn't comment lately, mainly because after the long period away from the pc, I completely lost contact with anything involving the forums I agree with both previous comments, I think they said it better than I possibly could now. And I find Rei's "antique flavor" definition very appropriate. Just a question, with no direct reference to this work (it's a general question): do you read Rimbaud or similar French poets?

Oct 13th, 2003, 08:21 PM	#7
Meiko Senior Member Joined: Jun 2003 Location: Wales Age: 37 Posts: 537	Aww... I wish I could write something like that! You have great talent man! I envy your ability to write poems!


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