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Feb 7th, 2003, 07:01 PM | #1 |
Retired...
Joined: Jan 2002
Location: Swamp hill.
Age: 37
Posts: 1,632
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The Card House
By: S4H
A card house has been built Built only for me The entire deck displayed before me in such a lush demeanor Who knew that a card house could be built in just a moment And yet I fear it As well as its builder No matter how elegant the design Its roots are still thin and its walls brittle Do I dare enter and ruin your creation? Your structure that you have so kindly made for my head Will it protect me from the elements of your cold breath? I fear not For this house has been made with too many windows Far too many windows How are you able to peer through each with such finesse? How are you able to tie a tighter hold of my leash? My collar aches My bones grow weak My sanity ruptured What would happen if I pulled the Ace of Spades from its position? Would your card house fall upon me? Or would you…
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and for now the tired soldier sheathes his sword... |
Feb 8th, 2003, 07:54 AM | #2 |
Senior Member
Joined: Jan 2002
Location: Um...? *Pulls out map*
Age: 40
Posts: 1,887
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Wow!
That's really good S4H, I really like the whole card thing and the words, which you have used. It's really good, Keep up the good work.
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"I'm back! But for how long who knows? But PS2Fantasy will always be on my mind!" |
Feb 9th, 2003, 11:53 AM | #3 |
Retired...
Joined: Jan 2002
Location: Swamp hill.
Age: 37
Posts: 1,632
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Thank you Soul
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and for now the tired soldier sheathes his sword... |
Feb 9th, 2003, 09:47 PM | #4 |
Every One Dies Alone
Joined: May 2002
Location: In the depths of existance where the hot magma flows.
Age: 37
Posts: 1,057
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It was brilliant.. Good sense of language and I like the whole vibe to the poem.
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All around me are familiar faces Worn out places Worn out faces Bright & early for the daily races Going nowhere Going nowhere Their tears R filling up their glasses No Xpression No Xpression Hide my head I want to drown my sorrows No 2morrow No 2morrow & I find it kindof funny I find it kindof sad. These dreams in which i'm dying, R the best I've ever had |
Feb 10th, 2003, 04:11 PM | #5 |
Retired...
Joined: Jan 2002
Location: Swamp hill.
Age: 37
Posts: 1,632
|
Thank you...eh chicken.....wire....man I'm just gonna call you myth like normal
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and for now the tired soldier sheathes his sword... |
Feb 12th, 2003, 08:22 AM | #6 |
Talk to the hand
Joined: Nov 2002
Location: Manchester
Posts: 3,520
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goodwork, I like the language used there, brilliant.
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